Deepfeel:

Feeling what just saying it like it is, a typical Nigerian tradition will say its wrong to father a child who's not biologically yours it's a taboo to father a child that's a product of rape, it's wrong to marry outside your tribe it's wrong to marry outside your religion etc typical people enslaved by tradition and religion

why are u in pains?..it is his decision ..so let him be

babyfaceafrica:
why are u in pains?..it is his decision ..so let him be

Am not in pains, I should let him be? He brought it to a public forum to hear what others have to say right

The guy has alway been on his way out of the relationship.in this forum I have read countless cases of a man claiming to have impregnated another lady while he was still married and alot of peaple supports his action of bringing the child home which I believe is the right thing because the child has not wronged anyone.
The above sinario could be applied here.wost case could be they give up the child for adoption.alot of couple are out there praying for this opportunity to adopt a child they can call their own.
The term love if truly applied is good which nothing greater can be conceived of.

If this story is not fake, then she wanted the baby or wasn't rape.
The first thing any sensible lady would do in case of rape is to prevent pregnancy.

Deepfeel:

Lol typical Nigerian enslaved by tradition

How have the African-Americans who are free from traditions fare better?
Want to know a dying society?
The ones without traditions.

funmisticqueen:
no you are both right, but if you seriously love this girl, is it so bad to raise the child.

No, its not bad at all. Please where do you stay, so they can bring the child to your house to help raise him. You too can contribute.

Prognose:


Remember she's a devout Catholic. Catholics don't believe in contraception.

Catholics also don't believe in sex before marriage but she has been doing sex, obviously from the message, without qualms.

Hence, I see no reason she could not do an abortion based on religious beliefs. She managed the rape in confidence, why not manage abortion in confidence too.

Wallade:


Catholics also don't believe in sex before marriage but she has been doing sex, obviously from the message, without qualms.

Hence, I see no reason she could not do an abortion based on religious beliefs. She managed the rape in confidence, why not manage abortion in confidence too.

SHe was raped. We were not having intercourse

Princeofasia:
she is a hoe, she is not telling you what exactly happened. first what was she looking for in a secluded place in a park?
tell her t tell you the truth

Honestly, I believe there is more to the rape story than the fiance knows.

Xisnin:

How have the African-Americans who are free from traditions fare better?
Want to know a dying society?
The ones without traditions.

Who said African-americans are free from tradition, the negro mentality is still with them, typical African-americans are still in mental chains , most of them look down on their sisters or brothers who are married to White's

oduademonest:


SHe was raped. We were not having intercourse

I noted the rape you narrated earlier but I did not know you guys weren't having sex. I assumed you guys were doing sex when you calculated the pregnancy term and indicated you were abroad to confirm that it was not for you.

Anyway, I think you did the right thing to quit the relationship if she would not abort it.

I also think there is more to the rape story than you know.

Deepfeel:

Who said African-americans are free from tradition, the negro mentality is still with them

What is negro mentality?

typical African-americans are still in mental chains ,

Care to explain further?

most of them look down on their sisters or brothers who are married to White's

Where did you get your statistics from?
Some conservatives also see white liberals as traitors.
The people who don't look down on others usually don't
are not loyal to families and are breeding themselves out of existence.

Many African-Americans are free from the "shackles" of marriage. So, they engage in casual
sex and have most kids outside marriage. That has resulted in long-term disaster.

Xisnin:


What is negro mentality?



Care to explain further?


Where did you get your statistics from?
Some conservatives also see white liberals as traitors.
The people who don't look down on others usually don't
are not loyal to families and are breeding themselves out of existence.

Many African-Americans are free from the "shackles" of marriage. So, they engage in casual
sex and have most kids outside marriage. That has resulted in long-term disaster.

To answer your first two questions, lets look at what tradition is, a culture or part of culture that's passed from person to person or generation to generation family to family, right, now the African-americans might be free from the ancient African tradition we in Africa still practice, but the one they created for themselves during slavery or rather the one that was forcefully tossed on them by the whites to show a difference between negro slaves, and the white supremacy is still with the typical ones, a lot of them still hate the whites, there are certain lifestyle that African-americans consider a white man's lifestyle, from dress code, to accent the way the talk, typical blacks train their kids differently from the way a white man will do there certain characters African-americans posses that's different from the White, now everyone has a tradition no one is totally free from tradition but the one we practice here in Nigeria and the way we practice it has caused more harm than good

Wallade:


Catholics also don't believe in sex before marriage but she has been doing sex, obviously from the message, without qualms.

