When my little brother (3 years younger than me) called me in tears, asking if he could move in with me and my new bride, I said yes. I had also had my share of family drama and thought he just needed a safe place to land until he could get himself together.

That ended up lasting about 10 years!! During that time, I fed and housed him, pretty much free of charge. I had initially told him I would cover him until he could get a job, and then I would charge him the whopping fee of $30 every 2 weeks, to cover the increase in utility and food bills, so that he could save up to get his own place. My initial plan was to just bank the money he gave me, and then when he looked as if he was ready to move out, give it to him to help set up house. He proceeded to NOT get a job, sleep in every day, and ate everything that wasn’t locked up. We literally had to get a big, lockable box to keep food in, so we could eat without him taking it all.

He gets a girlfriend. Great, maybe she can get him off his ass and make him get a job. No such luck. He asks me if he can move her in with him. Of course, I say no, since he’s already costing me money as it is. He then proceeds to move her in anyway, along with her young child. After 2 or 3 days of noticing they are in my house all the time, I figure it out. When I sit both of them down and ask about it, she starts screaming about how I take all his money for my beer. Huh Apparently he has told her that I am charging him $500 a month, and he’s broke after paying. Um…no. He’s spending all his money (by then he had a part-time job, but nowhere near enough to afford his own apt) on pot and fast food, and telling her these lies to cover it.

They end up splitting up, and he is still in my back bedroom. I find out he stole money from my then 2 yr old son’s piggy bank, and go ballistic. I charged into his room, jumped on him, and start flailing, screaming “you stole money from my kid?? After I supported your lazy ass all this time?” The wife comes up and breaks it up, and I tell him “You have 5 minutes to get the Bleep outta my house”. The wife then begs and pleads for me not to kick him out, he has no place to go, etc etc. I finally relent and let him stay.

I tried everything to get him in position to be on his own. I offered to teach him HTML and some other stuff to make him employable, back when anyone who had a pulse and knew rudimentary HTML could get a $50k a year position. He couldn’t be bothered. I got him several jobs, none of which he kept. I gave up on getting any kind of money from him. Every time I got fed up and wanted to kick him out, she intervened (she was way too much of a soft touch).

Finally, he meets another woman and they end up married. Great, now he finally moves out. She puts up with his BS for about 6 months before filing for divorce. He knows better than to try to come back here, so he ends up moving back home with Mom, where he promptly steals over $10,000 in cash (Mom owned rental properties, and tenants often paid in cash, so she generally had a bunch of cash in the house). When questioned about it, he admits to stealing it, and can’t even remember what he spent it on. I begged her to press charges, thinking maybe a few months in jail might shock him into getting his act together, but she can’t bring herself to do it.

He bails on her and ends up back in my city, living with his former brother-in-law. I only found out he was there because he called our mother in tears, asking for her to wire him money because he’s broke and hungry. I tell her not to do that, and get the address where he is living. I told her I would buy him groceries and bring them, but do NOT send him money. I bought about $200 worth of groceries, enough to feed himself for a month, and delivered them, telling him this is a one-time thing, and to get his shit together and get a job. I told him if he proved he got a job, I would loan him the money for a monthly transit pass to get back and forth until he got paid.

He then proceeds to not get a job, as usual. By now, we are all done with him. He has taken advantage of me for years, he stole all that money from Mom, he moved in with our other brother and his wife and took advantage of them, too, and now, we’re done. Sink or swim time.

Enter the soft-touch wife. She thinks I should give him another chance. Apparently he called her and got her to believe his latest sob story. Stupidly, I agree. So he’s back again.

2 weeks after that, he asks her to drive him somewhere about a job. Of course, she agrees. When they get back I can see she’s upset, but she blows it off and I let it go.

Finally, about a week later, I find out that when they were in the car, he made several passes at her. That was the final straw. I tell her to stay the hell out of this, and throw his ass out. I had to get a rifle from the closet and lean it against the wall in his bedroom and watch him pack his shit. He couldn’t seem to understand why I was even upset. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that she was the only reason he got a free ride all those years, and there was no way I was going to let him disrespect her and me that way.

There are certain lines you don’t cross, and hitting on your brother’s wife is way across that line. He left, and I haven’t seen him since. About a year ago, she convinced me to reach out to him and let bygones be bygones. I tried, and find out that apparently it was all my fault he couldn’t get his act together, since I was always pressuring him to get a job and grow up. Whatever. I washed my hands of it at that point and haven’t communicated with him since.

