Four months after they met, James, 31, came from Abuja to meet with Titi's mom (dad not in the picture), and later with James' parents who welcomed her with both arms. They spent five quality days at home with James parents before they both parted for their respective locations.

A fortnight after, Titi 32, told James she met a guy (Fola, 33, married but filing for divorce) who asked her out. She claimed to tell Fola that she is in a relationship and her fiancé is in Abuja. Fola then asked for casual friendship instead because he is new in town and needed someone to be his GPRS. James, a pragmatic and forthright guy who respects individual's freewill, said to Titi "I won't choose your friends for you, you're no longer a kid, I trust you'd know how to handle yourself."

Under this friendship guise, Fola worked his way to Titi's heart and the pair became extremely close. In fact, since James is not in town, Titi took solace in Fola's friendship. They go to movies together, go out on several dates, and the bond became strong. Titi eventually took confidant in Fola and tells him things. This is the point where Fola caring ability crept in. He gave her money to change her hair (which James asked her to return, but she didn't), bought her new smartphone because her phone crashed.

Titi's mom became uncomfortable with Titi-Fola relationship (which has been going on for about two months then), and she told Titi that "you've already brought James home to me, I don't know what you're doing with this Fola guy. As a matter of fact, where will you tell James you got that phone from?" Unknown to the mother, her communication with James at this point was about twice a week with less than two minutes each call.

Bolu (married, mother of one in Ibadan), a long time friend of Titi since their days in tertiary institution had to stepped in to salvage Titi-James relationship on phone at a time when Fola's contract is completed and had to leave the town. While Bolu didn't display any knowledge of Titi-Fola relationship, she claimed that "the Titi I know would never double date" when issue on suspicion ensued in her discussion with James. Titi and James had to pick up the pieces, thanks to Bolu.

Boom!!! Titi visited James in Abuja. On the second night, James tried to touch his fiancee, and to his bemusement he realised that the so precious and tight c**t is now free and easy to penetrate. This helped confirm his suspicion and gave him reasons to ask questions later. He pulled out halfway, and that was it that night.

On return from work the following day, James called Titi and asked her about Fola. On several occasions, she denied being something other than casual friend to Fola until James brought up his observation of the loose c**t. At this point what d'you expect? Crocodile tears rolled down the eyes and an emotional cry followed. Eventually she claimed they had it only once the entire time they were together and that was less than forty eight hours before her journey to Abuja. And remember, two days earlier, Bolu was still deep in her discussion with James trying to salvage the relationship.

That night, Titi cried alot. She said it was a mistake and that everything happened because she was just living and enjoying the moment with Fola with nothing matters to her at that time. She claimed she will never tried it again. James took her back for the single fact that she confessed. He even promised her that it will be their little secret (after all every family has one).

The two love birds tell each other things. As a result, two months after, she told him of some guy (Charles, recently returned from the US) who's asking her hand in marriage. She told Charles she's in a relationship and that the fiancé (who's now out of job) is in Abuja. Charles is making friends and going on dates with her now. They've even planned days to go see movies.

James reacted by saying "since you won't be offering him (Charles) what he wanted, then let him go. What's the point being friends with your suitor?" Titi replied by saying "so I'm not allow to make new friends anymore because I'm dating you?"

Communications between the pair had gone down ever since. In fact, they've only managed to exchange calls twice this year and both are filled with scorn now.

James is confused, needs you guys genuine advice please!

What other advice does your friend need? It's clearly written in actions and words that she's not for keep. He's better off alone than with a cheat.

Michelle55:
What other advice does your friend need? It's clearly written in actions and words that she's not for keep. He's better off alone than with a cheat.

Don't you think what's affecting her is the gulf of distance in locations between them?

seanjost:


Don't you think what's affecting her is the gulf of distance in locations between them?

It's also affecting the guy but we don't see him complaining.. The distance shouldn't be used as a yardstick to cheat. If she's sooo bothered about the distance, she should atleast have a conversation with her fiance and not run to another dude's arm at any given opportunity.

