Emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusive parenting is real in Africa

The only way parents show kids they love them is by paying school fees

Turbulent marriages,violent marriages aka boxing ring home, married women living with husbands Like though they aren't married, baby mamaism etc isn't making it any better

Op I get your point but it's a subjective opinion. I'm not surprised a lot of people are uncomfortable or don't buy your opinion. It's because of our cultural idiosyncrasies. In Africa the reason for being a woman is being married, the reason for being married is popping out kids. Whether you are emotionally, financially and physically ready for motherhood or fatherhood is irrelevant to Africans. The idea of showing you're a man is not necessarily by hard work but impregnating a woman and the only way to show you are a woman and fertile is to be popping out even if you don't have food to eat

Apparently every man or woman wants to prove they're man enough or woman enough so they keep popping out like hurny pigs

so don't blame them for not buying your philosophy

Freiburger:
@OP
Your decision not have kids is not a reason to start hating on those who decided to have. Keep your opinion to yourself.

Wondering if this is even a topic

Exactly, he is not interested in raising kids but hoping to adopt kids later on in the future? How is he going to adopt if everyone decides to not have kids?

The most difficult and strictest country to live in when it comes to child bearing is China. After attaining a population size of 1 billion, China raised a one-child policy. That policy was heavily criticized and after a while, the policy was changed to a two-child system, implying that each households are allowed to raise only two kids whether rich or poor. That's fair enough, you can't place an embargo on child bearing, not even in the most strictest and most populated country in the world.

People die everyday especially in this part of the world (although high death rate isn't even enough reason to birth heavily), so it is just normal to see newborns everyday.

That people die on the roads everyday does not mean we won't travel by roads. If people are dying, it is probably because the roads are bad, vehicles are in bad shape or the drivers are terrible. The society is already too fcked up we can't afford to start seeing Child Bearing/Raising as the cause of our problems.

If you don't have a driver's license, don't drive. If you're not mentally fit to raise a child, don't give birth. Road transportation don't kill people, bad roads and bad drivers do. Child bearing don't make people poor, bad economy, corrupt governments, mental laziness and bad leadership choices do.

Op's choices must be respected but my only concern is that it is not everything you do because you're "completely ready". I will never advise a 30 year old woman to wait and not raise a child until she gets a lot of money, even if it will take her 25 years?

Biology and nature have placed some demands on us, and we are not going to live forever. Truth is this, no one can be 100% ready for anything. A lot of us were enrolled in primary schools without our consents. Why didn't our parents wait to ask whether we were ready before enrolling us in primary schools?? Must every child start school at age 1 or 2?

SAMBARRY:
Emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusive parenting is real in Africa

The only way parents show kids they love them is by paying school fees

Turbulent marriages,violent marriages aka boxing ring home, married women living with husbands Like though they aren't married, baby mamaism etc isn't making it any better

Op I get your point but it's a subjective opinion. I'm not surprised a lot of people are uncomfortable or don't buy your opinion. It's because of our cultural idiosyncrasies. In Africa the reason for being a woman is being married, the reason for being married is popping out kids. Whether you are emotionally, financially and physically ready for motherhood or fatherhood is irrelevant to Africans. The idea of showing you're a man is not necessarily by hard work but impregnating a woman and the only way to show you are a woman and fertile is to be popping out even if you don't have food to eat

Apparently every man or woman wants to prove they're man enough or woman enough so they keep popping out like hurny pigs

so don't blame them for not buying your philosophy

You totally get it. People around here don't even care how they raise their kids. They rather believe that the more children they have, the better. Why? because there's a general belief that the kids are obligated to care for them later in life, even when they are not old. So you see the population growth in poorer countries escalating without the economic advantage that is expected of such. Why? because those young people are broken, born into poverty, without love and most times malnourished thereby incapacitating their cognitive and physical abilities. The spiral continues, and i don't even want to mention the corrupt governance and pathetic economy. So some godforsaken soul is gonna still go ahead and pop kids like it's a competition; even when the maternal mortality rate and life expectancy around here is alarming. I'm in awe!!

