This is scary! You are not an idiot. It's possible he has another family 'in the abroad'.

Ijeoma1187:
This is what I get anytime money comes up

Very weird people.

frugal:

What a primitive & sexist thing to say. I dey shame for you.

Yen yen yen. Keep supporting thrash! Every man has his weakness and should endeavour on eradicating such before encumbering another person's daughter or what am I missing. Y'all lay so much emphasis on grooming women to be wife's materials but who is grooming you guys to do better. See what a head of a home sent a wife that's battling health issues in her child, whilst he's away.

Centrallock:
Ijeoma1187 you must be the nagging type, posting those WhatsApp chats and all is for what exactly? To be pitted i guess, from who? Online user's, nairalandlers? That's pathetic and mind you no marriage is made in heaven, every man has his weaknesses, some cant abuse you but will ridicule you emotionally, some won't ridicule you but cheat on you massively infant no need typing much. But leaving your home will not make you any good based on this issue, secondary am suprised at the type of family you have. How can you father and parents expect you and ask you to come home especially your dad without giving this young man any opportunity to correct his bullshit. Your husband is an emotional idiot who is controlled by his emotions and not his senses, is your dad a saint? Are your brothers saint?, every man has once in a while stepped out of place. Now the only thing i can tell you is if you cant for the sake of your child make peace in your home as the neck of the family then you clearly should not have been in marriage in the first place. And if you eventually pack out your husband will freely adapt to the society not you regardless of what your parents says and brothers they will not be there for your at all time, and once you start giving them responsibilities expect them to complain. Let your brothers allow you to face your challenges at home.
I wish i cant qoute that your immature husband who has given away his power and masculinity for the sake of emotions and insecurities that nigga needs to sound slap.
But i will still write this here so you can see incase you somehow gets to have a glance at this,
Men dont argue with a woman, in arguments women are always 100 and 1% right. Secondary when in marriage any money you give to your woman count it as a loss in other words if you have 400k to give start by giving it bit by bit cause surely demands must come, even you as a man spends more than budgeted sometimes not to talk of women, and for the sake of christ stop abusing your wife nigga, what will abusing her add to you? Do you think you can have abusive words more than her if she decides to engage you on one? Why on earth will you tell you friends shit about your wife can you defend her in the cause of insults from them? Friends are not your family dude, and how ever you wish to handle your marriage always remember misunderstand is guaranteed how you handle it is what makes you a man and earns you respect not your rants and abuses. Know the difference between pride and taking responsibilities. As a man you must know that your wife should be your priority because a happy wife is a happy home. Anything else friends her brothers and father is all distraction focus on your wife.

What kind of movie is this on Nairaland?

seanwilliam:
@Martins231 , ijeoma1187...Danteeee


First and foremost, no matter what, 400k is not easy to come by..call me broke or whatever, that is the truth. Giving out money to wife, family or friends is not easy.. for you to give out money to someone, it takes a lot of selflessness, generosity and care..so learn how to appreciate your husband for providing you and daughter's needs..cos if it was easy, you would have had your own Money..

Secondly.. your husband is not emotional mature.. seeking advice from friends of relative as par relationship IS NOT BAD( because you cant know everything.. and you need to seek people with experience) but taking the advice without proper analysis is nonsense.. HIS MISTAKE WAS forwarding the message directly to you.. ..


My advice to you martin

Do not beg the family of your wife, cos doing that means handling over your total manliness.
Sooner or later, make sure you chop the eyes of your wife's brother.( this might sound harsh, but if you fail to do this, it would hunt you forever.. find a way to rubbish him back)


Now to you ijeoma

Two wrongs dont make a right.. since you know your husband is not emotionally mature and cant take marital decisions on his own, you should have used your own senses too.. women are expected to have sense too not only men..


Let me tell you where you got it wrong ijeoma

How many times your brother has ever tabled his own family issues to you ? Is he a saint? No , but he handles his own in a mature way...
Your uncle/brother Danteeee is very FOOLISH to abuse your husband.. remember in marriage, YOUR HUSBAND IS SUPERIOR to your family...

If you divorce, is he going to give u a new husband?? Let assume he does, what if issues broke out with the new husband, are you gonna leave that one and marry another one.??..
You are also not maritally and emotionally mature too..

Now to your father and your entire family.....

