I've been bothered recently about the number of girls I've asked out & ended up starting a relationship with but the moment i get very closer to them, i begin to see things/attitudes that really get me pissed (like some re runs girls, some re gold diggers, some re too fake, artificial and you get to see the real them when you get closer, i went through someone's whatsapp, actually a lady i so much liked & thought she's cool and i saw mind blowing chats of how she Bleep and give some dude blow jobs and all that e.t.c).
I've also been having trust issues and i find it hard to keep female friends and as well keep a relationship, that's because the moment i get closer to a lady the next thing on my mind is to ask her out and then have sex with her. I also noticed i have a high libido for sex and most girls i end up dating ll think i only want them for sex. I've been thinking, has anyone been in this situation and please what's the way out because as a young man, i really want to stay focused, have my own loyal woman and that's all.
My question is how do guys that keep female friends without having the urge to Bleep them do it? How do some guys cope with gold diggers or keep such ladies as girlfriends and how can i stop moving from one woman to the other.
Am a social media addict that meet alot of ladies online especially in my location here.
Or am i being childish, picky or impatient, i can't even cope with attitude from girls atimes like i can easily get upset and delete a lady's number esp when she's giving me the yes, no, k, replies and when i try to get close to a lady and she's giving me attitude .
Am i proud and arrogant?
Op please push to front page.

Normal stuff.... it's all childishness... immaturity.... you don't even know what you want let alone how to get it. Start having friends in real life... meet people in flesh and blood... then you would come around to knowing people better...making better choices and establishing better relationships.

You are probably not gonna like my advice but I'll give it anyways.

You are either one of two people. Either you're ready for marriage (you are physically, mentally, emotionally and financially) or you are not (you are lacking all or some major parts of the aforementioned conditions)

So if you are ready for marriage, and what you are looking for is to have your own loyal girl, I don't know why you are still chasing "love" and relationships here and there. What you should do is to go fetch for a wife.

it's true that many bad girls are out there but we have good ones too. But the question is how did you meet the girls you've been dating?

What are the circumstances surrounding your meeting? Where did you meet her? What kind of family did she emanate from? Where is she living? How's her upbringing? What are people saying about her? What are some major events in her life history that are enough to discern the kind of person she is? and so on.

These are things people used to consider in the olden days before marrying a wife. That's why marriages of those days last far longer than these days.

But today, we've been blinded by civilization and the stupid messages we see in love movies and we do not follow due protocols and undergo due studies on who we wish to marry. That's why we fall in the hands of girls that cause us problems of different sorts.

So if you are ready to have your loyal woman and marry her, employ all due protocols like:

seeking them in appropriate places. You go to club and you meet a girl, you see boobs and yansh and you're blown away and you go for her. When she gives you trouble, you complain. Where did you meet her in the first place? So seek a woman in appropriate places.

secondly, that may not be enough. a girl may be going to church regularly and she will still be the community property type. Secondly, study her. Ask people questions about her but make sure you apply wisdom. move closer to one or two aged women of experience in her area that knows her and ask them about her. make them know you are serious about having her as your partner. If they see seriousness in you, they'll tell you the truth.

Discover who her friends are. Who are her advisers, her family members and neighbours? in what environment was she brought up? this will give you serious hints about who she is.

after you have employed all means to study her and she seems to be fine, it doesn't stop there but you can still make your move now.

approach her and ask her out. when she accepts and there's a little chemistry between you, take her home to your parents. let your experienced parents examine her. let them use their experience and wisdom to discern what type of person she is.

So if your parents are fine with her and she has passed all tests, then propose to her and marry her.

That's how they do in olden days and that's why they have better marriages. all these "love me I love you" of nowadays is mostly scam.

And pray for guidance too. very important

That said.

If you are not ready for marriage, Oga find something worthwhile to do with your life. Make money and become freaking successful and independent. work towards achieving all the major conditions that will qualify you as someone ready for marriage. once you attain that, then follow what has been explained above.

Good luck!

Not all women are bad bro. there are some women out there that are just too wonderful (like my mother). they may have some little shortcomings just like everyone else, but generally they are like angels in a man's life. Find them and you will see them.

A

B

Ur problem

Get a decent girl around, and not the fancy fancy type.

