I got married to my wife 3 years ago and the marriage is blessed with a baby girl. My wife took in during courtship and we decided to take the relationship to the next level, i took her home to meet my mum and she fell in love with my wife at first sight. Few months after the introduction we got married. Since then all have been well with the marriage until i started noticing my wife's uncanny feelings towards my family (esp my mum and younger sis). Last week, my wife and my sis had a little misunderstanding which i tried to settle between both of them, one night before going to bed i called her up for a brief discussion hence settle the rift between them. During the discussion my wife bluntly told me that there was something my mum and sis did to her that she will never forgive and forget. I was shocked!! ( this is a woman i go to church with every Sunday).

I told her to tell me what my mother did to her and she said it happened 3 years ago when she was 7 months pregnant when visited my mother. She was holding a mirror, which mistakenly fell down and broke into pieces, my mum told her to get a broom and sweep the broken pieces of mirror which she did. Now, my wife's pain is that my mother is so wicked to have watched and allowed her to bend down and sweep with her 7 months pregnancy because of that my hates her.

I was shocked to the marrows, i am still in shock because my mum loves my wife so much, she prays for us and often call my wife to check up on her. Please women/mothers in the house i wish to know if my mum was wrong cos am so confused about this.

Eeyah, really, unmhnm, so because of ordinary sweeping your wife hates your mother! If she ask her to grind pepper with grinding stone nkor I'm sure she will be crying right there lolz and forever hate her. Anyway she should just move on and forgive especially cos she's a Christian, though we are yet to know what kind of mother in-law she will eventually turn out to be

jombo21:
I got married to my wife 3 years ago and the marriage is blessed with a baby girl. My wife took in during courtship and we decided to take the relationship to the next level, i took her home to meet my mum and she fell in love with my wife at first sight. Few months after the introduction we got married. Since then all have been well with the marriage until i started noticing my wife's uncanny feelings towards my family (esp my mum and younger sis). Last week, my wife and my sis had a little misunderstanding which i tried to settle between both of them, one night before going to bed i called her up for a brief discussion hence settle the rift between them. During the discussion my wife bluntly told me that there was something my mum and sis did to her that she will never forgive and forget. I was shocked!! ( this is a woman i go to church with every Sunday).

I told her to tell me what my mother did to her and she said it happened 3 years ago when she was 7 months pregnant when visited my mother. She was holding a mirror, which mistakenly fell down and broke into pieces, my mum told her to get a broom and sweep the broken pieces of mirror which she did. Now, my wife's pain is that my mother is so wicked to have watched and allowed her to bend down and sweep with her 7 months pregnancy because of that my hates her.

I was shocked to the marrows, i am still in shock because my mum loves my wife so much, she prays for us and often call my wife to check up on her. Please women/mothers in the house i wish to know if my mum was wrong cos am so confused about this.

Hmmmm... You really need to get your wife off being childish

Why is your wife so hard on herself? If it were her mum that told her to sweep the floor won't she sweep it?

I'm sure your mum and sister would have forgotten about that small incident but here is she holding on to 3years issue.


I think she's always sleeping whenever your pastor is preaching that part of the Bible that says "Remember not the things of the past". Record it and add beat to it, let her put it on repeat

Una too get wahala for nairaland

jombo21:
Please women/mothers in the house i wish to know if my mum was wrong cos am so confused about this.

If you want to find out how right or how wrong something is, don't ask ONLY women.

Just like your wife, a lot women will judge a personal situation based on how it made/makes them feel.
Anything that makes her feel good has to be right, anything that hurts her feelings must be wrong; there's no rationale behind it.
Your mother in that exact same scenario feels what she did is right, and your wife feels otherwise.

As a son and a husband, how did you access the situation?

First thing I would want to know is exactly how (tone) your mother told her to sweep the broken glass. Was it commanding, was it gentle, what words did she use?

Second thing I would want to know is what your wife did immediately the mirror fell, did she act like nothing happened and was going about her business, or immediately felt remorse and instinctively (forgetting she was 7months heavy) rush to get a broom?

Either way and whichever answers you get, the broken pieces of glass MUST be swept off the floor.
The important question remains, who amongst both of them should be responsible for doing it assuming there was no one else around that could have been sent to do it? I'm sure you know the answer already at this point.