FRoosevelt:
You totally get it. People around here don't even care how they raise their kids. They rather believe that the more children they have, the better. Why? because there's a general belief that the kids are obligated to care for them later in life, even when they are not old. So you see the population growth in poorer countries escalating without the economic advantage that is expected of such. Why? because those young people are broken, born into poverty, without love and most times malnourished thereby incapacitating their cognitive and physical abilities. The spiral continues, and i don't even want to mention the corrupt governance and pathetic economy. So some godforsaken soul is gonna still go ahead and pop kids like it's a competition; even when the maternal mortality rate and life expectancy around here is alarming. I'm in awe!!

blame our culture for it. Everyone always wants to show that they have a point to prove and because we live in a society where there is no sustainable social security for the old, we've unconsciously developed a culture of popping out kids for our long term parochial motives eg serving as social security for the parents at old age and also for emotional support and when the kids become adults and face real ife situations,financial breakdown, unemployment etc and are unable to care for their aged parents, na there generational fight go start because of high and unrealistic expectations from the parents

That's when you will hear the parents saying but jide is living in a big flat in Lagos and he refused to send me money for drugs, meanwhile the jide could be squatting WIth friends or hasn't paid house rent so the parents hopes get dashed not knowing he himself hasn't gotten his bearing in life. Then t cycle of poverty, frustration and masochism Creeps in and then the jide vents his anger on his wife and kids because of his lack and the pressure from his parents to Marry and pop kids because he's of age not minding he himself is not financially stable to take care of himself talkless of a wife and kids

Before you know it he becomes a narcissistic dad and husband. So you see where the culture
of reproducing unknowingly brings the poverty trap especially when the individual himself is clearly not ready


Nevertheless I'm not against reproducing but if you must don't bring children that will become slaves to your own decisions.

Acidosis:


Exactly, he is not interested in raising kids but hoping to adopt kids later on in the future? How is he going to adopt if everyone decides to not have kids?

The most difficult and strictest country to live in when it comes to child bearing is China. After attaining a population size of 1 billion, China raised a one-child policy. That policy was heavily criticized and after a while, the policy was changed to a two-child system, implying that each households are allowed to raise only two kids whether rich or poor. That's fair enough, you can't place an embargo on child bearing, not even in the most strictest and most populated country in the world.

People die everyday especially in this part of the world (although high death rate isn't even enough reason to birth heavily), so it is just normal to see newborns everyday.

That people die on the roads everyday does not mean we won't travel by roads. If people are dying, it is probably because the roads are bad, vehicles are in bad shape or the drivers are terrible. The society is already too fcked up we can't afford to start seeing Child Bearing/Raising as the cause of our problems.

If you don't have a driver's license, don't drive. If you're not mentally fit to raise a child, don't give birth. Road transportation don't kill people, bad roads and bad drivers do. Child bearing don't make people poor, bad economy, corrupt governments, mental laziness and bad leadership choices do.

Op's choices must be respected but my only concern is that it is not everything you do because you're "completely ready". I will never advise a 30 year old woman to wait and not raise a child until she gets a lot of money, even if it will take her 25 years?

Biology and nature have placed some demands on us, and we are not going to live forever. Truth is this, no one can be 100% ready for anything. A lot of us were enrolled in primary schools without our consents. Why didn't our parents wait to ask whether we were ready before enrolling us in primary schools?? Must every child start school at age 1 or 2?

It's interesting how you identified some of the ills unique to our society yet still go ahead to say people should give birth because biology demands such. While reproduction is one of our attributes as humans, we also crave, not only to exist and reproduce, but to also have a good quality life. The menace in northern Nigeria could be easily traced to the high number of abandoned kids roaming the streets trying to survive. So if you are not capable in any way of caring for your kids why birth them? because biology demands so? why not do yourself,the child and society a favour and not have them?