Generallll:
I've been bothered recently about the number of girls I've asked out & ended up starting a relationship with but the moment i get very closer to them, i begin to see things/attitudes that really get me pissed (like some re runs girls, some re gold diggers, some re too fake, artificial and you get to see the real them when you get closer, i went through someone's whatsapp, actually a lady i so much liked & thought she's cool and i saw mind blowing chats of how she Bleep and give some dude blow jobs and all that e.t.c).
I've also been having trust issues and i find it hard to keep female friends and as well keep a relationship, that's because the moment i get closer to a lady the next thing on my mind is to ask her out and then have sex with her. I also noticed i have a high libido for sex and most girls i end up dating ll think i only want them for sex. I've been thinking, has anyone been in this situation and please what's the way out because as a young man, i really want to stay focused, have my own loyal woman and that's all.
My question is how do guys that keep female friends without having the urge to Bleep them do it? How do some guys cope with gold diggers or keep such ladies as girlfriends and how can i stop moving from one woman to the other.
Am a social media addict that meet alot of ladies online especially in my location here.
Or am i being childish, picky or impatient, i can't even cope with attitude from girls atimes like i can easily get upset and delete a lady's number esp when she's giving me the yes, no, k, replies and when i try to get close to a lady and she's giving me attitude .
Am i proud and arrogant?
Op please push to front page.

And I don't know what you mean by "OP please push to front page"

You are actually the OP. you should call the mods.

lemme help you call some of them

lalasticlala dominique Seun Mynd44 Fynestboi Rocktation farano

Generallll:
I've been bothered recently about the number of girls I've asked out & ended up starting a relationship with but the moment i get very closer to them, i begin to see things/attitudes that really get me pissed (like some re runs girls, some re gold diggers, some re too fake, artificial and you get to see the real them when you get closer, i went through someone's whatsapp, actually a lady i so much liked & thought she's cool and i saw mind blowing chats of how she Bleep and give some dude blow jobs and all that e.t.c).
I've also been having trust issues and i find it hard to keep female friends and as well keep a relationship, that's because the moment i get closer to a lady the next thing on my mind is to ask her out and then have sex with her. I also noticed i have a high libido for sex and most girls i end up dating ll think i only want them for sex. I've been thinking, has anyone been in this situation and please what's the way out because as a young man, i really want to stay focused, have my own loyal woman and that's all.
My question is how do guys that keep female friends without having the urge to Bleep them do it? How do some guys cope with gold diggers or keep such ladies as girlfriends and how can i stop moving from one woman to the other.
Am a social media addict that meet alot of ladies online especially in my location here.
Or am i being childish, picky or impatient, i can't even cope with attitude from girls atimes like i can easily get upset and delete a lady's number esp when she's giving me the yes, no, k, replies and when i try to get close to a lady and she's giving me attitude .
Am i proud and arrogant?
Op please push to front page.

You're proud, arrogant, and childish. Also you've been looking for the right girl in the wrong places.

Also maybe you should not priotize having sex when you meet a girl, it beclouds your judgement.


Selah

my brother calm down you are not alone.

Its a ge

Brace yourself dude, shit ain't gonna get better..

U cant trust those dat put on indecent dresses esp d once dat works in bars thats place is where the good girls gone bad.

lemme book space first.......
nairalanders be nice with ur comments cos i'll be coming back to extract sense from this thread.

Op nobody is perfect ok, nevertheless don't ever make a hoe a housewife.

well,on issue of golddigging I will recommend Ubunja's miseducation(how women gold dig you) �

Generallll:
I've been bothered recently about the number of girls I've asked out & ended up starting a relationship with but the moment i get very closer to them, i begin to see things/attitudes that really get me pissed (like some re runs girls, some re gold diggers, some re too fake, artificial and you get to see the real them when you get closer, i went through someone's whatsapp, actually a lady i so much liked & thought she's cool and i saw mind blowing chats of how she Bleep and give some dude blow jobs and all that e.t.c).

how about you first get to know them before you enter a relationship?

