Leave matter. I have seen parents who did their homework. Spent ebough time with the kids , went the discipline route and the children ended up fúcked up. I swear the thought of raising children gives me the chills.
I feel your pain..its youthful exuberance... One scares me to be a parent is my child becoming a marlian..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xIeDaMpmCY Hey I'm a teen producer from lagos doing it all on his own and I'll appreciate if y'all check my beats out and show some love(subscribe).I'm not trying to be annoying just wanna pursue my dreams
budaatum: Sounds like your 17 year old niece has led your daughter astray. If I were you, I'd send her back home to start with, then me and hubby have to sit down and be honest about how we both produced this or lie and rue the consequences of our errors.
Dont kill your self becos some one refuse to eat your food; chop your food and pray. for your daughter no give your self high blood pressure ooo. na youthful exorbiarance de worriam. do your best and dont worry becos worying wil not solve any problem it will only compound your worry.
Queenellahrose: I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.
My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.
She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.
I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .
I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.
My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.
We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
Discharge her niece, enroll her in an after school music class, get to know who her High School "bestie" is, embrace the friendship or advise her against it, and then have a close watch of your daughter.
She's a good girl, you just don't know your own kid yet.
Queenellahrose: I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.
My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.
She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.
I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .
I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.
My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.
We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
Your husband is right by the way....He was beating them but "you felt bad".....Your children waited for hours for him to come back before discipline......"You avoid talking to your children so you will not beat them"
This all proves that you are not the woman leader. You are the first point of discipline to your girls......Get working!!!
Zonax to his useless homosexual father and his spermbank wh0re mother: If you have a mother you won’t be on Nairaland making fun of other people’s problems.
Just incase you haven't noticed the new 18 is 10 All children of nowadays want to do is grow up and no one is there to explain to them that being a child is the most lovely part of a humans life. Sometimes i think about kids and I'm like no i won't have them I'll just adopt cause I'm scared, scared of giving birth to a daughter like me its crazy but if my parents knew the things i did back then trust me i would've been done as in done But one i love about my parents is that i was never pressured to do the right thing especially by my mom i thought she didn't like me but later on i noticed it helped yes i made some mistakes but atleast i knew i had a choice. The word that kept me was "if you can't do it in public don't do it at all" trust me when i say it was a struggle many people say I'm way too grown up for my age i just say its the troubles that moulded me *Your daughter is a teenager, we do thing sometimes not because we do not know it is wrong but because we want to be responsible for our actions* You only birthed her let the rest be her choice make her know that teach her the word of the Lord and pray for her ps each time i wanted doing something bad i remembered my dad was praying for me and the fear of God revealing it to him stopped me She'll learn just let her be responsible for her actions treat her as an adult
If you have a mother you won’t be on Nairaland making fun of other people’s problems. Go thank your God you said this on Nairaland if not you would have learnt your lesson.
Queenellahrose: I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.
My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.
She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.
I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .
I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.
My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.
We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school
I never turned bad but I can partially relate, I was in science class back in secondary but I lost passion for science and wanted to switch to arts, my counselor never allowed me, she said I wanted to ruin my life and I should work harder blablabla, got me sad and down that I lost interest in school, other things contributed to me losing interest e.g I got bullied a lot, started skipping school, wrote waec and passed, woulda graduated already but I've never really understood calculations, and botanical names, in essence, I'm a sucker for science, still struggling in school now, applied for transfer to another department already, I might drop out if its unapproved... All these woulda been avoided if I was allowed to switch..
Please ma, talk to her like a friend and a sister, motivate her to finish up with her studies and promise to let her study music in the university, you can also enroll her for music/ dance classes before then, let her go for what she has passion for, it's not too late ma.
That's it. Some people can jump into baseless conclusions so fast.
OP, my advise to you is this. Don't ever try to go hard on those children.
You need to talk heart to heart with them all the time. As for the gadgets you took away from them. It was a big mistake. Don't do that. Give it to them. Those are what you can use to get to know how they got to where they are.
And understand how to help them. It is time to bug the house and their devices. Act like you even care more for them. You will see that at the end of the day, all that's nor clear will become so open.
You are an adult and should learn to control your emotions. Talk to your husband. This is not the time for blame games. The children need you more at this stage.
You have to be tatful with the way you handle the children.
While youre doing your investigation on them, keep counselling them. And be nice so they can always open up to you. See you as their confidant.
At their school, make one of their teachers your friend. Pay him or her if necessary. Ask the teacher to help you pay special attention to them. Give account of their weekly activities to you.
Use all these information as reverse psychology on them. In your counseling make them realize you know everything about them. That they are not impressing you by their act. But you still love them nonetheless.
Whatever, the idea is to not make them see you as a bad person. The idea is you want them to have those bad people replaced in their heart with you their mother.
Once they begin to feel free to tell you things, you will win.
Make them your best friends.
Your children simply need love and care. They appear to find it from those bad persons. Be wise.
