On saturday morning I had gone to the club to play a game of badminton, after the game I sent an SMS to an old female friend of mine, who had just returned from an oversea assignment and was settling into her new house.

CalabarMan: How now, I would have called but did not want to disturb anything incase you are busy with your bobo.I am at the badminton court if its convenient I could pop over to know your new house.

The Babe: Sorry oh, I am off to Lagos this morning although I would pass through the office first.

CalabarMan: Na whao this your every weekend Lagos, I beg do quick I wan chop rice e be like you get one bobo for Lagos. Greet am for me anyway.

The Babe: e be like say yeye dey worry you oh...

CalabarMan: Which one you dey sef eh.., na all of us dey do am oh no need to form. Nothing to shame about. Make sure you enjoy your self well well oh.. body no be firewood.

The Babe: I dey convinced say na double yeye dey worry you .

CalabarMan: No vex ma, You know say I like you well well, I once had a terrible crush for you but this your bad mouth no gree me talk am. Anyway I am just wishing you the best, abi I talk bad...

The Babe: Crush for your big sister, you no dey fear sef. Sha I dey lagos.

CalabarMan: Thank God say I no tell you that time you would have really hurt my feelings, but now am just amused. Anyway have fun and greet your sister for me.

The Babe: Thank God for you. My response would have been just that then. Not that I would have intentionally wanted to hurt you. In hindsight I probably hurt another guy in a similar circumstance in the past, he is yet to recover from it although married. Age na strong thing oh.

CalabarMan: you need to chill and be open minded. You need to discard that ancient concept of seeing guys about your age as small boys, who knows you might just find your true love within that range.

The Babe: I have a problem with the word "submissive", I don't think it can work for me.

CalabarMan: I understand but the bible also says that a woman needs to be submissive to her man. A female friend of mine who used to think like you just married a guy 1 year younger than her.

The Babe: Good Luck to her

CalabarMan: You be old school oh..any way no forget to buy me better from lagos.

The Babe: You no know before. I would buy you exactly what you bought me from London, nothing.

Reflecting back, I met this babe 10 years ago (we were both in our early 20s, I am actually a month older than her) we were both sent on a company sponsored course, the babe was very hot then, not too tall, light in cmplexion and wore mini-skirt. The babe laps na die. Throughout the course I never really spoke to her, just dey shadow from a far. A few days after the course I called her up, I was in Warri then and she in our Port-Harcourt office, I had planned to toast the babe and had carefully worked out my yarn. The babe was very surprised and happy to hear from me, and we flowed easily however she could yab well well, her mouth na razor blade oh..but I enjoyed talking to her. She reminded me of my secondary school days when we used to pick on anyone in our group and yab him until he fights back. I pocket my manifesto quick quick..I told myself this babe was good as a friend to yarn with but not as a babe to date, what if she yabs me in front of my pallies, I couldn't risk loosing face in my inner circle.

Now she is in approaching mid 30s still single, looking for a husband and feels any man her age is not matured enough for her. I tried to make her realise that, the kind of men she is looking for (older than her) are already married maybe she needs to relax and go for those slightly younger. Nna e no easy oh.. this thing called age.

If I were looking for a babe now I guess I would also have some age restrictions, any babe under 27 would be too young, with all my experience and exposure it would be an unfair match for anyone younger, abi…

Actually, the way I see it, you could be married to her in 6 months if you wanted to and knew what to do. She has given you all the information you need in this quote:
"The Babe: I have a problem with the word "submissive", I don't think it can work for me."

My broda the babe mouth na razor blade o! even you no go fit stomach am, e better make we just be friends this way we fit yab each other without seeing it as disrespect. If we enter house together na another matter e go be.

let me tell you what transpired between us yesterday on SMS

CalabarMan: How now are you back from Lagos. Hope you had a nice time.

The Babe:I just arrived PH. You are really dying for me.

CalabarMan:Well unlike you I no dey hide my feelings.However it is too late for us now.Just wishing you the best.

On reaching the office she called and asked why I was harrassing her so much on saturday, and that she was really touched. I said touch ke, that your heart whey strong pass stone. She replied true she was and then went on to ask why I didn't tell her before. My response was fear of rejection. She laughed and asked when we would revisit our earlier cancelled lunch date....

Well, me I cannot date/marry somebody younger than me. NEVER!!! Anytime a younger guy asks me out, I feel greatly insulted. It makes me feel as if I'm low-level or within reach and I will definitely insult him.

@IAH, Haba you don't have to insult him especially if he approached you in a nice way, just tell him nicely that you don't date guys younger than you.

The babe I was refering to in my discussions above is now 35 years old still single and has become very religious. The kind of men she would like to marry are those above 37. Most men this age are already married. If she wants to settle down she needs to get off her high horse and accept someone slightly younger than her who genuinely loves her.

Why do i have this funny feeling that you love this girl sha...

Love? I don't know the meaning of that word. but yes I like her a lot..that you can deduce from the conversation..abi na crime

ol boy, no mind all these detractors jare, i.m me and i will give you a link that may help you out!

the way i see it, the babe dey jell for you, she is just feeling insecure and thats all you need the, go for the kill man. she is all yours!!!

IAH:

Anytime a younger guy asks me out, I feel greatly insulted. It makes me feel as if I'm low-level or within reach and I will definitely insult him.

Dem !!! we have people like this in Nairaland ?

