Ybaby:


Muscle does not solve any problem now. Puffing up and down doesnot solve any problem, a man who cannot provide for his family is an infidel says the holy book. Do you think the girl is happy to go and look for a provider for her child while the child's father is alive. Use this anger to make money. The only supremancy is money - he who pays the piper ? dictates the tune. He does not have money to pay piper so the tune is for the step dad. it hurts but the only solution is to understand that as a young man you have a financial clock and get to work making that money - even your mother will not respect you if you cannot provide for your child. curse all you want or provide or keep your peepee away from women.

This your "poverty" mentality is what put us in the mess we find ourselves today. So you elevate material acquisition above love and life itself. No wonder Nigerians are making a mess of themselves around the world with make money anyhow mentality.
Most successful men you see right now started out with their wives poor. Abiola told us stories of how he was a stay at home dad taking care of Kola, while Simbiat was the one working. It was same Simbiat that paid Abiola's fees through school that enable him to be a successful accountant.
Even I, pass through a very difficult time at the time I had my first child, as my business crashed. My wife had to do business, while I took care of my son. It took me over 3 years before I got on my feet again. So according to you once a man hit a difficult period, his girlfriend or wife should abandon ship.

Rivers state lady? you sef get liver. apart from delta in south south I don't think I can marry from ND


exhaust all diplomatic means according to the advise someone gave you, if no result my guy goto court even if court grant her the custody, the fear of forcefully making the child her new man son will fly away from her sense plus you will have some advantage if she attempt to breach the rule of law by the court

spongeisback:
I would've ignored you because I find people that use memes juvenile but the fact that you're not intellectually sound doesn't mean I should ignore your baseless write up.


You're such a slooowwwwwww learner. how did I support the family using their tradition to deny him of his son? I only rephrased his comment.

Are you so silly to understand that or you just feel like typing and muddling rubbish together? Can you point out where in my comments I supported or tried to impose traditions?


You're very very very MAD. VERY MAD.

Oops, struck a nerve? Goodnight

Let him approach the court. Let it be on record that he is the father. Win or lose is secondary. Primary is the establishment of the fatherhood.
Custody and access to the son is secondary.

Good luck!

Graduateacher:


Are you willing to be his lawyer in this case? I don't think he should spend all he has to pay one. The boy is his son but he's single and can't cater for a child under two alone, no court will grant him sole custody as he wants. If the lady is wicked she can claim abuse and with a good lawyer he might be denied his rights entirely. Sometimes it's better to settle out of court especially in Nigeria where even our president doesn't obey court orders. If he can't settle with her family my advice is for him to relax, the boy will surely look for him later on.

Ybaby:
15k cannot do nothing for that child. How much is baby food? How much is daycare? etc

I will be honest with you - allow that rich man to look after that child biko and try and make money - take courses, hustle, get a job etc.

A child belongs comes out of who? the father or the mother?? it is who a mother gives her child to that is the father. Ok!? No one is sure who thier true father is - it is whoever your mum tells you is your father that is your father! Ok!?

Get money before you try for another baby with the next lucky lady or that one too will give your child to the highest bidder.

Most woman don't know babies are expensive until they have them - a mother's job is to do what is best for her child. Try and understand. Go make some money.

I have included prices of baby things below - does not contain school fees. He is mine is not the point here - It is can you give him a good life? You need to man up it is not about sperm. Once a child is on earth it is about provision. People will say otherwise but don't let anyone trick you. If you love that child you will let the rich man adopt him and use your ego to make money. Your child does not need your love as much as he needs diapers and formula

The truth hurts and I am sorry

best response so far. Op, even if the court gives d child to u ( which is almost impossible), shey na 15 k u go dey use to take care of a 2 yr old child? very unfair to d child. if u want a chobby, intelligent, smart, sharp and neat kid who can compete with his mates, abeg 15k no fit do anything, except u want him to start begging from his friends. a below average creche in my area is abt 15k per month, food nko, shoes nko, cloth nko, oga just increase your huzzle and pray make God bless d huzzle before you release another sperm next time. just wondering.... if u send 15k to d child, wat would u send to d mum? u think say to born pikin na beans, a friend of mine who loved kids planned to get a nice bus after marriage so as to always carry his 'many' children, after 1 child, my guy told me say e be like say hin go stop child bearing.... I laff sootey...

wirinet:

This your "poverty" mentality is what put us in the mess we find ourselves today. So you elevate material acquisition above love and life itself. No wonder Nigerians are making a mess of themselves around the world with make money anyhow mentality.
Most successful men you see right now started out with their wives poor. Abiola told us stories of how he was a stay at home dad taking care of Kola, while Simbiat was the one working. It was same Simbiat that paid Abiola's fees through school that enable him to be a successful accountant.
Even I, pass through a very difficult time at the time I had my first child, as my business crashed. My wife had to do business, while I took care of my son. It took me over 3 years before I got on my feet again. So according to you once a man hit a difficult period, his girlfriend or wife should abandon ship.