SAMBARRY:
blame our culture for it. Everyone always wants to show that they have a point to prove and because we live in a society where there is no sustainable social security for the old, we've unconsciously developed a culture of popping out kids for our long term parochial motives eg serving as social security for the parents at old age and also for emotional support and when the kids become adults and face real ife situations,financial breakdown, unemployment etc and are unable to care for their aged parents, na there generational fight go start because of high and unrealistic expectations from the parents

That's when you will hear the parents saying but jide is living in a big flat in Lagos and he refused to send me money for drugs, meanwhile the jide could be squatting WIth friends or hasn't paid house rent so the parents hopes get dashed not knowing he himself hasn't gotten his bearing in life. Then t cycle of poverty, frustration and masochism Creeps in and then the jide vents his anger on his wife and kids because of his lack and the pressure from his parents to Marry and pop kids because he's of age not minding he himself is not financially stable to take care of himself talkless of a wife and kids

Before you know it he becomes a narcissistic dad and husband. So you see where the culture
of reproducing unknowingly brings the poverty trap especially when the individual himself is clearly not ready


Nevertheless I'm not against reproducing but if you must don't bring children that will become slaves to your own decisions.

You, Mr sambarry are highly observant and knowledgeable of the society we live in and are not afraid to put it the way it is. We can see very clearly how the cycle continues. Impressive.

FRoosevelt:
It's interesting how you identified some of the ills unique to our society yet still go ahead to say people should give birth because biology demands such. While reproduction is one of our attributes as humans, we also crave, not only to exist and reproduce, but to also have a good quality life. The menace in northern Nigeria could be easily traced to the high number of abandoned kids roaming the streets trying to survive. So if you are not capable in any way of caring for your kids why birth them? because biology demands so? why not do yourself,the child and society a favour and not have them?

This issue is a complex one bro that's why I'm being careful with my explanations. Instead of addressing reproduction, why don't we address the main issues which are: illiteracy and poverty?

There are certain things we can't control or regulate unless we provide the basics. Saying they should stop popping out kids is like saying they should stop having sex. Can we regulate sex too? Oh yea, stores sell condoms, what if they can't afford it (poverty)? What if condom fails? Oh hospitals provide birth control. What if they don't understand the modalities (illiteracy)? What if there are no health facilities and health workers (bad government policies)? Even among the enlightened and educated, some give birth to kids they didn't plan to have due to failed birth control systems in Nigeria.

I do not support popping out kids in a reckless manner, but truth be told, those that need to abide with this rule can't read all that OP has said.

That being said, I believe nature has placed some demands on us as humans; you can choose to stay uneducated until you attain the age of 50. Child bearing don't work that way because you can't dictate to nature the extent of your fertility. Rich or not, everyone should use their discretion, I don't recommend more than 1 or 2, or at most 3 kids. Life is all about discretions and risks. You raise a child not because you've already saved enough to train him/her all through his/her life, you raise one because you believe you can. Waiting until you get to where you want to be is not a bad idea, just ensure you can afford the world's best fertility doctors.

Acidosis:


This issue is a complex one bro that's why I'm being careful with my explanations. Instead of addressing reproduction, why don't we address the main issues which are: illiteracy and poverty?

There are certain things we can't control or regulate unless we provide the basics. Saying they should stop popping out kids is like saying they should stop having sex. Can we regulate sex too? Oh yea, stores sell condoms, what if they can't afford it (poverty)? What if condom fails? Oh hospitals provide birth control. What if they don't understand the modalities (illiteracy)? What if there are no health facilities and health workers (bad government policies)? Even among the enlightened and educated, some give birth to kids they didn't plan to have due to failed birth control systems in Nigeria.

I do not support popping out kids in a reckless manner, but truth be told, those that need to abide with this rule can't read all that OP has said.

That being said, I believe nature has placed some demands on us as humans; you can choose to stay uneducated until you attain the age of 50. Child bearing don't work that way because you can't dictate to nature the extent of your fertility. Rich or not, everyone should use their discretion, I don't recommend more than 1 or 2, or at most 3 kids. Life is all about discretions and risks. You raise a child not because you've already saved enough to train him/her all through his/her life, you raise one because you believe you can. Waiting until you get to where you want to be is not a bad idea, just ensure you can afford the world's best fertility doctors.

I totally understand your point. What i wrote up there is just an opinion or, if you like, a suggestion to young people in Nigeria, due the odds stacked against us i.e corrupt leaders, poor economy, imploding healthcare etc. If anybody is okay and capable of raising healthy and loving kids then of course they should, if they want to. But if you are struggling, why add more to your burdens and anxiety? I can't even consider it.

