Really, really shit situation.

2 months ago, my GF was raped. It was done in a park. She didn't want to report it and went into a full breakdown, wouldn't speak to police, go to hospital etc. I couldn't force her, so I just stayed with her.

She was, obviously, in a really shit state since, and I've been with her, by her side, listening to her, helping her. We went to therapy, and she knows I'm there for her. She has a history of depression, and I've been really worried.

Last week, we found out she was pregnant. I was abroad for 2 months before the rape on work, and can back early to care for her. So the baby definitely isn't mine. She is 100% sure it's the rapist's.

So we had a discussion. She is a devout Catholic. We initially decided on a abortion, but after she speak to her Mother, she has decided to keep the baby, saying that isn't the baby's fault.

I flat out told her that I would not help raise a baby of a guy who raped her. She cried and begged me not to leave. I told she is the one making the choice - either she keeps the baby and I leave, or she aborts the baby and I stay. I would not let this go.

She didn't want either of those things to happen, so I told her we were done...

I feel shit. Was i wrong?

Na wah. One of those threads you just don’t know what to say/advice.

Space booked•

Meanwhile instagram page with 17k followers for sale, check my signature if you're interested

Only God understands what we know nothing about .

You are right. Why exactly on Earth, in heaven or hell will she want to keep an unplanned unwanted product of a rape?? Does she think birthing the baby will help her recover or is some sort of twisted compensation??
Does she not realize that as long as the pregnancy is kept, there will always be a rift between you two and a constant reminder of an incident that is best forgotten??

Op, I am sure she's in this state because she is religious and has the mindset of "God knows why this happened, God knows what he's using this baby for, blablabla". If this is the case, tell her God doesn't support or reward rape

PS: The only valid reason she could possibly have is the risk of something going wrong with the abortion, thereby affecting her chances of giving birth later. Any other reason is trash

Hmm!! Was she really raped?

khiaa:
Hmm!! Was she really raped?

mrs doubtfire!

This kind Topic, walai i have no Idea what to say, number 1. she has the right to keep the baby
2. you have the right to leave her cos you cant raise a rapist baby. So lemme leave the experts to talk.

to me, the real question should be was she really raped? how can some1 be raped and u dnt want to take anystep against the rapist, all u want to do is to keep d product of such act. my guy be wise oh, nor join d 30% of nigeria men fathering anoda man's baby,

oduademonest:
Really, really shit situation.

2 months ago, my GF was raped. It was done in a park. She didn't want to report it and went into a full breakdown, wouldn't speak to police, go to hospital etc. I couldn't force her, so I just stayed with her.

She was, obviously, in a really shit state since, and I've been with her, by her side, listening to her, helping her. We went to therapy, and she knows I'm there for her. She has a history of depression, and I've been really worried.

Last week, we found out she was pregnant. I was abroad for 2 months before the rape on work, and can back early to care for her. So the baby definitely isn't mine. She is 100% sure it's the rapist's.

So we had a discussion. She is a devout Catholic. We initially decided on a abortion, but after she speak to her Mother, she has decided to keep the baby, saying that isn't the baby's fault.

I flat out told her that I would not help raise a baby of a guy who raped her. She cried and begged me not to leave. I told she is the one making the choice - either she keeps the baby and I leave, or she aborts the baby and I stay. I would not let this go.

She didn't want either of those things to happen, so I told her we were done...

I feel shit. Was i wrong?

You did the right thing. She was raped and she didn't go to hospital for check up for stds, bruises etc She didn't use contraceptive for unwanted preggy........Just free her gullibility

I cant believe someone can be this stupid o. First thing after rape is to take contraceptive and go for checkup.
Maybe the guy who did it is more handsome than the bf lol

This is terrible, she should have gone to the hospital but as it stands, that baby has committed no sin to be given the death sentence. You say you love her but this is the time to prove it and you are chickening out, you don't have to be a father to the child if you don't want to but don't force her into a decision she doesn't want to make. When the child comes, she can leave him or her with her parents and you continue with your lives. Don't forsake her at this time when she needs you the most

What happened to Postinor2 or PostPill?, the last I check, its just N300.
The girl was just too daft, how can u be raped and u don't rush to take contraceptive within 3 to 4 days?

falcon01:
mrs doubtfire!

This kind Topic, walai i have no Idea what to say, number 1. she has the right to keep the baby
2. you have the right to leave her cos you cant raise a rapist baby. So lemme leave the experts to talk.

I find it strange that she didn't want the police involved. It sounds like a story she concocted because she got caught up while he was gone.

