Can you allow your teen to date ? Is it advice able? I need your opinions pls,

u cnt help it.

Like you could stop them.

if you have brought up you teen to be respectfull. i guess you shouldnt have problems cos even if he/she is dating(and is usually the case) He/she should be descreet and responsible. and you parent should not go all out to lay trap. even to do it secretly means there is much of that respect for you.

yea but with caution

My kids are not dating till they are 21 period.

yeh, if you tie dem in d toilet or smtin . . .lol

davidif:

My kids are not dating till they are 21 period.

@poster
dating is not really the problem BUT knowing whats right or wrong IS.
if you have educated your kids right and explained to them some facts of life then you shouldnt be worried if your 16yr old is dating.
we all know that there is NO WAY to stop it as they can date in school. . . . . . . . and you cant stop them from going to school, can you?!
so better EDUCATE them rather than trying to stop the inevitable (as if you could).

Nope

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
dating is not really the problem BUT knowing whats right or wrong IS.
if you have educated your kids right and explained to them some facts of life then you shouldnt be worried if your 16yr old is dating.
we all know that there is NO WAY to stop it as they can date in school. . . . . . . . and you cant stop them from going to school, can you?!
so better EDUCATE them rather than trying to stop the inevitable (as if you could).

I have educated my soon to be 16 teen but I still say no. When a boy and a girl date in this age what exactly do they do, Homework? What with cable and the sex campaigns.If she is adamant, bobo might want to explore. Why let her loose in this jungle. When she is older, ok. I won't even let her go to parties, ah don't shoot me. Boys will be boys and girls wil be compromised albeit foolish girls.

i guess dats ur daughter alone

zenatta:

Nope
I have educated my soon to be 16 teen but I still say no. When a boy and a girl date in this age what exactly do they do, Homework? What with cable and the sex campaigns.If she is adamant, bobo might want to explore. Why let her loose in this jungle. When she is older, ok. I won't even let her go to parties, ah don't shoot me. Boys will be boys and girls wil be compromised albeit foolish girls.

there is nothing wrong with the way you want to educate your child, to each their own.
btw it doesnt really matter what the bobo wants to do "if you have educated your child well enough", she will be mentally strong and fully aware of whats right or wrong (as you rightly stated, only foolish gals falls for it)
and teens dont need to go to parties to date etc, they can simply do it in school and get updates via online social networks!

if the dating involves sex then is it really necessary?

i know my own era was in ancient times but really, people dont die from lack of sex.

as those market women et al used to say: "thing wey go tire you, why you wan rush am"

if can tell them no dating after you move out of the house or you can let them go on a date but you have to know were the are going. you have to talk to them on what is right and bad you can also let them to write down the address and phone number of were the are going the time the left the house and the time the are coming back who the are going out with.

Yes they can.
I prefer to know what is going on than to be kept in the dark.
I raise my kids to know they can trust me to talk about anything and I advise them with love and patience.
Leting them know the go and no go areas.

They can NEVER be stopped from dating.

The question however should be who to date.

Dating should not be miscontrued for having sex with a member of the opposite sex because it is not!

the best is to open up to that child let her believe in u and make sure at every time u enquire from her if she if still a virgin when u make ur kids ur friends there is noting they will hide from u i have an elder sister who i was so close to she tutored me on how to handle guys even my husband she told me not to have sex with him till i see seriousness because i liked her so much and we were so close i kept to my promise to her and i was watching her too she was also decent and i was neva messed up till i got married

Personally there is no need for school age kids to be going on dates. What is that for

My parents were totally against me dating.
You can imagine that even when i was 21 and told them of my boyfriend, it was like fire would fall from heaven.
My dad even banned me from ever seeing him.
Yet we continued and i am now married to him.

I will let my teen date in a supervised manner.
What i can't stand is the sneaking around and lies that come with them trying to hide the relationship.
I want them to be open with me.
If i have trained them well then, i believe they will be able to make good choices.
However, the important phrase is "in a supervised manner".

When your daughter takes the advantage of yes-you-can-date by coming home with big belle, what will you say to your husband ? Would you admit you were the one that sent her out in search of D.ick ? Then the father will tell you . . . . Oh I remember she took after you cos you too were like that . Then you won't have the courage to scorn her or take her for abortion cos you've already pushed her into sin . We all know where dates dey  take boy n girl to na, abi no be bed ? Which kind play lion n dog dey do if not to eat demsef. If my kids wanna do it , which I know they will; I just don't want to give them the go ahead cos if katakata burst, e go pain me say I know about am .

