I broke up with the guy I loved, the guy who I thought was to be my life partner.

He was there for me every up and every down. Every court date, every argument, every PTSD episode. Every nightmare, every panic attack, every everything.

I broke up with him, not because I didn't love him, but because he loved me more than I loved him, or so I thought.

I knew I loved him with every fiber of my being, but I thought I wasn't good enough for him. So, I spent a month figuring me out. Going to therapy, going to focus on getting better, on getting stable in my emotions. On settling into my new house, and raising my daughter. On managing bills and getting back into shape. I messaged him, just a couple weeks after the last time he said, "I love you." and I said, "I love you too, and I will figure me out for me. For us." and found out not only had he moved on, but he was in a relationship with another girl. I had waited a month to prove to him that I was happy, and healthy, and that I was stable enough to make us work, and in leaving him out of that process, he moved on. His new girlfriend and her daughter are probably amazing, amazing people. He always attracts the sweetest people, but I am incredibly jealous of her. I am incredibly jealous that he moved on so easily, and so happily. I am upset because I feel like he replaced me.

Want to know what? I allowed that to happen. I allowed him to be pushed out of my life, entirely of my own volition, and that was my choice. He was merely respecting my choice, and chose to move on. I cannot, and will not fault him for that. I will ALWAYS love that man. And I will always be just a call away from him, but it's like he said when we broke up... he left a bag of seashells on the bedside table and it said something about how the waves of life may push us back together one day, but today, today is not our day. And he's right.

But if you love her, and miss her, tell her. Don't try and force the issue if she doesn't want to hear it, but tell her. Otherwise, you will always, always regret not telling her. My ex knows I love him, and he knows I miss him. But I won't break up his relationship. I won't try and ruin them, or get close to him and make her uncomfortable. This is his life. My life is my life. He wouldn't do that to me, I won't do that to him. He's happy and that is genuinely what is important to me.

Smile, maybe if it doesn't work out, the universe is either telling you, "now is not the time." Or, "this too shall pass." Or it's the universe telling you that she's not the right one for you, and that too is okay. It hurts, and it sucks, but it will get better.

Love and light, dear.

youngprof2n:
I broke up with him, not because I didn't love him, but because he loved me more than I loved him, or so I thought.

[img]https://media1./images/234941c9d553eea76de2067b9b2b30cd/tenor.gif[/img]

[img]https://media1./images/d0cb62ddace8b8c0aaf4dec51475b856/tenor.gif[/img]

Op, you be Hermaphrodite? which gender are you?