Dear Jzhane,

Please keep my anonymous. I need your advice. Truth is,I am at the point where I feel so vulnerable and I might be making a decision that I might regret or not..I actually want to follow my heart but I need someone else to help me look at this matter as objectively as possible.

So I have been engaged for about a year now,I dated my boyfriend for a year before the engagement. My boyfriend is four years older than me. But this is not his first marriage. He got married at an early age but he divorced the lady after the lady was caught cheating like six months after their marriage.

His first marriage made him very reserved and unable to trust women for sometime. I like him a lot. He is cool,funny but I also feel he is too reserved to the point that he does not show affection the way I would have preferred. We have talked about this several times and he keeps saying he is guarding his heart,that he was too vulnerable in his first marriage and when it crashed he was beyond devastated.

He however said he is working on it and promised to keep changing.My problem now is that,there is someone else who has been coming for me. A church member,this guy is exactly what I want in a man. I do not want a man who will give me money. I have my own money. I just want a man who will spoil me with affection,someone romantic..and this guy is the exact description.

I have been putting off his advances because of course,I am engaged. But I feel like I am deceiving myself because the one I am engaged to does not really care as much I like him too. I mean this guy can gist and make me laugh. He sends me romantic texts which I love so much but I pretend not to like…he asks me about my day,my dreams,my passion. When he talks to me,he listens. I try not to spend time with him cos my heart skips a beat anytime he is around me. The way he looks at me,I actually feel like melting.

To the best of my ability,I have put off this guy fro almost nine months. Eventually,......



https://livelystones.com.ng/my-heart-is-messed-up-even-though-i-am-engaged-to-a-good-man/

This new guy is the one the devil has sent to destroy your happiness because he knew that's what you really want, and that's why he has sent the deceiver (player) to your way. Trust me, you will soon fall in love deeply with the new guy cos of what he is doing now, but it is temporal. By the time he will dump you, you would have lost the good and patient guy meant for you. You are the one who can help your guy see you as a different woman but the way i see you, you are not even different. Being patient with him, showing him affection and frequently communicating with him will later convince him and release his heart to your love.

i seconded what the guy above me said ,have been in your shoes before but to be honest is just a coy .be patient and focus building your relationship ...if not my dear u will regret it

follow your heart but let your head be your guide..

Tosin17:
This new guy is the one the devil has sent to destroy your happiness because he knew that's what you really want, and that's why he has sent the deceiver (player) to your way. Trust me, you will soon fall in love deeply with the new guy cos of what he is doing now, but it is temporal. By the time he will dump you, you would have lost the good and patient guy meant for you. You are the one who can help your guy see you as a different woman but the way i see you, you are not even different. Being patient with him, showing him affection and frequently communicating with him will later convince him and release his heart to your love.

U nailed it.

Tosin17:
This new guy is the one the devil has sent to destroy your happiness because he knew that's what you really want, and that's why he has sent the deceiver (player) to your way. Trust me, you will soon fall in love deeply with the new guy cos of what he is doing now, but it is temporal. By the time he will dump you, you would have lost the good and patient guy meant for you. You are the one who can help your guy see you as a different woman but the way i see you, you are not even different. Being patient with him, showing him affection and frequently communicating with him will later convince him and release his heart to your love.

5000likes for you bro.

OP, I hope u know that when you start dating his news guy he will stop all those romantic stuffs? Just know now o, so you won't be calling men names. (A friend once told a girl he dated this" I hope you know these calls and messages won't be same forever", he told her one thing was sure though;"I won't betray your love for the record"...the sister became angry for his truthfulness).
Most ladies prefer to be with pretenders than people who are bold enough to show them their true nature.

OP will also prove her guy right for being careful with women when she finally leaves.

should we tell her?

With the compliments u have given that new guys means u have fallen for him and u have already made up your mind to break up with your fiancee and date the new guy,.and its obvious u 're enjoying every bit of the attention from this new guy too,if not u can possibly ask him to stay away since u re already engaged.

Just go ahead and do what is on your mind because I know u came here looking for one of two approval so as to go ahead with your plans...

And I believe if u truely love this fiancee of yours,u will over look some things and give things time to work out

The Angel you don't know. Can be from a useless religion.

Tosin17:
This new guy is the one the devil has sent to destroy your happiness because he knew that's what you really want, and that's why he has sent the deceiver (player) to your way. Trust me, you will soon fall in love deeply with the new guy cos of what he is doing now, but it is temporal. By the time he will dump you, you would have lost the good and patient guy meant for you. You are the one who can help your guy see you as a different woman but the way i see you, you are not even different. Being patient with him, showing him affection and frequently communicating with him will later convince him and release his heart to your love.

is better to marry who you are sexual attracted to . how are you sure that is devil's sent? do you think maybe the first person is right for her? did you know basic cause of the divorce of the first man marriage because he told her that his ex wife cheated are you sure the man in question is saying the truth? see op kneel down and ask God to direct your full step.

moron888:
i seconded what the guy above me said ,have been in your shoes before but to be honest is just a coy .be patient and focus building your relationship ...if not my dear u will regret it

I usually advise people to follow the new guy, also to make sure they do it with their chest, so they blame no one if it works out OR if it doesn't work out.

There is no guarantee whatsoever, the new guy can be great, also the new guy can be a mirage. There is also no guarantee that the current guy will give her long lasting affection she desires.

So it could be a lose-lose or win-win situation.