I've also been having trust issues and i find it hard to keep female friends and as well keep a relationship, that's because the moment i get closer to a lady the next thing on my mind is to ask her out and then have sex with her. I also noticed i have a high libido for sex and most girls i end up dating ll think i only want them for sex. I've been thinking, has anyone been in this situation and please what's the way out because as a young man, i really want to stay focused, have my own loyal woman and that's all.

same
take your time to get to know them before taking the next step

My question is how do guys that keep female friends without having the urge to Bleep them do it? How do some guys cope with gold diggers or keep such ladies as girlfriends and how can i stop moving from one woman to the other.
Am a social media addict that meet alot of ladies online especially in my location here.
Or am i being childish, picky or impatient, i can't even cope with attitude from girls atimes like i can easily get upset and delete a lady's number esp when she's giving me the yes, no, k, replies and when i try to get close to a lady and she's giving me attitude .
Am i proud and arrogant?
Op please push to front page.

simple
platonic friendship is not for you
it's not by force

Generallll:
I've been bothered recently about the number of girls I've asked out & ended up starting a relationship with but the moment i get very closer to them, i begin to see things/attitudes that really get me pissed (like some re runs girls, some re gold diggers, some re too fake, artificial and you get to see the real them when you get closer, i went through someone's whatsapp, actually a lady i so much liked & thought she's cool and i saw mind blowing chats of how she Bleep and give some dude blow jobs and all that e.t.c).
I've also been having trust issues and i find it hard to keep female friends and as well keep a relationship, that's because the moment i get closer to a lady the next thing on my mind is to ask her out and then have sex with her. I also noticed i have a high libido for sex and most girls i end up dating ll think i only want them for sex. I've been thinking, has anyone been in this situation and please what's the way out because as a young man, i really want to stay focused, have my own loyal woman and that's all.
My question is how do guys that keep female friends without having the urge to Bleep them do it? How do some guys cope with gold diggers or keep such ladies as girlfriends and how can i stop moving from one woman to the other.
Am a social media addict that meet alot of ladies online especially in my location here.
Or am i being childish, picky or impatient, i can't even cope with attitude from girls atimes like i can easily get upset and delete a lady's number esp when she's giving me the yes, no, k, replies and when i try to get close to a lady and she's giving me attitude .
Am i proud and arrogant?
Op please push to front page.

We are in this together, once I become attached , I loose interest immediately.
There are some I didn’t even have sex with, the feeling just died.


It worries me most of the times, I mean, I am not getting any younger. But I am more focused with making enough money.

Calm down bro...u ain't alone on this...sometimes i wonder if one can find a loyal woman ever again....It seems ladies of our time no longer find fulfillment nor satisfaction from one dude...they wanna keep several guys yet expect loyalty from U, need i say the unrealistic demands they make...shit jus gets so frustrating i decided to stay on ma own till i wanna settle down...one thing i hate is having multiple sexual partners...i disgust it or maybe am old fashioned, can't tell. To my dudes out there, never go beyond ur limit in pleasing a woman cos if actually she is pleased in U, she won't stretch U beyond ur limit.

Generallll:
I've been bothered recently about the number of girls I've asked out & ended up starting a relationship with but the moment i get very closer to them, i begin to see things/attitudes that really get me pissed (like some re runs girls, some re gold diggers, some re too fake, artificial and you get to see the real them when you get closer, i went through someone's whatsapp, actually a lady i so much liked & thought she's cool and i saw mind blowing chats of how she Bleep and give some dude blow jobs and all that e.t.c).
I've also been having trust issues and i find it hard to keep female friends and as well keep a relationship, that's because the moment i get closer to a lady the next thing on my mind is to ask her out and then have sex with her. I also noticed i have a high libido for sex and most girls i end up dating ll think i only want them for sex. I've been thinking, has anyone been in this situation and please what's the way out because as a young man, i really want to stay focused, have my own loyal woman and that's all.
My question is how do guys that keep female friends without having the urge to Bleep them do it? How do some guys cope with gold diggers or keep such ladies as girlfriends and how can i stop moving from one woman to the other.
Am a social media addict that meet alot of ladies online especially in my location here.
Or am i being childish, picky or impatient, i can't even cope with attitude from girls atimes like i can easily get upset and delete a lady's number esp when she's giving me the yes, no, k, replies and when i try to get close to a lady and she's giving me attitude .
Am i proud and arrogant?
Op please push to front page.

My own real trick for Gold digger is to show a bigger picture of the future u have with her..how u wanna set up financially in the future if she behave herself. With this she'll calm dowm and start reasoning in your plan.