^^^^^

I don't think it is always like that.
I believe that if the child is well trained then it will be a healthy experience.
My sister actually had her first boyfriend when she was 16.
She is over 25 now and is still a virgin. How do i know? That one is a very long story for another day.
Suffice it to say that the doctor certified her a virgin and she has had 3 serious relationships since her first love.

I had only one boyfriend who i am currently married to.
My parents taught us well and i thank God for them.
It is the same values i hope to install in my teenage children.

rita@NL:

When your daughter takes the advantage of yes-you-can-date by coming home with big belle, what will you say to your husband ? Would you admit you were the one that sent her out in search of manliness ? Then the father will tell you . . . . Oh I remember she took after you cos you too were like that . Then you won't have the courage to scorn her or take her for abortion cos you've already pushed her into sin . We all know where dates dey  take boy n girl to na, abi no be bed ? Which kind play lion n dog dey do if not to eat demsef. If my kids wanna do it , which I know they will; I just don't want to give them the go ahead cos if katakata burst, e go pain me say I know about am .

oh lawd! and then you wonder why some teens are confused. why would you think that "yes you can date" means "yes you can have s e x"? who said that teenage dating means automatic s e x? what about hanging out with friends at the mall, going to the movies, playing video games etc? what about your child being strong/wise enough to say NO?

if anyone believes that their child is gonna have s e x the first time they have an opportunity to do so then i guess they should deeply look at themselves first.

btw if you educate your child properly, i doubt they will come home with belle. at least they will be intelligent enough to use contraception.

MRbrownJAY:

oh lawd! and then you wonder why some teens are confused. why would you think that "yes you can date" means "yes you can have s e x"? who said that teenage dating means automatic s e x? what about hanging out with friends at the mall, going to the movies, playing video games etc? what about your child being strong/wise enough to say NO?

if anyone believes that their child is gonna have s e x the first time they have an opportunity to do so then i guess they should deeply look at themselves first.

btw if you educate your child properly, i doubt they will come home with belle. at least they will be intelligent enough to use contraception.

You are sounding like all of sudden this teenager will now develop the brain of an adult when it comes to the opposite sex. Why should a teenager be at the mall unsupervised? Don't they have a house? What is the purpose of going unchaperoned anywhere? My child will be well educated on everything and boundaries do not start and stop with what happens with the opposite sex. There is no point in a teenage child being anywhere unsupervised. Even if the boy or girl in question is a "friend" I will be driving them to the movie theatre myself and will sit right there with them. If any friends come to my house they will hang out with the rest of the family in the living room and if the want to take a walk then I am sure there will be more than enough room to walk around in a cul de sac. Chidlren do not need all this freedom that people are trying to throw at them.

going to the movies

red flag right there.

boy + girl at the movies.

unsupervised.

Dating is not the problem. Having sex is!

As from the age of 16, I'm going to allow my Children to date and bring them home. But I'm going to insist the don't do the act till they are married or at least 18. Eventually, kids will do what they want to do, I can only pray they listen to what I have to say.

LOL,  . . Go to mall, movies and many more but the truth is if they end up having sex, you think she will tell you after you already warned her to be careful ? And why in God's name will I tell my teenage have intimacy but use contraceptives !!! Anyway me I am a local woman and I can't tell my teenage go ahead and date but I can tell they to invite their friends home, so I can study them myself.  Give this kids inch and they will take miles not becos the parents are not trying their best but kids will always be kids.

At what age can you as a parent sit down and watch romantic movies with you kids ? Watching it with them without tell them to change the channel or go to their rooms?

Anyway me I am a local woman

likewise.

i no dey posh like that.

At what age can you as a parent sit down and watch romantic movies with you kids ? Watching it with them without tell them to change the channel or go to their rooms?

disney style romantic movies are ok, but i think as a teen i watched romantic movies alone or with my friends, not my parents. (did my parents even watch western movies sef).

I mean movies like S, e ! X and the city ? Not Disney kind oo. If you can watch that comfortably with them ,then your kids are free to date and have sex. I know I can't watch that kind of movies with them until they are in university, if dem wan date make dem papa give them go ahead not me.

watch s.ex and the city with teens of any age?

I cant do that.

