My Husband Is Acting Funny - Family (5) - Nairaland
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Help! My Pregnant Wife Is Acting Strange! / Help! My Husband Is Acting Funny! / My Uncle's Wife Younger Sister Is Acting Funny With Me! (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by monkeyleg: 2:30pm On Oct 23, 2010 |
@nateevs, Apologies, I was reacting to her first post. It must have been in the 2nd or 3rd post she mentioned the beatings. I wont stand for beatings in a marriage, it is one of those things I have never understood, and caution both men and women against, but we must be careful not to hastely judge. However most of my comments stand. Marriage is not easy, infact anyone who thinks marriage is easy, is indeed not ready for the long walk. And yes I believe in prayers in marriage, it works, it is the life blood of any successful marriage. Well, for the husband, I cannot advise, he needs to realise his faults and seek help |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Deqube: 5:24pm On Oct 23, 2010 |
ladies and gentlemen, we need to start thinking positively and start embracing values rather than virtues, if every marriage going Through stress colapses what will we have, a society in disarray. Now to my dear sister, there is hope. I have a real testimony for you. A female friend of mine went through the same situation she was even pregnant, she held on to God, ´cos everyone including her parents and his parents spoke to him but he remained adamant, until God touched him after a lot of praying and fasting and believe God and confessing positively, at a point, we had a prayer chain, every single member of the family chose a time of the day to pray for him. One day he came round apologized to everyone and he and his wife are together, |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Bawss1(m): 5:26pm On Oct 23, 2010 |
Sagamite: Correct guy! You've said it all. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Nobody: 9:40pm On Oct 23, 2010 |
At poster, I think your hubby has anger management issues, leaving home for five days at a stretch and domestic violence. Am not married o! but simple objectivity tells me that you need to separate from that guy until he figures out his problem, if in time he does not then end the marriage. No woman on this earth should be beaten or put up with being beaten by her own husband. Am even surprised that you still sleep under same roof with him with out him acknowledging his anger problems. He cannot control his intense anger at flimsy things, thats why he stays away to avoid harming you(more like he is afraid of what he might do, you should be more afraid of what he might do and do something about it), thats not a good way to manage anger problems. One day he may not stay away and in the course of the violence you might have a fatal accident. If you must stay with him then find a way to show him that you have some back bone that will hurt him any time he lays his hands on you. I did not say you should fight him yourself. Either involve family members or stay away too for days or at worst pay some touts to beat him up real good when next he beats you, then take him to hospital and pay his bills. Even if you love him ensure there is a painful consequence any time he lays his hands on you else just find your way out. Some people will tell you to wait on God, but I think God has taken time to tell you so much in less than a year and now that you do not yet have kids to tie you to him! |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by emmatok(m): 12:54am On Oct 24, 2010 |
@Poster I it is wrong for you to be spreading tales about or less than one year old marriage on nairaland. As an adult you should know that marital issues are not to be discoursed in public because every one has an opinion(right or wrong). When is NAIRALAND A Marriage COURT where everybody is a judge. We are only getting your own side of the story and not that of your husband. We do not know your husband. We do not know if his actually beating you or doing those other things you claim his is doing to you. IT ONLY A VARY GULLIBLE PERSON THAT BELIEVE ONE-SIDED STORY ESPECIALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP. Must people are telling you to get a divorce, well that is not the solution to your problem. Because most of the time, when couples go their separate ways, they do not find happiness with someone else! The divorce rate for people who have once been divorced is higher than for those who are getting married for the first time. Thier are laws in the NIGERIAN MARRIAGE ACT that can force your spouse to fulfill his marital obligations. So i will advice you to get a good and professorial Marriage Lawyer. GOD BLESS. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by emmatok(m): 12:15pm On Oct 24, 2010 |
emmatok: |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by babuji(f): 6:53pm On Oct 24, 2010 |