Took you 3 years to get back on your feet?? Ah who was not doing your fatherly responsibilities This is why alot of wives cheat without thier husband s knowing - 3 years to become a man again. Are you proud of that 3 years achievement of not looking after your family?? Please don't say it in public again sir. AH!!! Sigh

VillagePipu:


Wrong.
That's under Igbo tradition.
The same Igbo tradition says a woman like you can't inherit property.
The same Igbo tradition makes widows shave their heads when they lose their husbands.

Nigeria's laws supercede Igbo tradition and that child belongs to him.

even if all the aforementioned aren't recognised in Nigeria laws, marriage at least is, ..if only he paid anything on her as bride price, he wouldn't need any lawyer to take his child...

No you didn't, I actually feel sorry for you and who ever thought you comprehension. Too many educated illiterates running around on nairaland.

sacx:


Oops, struck a nerve? Goodnight

confun:
best response so far. Op, even if the court gives d child to u ( which is almost impossible), shey na 15 k u go dey use to take care of a 2 yr old child? very unfair to d child. if u want a chobby, intelligent, smart, sharp and neat kid who will Behind up at all times, and can compete with his mates, abeg 15k no fit do anything, except u want him to start begging from his friends. a below average creche in my area is abt 15k per month, food nko, shoes nko, cloth nko, oga just increase your huzzle and pray make God bless d huzzle before you release another sperm next time. just wondering.... if u send 15k to d child, wat would u send to d mum? u think say to born pikin na beans, a friend of mine who loved kids planned to get a nice bus after marriage so as to always carry his 'many' children, after 1 child, my guy told me say e be like say hin go stop child bearing.... I laff sootey...

Wisdom!!! They want to put ego before the child's needs and then claim to love the child. The only problem I see here is a poor dad that cannot provide for his offspring. He should write the step dad a thank you letter with gratitude once a month and see if he can adopt him too or at least employ him. The rich man did not go to the court to adopt the boy - A rich man is buying your woman and your son you are on Nairaland asking for pity party. Go get money my friend - this is not a court matter.

Ybaby:



Will you pay for the lawyer or it is the 15k you want him to use ba??

stay off! You're not the person involved. Okay?

Men are not responsible creatures when it comes to being a parent. The court will always give custody to the woman so long as she is in her sane mind. You sound irresponsible because u fvcked a woman without condom. Now a more capable man wants to marry her and give her a life your poor as. S cannot give her. Forget about the child, 15k cannot buy pampers. Go and be a man first, the court will never give u custody neither will the rich man or ur ex.

Don't have sex if you are not ready for the responsibilities that comes after it.

I say this because something tells me you will repeat this same mistake.

Just send what you can, pay visits to him and huzzle hard because right now, you can't take care of your son. You don't want him turning to agbero or any of all these pained miscreants on nairaland, do you?

Ybaby:


Took you 3 years to get back on your feet?? Ah who was not doing your fatherly responsibilities This is why alot of wives cheat without thier husband s knowing - 3 years to become a man again. Are you proud of that 3 years achievement of not looking after your family?? Please don't say it in public again sir. AH!!! Sigh

Na wa o. So you don't know men loose their jobs or a tragedy affect their businesses? I am sure you are too young to understand life and it's ups and downs.
I am extremely proud of the "3 years it took me to become a man again" it helped my son, my wife and I bond very well. It showed me that my wife loved me beyond material things. I married her when I was doing well, it was not until the hard times that I realised the love was real. This year I am opening a baking business for her, after sending her to a culinary school.

morpheus24:


SMH!

A natural right supersedes a customary one.

The boy is 50% of one parent.

natural right can be restrained under the law and the law is derived from thesame custom and traditions

Ybaby:


Muscle does not solve any problem now. Puffing up and down doesnot solve any problem, a man who cannot provide for his family is an infidel says the holy book. Do you think the girl is happy to go and look for a provider for her child while the child's father is alive. Use this anger to make money. The only supremancy is money - he who pays the piper ? dictates the tune. He does not have money to pay piper so the tune is for the step dad. it hurts but the only solution is to understand that as a young man you have a financial clock and get to work making that money - even your mother will not respect you if you cannot provide for your child. curse all you want or provide or keep your peepee away from women.