See, if you decide to follow there advice or you stay with them, at the end of the day, they would get tired of you and would indirectly tell you to leave by telling you that u are choking them..

By that time, it would have been late, cos you would have become evening newspapers....and guess what? Your original husband would be living fine and large.. what about your uncle/brotherDanteeee? He might not even pick your calls again...


Ijeoma all I could see from your post is you are trying to play victim card and garner pity.. but note that some of us here wont buy that from you cos we are emotionally sound..

In this issue, if you take wrong decision ijeoma, you would be the one to loose and bite your finger at the end of the day .... A SUBMISSIVE wife lasts longer in her matrimonial home... but should you decide to inculcate feminism, be ready to face the consequences...



..

.there is no best or better marriage anywhere. We only have patchable and manageable marriage
... solutions
1.both of you should pray to God
2.both of you should Seek for marriage counselling,
3. Ijeoma start your own business or go find work...this is 2020, your husband should not bear your 100% responsibility.. you should take care of the daugter together.
4. Be more submissive to your husband ijeoma
5..Martin you should analyse advice well befor applying it in marriage..u need to be emotional sound
6.. Ijeoma take your husband over your family
7. U people should start living together
8. resolve issues before it escalates
9. See your marriage as the best
10.. dont give room to third party( it doesn't mean you shouldnt seek advice)... hey I'm not married ooh, but this is my POv
....
Cc. Ubunja
Aro1
Martinez39
ilegend
Harddon
Donstan18
Shirababa
Richdad..

These people can contribute..

thanks for the mention bro..

You have said it all..

But, what i will just mention to this is: never be a sissy to anyone @poster. Even if you are being fed by them, you have the right to exercise your authority.

You are the head of the family.. How are you sure that in future, your wife wont rebel against you again.. Just stamp your authority in your home.

I wish you best of luck..

Bros abeg nor vex oo. But did you pay her Bride prize?

Please I need advice on how to handle this, I gave my wife the sum of 400k for her and my 2 years old daughter around November and this January she’s already calling to tell me that she’s out of cash and I got worried and started questioning her how she spent such amount on feeding within such a short period of time ,that made us got into serious arguments which lasted for 2 days then I have to ask few married friends if is ok to exhaust such amount of money on feeding within 3 months and they gave me their answers which I sent to my wife too ...Now my wife immediately forwarded same messages to his brother living abroad too and also along with some conversations we had long time ago where she got me angry and insulted her by calling her idiot and stupid ...... His brother got angry and ask her to divorce me and immediately she started packing her belongings,I saw so surprised when she called me that she’s leaving my house ....I also learnt that his brother called his friend living in Abuja too to go and drag her out of my house if she doesn’t want to go ...... So I was so surprised when she asked me where to drop my keys I have to start begging her to calm down but she insisted that his family wants her to go ,then I have to call her mother and explained my own part of the story but the mother said there is nothing she can do since her siblings wants her to go . Now the problem is that my wife doesn’t want to go anymore but she doesn’t have the courage to tell her family that we have settled our misunderstand and doesn’t want to go anymore . She wants me to start calling every member of her family including her father to apologize and reassure them my love towards her again but to me I don’t know how to start the conversation with the father more especially because i believe having issues in marriage is normal and everyone understands that fact and since I have made up with her is their any need calling her family again

NB: They brother in abroad gave me the insult of life by sending a message to my wife which she also forwarded to me by calling me all sorts of names like immature and childish husband, and this same guy is of the same age bracket with me. Plz I need ur candid advice don’t mind my English and typos.