Truth be told Poster, you would have noticed some negative behaviour when you were dating him, but because in naija, women are always under pressure to marry the man that proposes to them, you chose to overlook those salient issues that reared their ugly head. Way forward, i believe in prayer, but faith without works is DEAD! You need to stop being a wimp and take your life in your hands, seek advise as much as possible but let the final decision be yours alone. Stop trying to please everybody. Stop allowing your husband to walk all over you, the more you allow him, the more he loses respect for you. (thats the truth) He will only respect you when you show respect for yourself. If you dont have a job, pls go get one right away or start a business, it will aid you especially if you are someone who is afraid to make life changing decisions. The job will build in you a certain level of confidence and competence, improve your self value and moral and then you take it from there. I wish you all the best, marriage is not a do or die affair, it is meant to be enjoyed and not endured or you might as well sign into Kirikiri maximum prison. God bless |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by andyanders: 8:28am On Oct 25, 2010 |
FOR THE MAN TO TAKE A WALK OUT ON YOU AND NEVER BOTHERED TO TALK TO YOU WHEN HE COMES BACK SHOWS THAT THERE IS SOMETHING YOU ARE DOING THAT MAKES HIM TO TAKE OFF, WHENEVER YOU HAVE LITTLE PROBLEM. ALSO, DO YOU GO TO CHURCH? OR BETTER STILL GO TO SCOAN AND SETTLE YOUR PROBLEM, IF YOU STILL LOVES HIM. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by ada24: 11:24am On Oct 25, 2010 |
ur husband is not acting funny he is just plain mean. Until our culture reminds men that they also have a part to play in making a marriage work then we will continue to have women beating up for no reason (yes there is NEVER a reason to beat up ur wife) and then people telling her to cook his favourite meal and ask him what is wrong. Are we women sub-human or something. This woman is clearly unhappy and depressed but most people are asking her what she did as if u are forgetting how our men behave. Let me not start with my numerous stories to prove that a man can have a good wife at home but decides to cause all manner of problems in his marriage cos "culture" allows it. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Sagamite(m): 11:38am On Oct 25, 2010 |
ada24: GBAM! |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Nobody: 1:13pm On Oct 25, 2010 |
emmatok: the poster came here to ask for advices, any smart person who finds themselves in a situation where they have no clue as to how to solve their problem would do the same thing(ask friends/colleagues/family etc). only a fool wouldnt seek advice/help. if YOU have the money to pay a professional, good, but dont try to discourage people from listening to people on NL. here is a clue: as silly as some answers may be, there will be some very useful ones and the poster would be smart enough to decide whats the BEST for her. We are only getting your own side of the story and not that of your husband. why are you trying to discredit the poster? anyone opening threads of such nature on NL will fall under what you just wrote above. should we just NOT believe anyone writing about such issues. what would be the point in having a forum then?! duh! IT ONLY A VARY GULLIBLE PERSON THAT BELIEVE ONE-SIDED STORY ESPECIALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP. open your mind, the reason there are online faceless forum is for people to be able to come here, ask question about anything and everything, keep their anonymity and have the views/opinions of people from all over the world. Must people are telling you to get a divorce, well that is not the solution to your problem. look at you, 2 seconds ago she was lying about her story and now you are advising her about it. why waste your time if what she wrote isnt true?! btw: how do you know that divorce aint the solution?! have you met her husband? can you assure her that he will never bring some deadly diseases back home?! you should take her words as truth and give her a honest answer rather that coming here with attitude looking at the poster like a liar giving her BS advices (if you dont believe her then keep quiet and move along). Because most of the time, when couples go their separate ways, they do not find happiness with someone else! The divorce rate for people who have once been divorced is higher than for those who are getting married for the first time. we dont give a damn about people finding happiness with someone else (if YOU are that desperate then thats you), the IMPORTANT point is that we want the poster to find happiness within herself FIRST . . . . . . . . finding someone else is SECONDARY! do you think that being divorced is worst than being miserable in marriage? at least the divorced ones have a chance of future happiness! we can now understand that you are the kind of person that would stay married AT ALL COST even if treated like garbage. fair enough but dont spit on people who wouldnt because they have more self esteem than you. Thier are laws in the NIGERIAN MARRIAGE ACT that can force your spouse to fulfill his marital obligations. who are you kidding here, laws?! rotflmao, where?! you are definitely living in dreamland! NO LAW CAN FORCE A HUSBAND TO EITHER RESPECT HIS WIFE OR TO DO WHAT HE IS NOT READY/WILLING TO DO! |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Nobody: 2:05pm On Oct 25, 2010 |
