IAmStrange:
OK, realistically speaking, I think your idea is somewhat faulty.

"If you like someone enough, there'll be no room for number two" is somewhat faulty

We are humans, we have heart and the heart has feelings. The heart has been fashioned in such a way that it reacts to whatever it is exposed to depending on what it feels about that thing. The heart has no control, when it is exposed to something, naturally, it reacts.

That's one of the reasons why we were created with a brain. The brain/mind due its power to distinguish what's right from wrong or what's good or bad, is the one that we then use to control, tame and discipline our heart desires.

So what you said is somewhat faulty because the fact that she loves you doesn't mean she can't love somebody else

IAmStrange:
OK, realistically speaking, I think your idea is somewhat faulty.

"If you like someone enough, there'll be no room for number two" is somewhat faulty

We are humans, we have heart and the heart has feelings. The heart has been fashioned in such a way that it reacts to whatever it is exposed to depending on what it feels about that thing. The heart has no control, when it is exposed to something, naturally, it reacts.

That's one of the reasons why we were created with a brain. The brain/mind due its power to distinguish what's right from wrong or what's good or bad, is the one that we then use to control, tame and discipline our heart desires.

So what you said is somewhat faulty because the fact that she loves you doesn't mean she can't love somebody else. She has a heart and if that heart sees in another person what it desires, it will definitely be drawn to that person. it is now left for the owner of that heart to control the heart desires and discipline it from going overboard or to extreme.

So basically what I'm saying is your girlfriend can have feelings for you and still have for someone else. It's now left to her to decide with her mind which one of you she wants and then use her mind to control the heart to stick to her choice and not look elsewhere.

So you giving up on her should depend on how far she went with the other guy to discover if she seems to have made her choice between you two or maybe, she has even chosen to have you two (you know that levels now ).

So what really transpired between them during their "meeting"? Did the guy just ask her out and that was it? Did they just talk? Or they have taken it to the level of which she took it with you of which gives you the impressions that she wants something serious (relationship) with the other guy?

If it's just that they met and talked or the guy just asked her out? That's something that's almost inevitable so that shouldn't be enough reason to break up

But if they have taken it serious, I'm not going to advise you on what to do... But if I were you, I'll run...

I personally cannot stand someone I love sharing her love, affection and commitment between me and some other guy. I'll just leave in peace.

Well, that's me. perhaps I'm wrong. maybe if I had experience of relationships, maybe i would know better to know that's wrong.

But as I am now, that would be my choice.

All the same, I advise you to use your sense and open your eyes. I repeat use your sense on your judgement

Meanwhile I don't want to see that Riele girl on this page If you come across this thread, just skip. Go and wash plates for your mummy.

If I see you here, na serious spanking

ibkayee:
It's normal for you to feel some type of way about not being the priority, what she did is actually pretty common, people just don't tend to be as outrightly blunt about it as she was.

Your being hurt by it isn't an overreaction in my opinion since the average human would've felt the same way, however pulling out of the proposal makes you come across as salty. I don't think either of you have done anything wrong to be honest, you're both just being...human

How exactly did you 'pull the proposal' if you don't mind me asking

mandalorian:
"Let me think about it" does it still exist? you messed up for too long

samdavjustin:
First off Inmessage is the headquarters on olosho online, that her excuse I don’t buy it. It’s always a big mistake trying to change a hoe you should have bleeped her and keep it moving. I don’t think you made a mistake in your decision it’s your first decision that was wrong.

dawnomike:
You are just protecting your heart... when you feel better, continue as friends

HawksDude:


By simply telling her I wasnt interested in her anymore. She can follow the other dude.

I dont think i came out as salty. It's common sense. Its obvious she wasnt satisfied with whatever i had to offer and had to go out to be sure. I somehow feel she may even dump me later on if she had gone ahead with the relationship. I take note of simple cues.

ibkayee:

That's fair, I don't fault your response at all

What you did was normal but you may come across as salty to her

HawksDude:


How about how she comes across to me?

HawksDude:
Hello guys, I have thought of this issue for two days now and I want to be sure I made the right decision or I’m overreacting.

Sometime in February, I went to see a family member in a South Western state in Nigeria so I lodged in a hotel for 3 days. As a guy nao, I wanted to kill some boredom with some company, so I logged into InMessenger to see if I get some hook up (if you know what I mean) with a student in the University around. And that was how I came across this babe that is giving me this issue.

I sent her a message but didn’t get a response. Later in the first week of June this year, that was how I got a ping on my phone. Lo and behold, it was her. I asked her what took her so long, she responded she doesn’t really use the app. That ruled out my thought of her being a hooker.

