my gurl friend was asking me if she should go and see a boy she is newly developing a relationship with. he came visit her,now its her turn. I personally feel that men should do the travelling till they are engaged . what are ur views on this.

We don't live in the stone age anymore, offcourse she should go and see him , why not?

if he came to visit her then she should travel to see him, 50:50, don't let everything be 1 way

the problem I have here is people taking advantage of others. many people just like to take advantage of a nice woman. for instance, if a guys complains of a bill, "oh I cannot pay this". the woman who is equally struggling financially helps out. he may keep requesting for more financial favors. or if she pays for his food once, he may ask her to keep paying. and then if this guy dumps the girl later, then he meets someone he truly treasures, he may borrow money from his friend just to make a good impression to this new girl. I know this is somewhat off topic, but that's just my opinion.I've a lot of things happen to my nice female friends. so I kind of "look out for them".I understand the 50:50 thing, but I was talking to my aunt oneday, she said that it is better to start visiting after engagement. let the man be the man. I dunno . I guess different strokes for different folks. and I worry that 50:50 may turn out to nice:419

She needs to shine her eyes well well, so that she no play mugu

she might want to give him some more time though, get to know him better before taking the next step

no1) she should be careful but the same time have an open mind

no2) if the relationship is getting serious and she feels like going, then why not?
he might think she isn't interested if she keeps pulling away, it might give the wrong signal/information
better to loose your pride for the one you love than to loose the one you love because of pride

no3) i'm not for the idea of a girl making the first move, or being cheap. its a no no but
her going there dosen't have to tag her cheap, its the way she portrays herself. let her actions be worthy of respect, but at the same time she's meeting the guy half way

no4) its not a tit for tat thing. so if her spirit dosen't tell her to, then she shouldn't
nothing is wrong with him visiting her 5times, then she visits him 2times or vice versa
with love, you just act naturally as it comes, each not questioning the other person's motives. Why you ask?

because they love you so they don't have negative motives for you, they want the best for you

make sense

gracious:

make sense

i wish your friend luck

Since when has it become a law to always return a visit with a visit

Baby girl, i have one advice for you, yu've gat to know him more before venturing there

Methinks its too early gor you to start going to his house now, _{yu dont wanna appear cheap, do you?}

The average guy does the wooing, thereby making the girl; feel loved and cherished.

This idea of him telling you to come see him after just meeting him reeks of foul play. Why is he so impatient ?

You, on the other hand, should ask yourself, if you really wanna go see him cos he told you to or cos you feel deep withing you he's the one!

bring it on nairalanders u gat some good thoughts.
Ugo Daniel u hit the nail in the toe. u gat some good points dere. thank u all nairalanders, plz keep the suggestions coming.

as a girl (i speak for myself oh!) i feel safer in my territory. whatever happens to me in my home, i can control to an extent. let him do the travelling. at least at first. as a woman i get nervous travelling in naija. all those buses that break down anyhow in the middle of nowhere and stuff . it scares me.

all that risk for a man you just met?

Deres no big deal if she goes but she shld be creful he dosnt misinterpret her visit

she should never go and meet him at his house alone untuil she know him better but they should meet in a public place ET VOILA!!!!!

gracious:

the problem I have here is people taking advantage of others. many people just like to take advantage of a nice woman.

wanting that guy to travel to her, pay for the bill all the time might be equally viewed as taking advantage of others. 50/50 is the only to solve that problem

for instance, if a guys complains of a bill, "oh I cannot pay this". the woman who is equally struggling financially helps out.

if they are both struggling financially then 50/50 IS the only way to go and i dont see why that guy should pay the whole bill

he may keep requesting for more financial favors.

and if she is stupid enough she will fall for it and help him out.

or if she pays for his food once, he may ask her to keep paying.

well is that not what you want HIM to do?

and then if this guy dumps the girl later, then he meets someone he truly treasures, he may borrow money from his friend just to make a good impression to this new girl. I know this is somewhat off topic, but that's just my opinion.I've a lot of things happen to my nice female friends. so I kind of "look out for them".

thats not being nice, thats being gullible and stupid(excuse my french)

I understand the 50:50 thing, but I was talking to my aunt oneday, she said that it is better to start visiting after engagement. let the man be the man. I dunno . I guess different strokes for different folks. and I worry that 50:50 may turn out to nice:419

what else has your aunt told you? i guess if you do think like that then your girlfriend should bring a chaperon like yourself to all her dates and the problem will be solved.