ada24:

don't mind the fool. is it not one story i heard in nigeria where the man beat his pregnant wife to lead to miscarraige and then when she fled to her fathers house told both sides of the extended family that she aborted the baby.

some of these men on this board should take the infalted male ego out of it and look at this intelligently - u cannot behave like an animal in the western world with your wife - if u know that u will loose everything when u divorce work on your marriage - don't kill her or start making her life hell. if she is helping financially u must do little things in the home to help just as she is helping u keep the home. its nt rocket science

Cohomology:

When some men are pushed to the wall by women who are out to destroy them and rob them of all they work for, a scorched earth policy is instituted! Anarchy and chaos is the result.

The US legal system must stop being so biased against men that their only recourse to seeking justice is to take matters into their own hands. Stop the bias!!!

ada24:
if she is helping financially u must do little things in the home to help just as she is helping u keep the home. its nt rocket science

Cohomology:

When some men are pushed to the wall by women who are out to destroy them and rob them of all they work for, a scorched earth policy is instituted! Anarchy and chaos is the result.

The US legal system must stop being so biased against men that their only recourse to seeking justice is to take matters into their own hands. Stop the bias!!!

so that makes it okay to kill her?
I can't believe what I'm reading here.

Aloy_Emeka:

Anambra: Man kills wife over N35,000, blames devil
From GEOFFREY ANYANWU, Awka

Monday, July 26, 2010
A man (names. withheld), 52, has in anger allegedly murdered his wife in Achalla, Awka North Local Government Area of Anambra State.




http://odili.net/news/source/2010/jul/26/500.html

The suspect told Daily Sun: “How will I feel? I have been in deep sorrow. I can’t explain what happened to me. The devil has won the battle now. I have been crying and regretting since then.”

The palm-wine tapper and rice farmer, said the death of his wife, 40, caused by him was unimaginable as it was the last thing he could have ever thought of doing. The marriage was contracted 20 years ago and the union has produced six children, three males and three females, with the first child now 19 years.

The union, he said, was peaceful until 13 years ago when the deceased woman allegedly ran away from their home with the sum of N89, 000 given to her by him to start a business. But instead, she allegedly went to co-habit with another man, resident in the village and said to be her lover. She was said to have used the money to maintain the lover boy and even bought him a motorcycle.

She was said to have refused to return home even after series of visits by the husband, who claimed he had at several occasions asked the man to leave his wife alone: “We have been living in peace until now. The cause of the problem is that she said that she wanted to trade, I gave her money. This is the 13th year I gave her that money to trade with and she did not give any account.

“I gave her N89, 000. Instead of trading with that money because she said she wanted to sell yams, she absconded with her boyfriend. She went to live with him, she didn’t give me any money. The man she ran to live with is in my village, but he is not a native of my village. “She ran to him with all the money. She bought machine, stove, pots and they were cooking and eating. So, I went to the man to tell him to leave my wife for me.”

But instead of feeling remorseful and asking the woman to go back to her husband, the lover boy, according to the suspect, became daring and confronted him with dangerous weapons at the market with the intention to harm him.

The matter, he said, was reported to the police, who arrested and detained the man. But to his greatest surprise, his late wife and her family were sending food to her lover in the police cell and eventually bailed him out.

He said he later forgave the late wife and took her back when the members of her family came to apologize on her behalf. This action, he said, made matters worse as she showed no sign of repentance from her wayward life:

“After that, on our market day, the man came with scissors to the market where I was selling palm fruits to stab me. People started shouting and I ran away. I invited the police and they locked him up in our town. My wife and her people were cooking food and taking to him at the police station.

Onlytruth:

Not to be misunderstood:

The decision to marry a particular woman lies with the man. Therefore you "the man" must be responsible for picking the wrong wife. IT TAKES A LOT OF WISDOM AND DISCIPLINE to pick a good wife.

Every man has personal limits. Your challenge is to understands that limit and find a woman who  fills it up without taking your pound of flesh. To find that woman that compliments or "fills up" that limit, you must be realistic about it. You must be honest with yourself. Don't pick a wife to impress anyone. Just DON'T!  Don't pick a model wife or the so called "hot wife". I see a lot of men making this mistake.

A "mad" man should not get married. Period.  All these recommendations are assuming a normal Igbo man with his full senses. You can call me whatever you want, but the success or failure of a marriage depends to great extents on the man because he plans it from day one. He has a lot of power to design it.

If he wakes up to discover that he had picked Jezebel for a wife, well, tough luck! He must not kill her for it! This article is skewed to some extent because it fails to address the other side of the story which is that of men destroyed by these types of marriages, who are alive but are as good as dead. I know my friend is!

That is why I am still saying that until Igbo women start proposing to Igbo men, and sponsoring all the traditional rites (approaching families, making overtures to family and spouse, wine carrying and wedding) in Igbo culture, until they take over the current roles of wooing and "toasting" and choosing their husbands, the man must take responsibility for picking the wrong wife.

