"Sex isn't the reason I'm asking you out, I just really like you"
"I'll wait till you're ready"

To every girl, these phrases are all too familiar. It marked the very beginning of trouble.

As soon as any girl child had attained the age of reasoning or even before, the value of being a virgin is buried deep in all of her spheres.
Just like that, the consciousness is carried on. Societal acceptance depended on your measure of chastity and the integrity on your hymen until...
You met that boy.


The boy with the certain je ne sais quoi and just like that, before you can say Jack Robinson, you have fallen into the hollows of love.
But life is no fairy tale, he's not a virgin in any sense of the word and you, well....
Fast forward into the future....
The girl is laying Unclad in bed, with a heightened sense of shame and uncertainty. The reality hits you that it's a bye bye to virginity.

But where do ladies get it wrong?



Let me tell you a story. The story of Grace.
Grace is in love with Jude in every way just as in the novels.
Grace had been single for about 4 months, she broke up from the last relationship because she just wasn't ready for sex, she wanted to give her husband that special gift.
Jude liked her quite alright but only the Heavens know if he really wanted to wait till marriage or he knew it was only a matter of time before he was in there.
Grace knew, deep down inside how much of a humongous task it is to ask Jude to stay faithful but still she demanded it. She wanted a bad boy to be good to only her; it was the perfect show of surrender.

What happens next?
Your guess is as good as mine
Jude cheated. His excuse? Jane didn't even ask. She knew already.
It was down to two options
Let Jude go or give in.

5th of March, in his house, as they kissed into clouds till it got to 9,it happened. Just like that, the special gift for her husband couldn't be delivered.

Where did Grace get it wrong?
Simple
It is in expecting, expecting that he would stay faithful and not demand sex later on.
I'm not saying it's impossible but it is unlikely.

Dating without sex especially when one person wants to is torture for both parties depending on how selfish the girl is.
For the boy, there's repeated blue balls from kissing and going home with hard-on's. There's also the insecurity; the constant doubt in her claimed virginity and the chances that she loses it to someone else. And there's the pride of not wanting to be on the losing side .
For girls, there's the evident unhappiness the boy tries to mask, the suspicion that he maybe cheating and the fear that he may get tired and leave. It's so much stress.
Sex is in someway a journey, you begin and don't stop. You can have some breaks here and there but you just move on eventually.

My advice? If you so wish to keep yourself till marriage, then don't date, whether he's a virgin or not. Just be single and happy.
Why? There's something about being attracted to someone. Sparks happen when you two touch in even the slightest way. The urge to kiss, cuddle and other things that start incoming trouble abound when two people are in love and then it comes only a matter of time before sex happens.


That's a bit harsh? Well, good things don't come easy, they come with sacrifice.

What do you think?


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Nice piece