I thought marriage was for weak "men". Confused things.

MY BROTHER JUST WAIT A LITTLE, DELAY THE MARRIAGE PROPOSALS AND WAIT YOU WILL SEE THAT MATURITY AND SENSES WILL FALL ON YOU. MATURITY MY BROTHER IS WHAT YOU NEED.
NOTHING HAS HAPPENED AND YOU ALREADY SHOUTING. MATURITY WILL MAKE YOU SLAP YOURSELF WHEN YOU REMEMBER. YOU HAVE BEEN CLOUDED NOT TO SEE. JUST CALM DOWN, PURSUE ACADEMICS THA MORE , SENSES OF THANKFULLY I DID NOT MARRY THAT GIRL. MY BROTHER SAVE YOUR LIFE. DO NOT MARRY HER IS WHAT I'M SAYING.

Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...

Are you sure you'd be able to handle the consequence(s) if you decide to go ahead with your plan?

So ..if everyone from the same village are related, it means everyone from the same state are related na.. Also everyone from the same country....
Wtf am i even saying seff, we're all related. From Adam.
Since the "we're all related" fact has been established, Op, ask your parents why they married??

Op, your hand clap? As in , you get money? ...I no sure.. If pepper rest where u dey, u go know say this kine stupid tradition na rubbish.

Hustle o.. Make dem no tell u who u go marry and who not to marry!

In my church i cant count the no of couples who went against tradition and their family's personal interest yet remain happily married to this day.

Infact my friend's Dad wrote our church not to join his son with his girlfriend (now wife) with threats. Today they are still happily married with a son.

The moral of the story is this- Once God is involved, tradition and everything else does not matter.

72Morale:
No matter how stubborn and wise you think you are; Don't ever go against tradition and against your family wishes once it has to do with marriage.

Love isn't even one of the top 5 things to consider in marriage because it's just a self-deceptive word that does not contribute anything to a marriage.

Davepal:
Ask your father very well. Which clan does she come from ? If you guys are of the same clan, then it's advisable not to marry her.

Every community in Igbo land has a clan. A community might be up to 4 to 5 clans, more or less. Clan is a lineage of the same family spread within villages of the same community.

I had similar experience, but i was discourage by the girl's mother.

Please how did you go about it? What did you do next? Did you break up with her? If yes how? I really don't want to hurt her. I still want to keep in touch with her forever.. I love her so much

Some people are still suffering today for the incest the committed without knowing and you that is aware of it ur punishment will be more than double if u commit it. If you doubt ask around and see the state of the people that commited incest or their children.

72Morale:
No matter how stubborn and wise you think you are; Don't ever go against tradition and against your family wishes once it has to do with marriage.

Love isn't even one of the top 5 things to consider in marriage because it's just a self-deceptive word that does not contribute anything to a marriage.

This is a lie... Too long told that it has led many into unhappy unions and marriages devoid of love.

Love is and will continue to be the bed and sustaining rock of any marital Union till the end of time.

You mean you don't have any elderly person, maybe spiritual or any councillor that you can meet especially some one you knows she respect, oga you need someone that will seat her down ,

Wetin consign me. Op go on ur knees and pray. Leave emotions...

Reelmii:
youthful exorbitant... continue arguing with ur ancestors very soon u will argue with ur balls

exuberance

adioolayi:
Go ahead and marry her....Just read the beautiful story of Samson and Delilah....Go ahead and marry against your parents wish...I am not saying you are not matured enough to make decisions, after all it's your home, your life.... but then what the elders see while sitting, children don't see even while on tree top.

My friend, keep quiet cause you don't even know the story of Samson and Delilah that you refrenced. Your advice is noid and void.

pocohantas:
Any Nigerian lady that marries a man against his family’s wish is not very realistic.

If a woman’s family doesn’t like a man, he will survive as she is the one coming into his and women will most likely put their home/marriage before family.

If a man’s family doesn’t like you, you will most likely not survive it as a woman. It is only a matter of time, he will bend to his family’s will.


I have no problem with you, I have a problem with the girl that doesn’t know what she is getting into. Controversial marriage background + non-support of in laws = ticking time bomb.

Wizzy

I concur.

AWFCNAIJA:


This is a lie... Too long told that it has led many into unhappy unions and marriages devoid of love.

Love is and will continue to be the bed and sustaining rock of any marital Union till the end of time.

If we check now, you have had sex with her.

Even our illiterate great grand father's and mothers are more sensible and rational than us with all our supposed knowledge and information.

Oga walk out before the unthinkable happens.

adioolayi:
Go ahead and marry her....Just read the beautiful story of Samson and Delilah....Go ahead and marry against your parents wish...I am not saying you are not matured enough to make decisions, after all it's your home, your life.... but then what the elders see while sitting, children don't see even while on tree top.

Laye.. The age of Methuselah is nothing compared to the wisdom of Solomon.. I no need climb stool seff, i go see pass that elder wey sitdon for ground... Mtcheew nonsense tradition

Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...

