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She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . - Romance - Nairaland

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He Dumped Me After I Lost My Virginity To Him / My Girlfriend Wants Me To Break Her Virginity: What I'm Going To Do? / How Easy Is It To Forget The One You Lost Your Virginity To? (1) (2) (3) (4)

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She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by kokoye(m): 6:50pm On Dec 20, 2010
This is something I saw in the Punch Newspaper just now.

http://odili.net/news/source/2010/dec/19/801.html

From the guy:

  I dated a girl for about two years. But all of a sudden, she changed her behaviour towards me. Whenever I asked what went wrong, she gave excuses. I discovered she was no longer interested and I left her alone. Initially, she told me that she was a virgin and we decided not to have intimacy. She even promised me that if I don't meet her as a virgin I should do anything to her. Now she wants me back and she told me she has lost her virginity to a guy she dated after me. When I heard this, I was very sad. But she asked for forgiveness. Though I still love her, I do not know if she will be faithful again.

Yusuf, Lagos

_____________________________

Here is the columist's response (this is from a lady btw) :

If this lady could not sacrifice the pleasure of another man's flesh for you, then, she is not worth your love. When a partner who claims to be a virgin brazenly sleeps with another man, then she is telling you to go to blazes! The other man must have disappointed her and she wants to return to you because she knows that you will forgive her. Be sure she won't go back to that guy, if he appears on the scene. She could even get another lover and leave you at her convenience. I advise that you forgive her, but don't think of anything serious with her.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by kokoye(m): 6:51pm On Dec 20, 2010
So what do you ladies think of the columnist's reponse or advice?
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by nitrogen(m): 6:54pm On Dec 20, 2010
she's right
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by kokoye(m): 6:57pm On Dec 20, 2010
^^

some Nairaland females may think otherwise . ,
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by Osama10(m): 6:59pm On Dec 20, 2010
Very True.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by Specialist900(m): 7:19pm On Dec 20, 2010
Very right
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by Rocktation(f): 7:24pm On Dec 20, 2010
I want to believe that the columnist is half mad, because i really don't know why virginity should be a price for love. They had their spat and never knew they'd make up. So then, didn't the both of them move on with their own lives? Or was she supposed to remain a virgin for all time just because she promised some boyfriend her innocence? Abeg, people break convenants all the time jor, it's no reason for others to run temperatures.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by luvlyb: 7:27pm On Dec 20, 2010
yeh pretty much, guessing the overall piece of advice is to leave her which is best.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by Dsense(m): 7:32pm On Dec 20, 2010
OP.
Very true and right!
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by livedit(f): 7:35pm On Dec 20, 2010
Ahh, so this is the case of her thinking the grass was greener on the other side.  Now that she know's it's not, she wants to go back to the other side.  I agree with the poster to a certain extent. I can sympathsize with the guy because he invested 2yrs. with this gal and then for her to diss him like that. Therefore, HE left her.  The article never mentioned how old these two people are.  I vouching to say that she sounds young, very immature and definitely wasn't ready for no real relationship.  Why I say that? Is because of this statement>>She even promised me that if I don't meet her as a virgin I should do anything to her.<<  He should've realized from that statement alone and what her intentions was if they don't work out.  So the "girl" is not as completely at fault.  He should've known then what she was about.  But maybe the "love" he had for her blinded him and he didn't read between the lines.

Now, she has a right to give her virginity to anyone she pleases.  It's not written in stone that he HAD to be the one to "deflower" her.  If I read the article right, I do believe they weren't even together when she did get "deflowered" so whatever she did during that break-up is none of his business just like whomever he was with was none of her business.  That kills me how some men/women think some women/men owed their virginity to you.  Unless, they were married.  Nobody owes him/her nothing.  