Hence, I see no reason she could not do an abortion based on religious beliefs. She managed the rape in confidence, why not manage abortion in confidence too.

Choi

Deepfeel:

Feeling what just saying it like it is, a typical Nigerian tradition will say its wrong to father a child who's not biologically yours it's a taboo to father a child that's a product of rape, it's wrong to marry outside your tribe it's wrong to marry outside your religion etc typical people enslaved by tradition and religion

I never mentioned prohibitions or tradition.

I just said you can't expect everyone to do such a thing, and that's the truth.

Refusing to raise a child that does belong to someone in no way makes them a coward. That's a fact.

Don't let your issues cloud your view of reality.

Next2Bezee:


I never mentioned prohibitions or tradition.

I just said you can't expect everyone to do such a thing, and that's the truth.

Refusing to raise a child that does belong to someone in no way makes them a coward. That's a fact.

Don't let your issues cloud your view of reality.

I called him a coward not really cause of tradition, I called him a coward cause of true love if really he loves that lady he will be man enough to face whatever challenge that comes their way, not by telling her to risk her health with abortion, or backing out like a coward, his a phony the love he had for her was fake,
And please I got no issues

crossfm:
The guy has alway been on his way out of the relationship.in this forum I have read countless cases of a man claiming to have impregnated another lady while he was still married and alot of peaple supports his action of bringing the child home which I believe is the right thing because the child has not wronged anyone.
The above sinario could be applied here.wost case could be they give up the child for adoption.alot of couple are out there praying for this opportunity to adopt a child they can call their own.
The term love if truly applied is good which nothing greater can be conceived of.

You are a real man my brother

Deepfeel:

I called him a coward not really cause of tradition, I called him a coward cause of true love if really he loves that lady he will be man enough to face whatever challenge that comes their way, not by telling her to risk her health with abortion, or backing out like a coward, his a phony the love he had for her was fake,
And please I got no issues

For the umpteenth time, it is folly to expect someone to spend the rest of their life in regret and sadness because of love.

Love is not a death sentence, bruh.

He is no coward.

Next2Bezee:


For the umpteenth time, it is folly to expect someone to spend the rest of their life in regret and sadness because of love.

Love is not a death sentence, bruh.

He is no coward.

I get the point love is not for everyone, simple

I think the Op made a wrong decision, if the lady was actually raped, then this is the time to really show that love that you have been professing, haba I stand with the lady on no to abortion why kill an innocent baby, mistakes that many people live with the regrets. I trust God will surely see her through

Deepfeel:

I get the point love is not for everyone, simple

Love Guru Deepfeel. I salute you

Next2Bezee:


Love Guru Deepfeel. I salute you

Lol sarcasm, keep the salute to yourself

oduademonest:
Really, really shit situation.

2 months ago, my GF was raped. It was done in a park. She didn't want to report it and went into a full breakdown, wouldn't speak to police, go to hospital etc. I couldn't force her, so I just stayed with her.

She was, obviously, in a really shit state since, and I've been with her, by her side, listening to her, helping her. We went to therapy, and she knows I'm there for her. She has a history of depression, and I've been really worried.

Last week, we found out she was pregnant. I was abroad for 2 months before the rape on work, and can back early to care for her. So the baby definitely isn't mine. She is 100% sure it's the rapist's.

So we had a discussion. She is a devout Catholic. We initially decided on a abortion, but after she speak to her Mother, she has decided to keep the baby, saying that isn't the baby's fault.

I flat out told her that I would not help raise a baby of a guy who raped her. She cried and begged me not to leave. I told she is the one making the choice - either she keeps the baby and I leave, or she aborts the baby and I stay. I would not let this go.

She didn't want either of those things to happen, so I told her we were done...

I feel shit. Was i wrong?

Your sure say them rape her

Deepfeel:

You are a real man my brother

thanks for the compliment bro.we really need to view things from somany angles before we draw our conclusion and put ourselves in other peaple shoe.

I feel for you man. Nobody prays for this kind of awkward situation. But when it happens, one must try so hard to forgive. You are right to leave from your personal point of view. But you have to consider every point of view.

