Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance - Romance - Nairaland
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| Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by kunleajayi: 4:32pm On May 17, 2018 |
I'm 35 years old, my wife is 29. We have been together for about 6 years now and have two kids. Not long after our second baby, it became apparent that she stopped caring about her appearance. She's gained a lot of weight, and her dressing became sloppy. She will wear clothes that don't fit, not wear makeup, and now locks her hair, calling it "team natural". I don't expect a trophy wife but I do have some concern for her beauty and how she looks. When i met her she was a svelte, and chick lady. I'm afraid I'm no longer attracted to her physically. Though I've added some weight myself, I do go to the gym and care how I look. I've told her how i felt, not so much about her weight but about her appearance in general. I think she would have better chances at career mobility if she would dress for success. If she wears jeans that show her butt crack when she sits down, somehow i'm the arsehole for pointing it out, even though people are pointing and laughing. I've offered to help in any way i can, this including exercise together, or share a healthy diet, so it's something we can experience as a couple. Money for new clothes is no problem. She just doesn't care. Aside from the weight gain, when she occasionally takes a few minutes to put on makeup, do her hair, and wear proper clothes, she looks great and I always make a note to compliment her. Other than this we have a pretty great relationship, no major issues that can't be resolved. I'm just at my wit's end here, and there is nothing i can say or try to hint at that seems to make her consider my feelings enough to make a change. Each time I complain, she'll be like "I'm not trying to look beautiful for someone else". Any advice would be appreciated, thanks. 1 Like 2 Shares |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Abbeyme: 4:39pm On May 17, 2018 |
hmmm. Let me read what other people would say.. I'll summarize. |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Nobody: 4:40pm On May 17, 2018 |
Her aim was just to be a married woman and she achieved it. Thats what they do...when in search of hubby, they dress to kill including those age 30+ ladies, behave like an angel, like someone who would do anything to be a husband pleaser but when they shook head inside finish, to see them control na wahala till d matter reach 3rd party or threat to lose her marriage ensues. Frankly before women fully understand why they are women, using thier man as self mirror, they would be approaching 40, without a man, it would be worse. Brother be stern in telling her ur mind. If she refuses to adjust, tell someone close to her. What you dont like you dont like. Else, those other things that are okay btwn you two, may start turning sour. That's what I would decisively do. I have one girl I can dash u sha o...looking fit. 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by SenhorSean(m): 4:44pm On May 17, 2018 |
i need to read it all again...brb |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by sammysammy111(m): 4:49pm On May 17, 2018 |
My bro, u no get any excuse, if at all u wedded her in church, I believe d pastor would have told u, its for better for worst, am sensing der is dis new chick, confusing u, and ...... My bro, take her shopping, take her to d saloon, buy her dos tins u want her to use, she will shine for u No let all dos gals outside scatter ur home 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Josh64(m): 4:55pm On May 17, 2018 |
She is 29 and already losing shape? First, you need to sit her down and have a good heart to heart; couples don't tend to do that these days. First, you need to know how she feels about herself. Does she have a high self worth, or a low one? A low self worth can cause this and I cannot make any assumptions since I don't know how she spends her day and finances and kids and all that, but, a good wife still finds time to look good for her husband no matter and you should be able to get her to do some exercises at least and watch her diet. Now, you should show some love when you bring this issue up and let her know how much you love and appreciate her, but as a man, you have certain needs and she simply isn't meeting them physically. Now this could turn ugly real fast depending on her temperament but it should bring her own feelings to the fore and you can work together on this when things calm down. And she tells you she aint trying to look beautiful for someone else? How bou looking beautiful for you. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by donstan18: 4:59pm On May 17, 2018 |
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| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by mrphysics(m): 5:00pm On May 17, 2018 |
 I am so sorry that you are just getting to know this. The goal is just to get married and enjoy life afterwards. After marriage, most ladies lead a careless appearance life. All that they are interested in is the Mrs title, once gotten, then there's no campaign after election is over and won. If I were you, I will always buy her a ticket to the cinema, fill in into any seminar holding anywhere, and have her go take a look at how ladies slay and dress. Secondly, ensure you get her sexy cloths and ban the use of wrapper in your house. Mrphysics writes from Zango Kataf 6 Likes |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Oreofepeters: 5:28pm On May 17, 2018 |
This is why some men cheat, when the woman you marry is no longer attracted to you . But the fault comes from women, the feeling of I am now a mother after giving birth to one or two children . And for that reason you careless about your dressing is never worth it. While you were searching for Mr Right you lwere sexy but now married you looked shabby. Bro talk to her ears, tell her you are more concerned about her dressing that failure to adjust may prompt you to looking ouside. 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Nobody: 5:43pm On May 17, 2018 |