So that's up to him if he wants to forgive her for mistreating him before he broke it off . Which I can understand why he broke it off.  But if he does forgive her, then it better be so they can build a firm foundation based on love and trust and because he genuinely believe she is sincere and want to build a life together or not.  But I feel if he's only reasoning is purely based upon her going back on her "promise", that's not a good excuse and there was no real love there anyway.  At least, that is what I think.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by donkennyakademy(m): 8:08pm On Dec 20, 2010
in the first place girls always claim to be superior and wiser over we men. The girl in a first place was never a virgin. From the passage she gave the guy her world claimming to be virgin and also give him an authority to do her anything he want if he finds her lieing. In this case she purposely cause a brakeup in their friendship for her to be able to frame her stories of loosing her virginity. From the passage she cause their brakeup and later calling it back with a followed-up xcuse dat she has lost her virginity. One thing with girls is that they can full many men at a time but they cannot full all men at a time. That girl plan was really a senior game plan.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by kokoye(m): 8:36pm On Dec 20, 2010
OK. so if the girl was initially a virgin as she claimed and another guy came to take the cake, then the newer's guy raps and moves were stronger grin

Bottomline, dont let any girl brainwash you into believing all that stuff - go for it in you want it that much, and if she wont let you have it, move on if that's all you really care about.

Dont come crying over what you couldnt have (cos you sucked) while some other uncaring guy got it easily.

The same girl will be laughing at you and calling you a slacker for being a perfect gentleman. When it is time to settle down and get married, she knows the perfect person to go and meet - you .

The sad thing is maybe did guy did not even really care if she was a virgin or not at first. But then the girl said it to boost her ratings. . .and if it was a lie, of course she'll look for a smooth way to appease the guy - good thing she did not even say she was Molested. Now it feels like some lowlife peasant has come to steal your life savings.


The guy slacked and someone got the cake - he should deal with it. I have been there before - several years ago. grin
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by 190(f): 8:42pm On Dec 20, 2010
what ever no need crying over spilled milk
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by daduke2k(m): 8:49pm On Dec 20, 2010
virginity thread again. Ok oo
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by kokoye(m): 8:51pm On Dec 20, 2010
^^^

whether we choose to accept it or not, it is still a big deal to some people. Or else some ladies would not be using it as bargaining chips.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by Osama10(m): 8:52pm On Dec 20, 2010
daduke2k:

virginity thread again. Ok oo

That tells you how important it is, even though we always say its not important.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by kokoye(m): 8:55pm On Dec 20, 2010
^^^

some ladies are even shelling out thousands to sew the damn thing back up  grin
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by daduke2k(m): 8:57pm On Dec 20, 2010
and guyz kip doing d job of breakin and enterin
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by slap1(m): 9:57pm On Dec 20, 2010
The columnist's response was not right, IMO. Why the hell would she say the girl brazenly lost her virginity? Did she know the circumstances in which she lost it? Is virginity a barometer for measuring faithfulness in a relationship? The girl returned because she realized her mistake, it's just a pity her virginity didn't make it. And if you love a girl coz of her virginity, it means you've not disvirgined a girl b4 and wants to see what it tastes like! So take the chic back, I say. You'd have a leverage over her if u take her despite evritin.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by kokoye(m): 10:11pm On Dec 20, 2010
^^^^

slap1:

You'd have a leverage over her if u take her despite evritin.

Leverage ke . .do they care about who has leverage?

A lot of females believe they are smart and can have their way with any man - all it takes is to massage our ego a li'l bit . . right ladies?  wink  cheesy

and are you going to be referring to the lost virginity claim whenever there's a fight?  I dont think that's a good thing.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by InkedNerd(f): 11:09pm On Dec 20, 2010
slap1:

The columnist's response was not right, IMO. Why the hell would she say the girl brazenly lost her virginity? Did she know the circumstances in which she lost it? Is virginity a barometer for measuring faithfulness in a relationship? The girl returned because she realized her mistake, it's just a pity her virginity didn't make it. And if you love a girl coz of her virginity, it means you've not disvirgined a girl b4 and wants to see what it tastes like! So take the chic back, I say. You'd have a leverage over her if u take her despite evritin.