1. It is not the child fault.
2. The child deserves to live.
3. You dont have right to kill.
4. Children born out of rape mostly are exceptional and gifted.
5. Love conquers every difficult situations.
6. The beauty of love is in giving.
7. Her decision to keep the child portrays a lady with a large heart and should be cherished not abandoned.

It is not wise to break up completely from her. Casual friendship is good. May be in the future, you might change your mind.

I wish you all the best my friend.

khiaa:


If she was raped why didn't she want to involve the police, that's the thing I don't understand?

If you were actually raped, the last thing you will want to do is to let people know talkless of telling the police, its easy to stay at home nd blame her bt it shouldnt be so

Eveezy:

If you were actually raped, the last thing you will want to do is to let people know talkless of telling the police, its easy to stay at home nd blame her bt it shouldnt be so

The first thing I would do is go to the hospital and get the morning after pill and get cleaned out. Then justice will be on my mind and heart resulting in me calling the police, giving the description and all the details required of me. Who's blaming her? I said I don't believe she was raped because of her actions. Who would want to have a rapist child and expect her boyfriend to support this child? When a woman is raped the first thing that will be on her mind besides diseases is pregnancy, and she knows that she must take immediate action if the pregnancy is not wanted.

khiaa:


The first thing I would do is go to the hospital and get the morning after pill and get cleaned out. Then justice will be on my mind and heart resulting in me calling the police, giving the description and all the details required of me. Who's blaming her? I said I don't believe she was raped because of her actions. Who would want to have a rapist child and expect her boyfriend to support this child? When a woman is raped the first thing that will be on her mind besides diseases is pregnancy, and she knows that she must take immediate action if the pregnancy is not wanted.

What you said is the logical thing to do but when faced with the real deal, logic goes to sleep, havent you been faced with situations were when it happens, you will be confused. Meanwhile u must have thought abt things like dt b4 nd what u would do in such situations? Bt on facing it, u were blank. A rape victim will be unable to take necessary action if the person she confides in doesnt take the necessary steps. You talk abt keeping the baby, do u think its her desire? If you were a strict catholic, you would know what she is going thru

Wallade:


Catholics also don't believe in sex before marriage but she has been doing sex, obviously from the message, without qualms.

Hence, I see no reason she could not do an abortion based on religious beliefs. She managed the rape in confidence, why not manage abortion in confidence too.

There is no christain doctrine that will surport fornication, so having sex is not a catholic thing.
The catholic church is strongly against abortion nd even the use of contraceptive(altho I find d use of any form of contraceptive hypocritical) but abortion is strongly kicked against, catholics also know that we are all humans and fall into temptation of sexual immorality, its adviceable to abstain from sex, if you cant face the consequences that comes with it which is child birth. That is the catholic belief on premarital sex, or adultery, abstain if you cant take full responsibility of the result.
In this case, the lady in question was raped, it wasnt a choice, but still she is accepting the consequences even tho it wasnt her choice

Eveezy:

There is no christain doctrine that will surport fornication, so having sex is not a catholic thing.
The catholic church is strongly against abortion nd even the use of contraceptive(altho I find d use of any form of contraceptive hypocritical) but abortion is strongly kicked against, catholics also know that we are all humans and fall into temptation of sexual immorality, its adviceable to abstain from sex, if you cant face the consequences that comes with it which is child birth. That is the catholic belief on premarital sex, or adultery, abstain if you cant take full responsibility of the result.
In this case, the lady in question was raped, it wasnt a choice, but still she is accepting the consequences even tho it wasnt her choice

Well, I get your sermon. She can live with the baby then. Her fiance can either walk away or get married to her and keep the baby. Life is about choices.

Eveezy:

What you said is the logical thing to do but when faced with the real deal, logic goes to sleep, havent you been faced with situations were when it happens, you will be confused. Meanwhile u must have thought abt things like dt b4 nd what u would do in such situations? Bt on facing it, u were blank. A rape victim will be unable to take necessary action if the person she confides in doesnt take the necessary steps. You talk abt keeping the baby, do u think its her desire? If you were a strict catholic, you would know what she is going thru

I'm sure she has sex with her boyfriend so you can throw the bolded out the window.

please don't be sentimental nd emotional cos if d child happen to b a terror in ur home or if she sef come die before u nd leave a rapist offspring for you .... I'm a geneticist so I know wat m saying