If you wake up to find that you've picked a scorpion (akpi in Igbo), you only have yourself to blame.

Take your time, do proper due diligence, stay away from most nairaland girls 8), forget the "sweetness" of the toto , don't hang your coat higher than your actual height, you'll do well. If you can't do these, go back to Nigeria, marry there and stay there. At least you'd have societal support to some extent.

oyinda.:

this topic is still going? lol

Onlytruth:



Hmmmm!

Now imagine such woman in America!

I don't support any killings. That is why I urge Igbo men to think long and hard before bringing a woman from Nigeria. We can solve this if we accept that we can do something before it gets to that desperate stage. Think long and hard before bringing that girl.

I don talk my own.

stillwater:

Sebi I do say it here that Igbo men are the most arrogant males in Nigeria. Just take a look at the Igbo men on NL. They exude chauvinism. See what over-inflated egos can cause? Where the men are gods and kings. . .You guys need to do some serious soul-searching and culture over-hauling. You are not the only tribe that is abroad and has to adapt to western society.

Will you also ask Yorubas to do serious culture over haul since statistics have shown that their women tend to kill their spouses than any other ethnic group in Nigeria?. What could be responsible for that behavior?. Lack of cultural overhaul?, overpopulation of feminists with youthful exuberance to emasculate men in Yorubaland?. Are you also going to blame the Yoruba culture for that and tell them they are not the only tribe whose women need to adapt to marital life?


Also,
If your assertion is true then wife battering/killing should be limited to igbos only but they are not even up to 40% of the whole wife-killing cases abroad unless you are among the Yorubas who count anything east of Ondo as igbo. How will you explain the Yoruba men who killed their wives too?.  There are about 3 Yoruba men against 4 Igbo men in America who committed similar crime yet  igbos do theirs due to over inflated egos and Yorubas do theirs because of devil, abi or is it due to alienation from Yoruba culture while in America or what?. Are you also aware there are about 2 Edo men involved in the same issue and uncountable hausa/Fulani women murdered yearly in Nigeria by their husbands. Were these women killed by igbo men with over inflated egos?

He said he later forgave the late wife and took her back when the members of her family came to apologize on her behalf. This action, he said, made matters worse as she showed no sign of repentance from her wayward life:

Aloy_Emeka:

[i][size=12pt]Will you also ask Yorubas to do serious culture over haul since statistics have shown that their women tend to kill their spouses than any other ethnic group in Nigeria?. What could be responsible for that behavior?. Lack of cultural overhaul?, overpopulation of feminists with youthful exuberance to emasculate men in Yorubaland?. Are you also going to blame the Yoruba culture for that and tell them they are not the only tribe whose women need to adapt to marital life?

stillwater:

Cultural bias indeed!!! If anyone is being biased it's the 'defense' I see on this thread where the victims are blamed for the insanity of the man. You must really be lying to yourself to not see the obvious truth that most of the deaths were carried out by Igbo people. Calling one or two Yoruba and Edo here and there will not douse the fact that the crime is mostly done by Igbo people. I'm not like you that will like to deceive myself. Igbo man is very arrogant. Do something to your attitude, period!!!! See the chauvinistic defense on this thread. *Spits on thread*

As per that article you posted


Which Igbo man will take back a cheating wife? Roflmao. Even the women who are ordinarily alleged of cheating are sent packing never to be seen or heard of again, how much more a confirmed cheating wife?  That man should freaking stop lying.

Kobojunkie:

uumm . . . . I fail to see the CULTURAL link here @Aloy_emeka. I know you like to pretend to play devil's advocate but sometimes, it is ok to just give it up and deal with the facts that we have rather than making up absurd connections.

Nothing of the yoruba culture that I am aware of gives women the go ahead to kill their husbands, or emasculate them men as you claim. Do you have any proof of this?

If anything the Yoruba culture also suffers from the same "men have needs" issue only it seems the men do not, in large, take it to mean so much, considering it seems they find it easier to adapt when faced with change. Look at Yorubas in London for instance.

Aloy_Emeka:

Also,
If your assertion is true then wife battering/killing should be limited to igbos only but they are not even up to 40% of the whole wife-killing cases abroad unless you are among the Yorubas who count anything east of Ondo as igbo. How will you explain the Yoruba men who killed their wives too?.

Aloy_Emeka:

There are about 3 Yoruba men against 4 Igbo men in America who committed similar crime yet  igbos do theirs due to over inflated egos and Yorubas do theirs because of devil, abi or is it due to alienation from Yoruba culture while in America or what?. Are you also aware there are about 2 Edo men involved in the same issue and uncountable hausa/Fulani women murdered yearly in Nigeria by their husbands. Were these women killed by igbo men with over inflated egos?[/size][/i].