Good you are not God to decide who ought to have children and who ought not to.hmmn!indeed the heart of man is desperately wicked.[quote author=FRoosevelt post=67399701] Finally! somebody is reasoning alike.
Kids are cool. The little humans are a joy to behold and it's interesting to watch them grow.
But society shouldn't cringe at those who have decided not to have them.
Not everyone is cut out for that.Most people in this clime don't really know how to, or what it takes, to raise kids. They think they are doing the child a favour by having them!! People who are not ready( financially, emotionally, psychologically and even physically) to have kids but have them anyway, are the ones being selfish and inconsiderate. Just because you have reproductive organs doesn't mean you should use them without thinking.
'Poor people don't deserve kids;[b][

Water101:
Good you are not God to decide who ought to have children and who ought not to.hmmn!indeed the heart of man is desperately wicked.

Really??

FRoosevelt it's way more complicated than you present it do though I get your points. Acidosis made salient points as well. What you think is the problem (Child bearing without thought or consideration) isn't necessarily the problem. Illiteracy (Under-education) is the core of it all. Your perspective is just a reflection of your education and your social class in the society while poverty and bad governments deprive the majority of those (many in the north) the opportunity to be educated; and it's only one who is assured of prospective meals that can be properly educated.

You see money or the world system of finance and it's class structures are heavily skewed. Capitalism with all the good it inspires, creates poverty. Less than 100 people own half the world's wealth. How then can you say the poor don't deserve children, when as animals that we are, our natural proclivities for survival is through reproduction? What then should the billions of poor people across the world do? what else gives them pleasure when everything else comes with a price tag they are unable to afford.

The current adopted system of Money is a concept that was created and thus can be changed but as biological species reproduction cannot be stopped, controlled? Yes. Your perspective would apply in most western countries where most of the wealth of the world reside but here and in 3rd world countries, there was human life way before capitalism and its class expectations.

Sen Ben Bruce once proposed population control for Nigeria in the National Assembly because Nigeria's growth rate is unsustainable (common sense), no surprise the region that opposed vehemently, one's argument: Allah says we should multiply (more like they don't count children, which is in line with many traditions across Africa) and Nigeria can provide. Here again, education and it's lack make people express certain views.

In summary, child bearing isn't the problem and I don't think it can ever be. As long as animals live, there would be eating and sex thus reproduction among other things that define us naturally. The thinking behind having consideration for the offspring's wellbeing and how many one is able to expend on each comes from education which unfortunately the poor cannot afford and sadly the chief beneficiaries of standard free education in Nigeria continue to deprive people of.

And as I once heard Pat Utomi say "Population is not a curse, it's a resource. Use it."

People should not have children in third world country oga op easy now.Last time i check even during slavery in egypt despite hard labour the isrealite were multipling greatly,pharoh fear fear and ordered the killing of male babies.here u are talking of third world wateva!Oya order the pe-nis of every poor person to be cut because even d birthcontrol of a thing fails,am a living example,in addition what of catholics dat don't belive in the use of contraceptives.4rm wat am seeing u want people to cut off their 'things' or Abort.fear God nah abi wetin nah.

TheEminentLaity:
FRoosevelt it's way more complicated than you present it do though I get your points. Acidosis made salient points as well. What you think is the problem (Child bearing without thought or consideration) isn't necessarily the problem. Illiteracy (Under-education) is the core of it all. Your perspective is just a reflection of your education and your social class in the society while poverty and bad governments deprive the majority of those (many in the north) the opportunity to be educated; and it's only one who is assured of prospective meals that can be properly educated.

You see money or the world system of finance and it's class structures are heavily skewed. Capitalism with all the good it inspires, creates poverty. Less than 100 people own half the world's wealth. How then can you say the poor don't deserve children, when as animals that we are, our natural proclivities for survival is through reproduction? What then should the billions of poor people across the world do? what else gives them pleasure when everything else comes with a price tag they are unable to afford.

The current adopted system of Money is a concept that was created and thus can be changed but as biological species reproduction cannot be stopped, controlled? Yes. Your perspective would apply in most western countries where most of the wealth of the world reside but here and in 3rd world countries, there was human life way before capitalism and its class expectations.