| hm |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by CAPSLOCKED: 6:19pm On May 17, 2018 |
kunleajayi: CHEAT AND BE HAPPY. THANKS.  1 Like |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Cutehector(m): 6:24pm On May 17, 2018 |
My brother.. Please buy your wife new clothes. Buy her short skirts. 2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Safiaa(f): 6:32pm On May 17, 2018 |
You can’t force anyone to do what they don’t want to do. You’ve told her and that’s all you can do. Do you want to force the makeup and clothes on her head. I honestly think its when you start eyeing other women, her own eyes will open. Sometimes you just have to learn the hard way. |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Apina(m): 6:32pm On May 17, 2018 |
Do something fast o cos the next thing we would hear is how u could not resist one of ur colleagues at work. If possible get angry with her about it so that she sees how big a deal it is. The question is, would she allow herself get fat at 29 if she was still single?  |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by YoungDaNaval(m): 6:33pm On May 17, 2018 |
divorce her asap! 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by nikkypearl(f): 6:34pm On May 17, 2018 |
YoungDaNaval:you well so ? 3 Likes |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by YoungDaNaval(m): 6:37pm On May 17, 2018 |
nikkypearl:Am entitled to ma opinion |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Rosay15(f): 6:37pm On May 17, 2018 |
YoungDaNaval:u bad ohhh |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by nikkypearl(f): 6:42pm On May 17, 2018 |
YoungDaNaval:no you are not  1 Like |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by forzarush(f): 8:45pm On May 17, 2018 |
Sorry but Safiaa are you married? You need to wear the shoes to know where it pinches rather than judge based on assumption. A lot of things factor into the equation. It may be that the lady in question is depressed, depression has a range. It's not easy looking after the home and family and if one isn't careful, you'll put yourself on the back burner or totally burnout. You CHOSE each other out of a multitude, try to create the right atmosphere and get her to open up to you,lighten her chores by helping out occasionally, remind her of things she used to do and the resulting results, let her know you are willing to help and remind her you love her. 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Safiaa(f): 8:48pm On May 17, 2018 |
forzarush:Totally get you. But I’m simply judging based on his story, and they’re two sides. So until I hear her side I can only judge from what he’s told us. That’s why I said what I said. I totally understand where you’re coming from sister, you’ve decide to look beyond what he’s said, which is fine. |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Ivorianaija(f): 8:51pm On May 17, 2018 |
And you yourself have you been keeping up your own appearance? Empty ocean calling melted ice dry. |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by kunleajayi: 9:17pm On May 19, 2018 |
Ivorianaija: If you don't have anything sensible to contribute, can you kindly zip your pie-hole? forzarush: She is not depressed. I know that for a fact. I do help her as much as I can in regards to the homekeep. Cutehector: I do. Most of the times i give her money to buy clothes, she rather spends it on something else. And if at all she does buy clothes, she gets these drab attire that're not appealing. Lke she just buys them to justify my giving her the money. |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by SoapQueen(f): 9:49pm On May 19, 2018 |
Her lack of proper care for her appearance will transmit into your disappearance. |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by pocohantas(f): 9:52pm On May 19, 2018 |
I remember there was a similar thread, though the complainant was a woman. A quick search on Google and I got it. https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.nairaland.com/3561261/husband-dresses-like-old-man&sa=U&ved=0ahUKEwjL1qGl05LbAhUMvxQKHb7tBw8QFggQMAI&usg=AOvVaw2_HtMLVx1m7lcKkbL9gujL Now, compare the practical comments on that thread with the diatribes up there. You would see why you should keep some marital issues off the current NL audience... or this section at least  By the way, are you this same poster? https://www.nairaland.com/4270193/marriage-finally-ended |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Nobody: 10:18pm On May 19, 2018 |
Maybe her self esteem took a hit after the second baby. Or it could be that she feels that now she is taking care of the family, taking care of herself is not a priority. You could try a couple of things if you have not already.. Create a reason for you two to go somewhere that requires her to look nice Take her shopping yourself, ask her to try some things on for you. She will probably resist at first.insist (nicely) and make it a fun experience. She will see how excited you are in her which will probably lift her self esteem. Steer her toward women's opinion she trusts. You are probably not the only person who has noticed. Finally, as someone else has said, there may be a chance of clinical depression. Depression can manifest in different ways. Loss of interest in activities and interests is a sign of depression I am glad you are not giving up on her. |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by kunleajayi: 1:52am On May 20, 2018 |
pocohantas: No I'm not the same poster. We just have similar monikers, now that I see it. |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by Kobicove(m): 4:09am On May 20, 2018 |
Maybe you wife needs a little competition to jolt her It's obvious that she has become too comfortable and is taking things for granted |
| Re: Wife Doesn't Seem To Care About Her Appearance by kunleajayi: 2:53pm On May 22, 2018 |
Kobicove: Yeah I believe she is too comfortable but I'm not one to cheat on my wife. |
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