oyinda.:

ok. i think we are on the same page now  

i'm curious what your stance on polygamy is? are you christian?
personally, i think it's sexist. that's the only problem i have with it beside it being against the bible.

Glad to know that we are on the same page now.

Yeah, I am a christian. Became a christian by birth, glad it happened that way as I could have been a muslim if I had been born say in Iraq, Iran or Saudi Arabia.

Like you, bible is what christians rely on even though to a varying degree of understanding and application.

If you forget about the bible for a minute then polygamy seems unfair to women and should be both ways. However, do not forget the fact that many laws that seem to put the women at a disadvantage were actually put in place by men for their own selfish interests.

I believe though that women would have done the same if they had the powers to make laws that would guide people and nations. Who knows, maybe by now men would have been responsible for cooking, changing diapers, taking care of the home while the women are allowed to run around town in the name of providing for the family.

Before women liberation groups start attacking me the last paragraph was on a lighter note and does not imply that the place of the woman is in the kitchen even though it would make a lot of sense if that was the case, at least trips to Mr Biggs and co would reduce drastically.

@stillwater,

No comments. You don't deserve any.

Afam:


I believe though that women would have done the same if they had the powers to make laws that would guide people and nations. Who knows, maybe by now men would have been responsible for cooking, changing diapers, taking care of the home while the women are allowed to run around town in the name of providing for the family.

so are you saying that it's ok for men to be sexist because women would do the same if they were in control?
do you believe in gender equality?

they just grew apart. better than pretending as they do it in naija

a woman can say you know honey, am bored and tired of this marriage and hubby will gladly agree with her. in naija, na heavy slap and beating with coal you go get, (that oba style)

hes worth between 100 million to 200 million.

oyinda.:

-at 60-70 men may have more libido for intimacy but i doubt it is as high as u are trying to imply.
 and besides typically, men who carry on these behaviors are usually way younger than 60.

-I don't know where you live, but where I live, there are things called condoms, birth control pills, nuva rings etc that prevents pregnancy!!

- depends on how and where u are raised. in a less sexist country like America, many women tell men they need to have intimacy. the women are looser. In naija (and many muslim countries) women are called sluts if they say that.



- what do u mean "taken off" both men and women are materialistic. just that culture dictates what they are materialistic about. ex cars and houses for men, clothes, jewelries for women etc.

you answered this to paint it
- why using condom, assuming not for diseases, whynot continuing screwing at same rate with men and have the pregancies(nurse the effect of your actions)
-women are materialistic, i am talking from African point of view at whose bills, if tomorow your birthday d man say he want to f.uck instead of flowers, you will whine
- what again do you have to offer to your husband apart from your womanliness,

chiozor:

you answered this to paint it
- why using condom, assuming not for diseases, whynot continuing screwing at same rate with men and have the pregancies(nurse the effect of your actions)
-women are materialistic, i am talking from African point of view at whose bills, if tomorow your birthday d man say he want to bleed instead of flowers, you will whine
- what again do you have to offer to your husband apart from your womanliness,

Only morons generalize in the manner which you continue to.

oyinda.:


so are you saying that it's ok for men to be sexist because women would do the same if they were in control?
do you believe in gender equality?

This is how I deal with issues.

1. I change what I can change

2. I influence what I can influence

3. I learn to live with what I cannot do anything about.

So, whether I am a sexist as you put it or not will not have any bearing to the issue. I already stated it should be both ways and not one sided earlier.

Kobojunkie:

I disagree with that.
Please . . . you assume there that people even considered their marriage a model of some sort.

How many times have I heard the statement 'after all, so, so & so persons did it'. Please there are people of influence.

Kobojunkie:


My Gosh!!! In this day and age, how many people actually marry for the second reason?

Please think/look outside of the west, a large population of the world are still religious.

OAM4J:

How many times have I heard the statement 'after all, so, so & so persons did it'. Please there are people of influence.

Your statement there assumes a lot of people care about such . .  believe you me, here in America, most people don't care about modeling their marriages and beliefs after those of people you see in magazines. Even Brittany spears fans will tell you that when it comes to relationships, she is an idiot. So why would they want to imitate her in that? I personally don't know anyone who goes around saying Al gore ended his marriage so I will too. Definitely, there are the idiots out there, and there will always be those, but I believe that most people just go "What a pity?" and move on.

OAM4J:

Please think/look outside of the west, a large population of the world are still religious.