^^^ That's my man!  |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by emmatok(m): 3:55pm On Oct 25, 2010 |
! NO LAW CAN FORCE A HUSBAND TO EITHER RESPECT HIS WIFE OR TO DO WHAT HE IS NOT READY/WILLING TO DO! [quote][/quote]  It simply shows you are ignorant of the law. Do you think those couples who go court to settle their differences are only going there for divorce? MR Commentator Why don't you proffer a solution to her problem. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by eiete(f): 5:46pm On Oct 25, 2010 |
hmmm! |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by kenyanoga(m): 9:38am On Oct 26, 2010 |
This is a simple case, the woman in the subject married a married man. The man is married secretly and that is where he spends his 5 days. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Nobody: 9:46pm On Oct 26, 2010 |
emmatok: the fact that you think that some court can force a man to respect his wife shows how CLUELESS you are about MEN. NO court can force a man who hates his wife's gut, to suddenly like her or respect her! NO court can force a man who doesnt find his wife attractive any longer, to suddenly fancy her again! NO court can force a Husband who beats his wife black and blue, to suddenly be a caring husband! anyway, who give a damn what a court "could dream of doing" when we already know how highly the husband thinks of wifey?! again, you are showing how desperate you are about being married AT ALL COST. poster is miserable, used as a punching bag, waiting patiently to catch some ill-gotten deadly diseases and was inches away from the doors of death, and yet, you continue talking about "reconciliation"?! as for my advice to the poster, go to PAGE1 of this thread, its big, bold and red (how could you have missed it?! lol) |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by emmatok(m): 10:22pm On Oct 26, 2010 |
@MRbrownJAY No need for insults.  Since don't believe in reconciliation. Then you are entitled to your own opinion.   OK |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Nobody: 10:40pm On Oct 26, 2010 |
^^^^^i did no insult you but if you found my reply insulting then accept my apologies as it was not intended. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by faramola: 11:31pm On Oct 26, 2010 |
@ poster, first of all. Get closer to God cos u don't deserve such troubles at an early stage. Two, get very busy dat u r too tired to notice him, three, get kool couples u can share and hang out wit them, four, talk to ur parents and his mom bout d situation. Five, be loving witout really lettin him know u r doin it. Six, pray pray and pray. All the best |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by emmatok(m): 11:42pm On Oct 26, 2010 |
MRbrownJAY: AM COOL |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by MiiO: 11:11am On Oct 27, 2010 |
@Poster I [b]absolutely [/b]do not agree that you should stay in the house and have people he respects/you respect come try and talk to him. Yes that is all well and good to help solve the marital problems, but if there is violence involved, you [b]need [/b]to move out. You moving out does not mean divorce and does not mean that you cannot work on your marriage. Respected people can come and talk to both of you and help figure out what is wrong, but for safety reasons, I think it is wise to leave him. btw, getting your neck squeezed is called choking, and in some countries, attempted murder. I do not agree with people who are saying you should 'try not to upset him so much' or 'let him have his way' so as to avoid being beaten because that is no longer a marriage, and surrendering the rest of your life to that fate is just sad and uncalled for. I dont think you should run off for days unend like he does just to give him a taste of his own medicine. Because while that might feel fine, it might be really dangerous. What if you return and he gets really upset with you and results to more dangerous violence than normal?? Its not worth it I think  In summary, I think you should first of all move out to a place you feel safe (preferable not family because they might end up pressuring you to return before you are both ready for it), get counseling from people you both trust and above all, pray. Nothing is impossible for God, if you believe. On a different note, I think men who resort to beating women (wives, girlfriends, etc) are the lowest of the low. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by slyk2(m): 12:46pm On Oct 27, 2010 |
how did you start the relationship? may be you were thrilled with taking out and gifts, just take heart baby. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by lostout: 1:39pm On Oct 27, 2010 |