Culled from Quora: https://www.quora.com/Has-a-family-member-ever-done-something-that-was-unforgivable-What-was-it-and-could-you-ever-forgive-them/answer/Chris-Meier-1?ch=10&share=00642b35&srid=DI5Yy

It's a family matter. How you guys settles it is not my concern. If u like don't forgive him.


I
Don't
Give
A
Hoot

The person above doesn't care but he just had to comment, Nairalanders.

OP, the brother is better loved from a distance.

You have to forgive him because the bible teaches us about forgiveness.

federal9:
You have to forgive him because the bible teaches us about forgiveness.

7 times 70 times to be precise, but you might find it difficult to keep counting after he sells you for body parts.

I can't say I blame you

I've learned over time that the saying "blood is thicker than water" is a scam.

Your blood is anyone who treats you the way they would like to be treated, with love, with respect, always rooting for you and just want to see you win.

What kind of brother is that?

I no dey kuku tey before I kick out yeye people from my life.

I don't want stress at all.

Don't try to be a saviour. Remember that sentence anytime you want to jump into a scenario like this.

federal9:
You have to forgive him because the bible teaches us about forgiveness.

The person you're giving this your advice is not on Nairaland, Oga can't you see the link the story was copied from

Romanoff:
I've learned over time that the saying "blood is thicker than water" is a scam.

Your blood is anyone who treats you the way they would like to be treated, with love, with respect, always rooting for you and just want to see you win.

What kind of brother is that?

I no dey kuku tey before I kick out yeye people from my life.

I don't want stress at all.

Yinmu...if na me nko?

So many stories like that.
The fault is on the elder brother.
If after few months you realise your relative is not serious like that, you chase him out. Particularly in a modern country where jobs dey everywhere.

I read some stories about parent that chased their unserious adult son out to go and struggle.
A woman sold her house to achieve that.

Summary

federal9:
You have to forgive him because the bible teaches us about forgiveness.

Will you please shut up!
A brother makes a pass @ ur wife.
An unrepentant thief who steals even from the little nephew,
A drug addict.
Shut the heck up again!!
The next thing he's gonna do if given the chance is to kill the dude, inherit the wife as a trophy, intimidate the mom and enslave the nephew.
Be real & attend to issues logically & not emotionally.
Shut up again, please!

Babaibeji2020:

Will you please shut up!
A brother makes a pass @ ur wife.
An repentant thief who steals even from the little nephew,
A drug addict.
Shut the heck up again!!
The next thing he's gonna do if given the chance is to kill the dude, inherit the wife as a trophy, intimidate the mom and enslave the nephew.
Be real & attend to issues logically & not emotionally.
Shut up again, please!

You need to work on your manners.

Forgive but make never involve yourself with him in any way.

A brother that makes passes at your wife can kill you in cold blood. Don’t jeopardize your well being in the name of family, na you carry am for head; he clearly doesn’t give a shi* about you.

Stay far away from that your brother, don’t allow near your house or anything you represent.

Babaibeji2020:

Will you please shut up!
A brother makes a pass @ ur wife.
An repentant thief who steals even from the little nephew,
A drug addict.
Shut the heck up again!!
The next thing he's gonna do if given the chance is to kill the dude, inherit the wife as a trophy, intimidate the mom and enslave the nephew.
Be real & attend to issues logically & not emotionally.
Shut up again, please!

@The bolded, honestly saw your comment after i dropped my post. I am sure the @OP won’t want to believe us that is brother is capable of such. May God grant him safety.

A word is enough for the wise.

federal9:


You need to work on your manners.

Yeah, thanks.
Try working on your mindset!
Don't sound ridiculous just because of religious ideologies. Do try to allow common sense take predominance over blind fanatism.
Don't allow people die or suffer due to your ill advice. This generation have taken the grace of atonement of sins by Christ for granted. People intentionally kill & commit atrocities of terrible proportions, only to later profess repentance. For your information, the was a reason for mosaic laws, an eye 4 an eye! Humans had become terrible just as obtained now. I don't forgive anymore, street is strict!
If you intentionally hurt me, I'm gonna so hurt you that you won't Ever be able to hurt me or mine, death is not excluded from the array of hurts