Being 7months pregnant is not enough reason to have hurt feelings over clearing up glass that fell from your own hands.

my dear, my sister's own is so laughable that i feel so ashamed to write it here

Florblu:
Why is your wife so hard on herself? If it were her mum that told her to sweep the floor won't she sweep it?

I'm sure your mum and sister would have forgotten about that small incident but here is she holding on to 3years issue.


I think she's always sleeping whenever your pastor is preaching that part of the Bible that says "Remember not the things of the past". Record it and add beat to it, let her put it on repeat

Some people are so funny, there is nothing to Forgive here. If she were at home when it happens and you were at work, will she wait for you to come and clean it? or maybe your mom shouted at her but Nigerian mothers shout all the time so it is almost no offence. I tire abeg

jombo21:
I got married to my wife 3 years ago and the marriage is blessed with a baby girl. My wife took in during courtship and we decided to take the relationship to the next level, i took her home to meet my mum and she fell in love with my wife at first sight. Few months after the introduction we got married. Since then all have been well with the marriage until i started noticing my wife's uncanny feelings towards my family (esp my mum and younger sis). Last week, my wife and my sis had a little misunderstanding which i tried to settle between both of them, one night before going to bed i called her up for a brief discussion hence settle the rift between them. During the discussion my wife bluntly told me that there was something my mum and sis did to her that she will never forgive and forget. I was shocked!! ( this is a woman i go to church with every Sunday).

I told her to tell me what my mother did to her and she said it happened 3 years ago when she was 7 months pregnant when visited my mother. She was holding a mirror, which mistakenly fell down and broke into pieces, my mum told her to get a broom and sweep the broken pieces of mirror which she did. Now, my wife's pain is that my mother is so wicked to have watched and allowed her to bend down and sweep with her 7 months pregnancy because of that my hates her.

I was shocked to the marrows, i am still in shock because my mum loves my wife so much, she prays for us and often call my wife to check up on her. Please women/mothers in the house i wish to know if my mum was wrong cos am so confused about this.

While I understand your wife's pain, she should forgive her and let go.

I doubt a biological mother would watch her 7 month pregnant daughter sweep shrads of glass off the floor.

Thanks so much, for your contribution. i wasn't there when it happened, though my wife told me about it sometime ago but i never took it serious, i never knew she ve been in pains about it all these years until last week. I dont know the tone at which my mum used in telling her that, and i dont wish to ask her how it happened because it will deeply hurt her, because i know how much she loves my wife

crackhaus:

If you want to find out how right or how wrong something is, don't ask ONLY women.

Just like your wife, a lot women will judge a personal situation based on how it made/makes them feel.
Anything that makes her feel good has to be right, anything that hurts her feelings must be wrong; there's no rationale behind it.
Your mother in that exact same scenario feels what she did is right, and your wife feels otherwise.

As a son and a husband, how did you access the situation?

First thing I would want to know is exactly how (tone) your mother told her to sweep the broken glass. Was it commanding, was it gentle, what words did she use?

Second thing I would want to know is what your wife did immediately the mirror fell, did she act like nothing happened and was going about her business, or immediately felt remorse and instinctively (forgetting she was 7months heavy) rush to get a broom?

Either way and whichever answers you get, the broken pieces of glass MUST be swept off the floor.
The important question remains, who amongst both of them should be responsible for doing it assuming there was no one else around that could have been sent to do it? I'm sure you know the answer already at this point.

Being 7months pregnant is not enough reason to have hurt feelings over clearing up glass that fell from your own hands.

crackhaus:

If you want to find out how right or how wrong something is, don't ask ONLY women.

Just like your wife, a lot women will judge a personal situation based on how it made/makes them feel.
Anything that makes her feel good has to be right, anything that hurts her feelings must be wrong; there's no rationale behind it.
Your mother in that exact same scenario feels what she did is right, and your wife feels otherwise.

As a son and a husband, how did you access the situation?

First thing I would want to know is exactly how (tone) your mother told her to sweep the broken glass. Was it commanding, was it gentle, what words did she use?

Second thing I would want to know is what your wife did immediately the mirror fell, did she act like nothing happened and was going about her business, or immediately felt remorse and instinctively (forgetting she was 7months heavy) rush to get a broom?

Either way and whichever answers you get, the broken pieces of glass MUST be swept off the floor.
The important question remains, who amongst both of them should be responsible for doing it assuming there was no one else around that could have been sent to do it? I'm sure you know the answer already at this point.