Apination:
This is terrible, she should have gone to the hospital but as it stands, that baby has committed no sin to be given the death sentence. You say you love her but this is the time to prove it and you are chickening out, you don't have to be a father to the child if you don't want to but don't force her into a decision she doesn't want to make. When the child comes, she can leave him or her with her parents and you continue with your lives. Don't forsake her at this time when she needs you the most

story

you are both right....it will be naive and stvpid of you to father a rapist child..it will also go against her religion to abort the baby..she may also be afraid of compliications during abortion...she was daft not to go for medical checkup immediately she was raped or report to the cops


My opinion
1.she may be lying about the rape,she may have cheated on you with a sharp guy

2.she may actually be raped but indecisive



best solution

If she sticks to her decision,pray for her and move on...never,I repeat never father a child that is not yours especially if it was bore through rape..bless you

Selfish decision by you, upon all the help you claim to help her heal from the rape trauma you made it worse by this single act, you didn't if consider the health risk in abortion

Deepfeel:
Selfish decision by you, upon all the help you claim to help her heal from the rape trauma you made it worse by this single act, you didn't if consider the health risk in abortion

Bros, can you father a child that was conceived via rape?

DonEd:

Bros, can you father a child that was conceived via rape?

No one is forcing him to father the child, why not allow her to give birth to the child after that the child should be up for adoption or the child should be with the ladies mother, and everything will be normal,
Answer to your question yes I can father a child conceived via rape it's not a big deal people adopt children from war zones, prostitutes etc

I don't believe this shit.
This kind of story can only happen around 90's or early 2000's. Definitely not now.

To the ladies reading my post, incase you are raped, the first go to the hospital to receive PEP. They can also give you post-intercourse contraceptive. These two prevents occurrence of HIV or pregnancy, which are the most severe rape related complications.

You did the right thing, If she's not ready to abort the child then dump her immediately.
That woman is a dullard and a liability

Maybe she was looking for a baby because she ought to have reported. I mean somebody raped you in the course he deposited seeds into you. And you thought it wise not to report to the police and the hospital. Not reporting to the police is fine but not reporting to the hospital where they will try and deactivate or remove the semen is unwise

khiaa:
Hmm!! Was she really raped?

good question . because I think if she really was she would have done something to flush the whole thing off her system immediately.

anochuko01:
I cant believe someone can be this stupid o.
First thing after rape is to take contraceptive and go for checkup.

Maybe the guy who did it is more handsome than the bf lol

I pray you'll never find yourself in that situation

Apination:
This is terrible, she should have gone to the hospital but as it stands, that baby has committed no sin to be given the death sentence. You say you love her but this is the time to prove it and you are chickening out, you don't have to be a father to the child if you don't want to but don't force her into a decision she doesn't want to make. When the child comes, she can leave him or her with her parents and you continue with your lives. Don't forsake her at this time when she needs you the most

Lol

Seriously?

This thing u said can u do it?

Amandobolt:
What happened to Postinor2 or PostPill?, the last I check, its just N300.
The girl was just too daft, how can u be raped and u don't rush to take contraceptive within 3 to 4 days?

Remember she's a devout Catholic. Catholics don't believe in contraception.

Deepfeel:

No one is forcing him to father the child, why not allow her to give birth to the child after that the child should be up for adoption or the child should be with the ladies mother, and everything will be normal,
Answer to your question yes I can father a child conceived via rape it's not a big deal people adopt children from war zones, prostitutes etc

Does she look like she wants to give the child up for adoption? If she refuses to give the baby up would that be the best time for him to leave her?

oga stop copying and paste without citing reference
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/bkft0r/my_gf_was_raped_and_became_pregnant_i_broke_up/

This is really messed up situation sha. Don't know what to say.

Sally97:

I pray you'll never find yourself in that situation

well, i already did...she was taken to a specialist hospital for checkup and councelling. The last thing anyone wants is a child born out of rape.

I still DONT BELIEVE the story anyways.

Nuklex:
good question . because I think if she really was she would have done something to flush the whole thing off her system immediately.

If she was raped why didn't she want to involve the police, that's the thing I don't understand?

I read it all but truly, d girl s hiding some truth to her guy... cos she can't b rape & she decide to keep it secrete from police, hospital ... upon all d infections that's everywhere..4 me, I will try my best but won't sex or marry her ...if she can endanger her life. as 4 d child, she can kp d child.. but s she a Jehovah witness type ?

The way some men reason these days enh Even heaven is ashamed of them.
Frankly speaking, she was NOT raped. Na format she dey use for u @OP . its better u use your Head before someone else uses it for you. In this day and age, how can someone be raped and decide not to do anything about it. No police report, no contraceptive, no flushing and wants to KEEP the Baby.......
OP u better end that relationship fast before your life ends in the drains...
Remember, 30% of Men are fathering Bastards, these Hoes are something else these days.