Aloy_Emeka:
Tribal and ethnic bias is a serious virus eating Nigerians and I am beginning to wonder how they judge criminals in Nigerian law courts with this mindset. How can stillwater judge an igbo man who beat his wife with this mindset because she will not even waste her time listening to his lawyer's deposition after all he is an igbo man with over inflated ego and should be thrown under the bus. I think it is better we localize our courts and let each of us be judged by our own tribe.  You can imagine how many innocent people in Nigerian jails due to ethnic bias

Kobojunkie:

uumm . . . . I fail to see the CULTURAL link here @Aloy_emeka. I know you like to pretend to play devil's advocate but sometimes, it is ok to just give it up and deal with the facts that we have rather than making up absurd connections.

Nothing of the yoruba culture that I am aware of gives women the go ahead to kill their husbands, or emasculate them men as you claim. Do you have any proof of this?

If anything the Yoruba culture also suffers from the same "men have needs" issue only it seems the men do not, in large, take it to mean so much, considering it seems they find it easier to adapt when faced with change. Look at Yorubas in London for instance.

Kobojunkie:

40% of the wife killing cases abroad? Where did you get this from?

[b]The point here there is no denying there is a link to culture with many of the Ibo cases out ther[/b]e.In sort of the same way many Arab-wife killings are linked in some way to culture. When you spot a pattern you do not go saying it is not reasonable because others do it too(even when there is absence of a clear pattern in those cases). 

The courts are localized. The man in your story is probably not going to be tried in a yoruba court but an Ibo one. Many of these same get away with their crimes and go back to abusing other women. How many of these wife-killers are behind bars today?

Aloy_Emeka:

That is exactly my point that cultural affiliation and tribe do not have effect in those crimes yet reports show that many Yoruba women are violent. Someone already said sometime ago that it could be because they are more emancipated and less likely to take BS from men. now, is that factor in Yoruba culture?.

Aloy_Emeka:

Remember I gave her a contrary example which stem from her assertion that igbo menn are arrogant and their culture needs overhaul lest they kill all their women. She still maintained that point even when I pointed out the exact number of those responsible for the American murders  in the ratio 4:3:2[Igbo:Yoruba:Edo]. So, only 1 person more is enough to heap all the blame on them?. I also asked her why the identified Yoruba men who killed their wives do so?. Arrogance?

Aloy_Emeka:

Of course the Hausa/Fulani may not be represented due to their tiny population in the US. Also, check the population density in the affected country and draw your conclusion.

Aloy_Emeka:

Assuming I believe your theory. What is the reason behind Yoruba women being very violent?. The same factor that is affecting Igbo men or what?.
Also I spliced the crimes as per reports and trust me I follow news 10x more than you and the number reported so far are 4 igbos, 3 Yorubas, 2 Edos and 1 unidentified tribe from the middle belt. So, how does that translate to igbos being arrogant etc?. Has it ever occured to you that Igbos have the highest population of Nigerians in teh US?. Go check the crime rate among Nigerians in the UK and you will notice that Yorubas top there, is it because they are inherently criminal of due to the fact that their population doubles any other Nigerian tribe in UK?.
Arrogance is not limited to anybody: How so can igbos be evil, arrogant, dubious, self centered, flat headed and every other group in Nigeria are alright. How so if not ethnic bias?. Stop the hatred please and to think I used to believe you are one of the few here who analyze issues fairly beats me.



So taking back a cheating spouse is dependent on ethnic affiliation. Sandra Bullock must be igbo.

So taking back a cheating spouse is dependent on ethnic affiliation. Sandra Bullock must be igbo.

stillwater:

Because I did not side Igbo men, I'm not analyzing this fairly? I think you are more biased maybe because you're Igbo. People are being killed here because of a culture that glorifies the male. Please let's call a spade a spade. Whoever said anything about Igbo men being evil, bla bla because I said they are arrogant? I'll only deceive myself to say that the culture does not allow for this arrogance. I have seen it with my two unclothed eyes. Something needs to be done. Calling other Nigeria tribes to feel good will only amount to more deaths. I live in the US, and that number of 4 you accounted for the Igbos is HIGHER than that.


Sandra Bullock and Igbo man. . .what's the correlation?

Aloy_Emeka:


Out of 9 reported cases so far, 4 are igbo, 3 are Yoruba, etc. Is that not about 40% for Igbos?.

Aloy_Emeka:

So if the igbo cases are culturally linked, how do you explain the Yoruba cases that are about 75% of igbo cases? cultural? devil? accidental?.

Aloy_Emeka:

How do you explain the violent Yoruba women as per reports? cultural, accidental, coincidence?. Are Yoruba women suffering from the same epidemic seen in igbo men?

Aloy_Emeka:
Not entirely. An Igbo judge who is bias like Stillwater can be allowed to judge you.