Originalsly:
Normal stuff.... it's all childishness... immaturity.... you don't even know what you want let alone how to get it. Start having friends in real life... meet people in flesh and blood... then you would come around to knowing people better...making better choices and establishing better relationships.

thanks but how do you mean flesh and blood please?

OladimejiRufai:
You are probably not gonna like my advice but I'll give it anyways.

You are either one of two people. Either you're ready for marriage (you are physically, mentally, emotionally and financially) or you are not (you are lacking all or some major parts of the aforementioned conditions)

So if you are ready for marriage, and what you are looking for is to have your own loyal girl, I don't know why you are still chasing "love" and relationships here and there. What you should do is to go fetch for a wife.

it's true that many bad girls are out there but we have good ones too. But the question is how did you meet the girls you've been dating?

What are the circumstances surrounding your meeting? Where did you meet her? What kind of family did she emanate from? Where is she living? How's her upbringing? What are people saying about her? What are some major events in her life history that are enough to discern the kind of person she is? and so on.

These are things people used to consider in the olden days before marrying a wife. That's why marriages of those days last far longer than these days.

But today, we've been blinded by civilization and the stupid messages we see in love movies and we do not follow due protocols and undergo due studies on who we wish to marry. That's why we fall in the hands of girls that cause us problems of different sorts.

So if you are ready to have your loyal woman and marry her, employ all due protocols like:

seeking them in appropriate places. You go to club and you meet a girl, you see boobs and yansh and you're blown away and you go for her. When she gives you trouble, you complain. Where did you meet her in the first place? So seek a woman in appropriate places.

secondly, that may not be enough. a girl may be going to church regularly and she will still be the community property type. Secondly, study her. Ask people questions about her but make sure you apply wisdom. move closer to one or two aged women of experience in her area that knows her and ask them about her. make them know you are serious about having her as your partner. If they see seriousness in you, they'll tell you the truth.

Discover who her friends are. Who are her advisers, her family members and neighbours? in what environment was she brought up? this will give you serious hints about who she is.

after you have employed all means to study her and she seems to be fine, it doesn't stop there but you can still make your move now.

approach her and ask her out. when she accepts and there's a little chemistry between you, take her home to your parents. let your experienced parents examine her. let them use their experience and wisdom to discern what type of person she is.

So if your parents are fine with her and she has passed all tests, then propose to her and marry her.

That's how they do in olden days and that's why they have better marriages. all these "love me I love you" of nowadays is mostly scam.

And pray for guidance too. very important

That said.

If you are not ready for marriage, Oga find something worthwhile to do with your life. Make money and become freaking successful and independent. work towards achieving all the major conditions that will qualify you as someone ready for marriage. once you attain that, then follow what has been explained above.

Good luck!

Not all women are bad bro. there are some women out there that are just too wonderful (like my mother). they may have some little shortcomings just like everyone else, but generally they are like angels in a man's life. Find them and you will see them.

You ve said it all but you see as a man, sometimes you ll be on your own all this girls ll still come and tempt you and u know we ve blood in our veins and man ll be moved to try something, am not looking for excuses, i so much appreciate your advice and ll try to heed to it but it's easier said than done.

Cholls:
my brother calm down you are not alone.

Really

Kevsmart88:
Calm down bro...u ain't alone on this...sometimes i wonder if one can find a loyal woman ever again....It seems ladies of our time no longer find fulfillment nor satisfaction from one dude...they wanna keep several guys yet expect loyalty from U, need i say the unrealistic demands they make...shit jus gets so frustrating i decided to stay on ma own till i wanna settle down...one thing i hate is having multiple sexual partners...i disgust it or maybe am old fashioned, can't tell. To my dudes out there, never go beyond ur limit in pleasing a woman cos if actually she is pleased in U, she won't stretch U beyond ur limit.

One of the most sensible and eductative post ve ever read on nairaland, oil dey your head

Generallll:


thanks but how do you mean flesh and blood please?

To see/meet somebody in flesh and blood means to see/meet the actual person. Same as to see/meet someone in living colour.

Generallll:

You ve said it all but you see as a man, sometimes you ll be on your own all this girls ll still come and tempt you and u know we ve blood in our veins and man ll be moved to try something, am not looking for excuses, i so much appreciate your advice and ll try to heed to it but it's easier said than done.

indeed the temptation of women is great and in fact, calamities befell past nations and even this generation because of women.