Sen Ben Bruce once proposed population control for Nigeria in the National Assembly because Nigeria's growth rate is unsustainable (common sense), no surprise the region that opposed vehemently, one's argument: Allah says we should multiply (more like they don't count children, which is in line with many traditions across Africa) and Nigeria can provide. Here again, education and it's lack make people express certain views.

In summary, child bearing isn't the problem and I don't think it can ever be. As long as animals live, there would be eating and sex thus reproduction among other things that define us naturally. The thinking behind having consideration for the offspring's wellbeing and how many one is able to expend on each comes from education which unfortunately the poor cannot afford and sadly the chief beneficiaries of standard free education in Nigeria continue to deprive people of.

And as I once heard Pat Utomi say "Population is not a curse, it's a resource. Use it."

I appreciate your contribution. I'll reply based on the area you are stressing on, which i guess, is population.
Yes, high population, consisting of young and vibrant age range as we have in Nigeria, is proposed to be economically advantageous in a situation whereby the government invest in human capital. Bill Gates on his last visit to the country strongly advocated this.
Sadly, there is no such effort or motivation by the government in implementing projects enhancing human capital development. It is only reasonable that measures aimed at population control are being propagated and encouraged worldwide, considering the negative imbalance in the ratio of population to available resources.
The world's population has been projected by the UN to reach 9.7 billion by 2050 with Africa responsible for 60% of that rise.
Such increase in population, combined with imploding economy and corrupt leadership, can only point to one end- doom.
Decades ago, when the economy was better, people were able to afford homes, cars, and could raise as many kids on what is now, minimum wage.
This shows an enormous decline in the economy today.
With these points, i think it is wise, to adjust our needs and demands to fit the status quo.
I am not stupid enough to say everybody shouldn't have kids, but the original post was a suggestion for young people to consider ;which i think could help them take reasonable decisions to avoid poverty, anxiety,depression and social vices like robbery, fraud etc which might stem from the responsibilities of raising kids and not being able to do so.

Touchme222:
People should not have children in third world country oga op easy now.Last time i check even during slavery in egypt despite hard labour the isrealite were multipling greatly,pharoh fear fear and ordered the killing of male babies.here u are talking of third world wateva!Oya order the pe-nis of every poor person to be cut because even d birthcontrol of a thing fails,am a living example,in addition what of catholics dat don't belive in the use of contraceptives.4rm wat am seeing u want people to cut off their 'things' or Abort.fear God nah abi wetin nah.

Madam no b quarrel abeg. Maybe my original post was extreme, but if you read through my replies to other commenters, you might understand my reasons.
Plus, i no want cut anybody tin oo but i for like make we use am more for enjoyment rather than to manufacture plenty pikins wey we no fit care for.
Abi how you take reason am??

Do not forget d part i said birthcontrol fails. what can be done about dat if not abortion.

FRoosevelt:
Madam no b quarrel abeg. Maybe my original post was extreme, but if you read through my replies to other commenters, you might understand my reasons.
Plus, i no want cut anybody tin oo but i for like make we use am more for enjoyment rather than to manufacture plenty pikins wey we no fit care for.
Abi how you take reason am??

FRoosevelt:
Madam no b quarrel abeg. Maybe my original post was extreme, but if you read through my replies to other commenters, you might understand my reasons.
Plus, i no want cut anybody tin oo but i for like make we use am more for enjoyment rather than to manufacture plenty pikins wey we no fit care for.
Abi how you take reason am??

what can be done if not abortion

some faith also don't permit contraceptive [quote author=FRoosevelt post=67500679] Madam no b quarrel abeg. Maybe my original

Touchme222:
Do not forget d part i said birthcontrol fails. what can be done about dat if not abortion.some faith also don't permit contraceptive

There are various birth control methods that are totally effective e.g copper implants and vasectomy.You can try those. What method did you use??

