By GIDEON OPARINDE

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Lolade was Femi’s classmate at the university. They were not dating, but were on talking terms. Lolade was a social butterfly who was always in the company of different campus boys. She’s very pretty and from a wealthy home.

It was rumored that Lolade terminated at least four pregnancies for different guys. Femi knew but kept mute and wanted to punish her for jilting his cousin Tomi. A year after their youth service, everyone had gone their different ways , but Lolade and Femi met again in Lagos.

Femi indicated he wanted to marry her and had an affair with her. They even terminated a two-month pregnancy.

The doctor called him aside and warned that they should never try such again and that Lolade probably would not get pregnant again.

Femi kept this to himself till their plan to get married was materializing and he asked her to go for a fertility test. She eventually did it, but the result was disappointing, and she told Femi, her fiancé. It was too late and nothing could be done.

Femi had to call it quits with her. Would you go for a fertility test before marriage if your partner insists?


Lynda

Well, he is my fiancé and after all, it is not a bad idea. But should he be certified unable to impregnate me , we shall accept our fate and move on with our lives. We shall adopt a few kids and treat them like our biological children.


Dingba

If my partner insist that I should go for fertility test, I would ponder deliberately on it, but looking at it, I would not make her doubt my fertility issue, I would accept to go for it under the condition that she would also have her own test, but most times these tests could be wrong because I have seen both couple well tested okay for fertility issues but waited for 8years before having a child. In conclusion I would oblige to her request to that issue


Yinka

Yeah, I have to do it , because marriage is a lifetime issue.

It’s always better to be on the safer side earlier than regretting later. You know what I am talking about? If I love him, yes, then think of a way out, if he is very understanding.


Mubo

It’s okay by me as long as we are set to marry each other and if my church orders it.

Some churches recommend it before joining couples together. But if religious bodies recommend fertility tests, I think that enough would sink a relationship of many years.


Bunmi

Hmmmm. Well, it is necessary for both of us to do so , because I believe that I am okay. I don’t think I have any cause for alarm or to be afraid. He might want to find some faults with me. In other words, it means we both have to go for it, so that we will both know where we are heading.


Toyin

Yes, I will comply, though I will not be happy about it, because if it works out against me, he might want to quickly dump me and go for another girl. Should that happen to me, I’ll be unhappy , but I will still follow him because I love him.


Gurati

As far as I am concerned there is no need for fertility tests so far true love exists between us.

What if she insisted on fertility tests and at the end of the day she happened to be the victim?

Everyone has his or her past. So, let’s take fate in our hands and commit the rest to God for proper direction.

What happens , if after the fertility tests, the doctor diagnoses that both of you are normal but after marriage there is no child ?

Who are we to blame for this? Man proposes but God disposes, let us just believe in God and leave the rest to God.


Gbemi

I will terribly feel bad with that action of his, does it mean he is marrying me all because of child bearing or what? But I have no choice than to go and run the test, because for me to want to settle down with him, it means am head over heels in love with him and ready to settle down with him.

I'm more irritated by the story than interested in answering the question. Is Nigeria so backwards that the doctor would talk to the MAN about a WOMAN'S reproductive health and not bother to repeat the same information to her? And, what kind of man seeks revenge for the cousin by toasting the girl that turned down his fam? People are always being clever by half and forget that the world is ever revolving. The hole he dug for Femi is the same he'll stumble in later on down the road. Where do they find such barbaric people?

God, have mercy on Nigeria and her children.

Thank you. My point exactly. I am not Nigerian but I really dont understand how these doctors can have the audacity to tell the MAN about his womans reproductive health and not bother to tell the woman whose body it concerns. And what the hell is wrong with this man? Not telling her about her reproductive health? These people are animals.
DO these doctors really act like that in Nigeria?

This story is suspect.

otokx:

This story is suspect.

Exactly my point too. Doesn't ring true. so so stupid. Both for the guy and the girl in question. Any man that requests talk less of demands a fertility test before marriage isn't worth anything and I tell all women not to sell themselves cheap. Its an indication of what kind of marriage they are about to enter into. They will NEVER get any respect for who they are in themselves.

If my fiance had a shady past, I dont know about you girls but before I get married to him, I want to know EVERYTHING about him! There are just some things that you cannot just say 'its in the past' and let go.
If your finace had an incurable std for example, wouldn't you appreciate it if the doctor informed you of the state of your man's reproductive system?

The case is that, we need to differentiate or compare a husband who requests pregnancy of his wife before getting married and a husband who request for a fertility affidafit before marriage.

For instance, some religion bodies take to the same clause before blessing any marriage be Christan or Muslim.

Love is a very strong thing to break. well, should you insist that you should go for fertility test, fine. both of you should accept the outcome in good faith and bear in mind that there is no situation God cannot change. http://getconceive.cpm

Love is a very strong thing to break. well, should you insist that you should go for fertility test, fine. both of you should accept the outcome in good faith and bear in mind that there is no situation God cannot change. http://getconceive.com

i think there are some important issues that need to be cleared before marrying and one of these is the issue of fertility and what would happen if no issue comes.
One may call this test barbaric but I think it is reasonable. Nothing so terrible as a childless woman and the pain she goes through. This could be even more tormenting if the man gets a child outside the marriage.
I love my husband so much that I would want him to have a child of his own. If I cannot give him one then I have to allow him get them through another woman. This is because I know how it is to him. In our case God was merciful