oludashmi:

[color=#000099]@dayokanu
I read thru all your posts and I think your dad was only a little bit worse than mine but they have great similarities in beating and talking maybe cos they were both teachers. Even as a calm lady, I still have some of his scares on my thigh and hand, he used to tell us "ma fun e ni apa ti wa ma fi han awon omo omo omo e" meaning "he will give us scars that you will show to your children and generations to come". I wonder if such scars will be an achievement. I believe this is what made my younger brother so hardened until recently that he is showing signs of changes, even my father now fears him (whereas he was the one that mead him hard).

When my dad is thru with cane, he will turn to punching, slapping and all sort. Food may not be enough at home but cane (pankere) was never scarce. And just like yours, we were all intelligent in school.

Same goes to my cousins cos we later realised all our parents were the same and we were all very stubborn and pretensive.

omar22:

Parents do Abuse kids thinking that they are punishing them,  some do have a permanent damage to the Child


I once failed to promote from form 4 to form 5,  my parents called me all the names in the world, i couldnt touch the TV, video, stereo, I couldnt go out, I couldnt ask for food before they reminded me about my recent result,

Practically I was called a failure and fortunately for me I made amendments, 


Because you fail doesnt mean your a failure, failure is an event not a person, but our parents would bang it constantly to a point that you would accept that your a failure,

An English parent would say Better luck next time, meaning you could do better, encouraging the child to do better,

But beating a child because he failed is purely child abuse

oludashmi:

[color=#000099]@dayokanu
I read thru all your posts and I think your dad was only a little bit worse than mine but they have great similarities in beating and talking maybe cos they were both teachers. Even as a calm lady, I still have some of his scares on my thigh and hand, he used to tell us "ma fun e ni apa ti wa ma fi han awon omo omo omo e" meaning "he will give us scars that you will show to your children and generations to come". I wonder if such scars will be an achievement. I believe this is what made my younger brother so hardened until recently that he is showing signs of changes, even my father now fears him (whereas he was the one that mead him hard).

When my dad is thru with cane, he will turn to punching, slapping and all sort. Food may not be enough at home but cane (pankere) was never scarce. And just like yours, we were all intelligent in school.

Same goes to my cousins cos we later realised all our parents were the same and we were all very stubborn and pretensive.

Regarding the apologies, I didnt care that much and They wont bring back the childhood I lost and I seriously doubt the apologies meant they wont do it again if given the opportunity. Maybe its just a way of closing ranks with you when they are kind of powerless to make decisions on you and maybe soon you might be making decisions for them.

No parent want to lose a child so they were just doing damage control to keep you from being estranged.

dayokanu:

Your stories are so similar to mine and even the words ma fun e ni apa ti wa ma fi han awon omo omo omo e

That I am beginning to think probably my dad was the one who fathered you too and we might be siblings (jokes).

Now when he cant do anything to me, We dont connect that much again.

One good thing the beating thought me was to be very sharp and creative. My dad was Inspector gadget so you have to be very good to beat him

I had lots of girlfriends while in High School and was very mischievious but my no one in My family ever knew anyone. I didnt even let any of my siblings know cos I learnt that "The best kept secrets are those you never told anyone" My timing were always so perfect. And that has helped me in a lot of ways.

After High school, I was at home and I used to bring girls home a lot in the morning but Its always perfectly timed. between 9am and 1pm I would clean up the house so no one would even remotely suspect. I had no accomplice and I had to plan and execute all by myself.

tensor777:

You brought a lot of these troubles on yourself by being so dishonest and untrustworthy. I suppose your old man was just scared you would turn into an armed robber or a secret cultist and bring his family everlasting shame, what with your position as the first son. I was impressed that he still took time out to instruct you during the punishment sessions.

The question is how would you have turned out if he hadn't seriously dealt with you??

dayokanu:

Almost every child had that streak of mischief. The way you correct them is the key.

Which child do you know that would rather go to school instead of playig or watching TV?

Maybe you were. If you would be truthful, describe yourself as a child growing up.

I could point to several of my friends and cousins that were worse than me yet didnt get beaten the way I was.

I am sure most things I did, 60% of boys my age did or would have done. e.g
gisting instead of going for lessons,
chase girls as teenagers, petty stealing in the house, wanting to go out and play football with friends, read novels instead of science textbooks, want to sit down among your friends and gist/sleep in church instead of sitting beside your dad and listening to some boring sermon, getting your room all so disorganised with clothes and shoes littered everywhere, wanting to hide poor grades from your known-to be-harsh parents.

Tell me which of these were behaviours that are criminal and wasnt seen in other kids growing up

dayokanu:

Almost every child had that streak of mischief. The way you correct them is the key.

Which child do you know that would rather go to school instead of playig or watching TV?

Maybe you were. If you would be truthful, describe yourself as a child growing up.

I could point to several of my friends and cousins that were worse than me yet didnt get beaten the way I was.