Mine started just this way I couldnt just run and I stayed and took it all, But u know the bigest regrat was me staying I should have moved away far before; for 10 years I stayed to suffer, Hurting deep and crying everyday and night hoping it could just get better and that I never said I do to him, Well I know wht is best for me now: have told him flat am moving on with my life, Sis take a good air let the bad ones out it could do u a lot of good, leap it now before its too late, Trust me been there before and its HELL: |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by harakiri(m): 5:19am On Oct 31, 2010 |
The way people reply on topics like these makes me wonder if they have any fluids left in their heads. . . From my understanding, this lady and her husband were recently married.They are having quarrels. The man leaves the home in anger and doesn't return for days at a time. FINE! From the replies i see here, majority of the posters have concluded that the man is a animal that should be handled with care, he's perhaps cheating on her and doesn't love her anymore.FINE! Have any one of you bothered to ask the "innocent" poster WHAT EXACTLY the cause of their quarrels were? One or two unbiased examples would be sufficient.No matter how irresponsible a man is, he would NOT behave like this without reasons.Abeg, make una dey use una brains.Think logically like adults once in a while. Thanks! |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by harakiri(m): 5:26am On Oct 31, 2010 |
andyanders: Thank you very much.That's what i tried pointing earlier. She is painting a picture of the man as a deranged individual who just wakes up and leaves the house for no reason. Are we fools? There is definitely something she's doing that puts him off.I personally would walk out on a wife who nags me to death for a month to avoid unavoidable physical confrontation. All these people saying the guy has "anger management" issues are either unrealistic about life or soaked with too much E! Television. Get real! |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Osama10(m): 5:29am On Oct 31, 2010 |
harakiri: Most people here no get that time to ask questions, its fire for fire here. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by eiete(f): 5:31pm On Jan 02, 2011 |
Osama10:You can say that again. I feel for the woman. No wonder she did not comment again. She was asking for help, but looks like " we" have ended up crucifying her. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Ivbade: 3:30pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
When a woman gets married to whoever, she must be open to challenges. And these challenges come in various forms, as courtship is TOTALLY different from marriage. My brother inlaw graced a wedding occassion that broke up after 1month , and this couple courted for 8 years. So what happened? The Bible says 'A wise woman builds her home, but the foolish one tears it apart'. How do you build your home as a woman? First of all get your knees down to prayer and know what God's word promised you concerning marriage. And irrespective of the behaviour he puts up, you still have the responsibility to submit to him. It's actually a trying period, but you can make it your training ground. This may not be the right time to involve 3rd parties, except your pastors, because not everybody's counsel may be patient enough to deal with the issue. If you realy can keep at it, it may not be easy, but at the end it will be worth it. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Genius100: 7:31pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
All the clowns talking about prayers or whatever, please be quiet. God will not come down from heaven to sort out your marriage. What you are calling "little row" may not be little for him. I know tonnes of women that consistently cause problems. They consistently nag and complain and make the man's life a complete misery. When the man tells them, they never understand. They never see it as a big deal meanwhile the man is completely miserable. My advise for you is to stop nagging and complaining and stop all these so called little rows. For him it is a BIG DEAL and most men just want a peaceful harmonious home. What I can't fathom is him putting his hands on you. That is inexcusable. I hope you are not the one starting the fights or severely provoking him though. Nonetheless, it is unacceptable for a man to put his hands on a woman. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by IyaBasira: 9:39pm On Jan 08, 2011 |
Sagamite: This dude has had enough of prayers solving everything . . . lmao, . . |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Sagamite(m): 12:58pm On Jan 13, 2011 |
IyaBasira: They are so ffing annoying!!! "Take your problem to God . . . . . the only solution is God . . . . . .wait for God to intervene." Halftards! No wonder they are milked by miliki miracle men that love private jets. |
| Re: My Husband Is Acting Funny by Odunnu: 7:00pm On Jan 13, 2011 |
Dont lemme pray for thunder to strike that your screen o. I'm very prayerful. |
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