doitforyou:
hahahahaha what you just typed makes absolutely NO sense! you are speaking from both sides of your mouth. So you say marriage gives blanket consent then on another hand you are saying a wife can seek redress if she is physically injured in the course of an unwanted sexual contact. so if a husband wants to collect on a pre-consented sex because he is married (according to you) but for whatever reason the woman is not in the mood but he has his way with her anyway after-all the act is 'sanctioned' by God, what do you think will happen?

You are a very confused lol, I am happy that many people on this thread disagreed with you men AND women, please quit while you still have some dignity left. Most men aren't barbaric, they rather have sex with a wife that physically and emotionally wants them, not a wife that will just lay there on the bed and be emotionally removed from the act, because she has been brainwashed that she has no right to her own body.

doitforyou:
hahahahaha what you just typed makes absolutely NO sense! you are speaking from both sides of your mouth. So you say marriage gives blanket consent then on another hand you are saying a wife can seek redress if she is physically injured in the course of an unwanted sexual contact. so if a husband wants to collect on a pre-consented sex because he is married (according to you) but for whatever reason the woman is not in the mood but he has his way with her anyway after-all the act is 'sanctioned' by God, what do you think will happen?

You are a very confused lol, I am happy that many people on this thread disagreed with you men AND women, please quit while you still have some dignity left. Most men aren't barbaric, they rather have sex with a wife that physically and emotionally wants them, not a wife that will just lay there on the bed and be emotionally removed from the act, because she has been brainwashed that she has no right to her own body.

cococandy:

Yes that’s only a part not all of it
maybe some. And even expressive women will have their off days.



Bukatyne can we take a poll and ask how many men ejaculate without orgasm? (Except in cases of sexual dysfunction). Male ejaculation is male orgasm.

quivah:

This isn't entirely true.
A man can actually orgasm without ejaculation.
Ejaculation and Orgasm are really different and in fact, it's advised that men (as they grow older) learn to orgasm without ejaculation i.e practice non-ejaculatory sex.

So, male ejaculation is actually not male orgasm.

Xaos:
Marital rape isn't rape.
A man ejaculating is not same as orgasm.



This is a classic case of mental retardation.
Seek professional help OP.

quivah:

This isn't entirely true.
A man can actually orgasm without ejaculation.
Ejaculation and Orgasm are really different and in fact, it's advised that men (as they grow older) learn to orgasm without ejaculation i.e practice non-ejaculatory sex.

So, male ejaculation is actually not male orgasm.

SagePerv1:


Ejaculation is associated with orgasm.
Let those with the penis do the talking. Thank you.

bukatyne:


The thread has been deleted.

I tried refreshing it and I got the message.

Richy4:
I like this OP too much... Though I did not read your thread.. and based on the on going discussion here, I know that I wouldn't have been on the same page with u because I'm not a fan of forcing something on someone even if I have that right..

But the reason why I am writing this is to commend on the manners in which you were handling yourself and your argument without insulting anyone.. that's really classy.... Your manners is uncommon in any Nigerian forum. .. . what I have seen from the first to the third page is enough for a pretentious person to loose it...But no, u were still holding it together.. Pls keep that up dear...Good manners can take one to where money and qualifications can't... it will take u far..

Creamcustard:
Perhaps you should have phrased it as a question instead of making it a statement?

It would be interesting to find out why it was deleted,maybe you can mail the mod and ask.

I didn't even get to read my mention .

Very inflammatory topic especially for victims of marital rape.

Maybe you need to be sensitive about what you post in family section.

Try sexuality..they may be more lenient.

quivah:

smh okay, I leave you to it since you are with one with the di.ck.
But why don't you take the time to do your own research?
It's not as if I brought it up from the clouds, must have come from someplace.. research?, experience?, practice?.
Now that I mentioned it and you don't agree because you didn't know...why not conduct your own little research?
��.
It will actually help you as a man as well as your woman.

I have said it and I repeat; Ejaculation and Orgasm are different.
You only believe you have 'orgasmed' once you ejaculate because that's how it has been painted to you right from when you were young.
Why don't you try to reach out to other ideologies?.
You can ORGASM without EJACULATION. In fact, multiple times.

However, I leave it to the ones with the di.ck but maybe these researches and practices were actually and originally conducted by those with di.cks, who knows?!