Being 7months pregnant is not enough reason to have hurt feelings over clearing up glass that fell from your own hands.

If it was her own daughter, she wouldn't watch her sweep the glass off the floor whether it fell from her hands or not.

And only very few people (men & women) are objective enough to judge matters irrespective of how it made them feel.

It's not mere issue of broken glass, i believe there's more to it than what she_ (your wife) explained to you.

VILLAGE PEOPLE AT WORK!!!

jombo21:
my dear, my sister's own is so laughable that i feel so ashamed to write it here

Find a way of talking them out of this trivial issue before it becomes uncontrollable

This is not a cogent reason, ask her if they're other things that had happened in the past if not, let her better ask God to remove the spirit of unforgiveness and bitterness from her.

Sooner or later if she sees you aren't supporting her on that, she might transfer the anger to you, and start misbehaving.

oginga:
It's not mere issue of broken glass, i believe there's more to it than what she_ (your wife) explained to you.

I agree with this.


@OP, She is not telling you the real thing. She has other grudges against your mom.


Fear women!!!

jombo21:
I got married to my wife 3 years ago and the marriage is blessed with a baby girl. My wife took in during courtship and we decided to take the relationship to the next level, i took her home to meet my mum and she fell in love with my wife at first sight. Few months after the introduction we got married. Since then all have been well with the marriage until i started noticing my wife's uncanny feelings towards my family (esp my mum and younger sis). Last week, my wife and my sis had a little misunderstanding which i tried to settle between both of them, one night before going to bed i called her up for a brief discussion hence settle the rift between them. During the discussion my wife bluntly told me that there.
I was shocked to the marrows, i am still in shock because my mum loves my wife so much, she prays for us and often call my wife to check up on her. Please women/mothers in the house i wish to know if my mum was wrong cos am so confused about this.

Will your mother have allowed your 7 months pregnant sister sweep while at that stage?

Please be objective and think about this. Just talk your wife into forgiving your mum, but please don’t trivialize the issue. It must have really hurt her, my aunt was heavily pregnant even at 6months and couldn’t even tie her shoe laces, so imagine a 7months pregnant woman.

Hey, nobody is perfect whether our own moms or somebody else's.

Depends on what type of pregnancy she had but for some at 7 months, they are even on bed rest. If there are other people around the house, mama should have asked them to sweep instead but your wife needs to get over that especially since your mother has been loving to her all these time.

What should wives with MILs from hell do? She is lucky o and she needs to be thankful for that. This grudge seems very childish and a sign of joblessness. Like a case of somebody making up problems where they don't exist. God help us.

take only men advice in here and you'll be alright

.. that you think it is a small issue is laughable!!.. marriages have broken for far less.. be wise!!

lilmax:
take only men advice in here and you'll be alright

You're laughable

u have to sit her down and talk her into forgiving your mother, beg her and apologise on behalf of your mother. Apart from her bending which could be so difficult due to her big stomach, she might at that time be experiencing some pain or discomfort which could cause the mirror dropping from her hand. My sister pregnancy wasn't easy at all, she had to even live with us cos of d husband's busy schedule, as old as my mum is, she was worried for her case because it's pain after pain for her till few days to delivery, so imagine her breaking a mirror and my mum asking her to sweep, that is wickedness! yes, your mum may not know how she's feeling from d inside especially d first pregnancy ish, but u can't judge her by saying she's a Christian blablabla. She was seriously hurt and most "hurt" from people we love or we r close to pain a lot. I think God wants it to be settled that's y she voiced out, and u are in the best position to say sorry. I guess if it was ur father, she wouldn't have been angry, I think she's angry because ur mum is a woman who knows how pregnancy is.

Your wife is such a brat! no vex! So if her mom had asked her to sweep at 9month, she would hold it against her forever? No be her fault, the women who handle their chores all through pregnancies by themselves don't have more than 1 head! Iranu. You better embrace Christianity more...at least it helps reform peoples had behavior.

Whew...no vex fa.

All these stories are beginning to sound similar and contrived. Mscheeeeeeeew

My dear i ve sat her down so many times begging to let go of any grudges, my wife is a very prideful woman, since i married her she hardly or ve never said sorry to me when wrong, she ve never agreed that she ve hurt someone before. our last quarrel was on january this year. We have to involve her pastor. The woman came to our house to make peace, she told my wife to apologise to me but my wife blatantly refused till this day. I have to say sorry her to her for peace to rain. She always boast of keeping malice till eternity.