@ IAH, do you ask a guy for his birth certificate. What happens if the guy looks older than his age and actually sounds more mature?

That's right....

Some people just yarn dust here...

Hey! You guys don't have to attack me for saying what I feel and what I do! I think all you want is for us to be telling each other lies, lies, lies! If I had said I love younger guys to ask me out, you would have given me a pat on the back, right? Well, that's not the truth. We are all different people so try to accommodate that fact and stop all these.

IAH:

Hey! You guys don't have to attack me for saying what I feel and what I do! I think all you want is for us to be telling each other lies, lies, lies! If I had said I love younger guys to ask me out, you would have given me a pat on the back, right? Well, that's not the truth. We are all different people so try to accommodate that fact and stop all these.

Am not attacking you but you havent answered my Q:

@ IAH, do you ask a guy for his birth certificate. What happens if the guy looks older than his age and actually sounds more mature?

Lolz i think what she does exactly is.

Guy aproaches..........

Guys Says: Hi lady, how are you doing.
i couldnt just resist missing this one is a lifetime opportunity to say a hello. An Angel, just landed from heaven, to teach us mortals what beauty really is. Do you stay arround here?

IAH : Excuse me !! How old are you?

Guys looks at her shockingly and says, it was really nice talking to you. I really do have to go now,
I have an appointment to catch.

By the way, or another scenario, probably one of the criterias she has is "I wont be friends with a guy younger than me".

Mind you IAH, no offence intended. Your stance is good, but we also have a right to question that. This is a forum, and i think you should appreciate our curiousity in knowing the reason for your stance.

But why? Are younger guys not mature enough? or Is just a policy of "No younger guys for me"?

Oh! I now understand where you guys are coming from. You guys are talking of one-day-meeting and hitting it off straightaway. I mean Craig David's song: I met this girl on Monday, took her for a drink on Tuesday, we made love on Wednesday....... Tell you what...I don't do that ok? I have to know you very well before the issue of dating comes in. So I will definitely ask for his age and tell him mine when we are talking and if he, after finding out that I'm his big sister still goes ahead to ask me out then that definitely calls for insult!
As for kazey's scenario, the guy has not yet asked me out! He just wants to be my friend for crying out loud. That's the mistake some girls made, once a guy asks for their names, or says something nice, they take it that he wants to date them. So kazey, your character has not yet asked IAH out, he is only trying to be a friend.

Yes thats exactly, what i was doing, in response to Jogego. Meaning that you ask the guy from day 1. Supposedly
If you don't get it. Never mind Asking you out? was I? I was about too (but then the clause), and trust me i can ask you out from day 1.

uhhhh.. looks like an adult only conversation. But anyways, my little mouth must sing.

Calabarman loves parott mouth, calarbarman loves parott mouth. hhmmm i rest my case.

Once I see Caution for there, I know say hot angel must to dey there. me i dey go ,i be small pikin

hahahah she love the danger danger. reminds me of a poster a friend of mine read just because the header was "DO NOT READ THIS".

hmmm.. thank you for talking about me.

Kazey hands Hot-angel a tissue and starts himself for making her shed the tears. I am Sorry

Which day did i turn to hotpink? So many names here oo.. anyways i need a bucket not your filty tissue.

corrected. Filty tissue ?? Common i was just kidding. I am sorry

hot-angel i agree with u. calabarman give it a try, u guys dig each other. solve each other's problem. u never marry abi?

IAH take am easy. dis ur policy strict oh. all guys wey wan woo IAH bring birth certificate oh!

i dey pray say IAH no go dey 35 still dey look for 37+ years guys. all the best girl

haha.. good advice to everyone trea_z.

I forgive you (wat's your name).. kazey.

hey i didnt forgot your nick. It was a typo error!!

alright kazey.

@IAH
When girls r almost 30, even those that have that ur policy change it. They become willing to date guyz younger than them.

A younger guy asking you out means that he's checked you out & admires you despite the fact that you're older than him. I think you should be giving him some credit for asking you out rather than insulting him, even if you aint gonna go out with him eventually.

Exactly mamba but it all depends on how he approaches me. I believe so much in that.

Hey I thought this topic was taken off due to it's explicit nature....

Anyway lets continue the gist. I ran into the babe some days ago at our cash office (we have a very small branch of First Bank in our office complex just for staff), I was on my mobile when she approached from the back asking which babe I was talking to, I refused to answer her so she kept poking me on the side saying how can I be talking to another babe when she is around, that I should cut the line, I kept moving away trying to dodge but the babe no gree followed me all over the hall making a scene. I was actually talking to another babe a supplier but it was official (I swear!) although we exchanged some personal remarks. Anyway I quickly ended the call and told her I was going to report her for Sexual Harassment, the company actually has a policy against this, especially now that she was an oga (she was recently promoted and is a step higher than me). She said who would believe me, that in Nigeria women don't harass men. I told her that people in the banking hall would be my witness, in fact one of my former female boss was there at the moment so I turned to her and asked if she would testify. My former boss said she would not but would tell my main babe whom I had introduced to her some years back (women, too trickish eh..) what she just saw, anyway to cut a long story short we all laughed collected our money and left.

We haven't had our lunch date yet as she is currently on vacation outside the country....

Calabarman if its the you that i know then that lunch date is going to change to breakfast in bed the next day, feel what im saying?