SagePerv1:


Hmm. I'll get back to you on this after conducting quality research of my own. It sounds really interesting. Thanks.

quivah:

Would have loved to share some of the materials, books, journals, audio files and videos that I have with you, but it's a research work I am involved in with other people- sex experts, Taoists, Sex therapists, to write into a 3 volume book and I signed an NDA to this effect. So it's a criminal offense if I share the content.
But you can google Non ejaculatory sex, Sexual energy(CHI) to speed up your research. You won't get much but depending on your internet research skill, then you should see enough information and also how you can learn non ejaculatory sex sef.
Don't limit your research to google only, check YouTube videos too. Go on quora, reddit etc.

quivah:

This isn't entirely true.
A man can actually orgasm without ejaculation.
Ejaculation and Orgasm are really different and in fact, it's advised that men (as they grow older) learn to orgasm without ejaculation i.e practice non-ejaculatory sex.

So, male ejaculation is actually not male orgasm.

Viking007:
Perfectly written. The OP has responded to lots of highly provocative comments with class, very "un-Nigerian".

quivah:

This isn't entirely true.
A man can actually orgasm without ejaculation.
Ejaculation and Orgasm are really different and in fact, it's advised that men (as they grow older) learn to orgasm without ejaculation i.e practice non-ejaculatory sex.

So, male ejaculation is actually not male orgasm.

liberalchick:
While technically you are correct but she isn’t talking about that, she is referring to ejaculation without orgasm while it is possible it is very rare.

liberalchick:
Sorry I have to disagree. Go read her other posts she is not usually this meek. She knows she has been outwitted on this thread by other posters. Her comebacks were not as sharp because she had none. She touched on a topic that was much more bigger scope that she could handle. I sill love reading her posts sha but she goofed on this one.

bukatyne:


Interesting.

Outwitted by other posters you say?

I do not create thread to battle wits. If you go through my threads, you would notice they are for educational and discussion purposes.

No amount of discomfort would change the fact that there is nothing like marital rape.

And the earlier intending wives know this, the better for them and the society as a whole.

If they have issues in the marriage that would prevent the wife from joyfully making love to her husband, they should sort it out.

I am not surprised that posters only seem concerned with the wives.

Should we assume that husbands are never 'raped'?

bukatyne:


Interesting.

Outwitted by other posters you say?

I do not create thread to battle wits. If you go through my threads, you would notice they are for educational and discussion purposes.

No amount of discomfort would change the fact that there is nothing like marital rape.

And the earlier intending wives know this, the better for them and the society as a whole.

If they have issues in the marriage that would prevent the wife from joyfully making love to her husband, they should sort it out.

I am not surprised that posters only seem concerned with the wives.

Should we assume that husbands are never 'raped'?

Gloriagee:
Dude, I try to see the humor in life's situations. Doesn't mean I'm dumb....

bukatyne:


Interesting.

Outwitted by other posters you say?

I do not create thread to battle wits. If you go through my threads, you would notice they are for educational and discussion purposes.

No amount of discomfort would change the fact that there is nothing like marital rape.

And the earlier intending wives know this, the better for them and the society as a whole.

If they have issues in the marriage that would prevent the wife from joyfully making love to her husband, they should sort it out.

I am not surprised that posters only seem concerned with the wives.

Should we assume that husbands are never 'raped'?

merahki:



His post cracked me up too
But when he scolded you for being of “easy humour” I ran away
(I think he was being modest though)

bukatyne:


Interesting.

Outwitted by other posters you say?

I do not create thread to battle wits. If you go through my threads, you would notice they are for educational and discussion purposes.

No amount of discomfort would change the fact that there is nothing like marital rape.

And the earlier intending wives know this, the better for them and the society as a whole.

If they have issues in the marriage that would prevent the wife from joyfully making love to her husband, they should sort it out.

I am not surprised that posters only seem concerned with the wives.

Should we assume that husbands are never 'raped'?

bukatyne:


Interesting.

Outwitted by other posters you say?

I do not create thread to battle wits. If you go through my threads, you would notice they are for educational and discussion purposes.

No amount of discomfort would change the fact that there is nothing like marital rape.

And the earlier intending wives know this, the better for them and the society as a whole.

If they have issues in the marriage that would prevent the wife from joyfully making love to her husband, they should sort it out.

I am not surprised that posters only seem concerned with the wives.

Should we assume that husbands are never 'raped'?

bukatyne:


Crackhaus,

Nairaland is a forum where we ought to discuss all issues and not a Government website.

