Without being crude; 9ja men are letting down their female counterparts, it is any wonder that they are marrying non-9ja or in some case marrying outside their set boundary, as far as family relations are concerned.

Whether in marriage, education, occupation or in the wider society 9ja women are performing better. Some 9ja men approach families, in the hope of landing their prized daughters, without even having a steady job. How can they expect this? Its really pathetic. 9ja men need to wake up and smell the coffee, as it were. No more feeling sorry for yourself, its time to get real and to restore the honor that we once held, well at least in the in eyes of our women.

I was of the firm believe that 9ja women were wholly responsible for the break down in the family unit, but my views have now been altered, partly due to seeing that 9ja men are lagging between 9ja women in all fields of society.

Discuss^^^

I take it from your point of view that non-naija women are lagging behind naija men in all fields of society.

I think parents' are supportive of their daughters furtherin' their education than they are with their sons. However, sisters can easily manipulate the situation to their own advantage I know of a gal who wanted to settle down with brother, however her parents' refused based on the grounds that he didn't pursue a degree. She sided with her mother and father, and her soon-to-be husband was left with no choice but to enroll in a local university. He's obtained his degree in engineering, enjoys his new career and they're happily married

People respond to incentives. If educated naija chicks don't settle, brothers will be left with three options: go somewhere overseas and purchase a wife, then wait somewhere between 6 months and 3 years till the package arrives; marry a non-naija or land a degree/doctorate/masters.

p.s. Men who endorse this whole 'get that gwap, hustle hard, push weight' mentality that's glorified and celebrated in the hip hop realm need come to terms with the fact that it's a facade. It's not applicable to naija. Pick up a book and read.

wtf is miss b

interesting i cant wait her

i already missing her now

I will give the mony later i dint havit naw It's interesting because young naija men have absolutely no pressures put on them. No one expects anything from them. The girls are raised to have no lives and never ever be able to leave the house just to have some normal okay fun, but the guys can do whatever they want, whenever they want simply because of their gender. You ask any naija mother why her son is out at all hours of the night and she will tell you its because he is a boy. That makes me question many things. If a naija mother doesn't know how to parent her teenage son by giving him limitations and giving him ambitions to live up to, where exactly is the father to do this? Why can't he step in and be a good role model for his son? The mother herself is brainwashed into believing the double standard that if a girl has the slightest bit of fun she will become a wh.ore, but where is the father to say that a boy needs limits?

I know a family who has a 20 yr old daughter. Her mother calls her every 20 minutes if she is just out running errands. If she is at school, she is expected to be home within 10 minutes. This girl has lie about doing something so simple like going to the movies just so she can catch a break every once in a while. Her brother is in 10th grade. Since last year, he's been coming home at 2 or 3 in the morning. On the weekends, he doesnt even come home sometimes. I think that kid is going to rape someone soon. He is sooooo vicious when it comes to girls that it really scares me. No one cares about his actions or behaviors. He has a phone and computer he's never worked for and all the money he wants when he demands it. How does that make sense at all

^^First, speak for yourself dear. Secondly, what on Earth do you consider "Normal okay fun"? I mean, if you're saying, let the girls date and have boyfriends, then that's against ISLAM. Unless you're against Islam, which then would make my entire response pointless. Furthermore, what do you mean "girls are raised to have no lives"? Are you serious, or are you having a miserable day? Girls, in the Islamic culture are raised to preserve their dignity and reputation. In many cultures, a female who goes around the BLOCK isn't respected, thus usually bring disrespect to her family and end up not getting married into a well-manner family.


You know, Woman are like Pearls, the more they are preserved and kept clean (Whether she does it herself or by family), the more likely she will end up with a guy who's respecting her, and loving her for who she is, and where she came from. This is the reality on the ground

@Wtf nav By normal okay fun i honest mean just going to the mall with your friends, or going to the movies or just han ging out. Dating and having boyfriend and clubbing and all those things i know are against Islam, and i know aren't something naija people get involved in and still consider normal. You think that i am talking about something sooooo absurd, but you have never lived as a Muslim naija GIRL, so you really never ever would know. I never said anything about anyone going around the block. Why are you twisting my words and acting like i advocating for all naija girls to be raised as Lindsay Lohans? I live in a very naija area and have my entire life. Every girl i've ever lived around has never been trusted and never been able to have any sort of freedom. I mean seriously ANY kind of freedom. Someone's mother will ask her to go to the grocery store and get some milk and then accuse her of being a slut if she was stuck in traffic or something.


So, please, don't assume you know everything about something that you've never lived. Some people use Islam as an excuse to really make their daughter's somewhat of a slave to them. There is a difference between living a normal Islamic life and being able to enjoy life's pleasures, and absolutely being caged in and being USED in every aspect of the word because of gender, culture and society.

I really don't like it when people think they KNOW something that they will NEVER live and have NEVER lived. Unless you can walk in the sho.es of these girls, you really don't have too much to say about them

Unless you can walk in the sho.es of these girls, you really don't have too much to say about them.

Our mothers have a delicate balance with their daughters. 9ja mothers have been through so much and seen so many bad things happen to women. They don't use ISLAM to control their daughters, but they use their instincts and common sense. A mother wouldn't want her daughter to be rapped. A mother wouldn't want her daughter to be a hoe, and end up being considered as a trash. A mother wants the best for her daughter. We cannot blame for the way a mother feels about her daughter.

Men and Women are not the same. If you can hang out with your girlfriends, which obviously a lot of girls I know do, then there isn't anything wrong with that. However, once the mother knows that one or few of the daughter's friends are corrupted, then by all means, the mother has the right to be worried about her daughter's well being.

You're right, I will never know how a girl feels. But, the only FREEDOM I know of, is not having fun by going to the Movies, or Theme Parks, or Weddings, but knowing that you are who you are, and being having so much respect for what your Creator has told you to do, which to is OBEY your parents, and by having such a high value on yourself, for being a women, makes you know that you have all the FREEDOM you can have.

A mind at ease and a heart so innocent is the BEST FREEDOM

I do understand that our mothers have been through alot and want us to be safe, but in their fear, they take it too far. It's not fair to young naija girls to not be able to do ANYTHING in life while their brothers can do whatever they want. Religion IS used as an excuse because they always talk about the adventures they had in naija. You hear about, "i went to such and such concert, and we did this that and the other" but because we are in a foreign country they think that we have no self control or anything. If you don't give your child any sort of trust, they WILL rebel and do everything you DONT want them to do. It's not fair to young naija girls because they never ASKED to be in this country. They never asked for a war to happen and for their lives to be in the west. I know so many girls who are trying. We are all trying. When you have to mix your languages because your mother tongue is fading and you've spent your entire life in an english speaking country and you are trying to be a good Muslim but everything around you is making it difficult, shouldn't your mother, the person who is supposed to be there for you the most, try to adapt a little and understand what is going on in your world? It's hard, but i think it's also a parent's responsibility to understand all the pressures we face. Immigration comes with assimilation and accommodation. If we were in naija, none of this would be a problem, but since we are in a "hony" world, everything is a problem. I think instead of fear mongering and driving both your daughter and yourself crazy, the best thing to do would just be educate about the issues and trust your child. naija mothers don't talk to their girls about anything. They don't talk to them about puberty changes, about boys, about sex, about anything. All that is soooo tuch, how can you blame a girl if she finds her sources in other places? Or if she finds herself in a situation that she never knew anything about?

Nigerian women too sting. they never spend money on me

papa190:

^^
But i bet they would spend $$ just to have a good view of your anus~

rofmao!