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Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? - Romance - Nairaland

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Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by wisdomguy4u(m): 1:11pm On Jun 24, 2018
A female friend of mine confided in me that she just found out her husband of about 10 years is gay. I asked her how come she never knew all these years they have been living together; she told me she had always been suspicious of his sexuality due to numerous phone calls he often receive from people he refers to as his male friends, but never had any solid evidence to reach a conclusion until recently, a guy he was having affair with starting blackmailing him and threatening to post their sex photos online unless he pays him the sum of 200,000naira. Her husband in order to maintain his secret, transferred the said sum of money to him. But to his surprise, after a month, the said blackmailer called him again and requested for another 500,000naira. At this stage he was forced to open up to his wife and share his story with her. He told her that he is gay, and that one of her gay lover is blackmailing him. The woman was left dumbfounded and in need of advice on what to do; whether to help rescue her husband from the blackmailer or walk out from the marriage. Mind you, the couple have no child yet.

Guys,what would you do in this scenario if you are in her shoes ?

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Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Nobody: 1:14pm On Jun 24, 2018
Aye Le
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Amakababe(f): 1:18pm On Jun 24, 2018
The signs are always there. Such a dull bitch *no offence
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by KellyFORMAT(m): 1:25pm On Jun 24, 2018
God's plan undecided
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by XhosaNostra(f): 1:34pm On Jun 24, 2018
Thank goodness there are no children to consider. She should cut him loose. What else is there to say or do? He is gay! That is the biggest slap in the face & a shocker as far as infidelities go imo. I mean, how do you even begin to "unknow" the facts? It's a lot.
She should let him go. However, if he was a good husband to her during the time they were married, she should at least be there for him emotionally for the duration of this...mess. I have two minds about it though, because one side of me likes to stay loyal to people who have been good to me, while the other side wants to annihilate those who betray me. It's a tough call. She should do what feels right to her, I guess.

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Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Nobody: 1:37pm On Jun 24, 2018
This one strong ooo..

.once a gay man comes out, there's no going back. The marriage is technically over.
If she wants to stick around for a while and support him in his period of humiliation after the blackmailer releases the nudes...Fine....just for old time sake

But she should start planning her life without the man and move with correct divorce settlement if that holds in Nigeria.

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Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Nobody: 1:39pm On Jun 24, 2018
That's heart breaking.

After 10yrs??

I think it took her long time to find out.
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Nobody: 2:08pm On Jun 24, 2018
The man probably was showing signs to the lady that he's gay but she choose to overlook maybe cos of mammon. She should carry her cross biko.
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by itsMrIke(m): 4:00pm On Jun 24, 2018
This is what happens when society refuse to allow people live the lives they want.

At OP, there are so many things she can do.

1) She can simply divorce him.

2) She can stick with him, and help him deal with whatever emotional turmoil he must be facing at the moment. Afterall marriage is for better for worse.

3) She can feel heart broken and act out as bizarrely as she wants, humiliating the man as much as he has hurt her. Then Divorce him or

4) She could do number, but Stay with him still.

But what I would do personally, in this situation, will be determined by the type of person my spouse is. If she were a good woman, surely I will simply have a heart2heart with her to understand how deeply her sexuality runs.

Help her fight the blackmailer.

Divorce her accordingly.

Then continually support her the best way I can.

Cos we must have a bond, for us to have been married for 10good years

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Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Nobody: 4:09pm On Jun 24, 2018
This is society's fault. The man must have been so pressured that he decided to marry. F**k society!!!

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Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Goodlyhrt(m): 4:27pm On Jun 24, 2018
I wil then have the license to have a party with her and her accomplice
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by kingxsamz(m): 4:37pm On Jun 24, 2018
see question.
Na to bang my gf and her partner join.
Threeesome things.
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Nobody: 5:12pm On Jun 24, 2018
Say bye bye to him and bounce.
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Fesomu(m): 6:06pm On Jun 24, 2018
Very sad
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Lonestar124: 6:32pm On Jun 24, 2018
XhosaNostra:
Thank goodness there are no children to consider. She should cut him loose. What else is there to say or do? He is gay! That is the biggest slap in the face & a shocker as far as infidelities go imo. I mean, how do you even begin to "unknow" the facts? It's a lot.
She should let him go. However, if he was a good husband to her during the time they were married, she should at least be there for him emotionally for the duration of this...mess. I have two minds about it though, because one side of me likes to stay loyal to people who have been good to me, while the other side wants to annihilate those who betray me. It's a tough call. She should do what feels right to her, I guess.
Lost but find...were you banned or what?
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by XhosaNostra(f): 6:35pm On Jun 24, 2018
Lonestar124:
Lost but find...were you banned or what?

Initially, yes. But it was only for a week.
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Lonestar124: 6:37pm On Jun 24, 2018
XhosaNostra:


Initially, yes. But it was only for a week.
Ok, you're welcome back dear.
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by XhosaNostra(f): 6:38pm On Jun 24, 2018
Lonestar124:
Ok, you're welcome back dear.

Thanks, hun smiley
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by ImaIma1(f): 9:03pm On Jun 24, 2018
What other option does she have than to leave?

She needs to go for HIV test anyway because homosexuality and AIDS go hand in hand.
Re: Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay... What Would You Do? by Klinee: 10:03pm On Jun 24, 2018
stab him to death!!!!!
Or raise alarm so that he will be severely dealt with or report to the police but don't allow that evil criminal go free without justice.
That gay deserve to die!!!

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