Truth is, you cannot marry that girl and it will be stupid of you to elope with her. YOU WILL SURELY REGRET IT.


This is mostly common with villages that are very small where each family are related one way or the other.

My village is like that whereas the neighboring village and in fact, many other villages in my town can marry within themselves.


If you do stay in the village, you will notice and feel that oneness among all your village people that makes it impossible for them to marry.


Don't let westernization ruin your life

If we check now, you have had sex with her.

Even our illiterate great grand father's and mothers are more sensible and rational than us with all our supposed knowledge and information.

Oga walk out before the unthinkable happens.

A very rich friend of mine from imo state made that same mistake few years ago by ignoring his parents warning not to marry a girl from the same village,do you know what the guy is doing now? He is a mad man at owerri ebeiri market. As at 1996 ,this guy has two big cosmetics shops in orlu market. He was the first guy to buy Toyota Fj cruiser in orlu market and later bought Honda Element.Now everything is gone.He is a mad man now because he committed an abomination by marrying a girl that is related to him by blood.i feel pained because this guy paid my flight ticket when I traveled to Spain in 1997,but there is no way I can help because the crase don enter market level.So for your own good, leave that girl and look for another wife to marry.after all there are so many fishes in the river.if you fail to listen to your parents and marry that girl,your own don finish be dat.

Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...

Justdogood:
This is incest.

Are you guys mad ni?
What do you call love?

At your age you dont know you shouldn't shag your cousins even to the 6th generation cousins.
Not to talk of marrying one.
What is wrong with this generation?
Go to your holy books, which ever one you believe in Bible ooooo, koran ooooo, you will see it there.

See your mouth like I will damn the consequences.
Its not just consequences, its a curse. An abomination. A taboooo.
Imgine tell us you do all a man does for a woman for her.
Go for prayers as you have been sleeping with you distant cousin. Maybe 4th or 5th generation cousin.


Tuweeee.
Spits on kids of nowadays.

Wait oooo.. How did the children of Adam increase?

Unless you are ready to bear the brunt of the consequences of your actions,eg: death of your kids in infancy,unexplainable hardship etc.

Neroiam:


Laye.. The age of Methuselah is nothing compared to the wisdom of Solomon.. I no need climb stool seff, i go see pass that elder wey sitdon for ground... Mtcheew nonsense tradition

Before a tradition is set, there's a reason for that.

These are mainly small villages where each person is related in one way or the other

sacx:


Are you the OP? No? The door!

so because he's OK at 25yr means he's a Yahoo boy or could be yahoo boy...isalright

Mandem12:


When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

Wait o ...OP ..let me get this clear!! ...did your father say you're related to her by blood ..or is it just because you're from the same village ?

Strika22:


So indulging in incest is not against God

How is it Incest, everybody is everyone's cousin

The issue is not that she us from ur village. Everyone marries from his or her village. The issue is that u were not listening to what ur father was saying. He meant "the girl is from ur blood lineage which is popularly called IKWU. And no one marries his Or her IKWU. It is a taboo, unless it is done unknowingly. Ask ur dad again which IKWU u come from and let him be specific in mentioning it. Inquire from the girl's family if they are the same (note: some people's village ikwu is link to fatther and some are linked to the mother.
Therefore, if ur father tells u and ur ikwu are the same, please kindly leave her but if they are not same, go ahead and marry her. However, if they are not the same and ur father doesn't want u to marry her, inquire more, maybe she could be ur lost step sister.
Thanks

72Morale:
No matter how stubborn and wise you think you are; Don't ever go against tradition and against your family wishes once it has to do with marriage.

Love isn't even one of the top 5 things to consider in marriage because it's just a self-deceptive word that does not contribute anything to a marriage.

You have given him the best advise let him be talking about stupid love.

This one pass me
But just pray to God to lead you Sha
Everything will be okay

idonhammer:
A very rich friend of mine from imo state made that same mistake few years ago by ignoring his parents warning not to marry a girl from the same village,do you know what the guy is doing now? He is a mad man at owerri ebeiri market. As at 1996 ,this guy has two big cosmetics shops in orlu market. He was the first guy to buy Toyota Fj cruiser in orlu market and later bought Honda Element.Now everything is gone.He is a mad man now because he committed an abomination by marrying a girl that is related to him by blood.i feel pained because this guy paid my flight ticket when I traveled to Spain in 1997,but there is no way I can help because the crase don enter market level.So for your own good, leave that girl and look for another wife to marry.after all there are so many fishes in the river.if you fail to listen to your parents and marry that girl,your own don finish be dat.

Thank you so much for this. I appreciate

Neroiam:



Wait o ...OP ..let me get this clear!! ...did your father say you're related to her by blood ..or is it just because you're from the same village ?

He said people from the same village don't marry each other because they're related somehow

PuZZyNegro:


Before a tradition is set, there's a reason for that.

These are mainly small villages where each person is related in one way or the other

If they can't trace their lineages and conclude they're related, let them get married, God will bless their union not tradition.