But you should learn to control yourself for it is very important that you do. brother, it's something that you must do otherwise calamities of different kinds are likely to befall you.

many great men have fallen because of women. If God decrees that you become a great man, would you like that you will fall because of a woman. would you like to lose your grace and be disgrace, fall from glory to grass, lose your power and might because of a woman?

many men have contracted diseases because of a woman.

many men have found it difficult to excel in life because they are spending on the ever demanding women to satisfy themselves with transient and short-time pleasure.

The homes of many men have been broken because they cheated on their wonderful and loving wives with another woman.

many have sinned against God through women. I wish I can tell you a story in full but I'll just shorten it.

There used to be a very pious monk. One time, three brothers wanted to go out of town and they had a sister who they'll leave behind. So they were concerned about where she will stay and her wellbeing so men wouldn't take advantage of her so they decided they would put her in the monk's care.

So they went to his house and presented their request. The monk declined and told them he did not want her in his care. He was wary of the temptation of women. So he asked them to leave. So they left.

But the whispers of the devil came and it came subtly. The devil whispered to him to accept the offer and put the girl in his care just to be nice and just to protect her from other men who are not so pious like him to take advantage of her. So he called for them to bring the sister. they brought her and they left.

later, while in his care, he used to put her food outside his door and the lady would come to take it. and that went on for a while until the whispers of the devil came and told him, he should try to be nice and not put the girl to much stress.

So later he began taking the food to her doorstep, knock on the door and will just leave for the girl to take the food and that went on for a while. until the devil came again and whispered to him telling him to be nice and not abandon the girl. He doesn't talk to her or see her and the girl will be lonely.

So he started taking the food inside the house and will sit for some time to talk to the girl. This continued for a while until his feelings and urges got the better of him and he had sex with the girl. That was how a pious monk committed adultery with a strange woman. But it did not end there.

This lady got pregnant from the sex they had and eventually had a baby. So the devil came and whispered to him, telling him to stop acting like a fool and try to cover his secret by killing the child. So he did kill the child.

later on, the devil came again and whispered to him to stop acting like a fool, that did he think the woman will be happy that the child was killed and won't speak out and he asked him to kill the woman. The monk afraid of his reputation as a pious monk in town went ahead to kill the woman.

So later on, the three brothers arrived and they asked after their sister and he told them she's dead and something killed her. They wept and left for him because they trusted the monk to be telling the truth. That night, one of them had a dream seeing the graves where their sister and a child had been buried. he woke up and told his brothers and the brothers said they also had the same dream. they went to the spot they saw in their dream, dug out the grave and they found their sister's body there!

So they headed to the ruler's palace to complain and the monk was arrested. he admitted being guilty and it was judged that he should be crucified. While he was being crucified, the devil came in form of a human now (the devils can transform to humans) and told the monk that he is the devil and he has been the one whispering to him to do all what he did and putting him into that predicament. The devil told him just as he put him in the predicament, he can also bring him out. What is only requires is for the monk to give up his belief in God and submit in worship to him (the devil). So the monk gave up God and submitted to the devil. The devil then laughed and went away (he deceived him). And it was after that moment that life left the monk and he died a disbeliever.

that was how a great and pious monk died as a disbeliever who will rot and burn in hell because of who.... A WOMAN

So bro, you must learn to control yourself. You must. Hardly do you find someone who lusts after women uncontrollably and does not find himself in one predicament or the other.

find all means to help yourself control yourself from their temptation and look for the right woman so you can satisfy all your urges with her.

Generallll:
I've been bothered recently about the number of girls I've asked out & ended up starting a relationship with but the moment i get very closer to them, i begin to see things/attitudes that really get me pissed (like some re runs girls, some re gold diggers, some re too fake, artificial and you get to see the real them when you get closer, i went through someone's whatsapp, actually a lady i so much liked & thought she's cool and i saw mind blowing chats of how she Bleep and give some dude blow jobs and all that e.t.c).
I've also been having trust issues and i find it hard to keep female friends and as well keep a relationship, that's because the moment i get closer to a lady the next thing on my mind is to ask her out and then have sex with her. I also noticed i have a high libido for sex and most girls i end up dating ll think i only want them for sex. I've been thinking, has anyone been in this situation and please what's the way out because as a young man, i really want to stay focused, have my own loyal woman and that's all.
My question is how do guys that keep female friends without having the urge to Bleep them do it? How do some guys cope with gold diggers or keep such ladies as girlfriends and how can i stop moving from one woman to the other.
Am a social media addict that meet alot of ladies online especially in my location here.
Or am i being childish, picky or impatient, i can't even cope with attitude from girls atimes like i can easily get upset and delete a lady's number esp when she's giving me the yes, no, k, replies and when i try to get close to a lady and she's giving me attitude .
Am i proud and arrogant?
Op please push to front page.

