@JuanDeDios asked a question in the thread about 'Crazy Things You Did While Single On Campus' by homegirl @EazyJ - The question was about the effects of premarital sex. This is the first part of my attempt at answering my brother man. Let's discuss!

The reason God encourages people to wait until marriage to have sex is that when us have sex outside of marriage, we run a very high risk of messing things up. And this is particularly true for men who tend to imprint off of their early sexual experiences much like a wild crane (a bird).

Some birds like wild cranes imprint on the first thing it sees when it's born, a baby crane will follow a chicken as its mother if that's the first creature it sees when it's born (hatched). Professional ornithologists (bird scientists) usually wear giant crane suits when they work with these birds, so these birds get the right first impression.

How does this relate to men and sex?

As already stated, men like some animals tend to imprint off of their experiences; in this case, early sexual encounters. If a man's early sexual experiences are in the context of lust (which is what they are outside of marriage) - it's not really about commitment, but heat, lust, backseat of a car, dark alley in a cinema hall, lonely next-door neighbour, body count etc. They tend to imprint on the sex and not the girl. Eventually, when men have these early orgasmic experiences, their psyche goes ... 'Wooo! what was that!?' and they start taking mental pictures - because they want to remember this ineffable moment (this is imprinting). Unfortunately, a lot of guys get stuck here, and that's why many men in their marriages are trying to recreate a lust environment - trying to get fulfilled sexually as a married man, trying to force their wives to do things that a lot of them are uncomfortable in doing.

Why are they doing that? They are trying to recreate those early experiences.

On the other hand, if a man's early sexual experiences are in the context of marriage - where he falls in love with a girl and all these people gather together, and they all approve of it, and they have their wedding in a church, and God approves of it, and all their family and friends approve of it and they have the biggest celebration of their life. And on their wedding night, and on their honeymoon; they start having these first orgasmic experiences - he's imprinting on the girl. And he connects to the girl at a very deep level.

That's why people who wait till marriage before they have sex have a fraction of the divorce rate of the rest of the world, because he's imprinting on her than just sex.

Imprint is dangerous not just in premarital sex, but also in masturbation and many unnatural sexual behaviours (dildos and intimacy gadgets and pornography). Many cases of 'unfulfilling' sexual experiences in marriage is because of past lust-based sexual experiences.

Now, for women, the imprint thing is about what happens after the sex - and when women have sex outside of marriage, nothing happens after sex. There's no connection, there's no follow-up, therefore they imprint that 'sex means nothing', 'sex equals nothing'. That's why so many married women have such negative attitudes about sex.

But if a woman waits until her wedding night and sees that this is how she connects with this guy, then she understands that it means everything, it's a key, a very fundamental thing. And this is particularly bad for women who have been sexually molested, not only does sex not mean anything, their whole experience was forced on them and that negative early experience has a terrible impact on their sex life.

On a physical level, science proves that women with multiple sexual partners do not respond the same to sex. This is because women typically release oxytocin when they have sex (oxytocin gives a woman buzz and helps her to connect emotionally), it's the same chemical released into their bloodstream when they breastfeed a baby. It's called the bonding chemical and it's secreted less and less the more sexual partners a woman has.

SEX is a beautiful and natural part of God's design but wrong usage is disastrous as these five facts about sex clearly affirm:

Five Facts about SEX (From the book by Chip Ingram - see reference below)

1. Bethesda Research Group - Washington Post (1994)
Couples who strongly believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong are a whopping 31% more satisfied in thier sex lives"

2. UCLA Research
"Those who cohabitate or live together before marriage have a 50% higher possibility of divorce than those who do not"

3. University of South Carolina
"Those who abstain from sexual intercourse before marriage have the highest rates of marital fidelity"

4. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott (Northwestern University)
"The introduction of sex in a dating relationship is almost always the ushering in of the breakup of that relationship"

5. The rampant spread of STD's flatly contradicts those who try to claim that sexual intercourse his a harmless recreational activity to be pursued with the highest number of partners possible. (This is the key factor that influenced sexual behaviours in the Victorian era - topic for another day).


References

Mark Gungor - Youtube Video - "Wait until marriage to have sex"
Link - https://you.be/jL1lZtGC2w

Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships (Book by Chip Ingram)


cc: lalasticlala, mynd44, dominique, JaunDeDios, Valerie47, EazyJ, Paxie55, Sarang

no handout for sex..do as you please

This is an educative post.
Well done @OP

I don't agree. The facts suggest that the sexual revolution has done humanity way more harm than good.

babyfaceafrica:
no handout for sex..do as you please

Op, more ink to your pen.

Some of us need to keep upholding the standard even if society encourages otherwise.

Keep it up.

Rule of thumb:

When someone reacts in a disproportionate/disagreeable manner to a discussion/suggestion especially a moral issue. They've got something to hide, or an axe to grind. It touches their raw nerve.

I'm sorry if you've been hurt before. You can always learn and start again. And I don't know it all, I learn everyday. Even you have no idea how much I could learn from you.

MzErica:
This little ape thinks he knows it all! Fvck you!

.

The late Myles Munroe used to say, 'Before you do anything as a young man, before you take any decision. Make sure to evaluate all the possible consequences of your action'. Can you live with the consequences of sex? (Unwanted pregnancy, STI's/STDs, Negative imprint that could affect your future union). If you can't, stay away!