Fvck u, fvck u, fvck u, damn your pussie thinking at the same time.. You dumb modafvckaz just come here and talk sh***t, thinking any one with contrary view is broke...
I hardly talk about money, many of you don't think straight...
Guess your one sided thinking would not allow you to see the monthly 15k the guy dey struggle to send the helpless evil broke family wey dey find another man money..
The only thing the low life family is offering the well of man is their daughter's pussy.. What else?
Reality always get ways to fvck criminals, liars etc up..

Ybaby:


Tip ke Where do you want him to get the money from??

You pessimistic loser. You need help. Go and sell your children when you have them if you fall on hard times after getting married.

JIDECAC:
stay off! You're not the person involved. Okay?

Ah! Barrister Jide... loooooool....this is an open forum. You should have whispered it into his ears. As we don hear am we must contribute o....Ok?!

Freehuman:


The case is a walk over in court. The judicial precedent of Edet Vs Essien(browse the case) is enough to grant him the paternal right of his child.
Giving a child to another man to father without the consent of his biological father is illegal and therefore not in the best interest of the child. If OP's lawyer proves that the paternal Grand parents of OP are capable of taking care of the Child, the Court can grant custody to the grand parents of the man since the very act of the child's mother partaking in illegal adoption itself is not in the best interest of the child .

Please notify the OP.
-From a senior lawyer and Son of a senior Judge

We Don hear

WORLDPEACE:


You pessimistic loser. You need help. Go and sell your children when you have them if you fall on hard times after getting married.

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! .............looooooool.............You are angry ...... sorry drink some cold water then understand that children do not understand hard times they will just be shouting I am hungry ...... can I have some snacks?? I want tea, Please give me biscuits, can I have cake? and there schools too will be asking for school fees. Kids are a luxury - condoms are cheaper.

kushme:


Fvck u, fvck u, fvck u, damn your pussie thinking at the same time.. You dumb modafvckaz just come here and talk sh***t, thinking any one with contrary view is broke...
I hardly talk about money, many of you don't think straight...
Guess your one sided thinking would not allow you to see the monthly 15k the guy dey struggle to send the helpless evil broke family wey dey find another man money..
The only thing the low life family is offering the well of man is their daughter's pussy.. What else?
Reality always get ways to fvck criminals, liars etc up..

Chai!!! looooooooll
sorry eh!
15k per month to buy what diapers or formula.

Condoms are cheaper. The world doesnot need anymore hungry children.

wirinet:

Na wa o. So you don't know men loose their jobs or a tragedy affect their businesses? I am sure you are too young to understand life and it's ups and downs.
I am extremely proud of the "3 years it took me to become a man again" it helped my son, my wife and I bond very well. It showed me that my wife loved me beyond material things. I married her when I was doing well, it was not until the hard times that I realised the love was real. This year I am opening a baking business for her, after sending her to a culinary school.

One day you will understand what you wrote up there and may be you won't. Who was providing for your family in those 3 years Your wife or her helper ??

You're right my dear. But you know in Nigeria we glorify poverty. I've a child and I know how much I spend a month. They feel giving a child food is all it takes
.

Ybaby:



Chai!!! looooooooll
sorry eh!
15k per month to buy what diapers or formula.

Condoms are cheaper. The world doesnot need anymore hungry children.

You know what i will advice you for now leave the matta for God ....bring yourself u and focus on your achievement, have your own family and then you can claim your child even if he bear someones else name you can still claim your son

Freehuman:


The case is a walk over in court. The judicial precedent of Edet Vs Essien(browse the case) is enough to grant him the paternal right of his child.
Giving a child to another man to father without the consent of his biological father is illegal and therefore not in the best interest of the child. If OP's lawyer proves that the paternal Grand parents of OP are capable of taking care of the Child, the Court can grant custody to the grand parents of the man since the very act of the child's mother partaking in illegal adoption itself is not in the best interest of the child .

Please notify the OP.
-From a senior lawyer and Son of a senior Judge

Thank you Sir...

wirinet:

This your "poverty" mentality is what put us in the mess we find ourselves today. So you elevate material acquisition above love and life itself. No wonder Nigerians are making a mess of themselves around the world with make money anyhow mentality.
Most successful men you see right now started out with their wives poor. Abiola told us stories of how he was a stay at home dad taking care of Kola, while Simbiat was the one working. It was same Simbiat that paid Abiola's fees through school that enable him to be a successful accountant.
Even I, pass through a very difficult time at the time I had my first child, as my business crashed. My wife had to do business, while I took care of my son. It took me over 3 years before I got on my feet again. So according to you once a man hit a difficult period, his girlfriend or wife should abandon ship.

Leave that guy. He needs help. His reasoning has been warped by his society. The OP of course made a mistake having a child before he was financially ready. But the real mistake he made is deciding to have a child with a woman who is not compatible with him. Someone who thinks like this guy who is giving harmful advice.