FRoosevelt:
I am not gonna have kids. Not a chance.
Why bring a child into this fvcked up world? Worse still, into a shitty third world African country. God forbids the child falls sick and needs emergency medicare, then you would realise you are fvcked no matter how rich you are.(except if you have a clinic in your home..good luck with that)
Also, with this shitty economy how would you afford a child? Mehn...raising a child up to 18 years or even 22 as is common around here is damn expensive. Well, except if you are gonna use them for child labour as i see often around here. Pathetic.
Next point. Time. I barely have enough time for myself. How do i make out time to be with a kid.
Parenting: I don't just have that 'dad' instincts. I'd do a bad job at that. I'm sorry.
I need to do what makes me happy in this one, wild and crazy life. Travel to many countries, meet different people, help the less privilege, have a whole lotta fun. Kids are gonna get in the way of all these, so NO, no kids.
To all you people popping or intending to pop out kids just remember...the burgeoning population is a nuisance to available resources and also detrimental to survival of existing humans.
Also, all you ignorant people who pop out kids without being responsible for them. You are contributing to menace in society from terrorists to armed robbers and kidnappers. Be warned. Get a birth control method or tie your damn tubes. Those kids you're bringing into the world to suffer will rise against you. They didn't ask for you to birth them.

I wish this message can be preserved and read back to you in your old age

greyham:


I wish this message can be preserved and read back to you in your old age

You think I'll regret my decision? No way. But why would you even think that?

FRoosevelt:
I am not gonna have kids. Not a chance.
Why bring a child into this fvcked up world? Worse still, into a shitty third world African country. God forbids the child falls sick and needs emergency medicare, then you would realise you are fvcked no matter how rich you are.(except if you have a clinic in your home..good luck with that)
Also, with this shitty economy how would you afford a child? Mehn...raising a child up to 18 years or even 22 as is common around here is damn expensive. Well, except if you are gonna use them for child labour as i see often around here. Pathetic.
Next point. Time. I barely have enough time for myself. How do i make out time to be with a kid.
Parenting: I don't just have that 'dad' instincts. I'd do a bad job at that. I'm sorry.
I need to do what makes me happy in this one, wild and crazy life. Travel to many countries, meet different people, help the less privilege, have a whole lotta fun. Kids are gonna get in the way of all these, so NO, no kids.
To all you people popping or intending to pop out kids just remember...the burgeoning population is a nuisance to available resources and also detrimental to survival of existing humans.
Also, all you ignorant people who pop out kids without being responsible for them. You are contributing to menace in society from terrorists to armed robbers and kidnappers. Be warned. Get a birth control method or tie your damn tubes. Those kids you're bringing into the world to suffer will rise against you. They didn't ask for you to birth them.

At last someone else who has similar thoughts as mine. Do you also think it's totally selfish that people have kids just so they can have who would take care of them in their old age?

evilgenie:


At last someone else who has similar thoughts as mine. Do you also think it's totally selfish that people have kids just so they can have who would take care of them in their old age?

If you're going to have kids so they could care for your geriatric needs then you should make sure to train them right.
Give them good parenting to build them up to be better people with time. Then pray they'd care for you when you're old because realistically, nothing guarantees that.
Though it's likely to be, if you've enforced and inculcated into them strong family values and sense of responsibility by being an excellent example to which they emulate.
Kids who are raised in disturbing conditions can't enjoy this.

On the other hand, preferable by me, I'd like to make enough money and gather enough resources for myself so I can retire and enjoy my wealth till the day I die, instead of placing my hope on a kid who is not obligated by any legal injunction to care for me.

Also, wouldn't you like to buy your kid a new car on their 50th birthday if you're still lucky to be around? That's fulfilling, and an affirmation of your status as their earthly God till the day you cease to breathe. Your grandkids would be extremely proud to have a rich grandpa who they go to for cool treats, not some scrawny poor man living in a shack in a remote village whom dad complains about his ceaseless demands for money and food ( This paragraph's for those who fancy kids though)

chivera018:
OP, we know you are sterile, keep comforting yourself with your sermons.

It has got nothing to do with sterility, it's just common sense. We are just too much in this Godforsaken shithole of a country..overly dense population with little or no infrastructure to go around.. It's 6:30am, and I'm struck in an unending queue, so long, I had wonder where they spur out from. Just crazy!