How would i arrange my face during the vivid s.ex scenes?

j/k

Outstrip:

You are sounding like all of sudden this teenager will now develop the brain of an adult when it comes to the opposite gender. Why should a teenager be at the mall unsupervised? Don't they have a house? What is the purpose of going unchaperoned anywhere? My child will be well educated on everything and boundaries do not start and stop with what happens with the opposite gender. There is no point in a teenage child being anywhere unsupervised. Even if the boy or girl in question is a "friend" I will be driving them to the movie theatre myself and will sit right there with them. If any friends come to my house they will hang out with the rest of the family in the living room and if the want to take a walk then I am sure there will be more than enough room to walk around in a cul de sac. Chidlren do not need all this freedom that people are trying to throw at them.

get brain all of a sudden?! as if i started to "educate" her about life the day prior to this date, lol!
she will get adult brain when she is an adult and deal with adult issues. so far as i know, having a friend of the opposite s e x is not an issue, let alone an adult one!
the question you should ask yourself is why SHOULDNT a teenager be at the mall unsupervised?! or is a mall the new place where people have s e x? (thats what you worry about, right?). dont you have any trust or confidence in your teen child at all?!

shouldnt you worry EVEN MORE that they spend time together at home unsupervised rather than at the mall? i guess you will always be over their shoulder to "protect" that poor child of yours that has no concept or right/wrong. . . . . . . . or good and bad.

tpiah:

red flag right there.
boy + girl at the movies.
unsupervised.

what is the poor lad gonna do to the gal?! have s e x with her while people next to them are watching SHREK3?!
just because some of us adult would find a movie theater appealing for our s e x escapades doesnt mean that every teenager is like us and comfortable with the place.
as a woman, ask yourself this question: as a teen, would you have had s e x in a movie theater?!

Ujujoan:

Dating is not the problem. Having sex is!

As from the age of 16, I'm going to allow my Children to date and bring them home. But I'm going to insist the don't do the act till they are married or at least 18. Eventually, kids will do what they want to do, I can only pray they listen to what I have to say.

you can only give your child the best values/advices possible but you cant force that child to be who they are not. if a child really want to have s e x, there is absolutely nothing we can do to stop them. instead you should make sure that they are fully aware of the consequences of such act and that it is done properly(if done at all) i.e protection/contraception.

a funky houseboy/girl is all what would be needed for a child to loose their virginity, right under your own roof and "supervision".

rita@NL:

LOL,  . . Go to mall, movies and many more but the truth is if they end up having sex, you think she will tell you after you already warned her to be careful ? And why in God's name will I tell my teenage have intimacy but use contraceptives !!! Anyway me I am a local woman and I can't tell my teenage go ahead and date but I can tell they to invite their friends home, so I can study them myself.  Give this kids inch and they will take miles not becos the parents are not trying their best but kids will always be kids.

you are worrying about the wrong things! there are far worse things that can happen to your child than having s e x: drugs, crimes etc
you shouldnt tell your child to have s e x, you should teach her about life BEFORE some boy teaches her immature mind about life the wrong way.

s e x/drug/crimes are everywhere and it is your job to prepare your child against these "evils" of life. if you dont do your job then you only have yourself to blame when she comes home pregnant but remember that locking the door before you go out will not stop her from doing what she has set herself to do.
educate your child on se*xuality, teach her about contraception and ALL the consequences of having premature unprotected s e x.

if you think that a 14yr old doesnt know what s e x is then you are dreaming, its everywhere around us. put on the TV/internet/billboards and there it is so therefore you should educate her.
IMHO pretending it doesnt exist or saying that its BAD BAD BAD is a wrong way to look at it.

MRbrownJAY:

what is the poor lad gonna do to the gal?! have s e x with her while people next to them are watching SHREK3?!
just because some of us adult would find a movie theater appealing for our s e x escapades doesnt mean that every teenager is like us and comfortable with the place.
as a woman, ask yourself this question: as a teen, would you have had s e x in a movie theater?!

um, overseas there's something called "first base", "second base", etc for different levels of heavy petting.

nobody is his brother's keeper in a movie theatre.

what better place for a boy and girl to get their freak on than during Hot films.

if they go as part of a trustworthy group then that's different.

as a teen, had i made the mistake of always being in compromising situations with Hot boys, who knows what might have happened. Anyway, i was a bookworm with no social party life to speak of and exams to study for, no so fear.

besides, i had some enemies of progress practically placing bets on when one of us in the house would carry belle.