Distance relationship is the last thing I will do on Earth ,there is 99 percentage of cheating

Michelle55:

It's also affecting the guy but we don't see him complaining.. The distance shouldn't be used as a yardstick to cheat. If she's sooo bothered about the distance, she should atleast have a conversation with her fiance and not run to another dude's arm at any given opportunity.

As well as being deeply in love with her, James already told his reverend & wife when he introduced Titi to them that they'd be happening in 2019 but not earlier than the second quarter. The reverend and his wife, as well as close associates of James and Titi are now praying and planning James-Titi 2019.

This is one major reason why James is confused and in need of unalloyed advice.

Michelle55; I toll your line of advice though and already shared that with James earlier, but this his reason of confusion is why I created this thread. I really want to hear from people like you who would imagine themselves in James shoe.

Thank you

Hey Mr James you don't need the gods to confirm to you that she's not yours....


Let Her Go... TD Jakes

Vcent50:
Distance relationship is the last thing I will do on Earth ,there is 99 percentage of cheating

You might be right buddy. But I still believe there are upright ladies and guys out there who could make relationship work regardless of the distance, hence why I couldn't entirely fault distance for the mishap in this James-Titi relationship.

I stand to be corrected.

raphretle:
Hey Mr James you don't need the gods to confirm to you that she's not yours....


Let Her Go... TD Jakes

Thank you bro; well noted

seanjost:


As well as being deeply in love with her, James already told his reverend & wife when he introduced Titi to them that they'd be happening in 2019 but not earlier than the second quarter. The reverend and his wife, as well as close associates of James and Titi are now praying and planning James-Titi 2019.

This is one major reason why James is confused and in need of unalloyed advice.

Michelle55; I toll your line of advice though and already shared that with James earlier, but this his reason of confusion is why I created this thread. I really want to hear from people like you who would imagine themselves in James shoe.

Thank you

From sleep know how death will look like,
From a relationship know how marriage will be,

James should be a real man, a real man is one that listens to his intuition, and makes use of logic not emotions. Being a real man means making hard choices to secure his well being and his future (even when it hurts).

Marriage is a life time contract, even with all the emotional fanfare in a wedding you will be asked to sign the marriage register, why? Because it's a contract. With that out of the way it begs the question, will you go into any contract with someone you don't trust? Love is out of the question here because in marriage love will become cranky and die slow and painful death when there is no trust.

Ofcos James has lost the trust he had, but he "decided" to still love. But with the new current situation it's just a matter of time before it gets ugly.

My question to James is why would he have to go on with a wedding plan just to please a church pastor?
He will only need the pastor when it's time to bless the marriage, but he does not need the pastor on telling him who to marry. So he should tell the pastor the wedding plans are off, cos it won't be the pastor's problem when he eventually marries a cheat that has shown she will not change.

James should sever his loses (though it may hurt) and move on. The writing is on the wall he should not be a pusssy about it

pryme:


From sleep know how death will look like,
From a relationship know how marriage will be,

James should be a real man, a real man is one that listens to his intuition, and makes use of logic not emotions. Being a real man means making hard choices to secure his well being and his future (even when it hurts).

Marriage is a life time contract, even with all the emotional fanfare in a wedding you will be asked to sign the marriage register, why? Because it's a contract. With that out of the way it begs the question, will you go into any contract with someone you don't trust? Love is out of the question here because in marriage love will become cranky and die slow and painful death when there is no trust.

Ofcos James has lost the trust he had, but he "decided" to still love. But with the new current situation it's just a matter of time before it gets ugly.

My question to James is why would he have to go on with a wedding plan just to please a church pastor?
He will only need the pastor when it's time to bless the marriage, but he does not need the pastor on telling him who to marry. So he should tell the pastor the wedding plans are off, cos it won't be the pastor's problem when he eventually marries a cheat that has shown she will not change.

James should sever his loses (though it may hurt) and move on. The writing is on the wall he should not be a pusssy about it

WOW! This is extremely thoughtful. Thank you brother for your unreserved contribution

James is currently working through you guys advice, but Titi is taking another turn now; she's now in the business of reporting James to his close associates that he (James) had only reached out to her once this year.