@OP: I agree with slap1. The story reminded me of when I lost my virginity. I had a male friend who at the time knew I was a virgin and wanted me to lose my virginity to him. I told him that at any point in time that I'm with him and things get hot and heavy that I would lose my virginity to him. Unfortunately for him, things didn't go down like that. I ended up losing my virginity to another guy I knew. The guy I lost it to had no idea I was a virgin and when my friend found out, he was furious. I asked him what the difference was between having sex with me as a virgin and having sex with me as a non-virgin. He said that there was no difference its just that knowing he'd be the first to have me was what he wanted. I ended laughing at him and asked him if it was a race or something. As far as I was concerned, I was still the same person I was when I was a virgin. Seems like some guys focus way to much on a woman's virginity. Its doesn't determine how faithful. The editor should have asked the guy if he was a virgin as well. If not, I don't think its fair for him to be running around screaming bloody murder. Yes, I will admit due to the emphasis we as a society have on virginity, some women do use it as a means of mind control but not all.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by Chrisbenogor(m): 11:12pm On Dec 20, 2010
1. He is one of those guys that should be rounded up and shot (Gestapo treatment)
2. Whats the fuss about virginity self? the girl hawked her wares person price well now the guy is sulking, out with him jor!
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by daduke2k(m): 11:15pm On Dec 20, 2010
any more comment?
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by Specialist900(m): 8:16am On Dec 21, 2010
kokoye:

^^^

some ladies are even shelling out thousands to sew the damn thing back up  grin
grin
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by SALady(f): 9:04am On Dec 21, 2010
eish! my bubble just got burst. I opened topic with excitement just to do this kikikikikkkiiiikiiii thinking this had happened to the actual poster, oh well.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by iice(f): 12:28pm On Dec 21, 2010
Don't make promises of any kind i always say.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by jaephoenix(m): 12:37pm On Dec 21, 2010
Oh pls spare me!.Like someone pointed out her gameplan.That girl wasnt a v when he met her initially,starved him of good strafe,created a 'breakup' by actin strange,now is back with a story.Been there,done that.Babes r good strategist when it comes 2 r/ships.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by holydante(m): 4:26pm On Dec 21, 2010
there is no need crying over spilled hymen milk cheesy

She promised, she failed to deliver just like Nigerian PDP politicians, life goes on. get over it, dont be Virgin hungry.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by kokoye(m): 4:38pm On Dec 21, 2010
iice:

Don't make promises of any kind i always say.

best response so far . . from a female.

The promise was the root of the wahala.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by kokoye(m): 4:40pm On Dec 21, 2010
SA Lady:

eish! my bubble just got burst. I opened topic with excitement just to do this kikikikikkkiiiikiiii thinking this had happened to the actual poster, oh well.

oh spare me!

me wey I don marry like 50 years ago. what's my own with virgin mobile or virgin atlantic?
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by IyaBasira: 5:54pm On Dec 21, 2010
The crux of this story is whether she CHEATED or not.

Her virginity or non - virginity is not really the issue. She belongs to no one but herself so she doesnt have to explain that issue to no one.

The story goes thus ; " Now she wants me back and she told me she has lost her virginity to a guy she dated[b] after [/b] me. When I heard this, I was very sad. But she asked for forgiveness. Though I still love her, I do not know if she will be faithful again. "

She dated the next guy AFTER her boyfriend boke up with her, not while they were going out. The guy says himself that when he noticed that she was no longer interested, he left her alone. So they were definitely broken up. And that's no one's fault. 

He can if he wants to , but knowing that Nigerian men place a premium on virginity, since it is supposedly proof of a woman's fidelity, he probably wouldnt.
Re: She Lost Her Virginity To Another Man After Promising Me . . by emmatok: 1:55am On Dec 22, 2010
slap1:

The columnist's response was not right, IMO. Why the hell would she say the girl brazenly lost her virginity? Did she know the circumstances in which she lost it? Is virginity a barometer for measuring faithfulness in a relationship? The girl returned because she realized her mistake, it's just a pity her virginity didn't make it. cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy And if you love a girl coz of her virginity, it means you've not disvirgined a girl b4 and wants to see what it tastes like! So take the chic back, I say. You'd have a leverage over her if u take her despite evritin.

NA WHERE THE SO CALLED VIRGINITY RUN GO?

That girl is a lier, She left the NICE GUY for the BAD GUY.

Because NICE GUY na MUGU. AND the BAD GUY is sharp enough to collect the VIRGINITY.

Now she is coming back to NICE GUY(MUGU) .

Well i will advise the NICE GUY(MUGU) collect the balance of that VIRGINITY. Then dump her sorry Bottom.

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