QuickStandard:


My 5yr old daughter has a cane!!!

My 2yr old twins have theirs as well.

No time for 21st century training, the same way I was raised is the same way I will handle them....

Bible said, spare the rod and spoil the child.

"Trust some of us raised in the village, no time for nonsense.
The only difference is I will always provide whatever is needs, not wants
QED

budaatum:
Sounds like your 17 year old niece has led your daughter astray. If I were you, I'd send her back home to start with, then me and hubby have to sit down and be honest about how we both produced this or lie and rue the consequences of our errors.

Queenellahrose:


I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me.

budaatum:
Sounds like your 17 year old niece has led your daughter astray. If I were you, I'd send her back home to start with, then me and hubby have to sit down and be honest about how we both produced this or lie and rue the consequences of our errors.

Inyayiz:
Sorry for your pains ma

I never turned bad but I can partially relate, I was in science class back in secondary but I lost passion for science and wanted to switch to arts, my counselor never allowed me, she said I wanted to ruin my life and I should work harder blablabla, got me sad and down that I lost interest in school, other things contributed to me losing interest e.g I got bullied a lot, started skipping school, wrote waec and passed, woulda graduated already but I've never really understood calculations, and botanical names, in essence, I'm a sucker for science, still struggling in school now, applied for transfer to another department already, I might drop out if its unapproved... All these woulda been avoided if I was allowed to switch..


Please ma, talk to her like a friend and a sister, motivate her to finish up with her studies and promise to let her study music in the university, you can also enroll her for music/ dance classes before then, let her go for what she has passion for, it's not too late ma.

Amanda4life:
I'm blaming you also.

Why should be going to work and Left . them at home.

budaatum:
Sounds like your 17 year old niece has led your daughter astray. If I were you, I'd send her back home to start with, then me and hubby have to sit down and be honest about how we both produced this or lie and rue the consequences of our errors.

pennywys:
were you there to know who led the other astray?

Don't be a demon

Tomjazzy2:
It's always sad reading things like this. No parent want this for their kids.

Forgive me OP, but I think you and hubby should share the blame on this. You both clearly haven't dedicated enough time towards parenting those kids.

You see, "enough time" in the above context is relative. Kids generally, can be classified into two: the regular ones who would still be well-behaved even if their parents spend less time at home or with them, and then the special ones who require a more pragmatic parenting approach.


Your kids fall into the later category. They are very special and thus, require an equally special parenting, in order to enable them use the potential they've got positively.

As a remedial at this stage, I will strongly advise against going "tough" on them. I can assure you this would only exacerbate the situation. Rather, try meeting them halfway. The one that wanted music, is it not going to be wise to give it a serious thought? How is her progress in school?

Oh, and please, for the sake of your sanity and home, try and make peace with your husband. Remember you both want the same thing -- the best for the girls. Forgive him for blaming you too much. I'm sure, like you, he did so out of frustration.


Above all, do not concede that those girls are beyond redemption. Okay, they may have lost their way a little bit, but I can assure you, just like other kids, they can fulfill their potentials, too

DADYMIKE:
So sorry ma
But sending your cousin away is not the solution, the friends they make will still come after your daughter, and infact you can't monitor a child over a habit, you only need to teach them how to fight their addiction or bad character.

Another thing is that, parent fail when they think that provision for the physical thing of their child is all a child needs,no ma, children need attention of both parents, you and your husband really need to sit down and talk on how to create time for her,she your only future and the reason why you are working,if she is good, your hard work will pay and if she's bad, your hard work will go down the drain, you really need to create time to ask her what she going through, how you can be of help because this is what she lack and she went out to look for it, please ma, even if it will cost you your job, you really need to do this because she will be emotionally down currently which if persist can lead to another thing and I pray the spirit of the Lord will touch her and your niece and they will be hundreds and thousands for you

Queenellahrose:
I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.

My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.

She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.

I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .

I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.

My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.

We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.

Inyayiz:
Sorry for your pains ma

I never turned bad but I can partially relate, I was in science class back in secondary but I lost passion for science and wanted to switch to arts, my counselor never allowed me, she said I wanted to ruin my life and I should work harder blablabla, got me sad and down that I lost interest in school, other things contributed to me losing interest e.g I got bullied a lot, started skipping school, wrote waec and passed, woulda graduated already but I've never really understood calculations, and botanical names, in essence, I'm a sucker for science, still struggling in school now, applied for transfer to another department already, I might drop out if its unapproved... All these woulda been avoided if I was allowed to switch..

Queenellahrose:
I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.

My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.

She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.

I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .

I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.

My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.

We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.