I am sure most things I did, 60% of boys my age did or would have done. e.g
gisting instead of going for lessons,
chase girls as teenagers, petty stealing in the house, wanting to go out and play football with friends, read novels instead of science textbooks, want to sit down among your friends and gist/sleep in church instead of sitting beside your dad and listening to some boring sermon, getting your room all so disorganised with clothes and shoes littered everywhere, wanting to hide poor grades from your known-to be-harsh parents.

Tell me which of these were behaviours that are criminal and wasnt seen in other kids growing up

tensor777:

Well these are traits found in every boy . The one thing my dad respected me for when I was growing up was always telling the truth regardless of the consequences.
Personally, I think lying is one of the most intolerable traits in a son, and must always attract much harsher punishment than that for the actual offence the liar is trying to cover up.

tensor777:

^^Old boy I know what you're saying. Boys will always be boys. But lets imagine you had only one son and this son is, for whatever reason,

1)wilfully stubborn

2) thoroughly untrustworthy

Now do you leave him to his own devices so that he becomes a terror and a menace to society, or seriously and ruthlessly deal with him so that he becomes a responsible citizen.

That is the dilemma.

dayokanu:

I guess you were a different child.

If you went to school and during break you played ball and got beaten by your teachers,
you touched a girls bum,
later read some soft indecency mags,
sneaked out of school and was chased my the guards,
went to school farm to share a stick of cigarrette with like 7 other boys,
bought liquor and drank while in school,
made noise and disrespected teachers and was beaten etc

oyb:

if dayokanu had turned intio a ne'er do well it would have been 'i did not beat him enough'

there are a 1001 factors that ultimately shape us.

as kid, my parents more or less forbade movies. my dad had some idea that movies would turm my brain to mush.

my closest frinds folks had no such issues - and that was a guy who was always first in class.

i went to the er school for gifted and talented - and i one of the first illusions i shed is that 'bad' boys are destined to fail.

success has a thousand fathers - which is why some of us are attributing extreme discipline to their success

the same stubbornness that is bothering so many nigerian  parents is the same trait that makes success stories

thank God i did not end up being cowed by my old man - though he didn't really have that much wahala in retrospect

my first job was working for his brother in law. when i resigned to work in another job for roughly the same pay - he was unhappy. he actually called me to talk to me. anyway to cut a long story short, thanks to my wilful stubborness i currently work in an oil company.

if i was the mold of son tensorr777 is looking for - i would have said yes sir and would probably still be there today earning  a sporadic 60k a month

mädchen:

I curious as to why there is so much emphasis on son!

or seriously and ruthlessly deal with him so that he becomes a responsible citizen.

tensor777:

Well I would have been in boarding school at that age so the opportunity of being subjected to a gestapo-like interrogation did not even arise. Anyway your dad being a teacher and all that I am sure he had his own ways of getting info about you. Hence if you were actually as troubesome as listed the info would get back to him regardless of your cover-up attempts.
For that reason most teacher's sons tend to be well-behaved.

dayokanu:

Question is if when you were on holidays and you went out and did all/some of these, If your dad asked you what did you do today or "How was your day", Not necesarily Gestapo-like interrogation

I bet the truthful Tensor777, would confess all these since you tell the truth regading the consequences.

tensor777:

^^Old boy I know what you're saying. Boys will always be boys. But lets imagine you had only one son and this son is, for whatever reason,

1)wilfully stubborn

2) thoroughly untrustworthy

Now do you leave him to his own devices so that he becomes a terror and a menace to society, or seriously and ruthlessly deal with him so that he becomes a responsible citizen.

That is the dilemma.

dayokanu:

Question is if when you were on holidays and you went out and did all/some of these, If your dad asked you what did you do today or "How was your day", Not necesarily Gestapo-like interrogation

I bet the truthful Tensor777, would confess all these since you tell the truth regading the consequences.

Kilode?!:

Tensor my bro, no mind these people jare.

No! you don't leave naughty kids to their own devices. Those kind of recalcitrant kids should be beaten to death and fed to the dogs.

Who will want to talk sense into kids or use nice or so-called sensible methods when it is easier to ruthlessly beat them and snuff life out of them?

At least if they don't die by our hands, we would have succeeded in  teaching them that violence is the way to solve issues and make them so scared of authority figures that they will rather poo in their pants than stand up to them.

Carry go jare my brother, Kill the naughty pikins, save Nigeria from reprobate children.


**pukes**

I curious as to why there is so much emphasis on son!

tensor777:

^^Old boy I know what you're saying. Boys will always be boys. But lets imagine you had only one son and this son is, for whatever reason,

1)wilfully stubborn

2) thoroughly untrustworthy

Now do you leave him to his own devices so that he becomes a terror and a menace to society, or seriously and ruthlessly deal with him so that he becomes a responsible citizen.

That is the dilemma.

bawomolo:

ha ha

abi o. those agberos weren't beaten enough

mädchen:

I curious as to why there is so much emphasis on son!

Kilode?!:

Nigeria is so ahead of the curve, we treat all sexes equally when it comes to beatings , -well, according to their abilities and "crimes",

But we do protect females and try not to physically scar them too much, else they might be rejected by potential suitors, so we use smaller canes, and lighter kobokos. Women rights are very well protected

When are you going to visit?