martin231:
Initially I did not want to comment after my post, I only wanted to read but now i have to....Well, I think most of y’ll here got it all wrong I didn’t come to Nairaland to fight her or make her start feeling bad again ,I begged her promised not to verbally abuse her again that was after she forwarded me the messages she have been saving on her phone , those words was actually September 2019 but she saved all of it on her phone and i was surprised when she forwarded all of it to me this January and I begged her and gave her my word not to repeat it again , also y’ll should know that something actually triggered those words even though she didn’t post that part here, but still nothing to justify myself for saying those words to her.......Like I said, I begged her and made up with her, so we sure not fighting more ...... So the reasons why I actually came to nairaland is to seek if there is need calling her father since i have not gotten any calls from him about what happened (My Father in-law) in Quote for those that did not understand “ Now the problem is that my wife doesn’t want to go anymore but she doesn’t have the courage to tell her family that we have settled our misunderstand and doesn’t want to go anymore . She wants me to start calling every member of her family including her father to apologize and reassure them my love towards her again but to me I don’t know how to start the conversation with the father more especially because i believe having issues in marriage is normal and everyone understands that fact and since I have made up with her is their any need calling her family again“ Also why i mentioned about the money part was coz i wanted people to understand the gravity of the misunderstanding that is not really something serious...... All I wanted was advice or how to start conversations with the Father since I and my wife have already made up because she keep insisting that I should call the father, if not she will leave but sadly I don’t know what to him” ( Like should I tell him that I had a fight with my wife and we have made up? That I just wanted to tell him that we had a fight but we’re fine now? �) My captions says it all “I’m inexperienced “

You want advice on how to start a conversation with your father inlaw?



You are also a clown I must say!

You started this thread to ask for advice on how to start a conversation with your father inlaw but you took 98% to tell us a story painting your wife as a financially immoral woman.

Deleted as OP has deactivated

nkwuocha1:


Be wise Ijeoma.
You may not be at fault,but be careful how you decide to handle this hence.First,go to him and ask him to delete this thread, peacefully.

Secondly,take your child for treatment tomorrow.

Thirdly,DO NOT FORCE him to call your dad.Go your normal activities like you don't care if he calls him or not.

A wise woman thinks like a man though a woman.Be silent hence,watch and concentrate on your baby.


Again,Do not comment.Delete your posts and go offline.

If he is still foolish to keep this thread then he is immature as your brother insinuate.

[b]why would you advise them to delete the thread? would it change anything or unseen what has been seen? Una busy body too much..

Danteeee:


Well said and thank you very.. but lemme make one thing clear and final.. my parents are happily married and would never want their daughter to be a divorcée.. most times u just have to look beyond what’s happening now and focus on the latter.. do u think we just work up and say “oya pack up” Don’t u think that this abuse, toxic, lack of respect, insecurity, immaturity and childish behavior has been lingering for a long time!? Do u know how many times the said young man has been given the opportunity to clean his mess?? How would u feel if ur sister, daughter or loved one is the subject of discussion among friends every god dam time there is a misunderstanding at their home Like she’s some sort of a property or what?? Do u know what it means for ur spouse ( man or woman) to keep talking down on u until u loose ur self worth, confidence and emotions Have you ever dealt with an indecisive person before?? We can’t be that stupid to want her to leave her home just for mere misunderstanding cos we really don’t care what goes on in her home.. but when u see that things are getting out of hand then u can step in and save a life since the dude doesn’t want to charge of his home. now take a look a the rampant domestic violence we having these days.. it’s not a day or one time thing.. it’s an anger and abuse that has been building for a long time and it only takes a trigger before it blows out of proportion.. now do u say it’s ok to make “ur wife” a subject of mockery with friends?? And she, rather than doing the same resorted to family?? Honestly we want her to be happy, confident, treated with respect and not a hell in a marriage all because of what society will think of her.. for sure we can’t keep giving her money but will definitely set her up financially more in her growing business.. once again, thank y’all and ur sincere advice well noted!

am not in the best place for criticisms but bro next time you're trying to be your sister protector, ring the young man nd tell him why your not happy with the way he is handling your sis, your parents should come last. Nursing this opinion of leaving her home is not the best considering the differences at hand. Your sis ain't a saint you know?
The young man must have his own share of frustrations too. If your wife tends to report your every Bleep up to your in law you will understand how frustrating it can go, and secondly your sis has already been given this impression by you guys in leaving her home at any slight provocations and you think she will not always capitalize on it? Come on!

Gloriagee:
Yen yen yen. Keep supporting thrash! Every man has his weakness and should endeavour on eradicating such before encumbering another person's daughter or what am I missing. Y'all lay so much emphasis on grooming women to be wife's materials but who is grooming you guys to do better. See what a head of a home sent a wife that's battling health issues in her child, whilst he's away.

I wish i had the strength to leave you with a reply that can educate you but then since you're not the subject to this thread I'll pass. Try harder next time. Bye!
Gloriagee you're ignored!
Dont sweat it dont waste your mention.

