mädchen:

Is there a problem on nairaland if you live outside Nigeria? I'm getting some negative vibes, directed towards some people living outside Nigeria? I can figure out that there are favorites here though that live abroad. Anyways sorry for going OT. Was just mildly curious.

mädchen:

Is there a problem on nairaland if you live outside Nigeria? I'm getting some negative vibes, directed towards some people living outside Nigeria? I can figure out that there are favorites here though that live abroad. Anyways sorry for going OT. Was just mildly curious.

tensor777:

There really is no problem. Its just that there is a yawning difference in culture as between a country like Nigeria and a country like Germany.
So some of your questions and comments do inevitably reflect that difference. Its totally understandable.

bawomolo:

you know it's all jokes right.

mädchen:

It's mild sarcasm , I won't say jokes! Noticed it from the beginning of this thread, that I have actively followed.

Uyi Iredia:

>>> some clarity, on what u mean, via examples
[

Uyi Iredia link=topic=511646.msg6810410#msg6810410 date=1285271867:

>>> some clarity, on what u mean, via examples

It will take a while to go back and note them. don't have a problem with this though. However, 'some clarity via examples' will be nice for Tensor to produce which highlights the 'yawning difference between the Nigerian culture and that of Germany my comments and questions show'

mädchen:

Is there a problem on nairaland if you live outside Nigeria? I'm getting some negative vibes, directed towards some people living outside Nigeria? I can figure out that there are favorites here though that live abroad. Anyways sorry for going OT. Was just mildly curious.

oyb:

reflecting - we say its love but i think it may also be a case of the game of my pikin is better than yours carried to extremes

tollu:

I think some of our parents were somewaht sick.

I used to think I was alone in this thing but this thread has opened up my eyes. Still on page 7 so can't make a full comment just yet.

tollu:

Finally made it to the end and phew . . .

When I started reading, I couldnt wait to post my onw experiences but right now, I'm not sure that would be a good idea.
To everyone who has been bold enough to share, I say THANK YOU. You may have no idea the kind of semi closure your words have brought to people but rest assured, your words have gone a long way.

No such thing as love for some of these parents man. No such thing.

I guess in all we should still thank God for the kind of parents we had. They had their positives and negatives. I would wish he communicated more rather than flog but I would still take him in his brutal ways than have a non-existing dad, jail-bird dad, a serial drunkard, wife-beater,multiple-kids-from different women dad or womaniser.

I learnt a lot in my moments of solitude which included learning all the countries of the world and their capital by age 9. I still remember till today

Most times when my dad is not home I would just take a ball and start raising it by myself and play table soccer My right hand vs my left hand.

I still don't understand how my parents were able to feed 4 children with that kind of salary they got. While in Nigeria,

My brothers and i would play unofficial world cup tournaments with fanta/coke/sprite metal covers all day! You dared not step outside the house doors, if you were caught na God go save you that day.

^^ You were lucky you had brother who were close to your age that you could play with.

One thing my dad says it (A ki gbe ile eni ki a fi orun ro) You cant stand in your house and get into trouble.

tollu:



Now I'm not asking anybody te tell me "I love you", just don't

- Take out all you fraustrations on me cos u broke up with your husband
- Don't beat me to stupor just cos I "stole panla" from the pot on my birthday
- Don't accuse me of being a witch just cos I look like my paternal grandmother (LOL)
- Don't smack me senseless cos a cousin took pictures of me n my younger siblings
- Don't whip me with your tongue at any given opportunity



I cannot honestly say I love my mum. I understand her? Now I do but the damage is done.

dayokanu:

I also had the responsibility of teaching my younger ones school work during holidays.

I would conduct fake exams, Make report card(and design it) for my sisters. When my dad came for the weekend he would tell them to go and bring all what I thought them.
He would check what i thought them and my teaching methods before asking me how many chapters of Lacombes, National Common Entrace by Odiaka, New general maths, Further Maths Project, Nelkon, Abbott, Ababio, Stone and Cozen Biology I was able to complete in the week (With a stern face).

My mom who was a teacher I would help her to mark her students script, grade her students, (When she was getting her higher degree, I would help her to write her notes) Its not easy to be a first born boy

ugsh:

My parents those days were terrible., but i wont talk about what they did to me because I was stubborn and they did it for my own good. BUT SOME OTHER PARENTS I KNEW BACK THEN WERE EVIL!!!
The Ada and only girl of the house sustained the most injuries, she was only 11yrs old and her mom held her wrist down while she pounded her hand with a real hammer until it bled. She locked the door so no one heard their cries. She hit her elder brother's head on the concrete wall until he fainted. They told me they wished they had died.

I would admit that who I am today is partly a result of the discipline I received from my folks most especially my mum, Yes in the process our relationship sort of disintegrated and she is trying to get us to chat like best friends and I am so resistant to that, She gets me to say i love you but I am also resistant to that cos we dint grow up saying I love you so why now,

Elpieda:

Wow, I just read all 16 pages and had a variety of emotions run through me cos it just made me realize I was never alone, My dad never touched me cos he never believed in hitting a woman but my mum beat me wella.

Truth is am not as close to my mum as I want to be but someone said something to me. You alone can decide how you want to relate to your parents no matter how bad you were disciplined.

I would admit that who I am today is partly a result of the discipline I received from my folks most especially my mum, Yes in the process our relationship sort of disintegrated and she is trying to get us to chat like best friends and I am so resistant to that, She gets me to say i love you but I am also resistant to that cos we dint grow up saying I love you so why now,

Well the point I want to make is this. I will most definitely give my kids some good spanking when they mess up (definitely not in an abusive way). But I will make sure I also let them know how much I love them and hug and kiss them crazy and give them reasons why I spank them and not just leave them feeling hurt. That is what I will change about my mum and dad's parenting. They will beat you and not explain why they do what they do and just leave u hanging without hugging and showing affection after wards, Till date am scared of having a female child cos I don't want to end up having a shallow relationship with her where she doesn't tell me anything but as i said If I ever get a female child from day 1, she will know that I lovee her with everything and I will always make that VERBAL before it gets late,