I guess you are overrating relationship/love...its OK not to date. I have been single for about 3 years.
You are young,enjoy your life,don't be saddled by the need to be committed.
Its fine and very OK to have flings,its fine to have just one night stands... Don't feel indebted to anyone.don't let a lady make you feel you owe her commitment..
Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for your sexuality.
There is nothing wrong in having a spec or high standards,set your principles,if someone doesn't measure up don't be emotionally manipulated to stay...

BTW,you should focus on other aspects like career,hobbies,etc
You are normal!

OladimejiRufai:


indeed the temptation of women is great and in fact, calamities befell past nations and even this generation because of women.

But you should learn to control yourself for it is very important that you do. brother, it's something that you must do otherwise calamities of different kinds are likely to befall you.

many great men have fallen because of women. If God decrees that you become a great man, would you like that you will fall because of a woman. would you like to lose your grace and be disgrace, fall from glory to grass, lose your power and might because of a woman?

many men have contracted diseases because of a woman.

many men have found it difficult to excel in life because they are spending on the ever demanding women to satisfy themselves with transient and short-time pleasure.

The homes of many men have been broken because they cheated on their wonderful and loving wives with another woman.

many have sinned against God through women. I wish I can tell you a story in full but I'll just shorten it.

There used to be a very pious monk. One time, three brothers wanted to go out of town and they had a sister who they'll leave behind. So they were concerned about where she will stay and her wellbeing so men wouldn't take advantage of her so they decided they would put her in the monk's care.

So they went to his house and presented their request. The monk declined and told them he did not want her in his care. He was wary of the temptation of women. So he asked them to leave. So they left.

But the whispers of the devil came and it came subtly. The devil whispered to him to accept the offer and put the girl in his care just to be nice and just to protect her from other men who are not so pious like him to take advantage of her. So he called for them to bring the sister. they brought her and they left.

later, while in his care, he used to put her food outside his door and the lady would come to take it. and that went on for a while until the whispers of the devil came and told him, he should try to be nice and not put the girl to much stress.

So later he began taking the food to her doorstep, knock on the door and will just leave for the girl to take the food and that went on for a while. until the devil came again and whispered to him telling him to be nice and not abandon the girl. He doesn't talk to her or see her and the girl will be lonely.

So he started taking the food inside the house and will sit for some time to talk to the girl. This continued for a while until his feelings and urges got the better of him and he had sex with the girl. That was how a pious monk committed adultery with a strange woman. But it did not end there.

This lady got pregnant from the sex they had and eventually had a baby. So the devil came and whispered to him, telling him to stop acting like a fool and try to cover his secret by killing the child. So he did kill the child.

later on, the devil came again and whispered to him to stop acting like a fool, that did he think the woman will be happy that the child was killed and won't speak out and he asked him to kill the woman. The monk afraid of his reputation as a pious monk in town went ahead to kill the woman.

So later on, the three brothers arrived and they asked after their sister and he told them she's dead and something killed her. They wept and left for him because they trusted the monk to be telling the truth. That night, one of them had a dream seeing the graves where their sister and a child had been buried. he woke up and told his brothers and the brothers said they also had the same dream. they went to the spot they saw in their dream, dug out the grave and they found their sister's body there!

So they headed to the ruler's palace to complain and the monk was arrested. he admitted being guilty and it was judged that he should be crucified. While he was being crucified, the devil came in form of a human now (the devils can transform to humans) and told the monk that he is the devil and he has been the one whispering to him to do all what he did and putting him into that predicament. The devil told him just as he put him in the predicament, he can also bring him out. What is only requires is for the monk to give up his belief in God and submit in worship to him (the devil). So the monk gave up God and submitted to the devil. The devil then laughed and went away (he deceived him). And it was after that moment that life left the monk and he died a disbeliever.

that was how a great and pious monk died as a disbeliever who will rot and burn in hell because of who.... A WOMAN

So bro, you must learn to control yourself. You must. Hardly do you find someone who lusts after women uncontrollably and does not find himself in one predicament or the other.

find all means to help yourself control yourself from their temptation and look for the right woman so you can satisfy all your urges with her.