OK, wateva works for you, Mr. Educator

Centrallock:
I wish i had the strength to leave you with a reply that can educate you but then since you're not the subject to this thread I'll pass. Try harder next time. Bye!

martin231:
Initially I did not want to comment after my post, I only wanted to read but now i have to....Well, I think most of y’ll here got it all wrong I didn’t come to Nairaland to fight her or make her start feeling bad again ,I begged her promised not to verbally abuse her again that was after she forwarded me the messages she have been saving on her phone , those words was actually September 2019 but she saved all of it on her phone and i was surprised when she forwarded all of it to me this January and I begged her and gave her my word not to repeat it again , also y’ll should know that something actually triggered those words even though she didn’t post that part here, but still nothing to justify myself for saying those words to her.......Like I said, I begged her and made up with her, so we sure not fighting more ...... So the reasons why I actually came to nairaland is to seek if there is need calling her father since i have not gotten any calls from him about what happened (My Father in-law) in Quote for those that did not understand “ Now the problem is that my wife doesn’t want to go anymore but she doesn’t have the courage to tell her family that we have settled our misunderstand and doesn’t want to go anymore . She wants me to start calling every member of her family including her father to apologize and reassure them my love towards her again but to me I don’t know how to start the conversation with the father more especially because i believe having issues in marriage is normal and everyone understands that fact and since I have made up with her is their any need calling her family again“ Also why i mentioned about the money part was coz i wanted people to understand the gravity of the misunderstanding that is not really something serious...... All I wanted was advice or how to start conversations with the Father since I and my wife have already made up because she keep insisting that I should call the father, if not she will leave but sadly I don’t know what to him” ( Like should I tell him that I had a fight with my wife and we have made up? That I just wanted to tell him that we had a fight but we’re fine now? �) My captions says it all “I’m inexperienced “

Ring your father in law, keep away all pride that's your second dad man. Greet him well and dont tell him anything about your issues with her daughter unless he asks, and if he does, please dont tell him anything concerning what your wife is doing wrong, just take all responsibilities, apologize and give him reassurance over his daughter's welfare. You can only discuss your differences when you meet him physically and on a good mood maybe outing. Pls dont criticizing your wife over the phone. Good luck.

martin231:
Initially I did not want to comment after my post, I only wanted to read but now i have to....Well, I think most of y’ll here got it all wrong I didn’t come to Nairaland to fight her or make her start feeling bad again ,I begged her promised not to verbally abuse her again that was after she forwarded me the messages she have been saving on her phone , those words was actually September 2019 but she saved all of it on her phone and i was surprised when she forwarded all of it to me this January and I begged her and gave her my word not to repeat it again , also y’ll should know that something actually triggered those words even though she didn’t post that part here, but still nothing to justify myself for saying those words to her.......Like I said, I begged her and made up with her, so we sure not fighting more ...... So the reasons why I actually came to nairaland is to seek if there is need calling her father since i have not gotten any calls from him about what happened (My Father in-law) in Quote for those that did not understand “ Now the problem is that my wife doesn’t want to go anymore but she doesn’t have the courage to tell her family that we have settled our misunderstand and doesn’t want to go anymore . She wants me to start calling every member of her family including her father to apologize and reassure them my love towards her again but to me I don’t know how to start the conversation with the father more especially because i believe having issues in marriage is normal and everyone understands that fact and since I have made up with her is their any need calling her family again“ Also why i mentioned about the money part was coz i wanted people to understand the gravity of the misunderstanding that is not really something serious...... All I wanted was advice or how to start conversations with the Father since I and my wife have already made up because she keep insisting that I should call the father, if not she will leave but sadly I don’t know what to him” ( Like should I tell him that I had a fight with my wife and we have made up? That I just wanted to tell him that we had a fight but we’re fine now? �) My captions says it all “I’m inexperienced “

Oga go and sin no more. In fact, call only your father in-law out of respect that you're sorry about everything he heard( no need to lunch the story again) and deeply apologize to you wife again plus make conscious efforts to absolutely stop the verbal abuse no matter what! Also, sharing details of your marital lives with others doesn't always end well...desist biko.

See how we only saw your bad words while the trigger was omitted? Yeah, that's how good lawyers too win battles in the court of law. They highlight only the shiit of the opposition. You become guilty because the glass broke into several pieces in your hands. Biko desist forever!