Religious in what sense? Are we not speaking of some of the most brutal people on the planet as well? Take Nigeria for instance. That country is considered the most "RELIGIOUS" country on the planet, yet when you compile the atrocities committed by Nigerians against their fellow Nigerians, not even consider that done by those in Government against the people, you seriously wonder what exactly being the most religious really means.

There has been seriously high rate of divorce, in Nigeria, since I was a kid. Most all my neighbors were either on their second wives or husband. I mean it was sort of very easy since the one only had to walk out of her first husband and then on the second. The other man just brought in a second wife and allowed his first to continue to come see the kids when she could. The family on the other side of our wall was dealing with a father who was making serious plans to leave his wife for a younger woman and we had to deal with their frequent quarrels from over the fence.

I am sorry but that the west is honest about the problem does not mean it is WORSE in the west. It is just as bad in places like Nigeria, and other religious parts of the world. Only it is mostly shoved under the carpet and never really recorded in most cases.

Look around you in Nigeria for instance, aren't the people just as promiscuous as you would find in most western states? I remember watching a news report on Haiti that not only shamed me but made me realize that we are unwilling to deal with our problems as a people.  Even after the disaster, the rate of despoils has continued to rise. With most people living in open spaces and tents, the men in the area have taken it on themselves to satisfy their urges freely. The one man that was interviewed admitted that the society does not seem to frown as much to such levels of promiscuity and so it is no surprise that even in this disaster, so many are taken advantage. 



http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/01/19/haiti.tent.cities/index.html - after the earthquake
http://www.amnestyusa.org/document.php?id=ENGUSA20081201001  - from before the earthquake

I happen to be a religious person myself, and believe in the biblical take on marriage( was not born a Christian), but I believe that religion itself is not meant to MAKE people do things. Self control, and respect for human kind, born out of beliefs which could be religious, do that. Pastors who divorce willy-nilly or involve themselves in infidelity of any kind probably do not even believe what they preach enough to practice it. Many probably have not enough self-control to do so.

Let us please stop this THE WEST vs AFRICA crap when it comes to issues such as these. There are many similar examples right there in Nigeria. Only that most are under covers and not much recorded on them. I live in the west and nothing about the west stops me, or anyone from practising self control.

african tradition ko, iranian tradition ni. the day america adopts that backward sexist practice called polygamy will be the day the world comes to an end.

i see nothing wrong in polyandry or polygamy if all parties consent to it.   

heck there are polygamous mormons in utah.

@stillwater,

No comments. You don't deserve any.

Whatever. If you cannot cage that animal in your trousers, let's call a spade a spade you lack self-discipline and control.
It seems it's now African to lack these good, benefiting attributes in the name of tradition or not to act holier than thou .

Stillwater,

Me and you wont need to separate abi?

you guys should read this article.

personally, in my opinion, infidelity/ sleeping around is a cultural trait not a biological one.

Not true. Men want to have s=e=x like all the time. Thats what we are thinking about while we are at school, at work, asleep, and doing any other activity. When you marry someone that is not appealing you look for something else. Its quite biologically for us to want to spread our DNA. Now your culture could make it a taboo to commit adultery and you might be scared. But all things considered, most men lust for nubile flesh. Women too do, but the opportunities for them to pursue it are quite limited.

bawomolo:

i see nothing wrong in polyandry or polygamy if all parties consent to it.   

heck there are polygamous mormons in utah.

yes, they are. But I think the problem with legalizing polygamy is not based on the fact that there could be consenting adults, but the severe side effects that could come from such legalization. Leave the legal aspects aside, polygamycan be detrimental based on two fronts (1) The idea of "consent, and (2) it contributes to child abuse and denigration of womanhood which could set back any gains made to improving the rights of women in developed societies

In the first instance, I posted an example of the Deji of Akure punishing his wife for refusing to consent to polygamy. Using this as a case, we can see how difficult it would be for women from cultures which affirm "polygamy" to be involved in any form of consent. How many women can stand up to there husbands and refuse polygamy, in African cultures? You are asking too much in reference to "consenting parties." Its even more glaring that in Nigeria, polygamy is only common across certain class. Now, it would be hard to find a financially independent woman, who would engage in a polygamous union except she is looking for a husband.