FRoosevelt:
If you're going to have kids so they could care for your geriatric needs then you should make sure to train them right.
Give them good parenting to build them up to be better people with time. Then pray they'd care for you when you're old because realistically, nothing guarantees that.
Though it's likely to be, if you've enforced and inculcated into them strong family values and sense of responsibility by being an excellent example to which they emulate.
Kids who are raised in disturbing conditions can't enjoy this.

On the other hand, preferable by me, I'd like to make enough money and gather enough resources for myself so I can retire and enjoy my wealth till the day I die, instead of placing my hope on a kid who is not obligated by any legal injunction to care for me.

Also, wouldn't you like to buy your kid a new car on their 50th birthday if you're still lucky to be around? That's fulfilling, and an affirmation of your status as their earthly God till the day you cease to breathe. Your grandkids would be extremely proud to have a rich grandpa who they go to for cool treats, not some scrawny poor man living in a shack in a remote village whom dad complains about his ceaseless demands for money and food ( This paragraph's for those who fancy kids though)

Hmmm. Me and you reason so much alike.

Raalsalghul:
Hmmm. Me and you reason so much alike.

Some people are changed completely when they have kids especially the ones who never wanted them.

Don't completely shut the possibility out.

Children are big responsibilities. My daughter would scatter, demand attention and drain me at times. But when she is off to creche, i miss her. I hardly ever wait for the creche to close before i go get her if i am available. Lol

Richy4:
I just hope when u clock 50, u won't go looking for cats to adopt...

There is no where in the world that is ok..it's not even easy in developed world..

Just that some country's administration is better than others.. that's why it looks as if they were comfortable..

Do you prefer to be in oyibo's shoes where u got paid $6000 a month, in that salary, u pay mortgage, car insurance, funeral insurance, car loan, student loans pay grocery.. by the time u look back, u got $350 left..

Yes i absolutely prefer it to anything

ImaIma1:
Some people are changed completely when they have kids especially the ones who never wanted them.

Don't completely shut the possibility out.

Children are big responsibilities. My daughter would scatter, demand attention and drain me at times. But when she is off to creche, i miss her. I hardly ever wait for the creche to close before i go get her if i am available. Lol

Everybody can't be the same...... Nigeria is not a healthy clime to raise children.

Raalsalghul:
Hmmm. Bro. I might not agree with all what you said, but I agree with like 80%. In case you know know them don open thread on top your matter. Quote with your phone number make I recharge 500 naira airtime for you to get small data. We need more posts like this. Waiting...
(Quote) (Report) (Like) (Share) .

.

Lalasticala just had one. Probably he will have something to say.

calliope:

It has got nothing to do with sterility, it's just common sense. We are just too much in this Godforsaken shithole of a country..overly dense population with little or no infrastructure to go around.. It's 6:30am, and I'm struck in an unending queue, so long, I had wonder where they spur out from. Just crazy!

God bless u
Wish everyone could reason same way like u.
Naija would be a better place.
There is nothing u will do in this country that u wont meet crowd or queue...Child control is extremely important now...

SAMBARRY:
blame our culture for it. Everyone always wants to show that they have a point to prove and because we live in a society where there is no sustainable social security for the old, we've unconsciously developed a culture of popping out kids for our long term parochial motives eg serving as social security for the parents at old age and also for emotional support and when the kids become adults and face real ife situations,financial breakdown, unemployment etc and are unable to care for their aged parents, na there generational fight go start because of high and unrealistic expectations from the parents

That's when you will hear the parents saying but jide is living in a big flat in Lagos and he refused to send me money for drugs, meanwhile the jide could be squatting WIth friends or hasn't paid house rent so the parents hopes get dashed not knowing he himself hasn't gotten his bearing in life. Then t cycle of poverty, frustration and masochism Creeps in and then the jide vents his anger on his wife and kids because of his lack and the pressure from his parents to Marry and pop kids because he's of age not minding he himself is not financially stable to take care of himself talkless of a wife and kids

Before you know it he becomes a narcissistic dad and husband. So you see where the culture
of reproducing unknowingly brings the poverty trap especially when the individual himself is clearly not ready


Nevertheless I'm not against reproducing but if you must don't bring children that will become slaves to your own decisions.

Never knew u were this sensible

Rubbiish:

Never knew u were this sensible

I don't expect anything reasonable from a rubbish