As for your brother in-law, please call the guy and apologize for all the drama you and your wife have dragged him into. Just apologize for everything and move on with your lives.

One last thing, try to find out good family HMO to subscribe so that your baby can have consultations/treatment when required. You guys only need to choose a good hospital beside you and it would cover you, the madam and three more babies to come...fee is between 100k-120k naira for a whole year premium. As for monthly stipend for madam...make it a monthly stipend biko and leave her to appropriate as she desire. I hope she's learnt what becomes of women who solely depend on their husbands.

I wish you guys good luck...may God bless your family and everyone's. Cheers.

Centrallock:
Ring your father in law, keep away all pride that's your second dad man. Greet him well and dont tell him anything about your issues with her daughter unless he asks, and if he does, please dont tell him anything concerning what your wife is doing wrong, just take all responsibilities, apologize and give him reassurance over his daughter's welfare. You can only discuss your differences when you meet him physically and on a good mood maybe outing. Pls dont criticizing your wife over the phone. Good luck.

I absolutely agree...let's just bury the hatchet.

� FAKE

thosedays:
A woman you married decided to leave, on the order
Of her brother/siblings not even her parents.

The next line of action you took was to start begging?
This really shows the kind of man you are.

I don't pity you because you deserve whatever treatment
You get from her family.

You think because he married her, he owns her like a property and is allowed to abuse and frustrate her whichever way he pleases?
THANK GOD FOR FAMILY!
THANK GOD FOR BROTHERS!
Some cowardly men would wish women had no men in their lives to protect them.

sonofanarchy:
[b]why would you advise them to delete the thread? would it change anything or unseen what has been seen? Una busy body too much..

Na tatafo dey worry you.

[s]

DaHrNn0001:


Please don't....I'm newly married too...no one or relative will control my home... You made your mistakes but not at the mercy of her family... Unless you didn't marry her rightly... I had issues with mine the next day of my wedding and while I was walking away I mistakenly her to the wall and had a cut. The family wanted her back like beat her and I said OK... Na she carry herself come back after few hours without apologizing to anyone rather my woman... Man up and don't let anyone be using abroad to be abusing your integrity as a man.

[/s]

Mistake indeed!
By your words, one can tell the kind of husband you are and what you're capable of

Ihe a na-aluta na di

Ijeoma1187:
Should I continue to let the cat out of the bag?? It’s really not nice when you come here to make other people look bad .... since your pride won’t let you call my dad. Well Tuesday I am leaving.... how will you marry a woman just for one year and leave without even calling and speaking to them, are you just satisfied with seeing pictures of your baby?? Just picture..... well it’s so sad since we have started this remember my brothers too are on nairaland I will tell them to come and read as well .. you have come to seek 3rd party opinion.... in all these mess I never told my people or involved anybody but you keep telling people is this how you want to handle your family.... I am really really angry imagine him seeking 3rd party opinion from him divorced friend whose marriage didn’t last up to a year...: be there and watch me go, in all honesty I have tried as a woman and you won’t find any woman like me

Nne ozugo . . . don't even bother.

Men who cry over money are disgusting, honestly. Does your husband know that some men give their wives that amount of money MONTHLY?? Are the not human beings too?

Please pack your things and go back home. When he comes back let him come and marry you again.

Yeye man!

Ijeoma1187:
This is what I get anytime money comes up

JESU!!!!