The second case, is quite obvious. You gave an example of mormons- however historical accounts of women who engaged in mormon polygamy have shown that several instances of violence against the women and most importantly children. A quick skim of US polygamy cases and you would notice one patten- all the mormon cases have involved significant child abuse. Further only fundamentalist mormons engage in polygamy. Not all mormons do. I would not go further into this case because I still feel it requires no added support and it is intellectually intuitive

SEFAGO:

Not true. Men want to have s=e=x like all the time. Thats what we are thinking about while we are at school, at work, asleep, and doing any other activity. When you marry someone that is not appealing you look for something else. Its quite biologically for us to want to spread our DNA. Now your culture could make it a taboo to commit adultery and you might be scared. But all things considered, most men lust for nubile flesh. Women too do, but the opportunities for them to pursue it are quite limited.

Actually, women also want to have intimacy too . . . the voracious urge is not limited to men. Only that intimacy is COSTLIER for woman than it is for men, and that is why women tend to exercise more self control than men when it comes to exploring those desires.

The marrying someone not appealing point also applies to women. It has been found that woman cheat just as much as men do, only women tend to do a better job hiding theirs from their spouses. But yes, women also think about intimacy, some all the times. Just as is the case with some men.

Like someone already posited, it is all about a persons level of self control, and respect, especially for the other partner in the relationship.

Actually, women also want to have intimacy too . . . the voracious urge is not limited to men. Only that intimacy is COSTLIER for woman than it is for men, and that is why women tend to exercise more self control than men when it comes to exploring those desires.

elaborate on the word costlier. Do you mean in Nigeria? Because in the US women are really promiscuous you know. Infact I met one girl told me that she is Hot all the time, and that anytime she feels like it she goes to a club and finds a guy to 


Women cheat, but thats in there younger days. When they reach a certain age, no sensible man would screw them.

tick-tock for awon girls

bawomolo:

i see nothing wrong in polyandry or polygamy if all parties consent to it.   

heck there are polygamous mormons in utah.

But of course. Sebi na u

SEFAGO:

elaborate on the word costlier. Do you mean in Nigeria? Because in the US women are really promiscuous you know. Infact I met one girl told me that she is Hot all the time, and that anytime she feels like it she goes to a club and finds a guy to 

Costlier in the sense that women can get pregnant and burdened with child rearing and the effects of that on their bodies. But development has enabled women by providing options for them to escape SOME of these consequences and so we see more and more women taking chances and exploring just as their male counterparts have been able to for centuries.

Women in both Nigeria are just as promiscuous as those in the US. I am not sure how you can state those in the US are more promiscuous if you have really been around in Nigeria. Take a survey on here and you are likely to learn to most guys who go back to Nigeria get to 'hit some', not love-peddlers, when they are there.

A gal telling you of how Hot she was all the time does not necessarily mean she is telling the truth. I know this to be the case with some of the gals and guys I have had to hang out with here. I even had a friend, male and Nigerian who was rumored to have AIDS because the perception was that he was a, for lack of a better word "MALE LovePeddler". Problem with that was this dude was my roommate and barely ever left the house, except when heading out to school or the stores(he was jobless for a couple of years but his mum helped him pay his part of the rent during that time). He actually encouraged the label for his ego I believe.

SEFAGO:

Women cheat, but thats in there younger days. When they reach a certain age, no sensible man would screw them.
tick-tock for awon girls

That is not true. I am not sure you know much about women then, for you to make the statement above. Who do you think the So-yo-yo's of yesteryears used to hang with? TREES? Many have young boy toys and some even have older men for sugar daddies.

stillwater:

Whatever. If you cannot cage that animal in your trousers, let's call a spade a spade you lack self-discipline and control.
It seems it's now African to lack these good, benefiting attributes in the name of tradition or not to act holier than thou .

People that say what you say are usually very loose and would sleep with any man any day, so no need trying to make yourself appear decent at all. It's not working.

Nothing wrong with PDA at that age. If I'm in public and Hot, hellz yes, I'll grab him by the neck and kiss the daylight out of my husband. Even at age 90

you're free to do that, but dont take offence when others walk out to avoid being subjected to any further viewings.

Infact I met one girl told me that she is Hot all the time

it's called nymphomania, and these days there's another medical condition where a woman is permanently o.rgasmic.

doesnt make it normal.

_{see as them change o.rgasmic to glorious}

many [not all] men want to have s=e=x like all the  time

fixed.

btw, it's called s.ex addiction. Many of you dont realize this.

But all things considered, most men lust for nubile flesh. Women too do, but the opportunities for them to pursue it are quite limited.

you really believe this crap?

you're free to do that, but dont take offence when others walk out to avoid being subjected to any further viewings.

Lol, but of course. i should expect that. Every action begets a rxn.

you really believe this crap?