This was culled from a US Christian forum: https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2018/01/11/it-is-not-a-womans-consent-that-matters-it-is-gods/

There are other such topics there too.

Interestingly, 90% of the people on this thread were not on the prior thread. Some acknowledged that they did not even read it.

If I think that a thread is teaching something wrong enough to be deleted, I will engage the Op.

I will not wait till the thread is deleted and comment.

Gloriagee:
The earlier you agree that no one has the answer to every question, the better for your threads cos you seem bent on selling your opinion that there's nothing like marital rape n yea I said opinion, rather than fact.

I subscribe to issues being addressed rather than swept under the carpet. In the interim, while the issues are being worked on, what happens to chilling till the issues are sorted out or working on getting your spouse in the mood. If spouse refuses, u halt advances. Anything other than that is rape and unjustifiable, in my opinion.

Re women raping men, an earlier female poster wrote bout her hubby traveling for 15 hours and being too tired to have s.ex. Now, if she had gone on to sleep with him without his consent, are u suggesting its justified because it's her marital right?

liberalchick:
Sorry you can have opinions but you can NEVER make up your own facts. If you are comfortable with your husband having sex with you without your consent because you think you have already given him consent when you said “I do”, then good for you do whatever makes you happy.

“There is nothing like marital rape” is an opinion NOT a fact. You are not entitled to your own facts. Sorry. I usually like what you post but I will have to disagree with you on this one.

Yes you were outwitted, the deleted thread was not a good look for you and it wasn’t an educational thread because it wasn’t based on facts sorry. I am happy the mods deleted it.

elektra:


Maybe if you were not hammering on wives alone. The discussion would broaden out. Or maybe replace wife with spouse?

elektra:



The problem I have with your stance is that you are using one blanket statement for a topic that has so many nuances.

There is nothing like marital rape in Nigeria. Since you claim that the marital vows are a one time consent given for all sexual activities to follow. What about countries where spousal rape is prosecutable? Are their marital vows different? No. The issue of consent being covered by marital vows is subject to different interpretations. Why? Because marital vows do not include "I hereby give you consent for all sexual relations after this wedding". To insist that your own interpretation is the correct one is a bit myopic.

There are so many issues that would prevent a spouse from agreeing to make love to their partners. You make it sound as if people do not have legitimate/logical reasons to refuse sexual intercourse even in a marriage.

Husband/wive is wrapping up Ph.D dissertation, is constantly stressed and tired, has no sex drive and explained the situation to spouse.
Spouse is having extramarital affairs, faithful spouse is unable to stomach having sex with a cheating partner and told spouse just that.
Spouse does not want to have sex without protection, partner insist on unprotected sex or no sex at all.
One partner wants more kids, other one is not ready.
Should I go on?
If these issues are not resolved in a timely manner the willing partner should have not qualms forcing their way because there is no such thing as marital rape. And if your spouse forces themselves on you, don’t feel hurt or angry because they can’t be prosecuted. Smile and be happy.

How is it better for the society that there is "nothing like marital rape"?

bukatyne:


There would always be reasons why a spouse doesn't want sex. There are times when both parties are not in the mood.

However, the concept of consent makes each party realize that this is my duty and I am not doing my spouse a favor and it is wrong to hoard or use sex as a bargaining/reward tool.

Instance A, a sane spouse would join in the race for achievement

B: Seperation & Divorce is allowed for adultery. The faithful spouse can report to a respected figure. STD is no joke.

C: The party who doesn't want kids should get family planning

If you are forced to the point of injury, seek redress.

elektra:


Like I said the concept of marriage vows as consent for all sexual activities at all times in the marriage is open to interpretation.

I just pointed out a handful of scenarios as an example of legitimate reasons for avoiding sex in a marriage, I wasn't really asking for a response to those, just trying to show that you are using one blanket judgement for a subject with many nuances.

But based on your proffered solutions to the stated scenarios, I think you are intentionally refusing to consider that this subject has too many grey areas and should not be treated as black and white as you have done, and it is clouding your judgement.

For instance, solution for A - "join in the race for achievement"? LMAO. So if your spouse to too stressed to think about sex, get yourself stressed too so both of you are too stressed to consider sex? Do you really think this is what a "sane" spouse would do? A sane spouse will wait! Ph.D dissertation writing take ~6months of long hours and hard work and sane partners have and can wait it out.

For the other solutions you proffered, there are so many what ifs, so i'll leave it alone.

Again, how is it better for the society that there is "nothing like marital rape"?