Bluette:
u have to sit her down and talk her into forgiving your mother, beg her and apologise on behalf of your mother. Apart from her bending which could be so difficult due to her big stomach, she might at that time be experiencing some pain or discomfort which could cause the mirror dropping from her hand. My sister pregnancy wasn't easy at all, she had to even live with us cos of d husband's busy schedule, as old as my mum is, she was worried for her case because it's pain after pain for her till few days to delivery, so imagine her breaking a mirror and my mum asking her to sweep, that is wickedness! yes, your mum may not know how she's feeling from d inside especially d first pregnancy ish, but u can't judge her by saying she's a Christian blablabla. She was seriously hurt and most "hurt" from people we love or we r close to pain a lot. I think God wants it to be settled that's y she voiced out, and u are in the best position to say sorry. I guess if it was ur father, she wouldn't have been angry, I think she's angry because ur mum is a woman who knows how pregnancy is.

�

Your wife is a fvcking as.shole, an ingrate and an utterly disgraceful cunthole. Pardon my language.
When I was 9 month gone with my first child, I Knock over and broke my glass drinking jug in the presence of the whole family, i ran and got broom and swept the dirts without fuss. They were like "nne gimme that, gimme that, lemme help " but no way, I am not having that. I was ashamed of myself for spoiling something at my age talk more of in front of my in laws.

Your ingrate of a wife wanted to be treated like royalty for spoiling something instead of rushing to clean up the mess before it injure someone. She is lucky I am not the sister in law, she would've seen hell.

jombo21:
My dear i ve sat her down so many times begging to let go of any grudges, my wife is a very prideful woman, since i married her she hardly or ve never said sorry to me when wrong, she ve never agreed that she ve hurt someone before. our last quarrel was on january this year. We have to involve her pastor. The woman came to our house to make peace, she told my wife to apologise to me but my wife blatantly refused till this day. I have to say sorry her to her for peace to rain. She always boast of keeping malice till eternity.

I understand sir, and I know u want it settled. continue to pray for her brother, but still it's ur marriage, and u r married to her, so if it's sorry that will settle d rift, say it but point out her errors to her and overlook it. God be with your marriage. and please don't listen to those saying if it's 2 months or 9months o.. our body differs and reacts differently when pregnant. There are cases of those who got pregnant and became hypertensive, some carried pregnancy with ulcers et al, so u see why u can't compare someone's preg condition to another. God will give u the wisdom to settle it.

bukatyne:


If it was her own daughter, she wouldn't watch her sweep the glass off the floor whether it fell from her hands or not.

If she had made a move to sweep immediately the accident occurred, do you think her mother-in-law would have let her continue or not?

JoannaSedley:
Your wife is a fvcking as.shole, an ingrate and an utterly disgraceful cunthole. Pardon my language.
When I was 9 month gone with my first child, I Knock over and broke my glass drinking jug in the presence of the whole family, i ran and got broom and swept the dirts without fuss. They were like "nne gimme that, gimme that, lemme help " but no way, I am not having that. I was ashamed of myself for spoiling something at my age talk more of in front of my in laws.

Your ingrate of a wife wanted to be treated like royalty for spoiling something instead of rushing to clean up the mess before it injure someone. She is lucky I am not the sister in law, she would've seen hell.

@bukatyne,
This is the context my question to you seeks to address.

It also explains what I meant by this bit in my first comment:
Second thing I would want to know is what your wife did immediately the mirror fell, did she act like nothing happened and was going about her business, or immediately felt remorse and instinctively (forgetting she was 7months heavy) rush to get a broom?

bukatyne:

And only very few people (men & women) are objective enough to judge matters irrespective of how it made them feel.

Talk for another day.

crackhaus:

If she had made a move to sweep immediately the accident occurred, do you think her mother-in-law would have let her continue or not?




@bukatyne,
This is the context my question to you seeks to address.

It also explains what I meant by this bit in my first comment:
Second thing I would want to know is what your wife did immediately the mirror fell, did she act like nothing happened and was going about her business, or immediately felt remorse and instinctively (forgetting she was 7months heavy) rush to get a broom?

The crux of the matter!!. What is there if she cleaned up her mess. ?
What then will happen at 9 months, she will expect them to wait on her? Compound ingrate.
Will she hate her mum for doing same? This fictional wife just pissed me the hell off this evening.