Centrallock:
Ijeoma1187 you must be the nagging type, posting those WhatsApp chats and all is for what exactly? To be pitted i guess, from who? Online user's, nairalandlers? That's pathetic and mind you no marriage is made in heaven, every man has his weaknesses, some cant abuse you but will ridicule you emotionally, some won't ridicule you but cheat on you massively infant no need typing much. But leaving your home will not make you any good based on this issue, secondary am suprised at the type of family you have. How can you father and parents expect you and ask you to come home especially your dad without giving this young man any opportunity to correct his bullshit. Your husband is an emotional idiot who is controlled by his emotions and not his senses, is your dad a saint? Are your brothers saint?, every man has once in a while stepped out of place. Now the only thing i can tell you is if you cant for the sake of your child make peace in your home as the neck of the family then you clearly should not have been in marriage in the first place. And if you eventually pack out your husband will freely adapt to the society not you regardless of what your parents says and brothers they will not be there for your at all time, and once you start giving them responsibilities expect them to complain. Let your brothers allow you to face your challenges at home.
I wish i cant qoute that your immature husband who has given away his power and masculinity for the sake of emotions and insecurities that nigga needs to sound slap.
But i will still write this here so you can see incase you somehow gets to have a glance at this,
Men dont argue with a woman, in arguments women are always 100 and 1% right. Secondary when in marriage any money you give to your woman count it as a loss in other words if you have 400k to give start by giving it bit by bit cause surely demands must come, even you as a man spends more than budgeted sometimes not to talk of women, and for the sake of christ stop abusing your wife nigga, what will abusing her add to you? Do you think you can have abusive words more than her if she decides to engage you on one? Why on earth will you tell you friends shit about your wife can you defend her in the cause of insults from them? Friends are not your family dude, and how ever you wish to handle your marriage always remember misunderstand is guaranteed how you handle it is what makes you a man and earns you respect not your rants and abuses. Know the difference between pride and taking responsibilities. As a man you must know that your wife should be your priority because a happy wife is a happy home. Anything else friends her brothers and father is all distraction focus on your wife.

A nag you say? You dared to call a woman who chose to speak up and defend herself a nag? Urgh! Well, ain't this about a b!tch!

What do guys of this generation really want in women?
If you want someone that keeps quiet when you talk? Get a doll!
Even a robot wouldn't take that sh!t from the so-called husband

maynation:
There is something I don't understand biko.

From the screenshot the acclaimed wife shared, her brother sent her the link to this thread at about 11 PM and she already posted her counter posts at about 9PM.
Didn't the brother see her sister's comments ni?

Something is fishy abeg, I just don't know what exactly.

What's fishy about it?
The woman was letting us know his brother already saw the thread, and it was an embarrassment to her.

Danteeee:


Well said and thank you very.. but lemme make one thing clear and final.. my parents are happily married and would never want their daughter to be a divorcée.. most times u just have to look beyond what’s happening now and focus on the latter.. do u think we just work up and say “oya pack up” Don’t u think that this abuse, toxic, lack of respect, insecurity, immaturity and childish behavior has been lingering for a long time!? Do u know how many times the said young man has been given the opportunity to clean his mess?? How would u feel if ur sister, daughter or loved one is the subject of discussion among friends every god dam time there is a misunderstanding at their home Like she’s some sort of a property or what?? Do u know what it means for ur spouse ( man or woman) to keep talking down on u until u loose ur self worth, confidence and emotions Have you ever dealt with an indecisive person before?? We can’t be that stupid to want her to leave her home just for mere misunderstanding cos we really don’t care what goes on in her home.. but when u see that things are getting out of hand then u can step in and save a life since the dude doesn’t want to charge of his home. now take a look a the rampant domestic violence we having these days.. it’s not a day or one time thing.. it’s an anger and abuse that has been building for a long time and it only takes a trigger before it blows out of proportion.. now do u say it’s ok to make “ur wife” a subject of mockery with friends?? And she, rather than doing the same resorted to family?? Honestly we want her to be happy, confident, treated with respect and not a hell in a marriage all because of what society will think of her.. for sure we can’t keep giving her money but will definitely set her up financially more in her growing business.. once again, thank y’all and ur sincere advice well noted!

Please no need to come online and defend crap . . . you guys should go and get your sister and protect her from that horrible person she calls husband. If she were my daughter or sister, I would do same!

SUPERPACK:
This story is completely fake. Why will both the husband and wife create new accounts within one hour and this is their first comments. Do you guys think we have nothing else to do? Mynd44 this thread should be taken down pending when they come up with their real accounts.

Very boring thread. I have just one comment. The hospital fees are way too much
What did your baby have on her skin that cost that much in a government hospital?

UjuJoan2:


Nne ozugo . . . don't even bother.

Men who cry over money are disgusting, honestly. Does your husband know that some men give their wives that amount of money MONTHLY?? Are the not human beings too?

There is no need for this comparison. You don't know the OP's financial status or know him too well to insinuate he may be stingy. This your mindset is damaging.

Mariangeles:

A nag you say? You dared to call a woman who chose to speak up and defend herself a nag? Urgh! Well, ain't this about a b!tch!