Queenellahrose: I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.
My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.
She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.
I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .
I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.
My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.
We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
Discuss and settle with your husband. Remember he is the head, and the head can never be wrong. Even when he is at fault, he is right. Then change your daughter's school. If it means changing school each session to prevent her from having confidants, please do.
You guys can also relocate, park to a new area. She must be cut off from all evil acquittance and confidants.
Queenellahrose: I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.
My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.
She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.
I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .
I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.
My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.
We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
Madam,to get things in place,you have to understand that all lapses are from you because looking through the whole expression you mis- interpreted the place of DISCIPLINE in your home for CARE.Anyway it is not too late so go to your husband and beg him by assuring your support for the correctional control.Moreever in the book of proverb 13:24 "He who spares his rod hates his son,he who loves him disciplines him promply" so go by this you will sing for joy in the future days.
Queenellahrose: I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.
My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.
She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.
I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .
I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.
My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.
We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
If possible send them back home to Nigeria, let them go through the hard way we went trough and became VIPs today ,raising children in the western world has a lort of challenges so try this and thank God latet
I won't blame u ma, this is what u get in failed system, pray for your girls, I pray ur huband calms down, also take it easy with ur with urself, hbp is real, keeping doing ur best. God bless ur family.
Queenellahrose: I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.
My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.
She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.
I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .
I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.
My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.
We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
Leave blames at this time. The solution is what is needed. First, pray and ask God for direction, then take action in love. Apologize to your husband so that you will bring back peace and harmony back to your home.
Then, both of you should reason together on the next step to take concerning the well being of your girls.
A wise woman buildeth her home remember. I pray that God Almighty will give you the much-needed wisdom to handle this. It will end in praise.
Please, I will write about it on Linkedin and hear the elder's opinion there. I will like to link up with you so that I can send link to the post for you to go through. Shalom.
Tomjazzy2: It's always sad reading things like this. No parent want this for their kids.
Forgive me OP, but I think you and hubby should share the blame on this. You both clearly haven't dedicated enough time towards parenting those kids.
You see, "enough time" in the above context is relative. Kids generally, can be classified into two: the regular ones who would still be well-behaved even if their parents spend less time at home or with them, and then the special ones who require a more pragmatic parenting approach.
Your kids fall into the later category. They are very special and thus, require an equally special parenting, in order to enable them use the potential they've got positively.
As a remedial at this stage, I will strongly advise against going "tough" on them. I can assure you this would only exacerbate the situation. Rather, try meeting them halfway. The one that wanted music, is it not going to be wise to give it a serious thought? How is her progress in school?
Oh, and please, for the sake of your sanity and home, try and make peace with your husband. Remember you both want the same thing -- the best for the girls. Forgive him for blaming you too much. I'm sure, like you, he did so out of frustration.
Above all, do not concede that those girls are beyond redemption. Okay, they may have lost their way a little bit, but I can assure you, just like other kids, they can fulfill their potentials, too
You are such a special being Thumb up to your intelligence
They are both teenagers with teenage hormones, beating and passing blames is a waste of time. You can't blame your husband because he buys his only daughter expensive things, That's fatherhood 101. Trust me, every capable father would over pamper his only daughter, she is his queen and you can't change that. What you and your husband need to do is realise that blames and a separated family would make things worst. Get your shit together and both of you have a talk with you husband's niece and your daughter. Whether you like it or not, your husband's niece is an elder sister to your daughter, someone she looks up to. Talk to them with sweet words, let them know how much they let you down, hug them, give them a kiss, get to know some of the friends they hangout with, just make them feel loved. The guilt would make them avoid such bad decisions next time.
The truth bee told, You the parent are at fault. You too busy to get close to your daughter and know how she's doing or feeling. Taking care of your daughter I way more than giving her education madam. I suppose you still knew you're too busy for her and that's why your brought your niece to take your place in her life. First things first, get Rid of your niece and quit that busy job you into then Give your daughter that attention she needs
It’s not easy living in a country with no family support, we have rent , bills and school fees to pay and we had no other choice than leaving them at home alone. I do get home at 8pm mon to sat. I hate working long hours and spending less time with my kids but I have to because my husband has never made enough money for us to live off his salary alone and due to some circumstances i was the sole breadwinner for 7 months last year (story for another day).
Madam you need to work out an arrangement where you or close relatives/friends can support in bring up your child. All the best
Queenellahrose: I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.
My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.
She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.
I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .
I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.
My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.
We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
"...I leave the house by 6am while my husband leave before me(perhaps 4am)..." That is where the problem comes in, you spend little time with your children. What do you expected?
I don't see any reason why a parents should be friends with their teenage kids,they don't have the brains to balance things even between themselves ,.,..especially mothers and daughters ,.....having heart to heart talk is not the issue ,na cane to cane ,we are in African. They should be fear
Queenellahrose: I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.
My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.
She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.
I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .
I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.
My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.
We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
Have you checked her to know if she is still a virgin?