Yes I do. You women just like to delude yourself. A lot.



Please dont start bring examples of cougars, sugar mummy e.t.c

If you think older women would be able to attract good-looking young men even with money- when you could find an equally pretty young girl with money- then you must be on some good weed

^^are you really this deluded?

speak for yourself when you talk, plz.


you seem to be on some kind of high.

i shouldnt mention cougars- then where did the term cougar come from?   Wasnt it from observing older women with younger men?

and what on earth is scaring the pants off you over this matter?

a lot of men are even swearing off women regardless of age and going gay, yet you're still here spouting all sorts?

i bow for you oh!

ask tyra banks how many "nubile" young girls [b]intentionally [/b]paraded n.aked in front of that cute latinoid guy on her show. Any effect as of now? No.

SEFAGO:

Yes I do. You women just like to delude yourself. A lot.

;DPlease dont start bring examples of cougars, sugar mummy e.t.c
If you think older women would be able to attract good-looking young men even with money- when you could find an equally pretty young girl with money- then you must be on some good weed

WOW!!! you really WANT TO, and probably NEED TO CONTINUE living in denial there, don't you? ROFLMAO!!!

Are you kidding us with that bunk you have up there?? lol

A TV show is now Tpia's idea of evidence

Kobojunkie:

WOW!!! you really WANT TO, and probably NEED TO CONTINUE living in denial there, don't you? ROFLMAO!!!

Are you kidding us with that bunk you have up there?? lol

Not really, its just obvious knowledge that when you guys reach menopause- and judging by your responses you have prolly passed it- you guys have better learn how to use your hands very well because those nights are going to be lonely

LOL THIS PIC IS FUNNY AS SHIOT- I always click on it to laugh.

SEFAGO:

A TV show is now Tpia's idea of evidence

Not really, its just obvious knowledge that when you guys reach menopause- and judging by your responses you have prolly passed it- you guys have better learn how to use your hands very well because those nights are going to be lonely

Ok . . . you do realize that you are not basing your argument on scientific fact here, right? Ofcourse as both sexes age, the sexual urge decreases in both. But I hate to burst your bubble there, that does not mean that they loose the desire completely. Do you remember only a couple of months back there were reports that the rate of AIDS was increasing in the retired community? Male and female contraction rates was on increase because with introduction of viagra(used by men mostly), there seemed it was also necessary to educate our aging communities both males and females on condoms.

http://www.newswise.com/articles/hiv-aids-on-the-rise-among-older-adults

According to a 2005 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report, individuals over 50 remain a relatively small segment of those at-risk group for sexually transmitted diseases, with four times as many HIV diagnoses occuring in people ages 25 to 44. However, by the end of 2007, approximately 131,742 Americans aged 50 and older were diagnosed with AIDS.

Evidence suggests women, who can expect to live an average of five years longer than men, are especially vulnerable. In an analysis of National Health Interview data, Zablotsky found that almost half of women over age 50 were totally uninformed about HIV, compared with only 14 percent of younger adults.

sjeezy8:



LOL THIS PIC IS FUNNY AS SHIOT- I always click on it to laugh.

^^laugh away

refresh your eyes afterwards with your profile photo.

SEFAGO:

A TV show is now Tpia's idea of evidence


Not really, its just obvious knowledge that when you guys reach menopause- and judging by your responses you have prolly passed it- you guys have better learn how to use your hands very well because those nights are going to be lonely

as i always say, its really low class and ill mannered to start abusing women for being older than you.

fl gators used to do this as well- maybe you guys are the ones psyching her up.


show some class- after all your mum isnt less than 10 years your senior, not so? Did she reach menopause yet?

abi are you a yerima.

sefago, i'm getting tired of continually having to educate you.

the term cougar (adjective) preceeded the tv show.

google is your friend.

tpia.:

as i always say, its really low class and ill mannered to start abusing women for being older than you.

fl gators used to do this as well- maybe you guys are the ones psyching her up.


show some class- after all your mum isnt less than 10 years your senior, not so? Did she reach menopause yet?

abi are you a yerima.

Say what?

Tpia, I'm the last to abuse a woman older than me. My culture rebukes it.

When did you see me abusing an elder woman on this forum. . . . for being older?

^^ you must have a very short memory.

anyway, dont worry about it until you do it again.

or am i telling lies on you?

ok!

^^You were abusing Aunty edoyad

dayokanu no need for you to put mouth in anything concerning me!

thanks.