Have you ever loved someone so genuinely that you wished he or she was yours for life? Have you ever crushed on your classmate, teacher or neighbour but lost him or her to another undeserving rival? Have you ever imagined a relationship full of joy, love and bliss? Have you ever nurtured how beautiful/handsome you would want your girlfriend/boyfriend to be? Then this article is for you.

A certain marketer sat at home, fashioned his market strategies, drafted his business plans; he had done his feasibility studies, spoken to a few sponsors who have agreed to invest in his product. He set out on a certain day to test-run his product, its acceptance in the market,only for him to be shocked at the way his product was turned down. He was rejected with his products. In fact, for the first six months he tried and tried again, yet he met series of rejections, disappointments and discouragements. Some persons even ask him go back and do his homework and think of selling a better product. This marketer came back home thinking all was lost. He had two choices before him—quit selling his product or restrategize.

For many persons, relationship seems like the allegory of a defeated marketer. In fact, some have contemplated being single parents. They hardly fall in love. Reason being that in their earlier days, they have experienced disappointments in relationships. The kinds of men/women they fancy are sadly those who easily break their hearts. Therefore, they have given up on love or loving. Love seems like a foreign language to them. In their diaries, there are memories of past hurts. They are bound to like you as a person but the moment you say I LOVE YOU, you become a detestable monster to them. They are yet to forget that first guy/girl they genuinely loved who broke their hearts ruthlessly. Do they care if it’s a mental health issue? I don’t think so, for most of them think it’s EMOTIONAL SELF-DEFENCE.

First hurts if not properly handled can cause a serious emotional disorder. This disorder may not give one a bed in the hospital immediately but as time passes by, human nature sets in and if some psychological needs are not met, depression sets in, this may lead to serious cerebral issues. Handling first hurt may not be simple. However, one may wish to troubleshoot oneself like computer to reset one’s mindset after every hurts. Looking at the number of accidents that happen on road we use everyday, one may not step out of one’s house. It is now a cliché that life itself is a risk. If you’re afraid of being insulted by woman on wooing her, then you’re not ready as a man. If you’re afraid of falling in love again because of your past hurts, it’s natural but not fine. It’s like writing several CVs and sending them to a prospective job offer, only for you to be hugely turned down. The painful decision standing before you will be, do I continue searching for a job or quit searching? Either ways, life must go on.

The first thing you must do is disabusing your mind about relationship. You need to understand that if you are a good person, there’s someone out there who’s like you, who also needs you. Everyone must not be heartless. Never let a broken heart take your chance from loving again. There are angels in disguise. I’ve seen couples who insulted themselves when they first met, yet they are happily married today. Secondly, you must remove all forms of negativity. Even when there is economic stagnation people still survive. What make you think you can’t be one of such persons who will make it in a relationship? The best thing to learn from past hurts is how to know the handwriting on the wall when you meet a heartless person who claims to love you. Therefore, you must think positively. Lastly, you must learn to forgive yourself. Trust me, dear, all what comes to your mind when you are jilted by that person you genuinely gave your love to is, ‘Jennifer, you’re such a fool’, ‘Kemi, you saw it coming yet you were so dumb’. Hello? It’s not your fault. Yes, it’s not your fault that you gave your heart to a mischievous lout. You need to give yourself a pat in the back and say to yourself, ‘Kemi, you’re a strong woman, you deserve the best’. You need to go to the bathroom, take a cold shower, go out with friends, maybe to the movies. Give yourself a good treat and stay positive. And be open to a reasonable relationship which will certainly come.