WORLDPEACE:


Leave that guy. He needs help. His reasoning has been warped by his society. The OP of course made a mistake having a child before he was financially ready. But the real mistake he made is deciding to have a child with a woman who is not compatible with him. Someone who thinks like this guy who is giving harmful advice.

Yimu!!!

When did 2 year old boys start eating compatibility I think they prefer to eat Aptamil and 15k a month cannot get them that. Well the boy will have to eat compatibility then. Only a crazy woman will remain with a 15k a month man with a baby in her hands. It does not make any sense.

Ybaby:



Chai!!! looooooooll
sorry eh!
15k per month to buy what diapers or formula.

Condoms are cheaper. The world doesnot need anymore hungry children.

Based on your thought process, I expected a cliché... You no disappoint me..
Please, read the reply of Freehuman and see how reality works.
You just dey there dey shout condom and diaper..

Ybaby:


One day you will understand what you wrote up there and may be you won't. Who was providing for your family in those 3 years Your wife or her helper ??

Are you telling me you think women add no value to the family beside sex and giving birth to children? Now, tell me what you bring to the table in a relationship. You talk as if women are incapacitated or invalid.

You are just juvenile raised with poor values. Even in wealthy advanced nations, women contribute to the family and don't just sit down depending on men to provide all their need, because of the hole between their legs.

confun:
best response so far. Op, even if the court gives d child to u ( which is almost impossible), shey na 15 k u go dey use to take care of a 2 yr old child? very unfair to d child. if u want a chobby, intelligent, smart, sharp and neat kid who can compete with his mates, abeg 15k no fit do anything, except u want him to start begging from his friends. a below average creche in my area is abt 15k per month, food nko, shoes nko, cloth nko, oga just increase your huzzle and pray make God bless d huzzle before you release another sperm next time. just wondering.... if u send 15k to d child, wat would u send to d mum? u think say to born pikin na beans, a friend of mine who loved kids planned to get a nice bus after marriage so as to always carry his 'many' children, after 1 child, my guy told me say e be like say hin go stop child bearing.... I laff sootey...

If he is not in a relationship with the mum he does not have to send her anything. The child is also the lady's so she should also make her own contribution. If she brings 10k, that money will be 25k. There are lots of single mothers who take care of their kids by themselves. Why are you reasoning as if the lady is an invalid?
Many people who earn minimum wage have children. It is through the participation of both parents that they raise their children.
Things will definitely improve as he hustles more. Children don't have to be sold off just because people become poor.

If the rich polygamist hadn't come into the picture would she have turned to prostitution to take care of her child. The guy made a huge mistake having a child with the lady, money or no money. She is not the kind of woman you have kids with.

The child is yours. Consult a lawyer and SAVE every documentation that you have that proves you have been sending her money for his upkeep.

Martinez39:
Too bad. This is why I always advise boys to hustle and make it before they get married. A lot of issues would have been avoided if you kept your pen1s one place and hustled. What is 15k? The boy is out of your reach. The rich man will do all he can to claim the boy's mind so his investment will not be in vain. Forget about the boy and set your priorities straight and go hustle. If you remain poor and that man remains rich, even your son will reject you for the rich father. Can you reject Bill Gates as your adoptive father for you biological father who is a road side mechanic that can't feed himself? The only exception is if your son makes it big and can afford to accommodate you but what are the chances that he will make it big?

Beside, any man that gives birth to a child they can't comfortably take care of is a wicked and irresponsible man and not fit to be called a good father. Oga, go hustle. When you make it, you son will come back.

Boys, place hustle. When you make it, you will avoid a lot of issues. Personally, I would advise men focus on themselves; forget relationships and marriage; use surrogate mums/housemaids for childbirth/upkeep; and use prostitutes/slay queens for sex. No time to waste on a gender that loves you for your money and won't hesitate to leave you for the higher bidder. Develop and enjoy yourself biko.

You get sense, man!

Ybaby:




Yimu!!!

When did 2 year old boys start eating compatibility I think they prefer to eat Aptamil and 15k a month cannot get them that. Well the boy will have to eat compatibility then. Only a crazy woman will remain with a 15k a month man with a baby in her hands. It does not make any sense.

I still ask, is the woman disabled? Can't she work and earn her own money? I now see why Muslim fundamentalists prevent women from going to school or earning a living, they have women like you that think like them.

So what do you suggest a woman with a 15k a month man and a baby to do? Find a 5 million naira a month man, as a second, third or even fourth wife, or become a concubine? Do you think the baby will grow up mentally and psychologically in such an environment with numerous other wives and children? I have seen many such disastrous situations.