Then we started to talk and getting to know each other. I opened myself up. I really liked her. Later in August, she came down to Lagos. I was never o happy to meet someone like I did when we eventually met. She was almost perfect for me, ticking all the boxes such as Genotype (I’m AC so I can only do AA); good and intact family; great personality; ambitious; and highly intelligent.

After giving a lot of thought to it, I decided to tell her how I really felt about her later in the second week of October 2019. You know these days if you don’t do quickly in saying your mind, someone else will come and take the person away, and I couldn’t afford to lose a rare gem.

After making my intentions known, she said she feels the same way too but I should give her time to think about it which I did. I never go any response from her till date, after us basically ‘Dating’ like a regular bf and gf.

The issue.

Recently I enquired on why she's taking so long to make our relationship official and I decided to inquire about the other guys she has on her case as I could sense her attention has been somewhat divided. She hesitated in answering, that was how I knew there was more, so I decided to press further. After much persuasion, she decided to open up on the guys she has on her list and how shes “taking her time to choose”! I felt weak.

I felt bad after hearing that she met someone else at a conference I encouraged her to attend after I told her how I felt. I was obviously an option to her while she was my priority. She said we were the top two she has a thing for.
In my own understanding, if you like someone enough, there will be no room for number two. And that was how I pulled out of my relationship proposal and asked for some space which didn't go down well with her. But it sounded like a reasonable thing for me to do at the time.

So, guys, did I overreact or did I do the right thing?

bestabigaelever:
You did the right thing
This has happened to me b4, 2 good guys on my neck but then I know who I like the most
So I chose him

I believe greed wont let most of us girls to know exactly what we want

BarrSly:
I can't bliv you guys are advising a nigga to date a hooker.... Guy take it or leave it she's a prostitute!!!!


In fact I have been in your situation before it was not until her friend set her up and brought her to me in a drunk state that the girl started to misbehave in my presence and expose herself.


I was fucking lucky... Made my pass on her friend though she never really agreed but I spanked some lol ....

So back to the topic.. just leave her alone before she gives you aids

IAmStrange:
OK, realistically speaking, I think your idea is somewhat faulty.

"If you like someone enough, there'll be no room for number two" is somewhat faulty

We are humans, we have heart and the heart has feelings. The heart has been fashioned in such a way that it reacts to whatever it is exposed to depending on what it feels about that thing. The heart has no control, when it is exposed to something, naturally, it reacts.

That's one of the reasons why we were created with a brain. The brain/mind due its power to distinguish what's right from wrong or what's good or bad, is the one that we then use to control, tame and discipline our heart desires.

So what you said is somewhat faulty because the fact that she loves you doesn't mean she can't love somebody else. She has a heart and if that heart sees in another person what it desires, it will definitely be drawn to that person. it is now left for the owner of that heart to control the heart desires and discipline it from going overboard or to extreme.

So basically what I'm saying is your girlfriend can have feelings for you and still have for someone else. It's now left to her to decide with her mind which one of you she wants and then use her mind to control the heart to stick to her choice and not look elsewhere.

So you giving up on her should depend on how far she went with the other guy to discover if she seems to have made her choice between you two or maybe, she has even chosen to have you two (you know that levels now ).

So what really transpired between them during their "meeting"? Did the guy just ask her out and that was it? Did they just talk? Or they have taken it to the level of which she took it with you of which gives you the impressions that she wants something serious (relationship) with the other guy?

If it's just that they met and talked or the guy just asked her out? That's something that's almost inevitable so that shouldn't be enough reason to break up

But if they have taken it serious, I'm not going to advise you on what to do... But if I were you, I'll run...

I personally cannot stand someone I love sharing her love, affection and commitment between me and some other guy. I'll just leave in peace.

Well, that's me. perhaps I'm wrong. maybe if I had experience of relationships, maybe i would know better to know that's wrong.

But as I am now, that would be my choice.

All the same, I advise you to use your sense and open your eyes. I repeat use your sense on your judgement

Meanwhile I don't want to see that Riele girl on this page If you come across this thread, just skip. Go and wash plates for your mummy.

If I see you here, na serious spanking

Yuneehk:
Top two

She's keeping two so if one messes up, she'll fall back on the other. You aren't overreacting. If at the end, she decides to "choose" and it's not you, what happens? You'd be the one feeling hurt.
You'd get another in a matter of time, so let her be.

HawksDude:


I pray. You cant imagine how hard it is to "get another"

Yuneehk:

You didn't plan to meet this one, did you? It'll happen when you least expect. Good thing is when it happens, you won't have to be worried about her choosing you.