You re a great man full ot wisdom, this story has not only enlightened me but somehow brought my senses back, God bless you abundantly.

Michellekabod2:

I guess you are overrating relationship/love...its OK not to date. I have been single for about 3 years.
You are young,enjoy your life,don't be saddled by the need to be committed.
Its fine and very OK to have flings,its fine to have just one night stands... Don't feel indebted to anyone.don't let a lady make you feel you owe her commitment..
Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for your sexuality.
There is nothing wrong in having a spec or high standards,set your principles,if someone doesn't measure up don't be emotionally manipulated to stay...

BTW,you should focus on other aspects like career,hobbies,etc
You are normal!

I feel guilty, dirty and very angry with myself after having flings, it's something i really don't fancy anymore.

Generallll:
You re a great man full ot wisdom, this story has not only enlightened me but somehow brought my senses back, God bless you abundantly.

amen. good luck on finding a good woman

OladimejiRufai:
You are probably not gonna like my advice but I'll give it anyways.

You are either one of two people. Either you're ready for marriage (you are physically, mentally, emotionally and financially) or you are not (you are lacking all or some major parts of the aforementioned conditions)

So if you are ready for marriage, and what you are looking for is to have your own loyal girl, I don't know why you are still chasing "love" and relationships here and there. What you should do is to go fetch for a wife.

it's true that many bad girls are out there but we have good ones too. But the question is how did you meet the girls you've been dating?

What are the circumstances surrounding your meeting? Where did you meet her? What kind of family did she emanate from? Where is she living? How's her upbringing? What are people saying about her? What are some major events in her life history that are enough to discern the kind of person she is? and so on.

These are things people used to consider in the olden days before marrying a wife. That's why marriages of those days last far longer than these days.

But today, we've been blinded by civilization and the stupid messages we see in love movies and we do not follow due protocols and undergo due studies on who we wish to marry. That's why we fall in the hands of girls that cause us problems of different sorts.

So if you are ready to have your loyal woman and marry her, employ all due protocols like:

seeking them in appropriate places. You go to club and you meet a girl, you see boobs and yansh and you're blown away and you go for her. When she gives you trouble, you complain. Where did you meet her in the first place? So seek a woman in appropriate places.

secondly, that may not be enough. a girl may be going to church regularly and she will still be the community property type. Secondly, study her. Ask people questions about her but make sure you apply wisdom. move closer to one or two aged women of experience in her area that knows her and ask them about her. make them know you are serious about having her as your partner. If they see seriousness in you, they'll tell you the truth.

Discover who her friends are. Who are her advisers, her family members and neighbours? in what environment was she brought up? this will give you serious hints about who she is.

after you have employed all means to study her and she seems to be fine, it doesn't stop there but you can still make your move now.

approach her and ask her out. when she accepts and there's a little chemistry between you, take her home to your parents. let your experienced parents examine her. let them use their experience and wisdom to discern what type of person she is.

So if your parents are fine with her and she has passed all tests, then propose to her and marry her.

That's how they do in olden days and that's why they have better marriages. all these "love me I love you" of nowadays is mostly scam.

And pray for guidance too. very important

That said.

If you are not ready for marriage, Oga find something worthwhile to do with your life. Make money and become freaking successful and independent. work towards achieving all the major conditions that will qualify you as someone ready for marriage. once you attain that, then follow what has been explained above.

Good luck!

Not all women are bad bro. there are some women out there that are just too wonderful (like my mother). they may have some little shortcomings just like everyone else, but generally they are like angels in a man's life. Find them and you will see them.

I do not know you but your post is full of wisdom. It portrays you as a very wise man.

However,what would you advise for someone who is in a distant relationship,yet his/her mind will not stop telling the girl/guy is the one? The suggestions up there are relatively impossible or a herculean task to do to say the least for someone in such kind of relationship.

I'll appreciate your words of wisdom on this. Thanks