Mike is my friend who thought that sex is a natural expression of his love for his girlfriend. Baba no see any implication or lasting commitment with intercourse. But he would later discover something interesting...

And I'll tell you for free, Intercourse is like a bridge. When a woman crosses that boundary, she usually intends to stay at the other side, the side of commitment. Guys on the other hand, wish to cross that bridge and return to the other side of flings. Where does this take anybody?

Research indicates that once an uncommitted couple gets involved in sexual intercourse, the relationship usually begins to end. Why?

They have reached the superficial end of the physical aspects of the relationship, and they have no particularly compelling reason to explore it's depths.

Be wise brother. Use your upper!

Electricboy:
boss..so you mean that having sex while in school or before marriage is really bad ?? but peeps in the other group seem to talk about having a lot of fun from immoralities...am a fresher by the way

Accepted you are not a virgin as a lady but you have had sex with at least five different guys and you still expect your said boyfriend to treat you like an African queen. That's not making sense.

.

Jonra:
@JuanDeDios asked a question in the thread about 'Crazy Things You Did While Single On Campus' by homegirl @EazyJ - The question was about the effects of premarital sex. This is the first part of my attempt at answering my brother man. Let's discuss!

The reason God encourages people to wait until marriage to have sex is that when you have sex outside of marriage, you run a very high risk of messing things up. And this is particularly true for men who tend to imprint off of their early sexual experiences much like a wild crane (a bird).

Some birds like wild cranes imprint on the first thing it sees when it's born. A baby crane will follow a chicken as its mother if that's the first thing it sees when it's born. Professional ornithologists (bird scientists) usually wear giant crane suits when they work with these birds.

How does this relate to men and sex?

As already stated, men like some animals tend to imprint off of their experiences; in this case, early sexual encounters. If a man's early sexual experiences are in the context of lust (which is what they are outside of marriage) - it's not really about commitment, but heat, lust, backseat of a car, dark alley in a cinema hall, lonely next-door neighbour, body count etc. They tend to imprint on the sex and not the girl. Eventually, when men have these early orgasmic experiences, their psyche goes ... 'Wooo! what was that!?' and they start taking mental pictures - because they want to remember this ineffable moment (this is imprinting). Unfortunately, a lot of guys get stuck here, and that's why many men in their marriages are trying to recreate a lust environment - trying to get fulfilled sexually as a married man, trying to force their wives to do things that a lot of them are uncomfortable in doing.

Why are they doing that? They are trying to recreate those early experiences.

On the other hand, if a man's early sexual experiences is in the context of marriage - where he falls in love with a girl and all these people gather together, and they all approve of it, and they have their wedding in a church, and God approves of it, and all their family and friends approve of it and they have the biggest celebration of their life. And on their wedding night, and on their honeymoon; they start having these first orgasmic experiences - he's imprinting on the girl. And he connects to the girl at a very deep level.

That's why people who wait till marriage before they have sex have a fraction of the divorce rate of the rest of the world, because he's imprinting on her than just sex.

Imprint is dangerous not just in premarital sex, but also in masturbation and many unnatural sexual behaviours (dildos and intimacy gadgets and pornography). Many cases of 'unfulfilling' sexual experiences in marriage is because of past lust-based sexual experiences.

Now, for women, the imprint thing is about what happens after the sex - and when women have sex outside of marriage, nothing happens after sex. There's no connection, there's no follow-up, therefore they imprint that 'sex means nothing', 'sex equals nothing'. That's why so many married women have such negative attitudes about sex.

But if a woman waits until her wedding night and sees that this is how she connects with this guy, then she understands that it means everything, it's a key, a very fundamental thing. And this is particularly bad for women who have been sexually molested, not only does sex not mean anything, their whole experience was forced on them and that negative early experience has a terrible impact on their sex life.

On a physical level, science proves that a woman with multiple sexual partners do not respond the same to sex. This is because women typically release oxytocin when they have sex (oxytocin gives a woman buzz and helps her to connect emotionally), it's the same chemical released into their bloodstream when they breastfeed a baby. It's called the bonding chemical and it's secreted less and less the more sexual partners a woman has.

SEX is a beautiful and natural part of God's design but wrong usage is disastrous as these five facts about sex clearly affirm:

Five Facts about SEX (From the book by Chip Ingram - see reference below)

1. Bethesda Research Group - Washington Post (1994)
Couples who strongly believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong are a whopping 31% more satisfied in thier sex lives"

2. UCLA Research
"Those who cohabitate or live together before marriage have a 50% higher possibility of divorce than those who do not"

3. University of South Carolina
"Those who abstain from sexual intercourse before marriage have the highest rates of marital fidelity"

4. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott (Northwestern University)
"The introduction of sex in a dating relationship is almost always the ushering in of the breakup of that relationship"

5. The rampant spread of STD's flatly contradicts those who try to claim that sexual intercourse his a harmless recreational activity to be pursued with the highest number of partners possible. (This is the key factor that influenced sexual behaviours in the Victorian era - topic for another day).


References

Mark Gungor - Youtube Video - "Wait until marriage to have sex"
Link - https://you.be/jL1lZtGC2w

Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships (Book by Chip Ingram)


cc: lalasticlala, mynd44, dominique, JaunDeDios, Valerie47, EazyJ, Paxie55, Sarang

So nice and lesson-packed a write-up.
Much thanks Jonra.

I await more updated on this.
Thanks again.