What do guys of this generation really want in women?
If you want someone that keeps quiet when you talk? Get a doll!
Even a robot wouldn't take that sh!t from the so-called husband

you call this speak up?
Defend herself online? Goan rest
I only blame the hubby who chosed to disgrace himself over trivial issues
you're ignored. Move on

The greatest mistake I made in my marriage was involving 3rd party into it. Madam Ijeoma, pls be calm and chart a new coast.
I'm going to advice you as a father and a husband.
1.Be slow to anger,as a gentle tongue can break the hardest bone.
2. Be assertive concerning your marriage. They said it's not the bed of roses,so expect challenges and be strong to overcome them.
3. Know that your siblings love you but can stay in the marriage for you. Just make it work by yourself so that even if,they are not there, it will stand.
4. Know the temperament of your husband and adjust.
5. Know your excesses and lapses and work towards perfection.
6. Respect you husband and revered him as mandated by God.
7. Pray for your marriage as if your life depends on it.
8. Don't go to your parents home, go to his elderly ones and his uncle that he respect a lot, stay there until the issue is settled amicably.
9. Remember that you are young and growing, so, expect a misstep, but try and amend it.
At 30yrs, the guy is just becoming a man with a lot of expectations,responsibilities and uncertainties about himself and the marriage. He's there comparing and processing his single days and also confused about everything.
He may be seeing his EX and comparing them them to his wife. Mr Dantee , pardon the guy and let them grow to understand and stand for themselves, it's just 2 kid trying to be adults and parents. Just assist and don't be harsh on them. Sometimes, just persuade them in a gentle way to do the right thing. You na in-law, just be patient. They will grow and learn.

Majority of the MY WIFE IS A BAD PERSON THREAD, if the woman is given the opportunity to defend herself I am sure the people that support the man will take their support back immediately.

I’ve seen it play out more than 10 times on this forum.

martin231:
My captions says it all “I’m inexperienced “

Oga you’re not “inexperienced” if you’re, you wouldn’t create a thread like this. Your intention was for your wife to be ridiculed that’s why you only mentioned the 400k and not the expenses you knew and even authorized.

Route99:

There is no need for this comparison. You don't know the OP's financial status or know him too well to insinuate he may be stingy. This your mindset is damaging.

The comparison is for people like the OP, and any other man, who thinks his financial contribution to his own family is something to make noise about. No matter how much you are giving, some other man out there is matching it and more. So when you want to make noise, stop and think. That other person is a man just like you. You both have equal capacity to make money. No need blaming a woman for falling short.

And yes, any man who makes noise about giving his wife money is stingy.

merahki:



Very boring thread. I have just one comment. The hospital fees are way too much
What did you baby have on her skin that cost that much in a government hospital?

Garki hospital is not a government hospital. It is one of the expensive hospital around with the quality of the services they offer. Research before you speak.

dalongjnr:
The greatest mistake I made in my marriage was involving 3rd party into it. Madam Ijeoma, pls be calm and chart a new coast.
I'm going to advice you as a father and a husband.
1.Be slow to anger,as a gentle tongue can break the hardest bone.
2. Be assertive concerning your marriage. They said it's not the bed of roses,so expect challenges and be strong to overcome them.
3. Know that your siblings love you but can stay in the marriage for you. Just make it work by yourself so that even if,they are not there, it will stand.
4. Know the temperament of your husband and adjust.
5. Know your excesses and lapses and work towards perfection.
6. Respect you husband and revered him as mandated by God.
7. Pray for your marriage as if your life depends on it.
8. Don't go to your parents home, go to his elderly ones and his uncle that he respect a lot, stay there until the issue is settled amicably.
9. Remember that you are young and growing, so, expect a misstep, but try and amend it.
At 30yrs, the guy is just becoming a man with a lot of expectations,responsibilities and uncertainties about himself and the marriage. He's there comparing and processing his single days and also confused about everything.
He may be seeing his EX and comparing them them to his wife. Mr Dantee , pardon the guy and let them grow to understand and stand for themselves, it's just 2 kid trying to be adults and parents. Just assist and don't be harsh on them. Sometimes, just persuade them in a gentle way to do the right thing. You na in-law, just be patient. They will grow and learn.

No word for the guy.
Did you see how you exonerated or rather, downplayed the atrocious acts of the husband and then turn around to heaped the "advice" on the victim?
She couldn't keep quiet any longer and had to voice out, now she has to endured being cowered and victimised with hypocritical advices too.