Most people who desire relationships will look up to people for a piece of advice and follow through. However, not all advice will help you in your relationship.


The following piece of advice might be great but not valuable.


Celebrating Minor Achievement


It is fine to celebrate with your date, but it becomes to stupid when you celebrate every achievement. There are some achievements that you can call to congratulate them. You can tell them sweet celebratory words and even a few words of prayers. But posting it all over social networks and throwing a party is not a wise thing to do.


You should know the achievements that are important and celebrate it wisely.


Don’t Talk About Your Previous Relationship


There are lot of relationship counsellors who tell people not to talk about their ex. Well, this could be wrong. If you can’t talk about what went wrong in your previous relationship(s) with your new date, it means you’re not matured enough for the next one.


It is with learning what went wrong in your previous relationship that you and your new date will know how to tailor your lives to each other. Besides, the previous relationship helped build the person you are.


While it’s important to talk about your previous relationship, make sure the discussion is more about the lessons and not about the ex. Don’t be vindictive when talking about them. And do not talk about them as if you regret the breakage of the previous relationship. There’s a difference between talking about your previous relationship and talking about your ex.


Pamper Females Because They Need It


This advice is common in this part of the world. You will things like “women like it soft”, “make your woman comfortable”. It is for reasons like this that you see some men opening doors for a woman who sat at the front passenger seat. Now, I’m not saying opening doors for a woman is bad but don’t make it excessive.


Most women I know are not comfortable with a man pampering them too much. It makes the man look cheap and that he’s up to a motive, although everyone has a motive. It also makes the woman feel as if she can’t take care of herself without the man being around.


If you as a woman has a man that always pamper you, be careful. If you want a real relationship, you should be with someone that’s real with you not someone that try to create a make-believe world for you.


Be Always There for Them


We have had people break up with us because they called us at 2:am and we didn’t pick up. Because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that you should not have your life.


You are yourself before you entered a relationship. You should be your priority before your spouse comes in. Now, I’m not saying you should be selfish but if you’re always there for your date, a time will come when it will look like a facade. God save you that you don’t break up because if you did you would be telling yourself that you were used. Most girls that say they were used were too available for their partner.


Make time for them but not to your detriment.


Make Perfect Plans


This one!


Some relationship advisors will advise you to create a plan. “Ensure the plan is perfect”, they tell you. Then you keep seeing the lady drifting away from you.


A friend of mine met this girl when she was in 100 level. We advised him to ask the girl out. He said he wanted a perfect plan. He watched this girl grow to become a lady. When he finally walked up to the lady, her response was shocking. She said, “So you mean you have a thing for me all this while? I actually liked you, but I thought you were seeing another person since you hardly say ‘hello’ to me.” It turned out that the lady dated for the first time in 400 level and she’s engaged to the guy today.


Don’t wait for a perfect time for you to plan a date. In fact, the perfect relationship plan takes years to form and sadly you will have to plan it with your lover.


Be Yourself


This advice is not only a relationship advice but has become something that motivational speakers give.


So, you hear things like “be yourself”. Then on your first date you begin to do foolish things around the date because you want to be yourself. Well, that’s stupidity at best. What you should rather do is to improve yourself. Be a better version of yourself.


If it’s cool to be yourself, you will have carried those senseless attitudes that you did when you were younger.


You should rather be responsible instead.


Be Honest with Your Date


Honesty is important in relationship. But not all the time.


What you rather need to learn is to be tactical. Because you want to be honest doesn’t mean that you should tell your new date that you had an abortion, or you did some hurtful things in the past. You might say these things later.


It is foolishness to start saying “My mother was arrested for selling drugs” because the date asked you to talk about yourself.


Play Hard to Get


Some people because of their beauty or privileges will make someone pass through stress before they go out on a relationship with them.


That’s not good. If you want to date someone, do so. Don’t make someone’s life hell because you want to feel important in a relationship.


Age Doesn’t Matter


Age is not maturity, that’s a fact. You can be 35 and not be mentally developed as a 20-year-old. However, age is a reality in relationships especially if you decide to go long term with the person.


The truth is most time decisions of relationships do not even rest in the hands of the partner but their friends mostly. Since exceptions is not the norm, you should expect the partner to take advice from his/her peers. You will guess what the decision of a 31-year-old will be when she consult her friends compared to if she’s younger and have young friends.


Let Them Figure Out Your Feelings


In climes like ours, it’s a kind of crime for a lady to tell a guy she likes him and so will keep thinking someone who wants friendship to want a relationship.


Be clear about your objectives so that you know what you want early enough. That’s better than dating someone with their absence for years.


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