Am 22 and a university student

In less than two months ill be in my finals

But heres my problem… ..All my years in school i suffered from social anxiety… though i love people and come around them in social situations… .i have always found it sifficult to participate in the social situation



My anxiety has always made me quiet… ,.and have hindered me from being able to be comfident.,,,i know this is because of the family and area in whivh i was raised


i was the last born with my immediate bro giving me six years gap… he bullied me as i grew.,talked down on me and prety much non of my other sibblings ever talked normql to me… .


everyone seemed to literally see me as a house boy good for only errands and staying alome and being the object of their bossines and anger……


my parents werw not social people… .in my house i used to stay alone and had no one to talk to… ,,This somehow affected my ability to see myself even as equal yo my own mates in school… .coupled with seeing kids who had a free mentality as opposed to me further created in me an inferrioriy cpmplex

So where we come in?

So all these Years has led to me feeling surpressed and Bottled up inside

i look around and every one is being confident and talking freely


I want that too.,,,,

I want to know how to break the binds of social anxiety
and stop being that quiet guy


i want to talk freely and with confidence participate in all social activities fully like everyone else

to stop being a person who is looked over like He's not even there

Being bossed around especially by much more older siblings is a common trend in most Nigerian homes. Being the last born that you are, could have put you at an advantaged position where everyone showers you with love, gifts, affection whilst growing up (or so you thought). But alas everyone seemed too busy with their lives to even notice you. I suspect you to be an introvert which have not made the aforementioned go down well with you, hence making causing you to withdraw.


My advice: Forget the past, loose yourself, make friends(the ones you are comfortable with), join social clubs, try new things you haven't done before, set goals, achieve them, reward yourself and feel confident.

You're not the only one going thru such. It happens to guys and girls. If you were a girl I could help you sexually but you're a guy and I'm not gay.

LuvSwollenPussy:
You're not the only one going thru such. It happens to guys and girls. If you were a girl I could help you sexually but you're a guy and I'm not gay.

Hmmm....boda elpa!

Dear Op,

There's a saying that "a problem known is halfway solved"; so I want to believe you're almost at solution. That said, ensure what you're looking for is not society approval of your person because they careless.

Now when you are with friends/colleagues relax yourself and avoid over- thinking before contributing in a group discussion. Avoid joining group of happening/rowdy guys, such settings suck you up the more and you might off permanently.

Lastly, action speaks louder than words and it impresses your personality in people's mind more - act well, do some little nice things for people and do keep a lively spirit.

REX106:
Am 22 and a university student

In less than two months ill be in my finals

But heres my problem… ..All my years in school i suffered from social anxiety… though i love people and come around them in social situations… .i have always found it sifficult to participate in the social situation



My anxiety has always made me quiet… ,.and have hindered me from being able to be comfident.,,,i know this is because of the family and area in whivh i was raised


i was the last born with my immediate bro giving me six years gap… he bullied me as i grew.,talked down on me and prety much non of my other sibblings ever talked normql to me… .


everyone seemed to literally see me as a house boy good for only errands and staying alome and being the object of their bossines and anger……


my parents werw not social people… .in my house i used to stay alone and had no one to talk to… ,,This somehow affected my ability to see myself even as equal yo my own mates in school… .coupled with seeing kids who had a free mentality as opposed to me further created in me an inferrioriy cpmplex

It’s good that you recognise that it’s a problem and that it is hindering a large aspect of your life.
There are many ignorant people on this forum but it’s not their fault stupid cannot be fixed.

Have you managed to make any friends at all? Do you have any hobbies? If not that might be a good place to start. Joining clubs that do foster interraction with a common element which won’t make it very difficult for you to get involved in.
Each day set yourslef a task for the week for example
Greeting 10 strangers or asking for directions from someone you have never met before. Gradually move to making a compliment to a member of the opposite sex. It does not have to be anything salicious or bawdy.

Try someone older for example. Make a point of looking at what you have managed to achieve despite the set backs. This is called positive reinforcement. Learn something new that is outside your comfort zone.
This is one way of reminding yourself that you are not a useless person nor are you a person who is not valued just don’t make the woes of your childhood the instruments that will shape your future as an adult.

Look for self help books online as well.
You have come this far don’t give up.

Your problem is not complex issue...you are an introvert.

Hmmm...that's a difficult one. Perhaps you should start small. Find a few people with common interests or who are similar to you & take it from there. Hanging around similar people is probably not the best option, but you don't wanna be overwhelmed & overshadowed once again by much bigger personalities. Hence I suggest you take baby steps.

With that said, we can't all be outgoing etc. Sometimes you gotta accept your nature & work with what you got, instead of trying to be something you're clearly not. Nothing bad about being quiet because you're less likely to be overbearing & obnoxious. Some people may even be admiring you from a distance. Who knows?

I'm also one of those people who sink in my chair around a large group of people. In a scenario like that, I prefer to be spectator. The fewer the people, the more I shed my shell. People are wired differently. Just try to embrace & accept the differences between yourself & "them".

Start drinking moderately, like a few drinks a day, it will help, alcohol makes you very social, why do you think people drink in parties and gatherings? It's because of the way it loosens one up and make one free and courageous.
Trust me, it will work.

donbachi:
Your problem is not complex issue...you are an introvert.

But you do know that there are two kinds of introverts right? There is the social introvert and the non social introvert.
This guy here is definitely the non social kind of introvert.

1stNumeroUno:
Dear Op,

There's a saying that "a problem known is halfway solved"; so I want to believe you're almost at solution. That said, ensure what you're looking for is not society approval of your person because they careless.

Now when you are with friends/colleagues relax yourself and avoid over- thinking before contributing in a group discussion. Avoid joining group of happening/rowdy guys, such settings suck you up the more and you might off permanently.

Lastly, action speaks louder than words and it impresses your personality in people's mind more - act well, do some little nice things for people and do keep a lively spirit.

ha ha ha make friends with funny people.. like me... it might help... argue football.. etc. start from there

Good pieces if advice here already.


Buy your cheap data now guys

REX106:
Am 22 and a university student

In less than two months ill be in my finals

But heres my problem… ..All my years in school i suffered from social anxiety… though i love people and come around them in social situations… .i have always found it sifficult to participate in the social situation



My anxiety has always made me quiet… ,.and have hindered me from being able to be comfident.,,,i know this is because of the family and area in whivh i was raised


i was the last born with my immediate bro giving me six years gap… he bullied me as i grew.,talked down on me and prety much non of my other sibblings ever talked normql to me… .


everyone seemed to literally see me as a house boy good for only errands and staying alome and being the object of their bossines and anger……


my parents werw not social people… .in my house i used to stay alone and had no one to talk to… ,,This somehow affected my ability to see myself even as equal yo my own mates in school… .coupled with seeing kids who had a free mentality as opposed to me further created in me an inferrioriy cpmplex

if you are a Christian get yourself into the choir. And always participate in the singing every day, you will see a change.