don't mean to criticise women or anything but i have found this complain trait among our women especially those exposed to western cultures

a close friend of mine just overheard a girl that he passionately admires, saying he is too black for her.(the girl is light-skinned by the way)
Also,i realise more than a couple of times this complain is common among our fair-skin women.

so i'm curious, is it now a attraction curse to be black? i mean why are these women judging solely on the shade of the skin or is this how light-skin women think?

am fair , and i like choco milo bois , so not all oranges are d same o
some are sour , some are ripe

I am "medium" and I do not have any preference for skin color-the palest white or the blackest black are both fine with me!

I am in the minority, however, most Black people have an inferiority complex and believe that white is better even if they don't realize it or will not admit it. If this were not the case, then there would not be the problem of skin bleaching.

Some backwards people will also make comments if two people are dating and the man and woman are disparate in skin color.

This girl is not mature enough and not self-aware enough to be dating anyone. Tell your friend that he can do better. And, I hope that he is not attracted to her because she is fair,

She should simply buy him a bleaching cream since skin colour is now a determinant for love,some people with their issues.SMH.

Idowuogbo:

am fair , and i like choco milo bois , so not all oranges are d same o
some are sour , some are ripe

You fair? Fair like Michelin tyres?

WTF? Dat gurl must be nut or is it u?(joking), Cn i kal dis racism or wat? Wat has complexion gat to do wit like,love or watsoever.To be frank i cnt comment on dis arrrrrrg, Make she go find yellow pawpaw not-so-smart girl.mtscheeeeew

dayokanu:

You fair? Fair like Michelin tyres?

@topic

She prolly needed an excuse to tell him off jor. . . .some pple normally use the the complexion as an excuse if they are not feeling the flow

why would anybody say "I can't date him cos hez too black" will the blackness rub off on her yellow skin ?

Why not she paint him her exact colour of choice.

my choice, 2 indent d blaknez of a gurl nt 4 me.

Inkie,

You right everyone HAS THEIR OWN Preferences of what they LIKE AND DON'T LIKE. However, that does not give us the right to be IGNANT AND BLATANTLY disruptive to the person whom we don't care for.

She can simply tell him she not interested all that EXTRA stuff is not NECESSARY, when people go GREAT length to be DISRUPTIVE, that is beyond STATING PREFERENCES, something DEEPER than a tub of shit going on,

Mr cock likes bleached girls, but he doesn't go deeper by being disruptive to the girls that aren't bleached. IF he did, I haven't seen it.

leave am time still plenty
when 2020 reach she go dey find gorilla she no go see

Sighs.

I even SAID IT, she CAN HAVE PREFERENCES hell she can like WHALES WITH FLIP FLIPS I don't care.  And I said I don't particularly care for WHITE MEN not light men.  You can have your PREFERENCES but that DOES NOT give US the right to DISRUPT someone because WE don't particularly care for THEM.

SHE MAY NOT have said it directly to him, BUT IT WAS HEARD.  It is like me saying in another room that WHITE MEN are disgusting and they smell like wet dogs, BUT I AM NOT saying it directly to THEM.

What the hell?

I am fair, but I do not really care about the colour of the skin as long as I find you attractive.

Many of our black women like being fair, that is why they bleach, tone or do skin wash.

@poster
and may i ask where is the problem in that? shouldnt people have the right to choose whats best FOR THEM.
shiiiiit, i dont like short fat indian looking women, is that a crime too (discrimination perhaps)?!

let people decide what they bloody want for their lives as long as it doesnt impair yours. the only reason the guy who overheard it was sad about it must be because he himself was dark skinned and liked the gal and finally realized his chances went from fairly good to none!

ps: even a dark skinned chick has the right to not be attracted to dark skinned men. being in a certain way doesnt mean you automatically have to be attracted to it.

@Mrs eve
are you saying that people should be quiet about what they like or dislike?! and may i ask why?!

No, Mr BrownJay,

That is not what I am saying. All I am saying that EXTRA SHIT is not necessary. If you are not interested in that person for whatever reasons tell them but all that extra shit about this and that is not important do you agree?

For example, you in the club and you doing your thing. You approached a chick and she getting all LOUD AND IGNANT saying I don't want you because you look like a dog, your eyes crooked, and you too dark. I mean is that necessary?

Then I guess that the Nigerian way, I DIGRESS.

You know people and their obsession with the light skinned complexion. You can partly blame the representation of light skinned folks where ever you look, they are favored more. 

But it's based on your preference, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Everyone IS entitled to their own preference or qualities in what they are seeking in a partner.  You have every right.  I just think if there is a quality you don't like in a person, you don't have to voice it by being mean, disrespectful and rude about it.  There is a polite/kind way to tell someone you are not interested such as saying: "I'm flatter, but unfortunately, you are not my type or I don't think we would be a good match".  Being rejected is hurtful thing to anyone, but that's a part of life.  You dust it off, and find someone who would be a good match for you.  It's just a sad thing that society got this set image on what's beautiful and what's not.  Black people and other races who haven't accepted themselves are running around bleaching their skin, poisoning their body, getting plastic surgery, starving themselves, discrimating against their own race etc. to create this "image" just to fit in.  That's a dog-on shame.  But I digress.  Bottom line, you like what you like and you don't like what you don't like. But be respectful about it is all I'm saying.  There is always a polite way to get your point across without tearing somebodies spirit down.

livedit:

Everyone IS entitled to their own preference or qualities in what they are seeking in a partner.  You have every right.  I just think if there is a quality you don't like in a person, you don't have to voice it by being mean, disrespectful and rude about it.  There is a polite/kind way to tell someone you are not interested such as saying: "I'm flatter, but unfortunately, you are not my type or I don't think we would be a good match".  Being rejected is hurtful thing to anyone, but that's a part of life.  You dust it off, and find someone who would be a good match for you.  It's just a sad thing that society got this set image on what's beautiful and what's not.  Black people and other races who haven't accepted themselves are running around bleaching their skin, poisoning their body, getting plastic surgery, starving themselves, discrimating against their own race etc. to create this "image" just to fit in.  That's a dog-on shame.  But I digress.  Bottom line, you like what you like and you don't like what you don't like. But be respectful about it is all I'm saying.  There is always a polite way to get your point across without tearing somebodies spirit down.

That was my point, Livedit.

@mrs eve and Livedit
yes of course people should use tact to voice their preferences but SHOULD voice them.
if a person doesnt like dating dark skinned people, he/she has the right to stand by that and say it. its not like dark skin people(or whatever) people believe that everyone is turned on by their looks.

as for rejection, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, its part of the dating life. i DO NOT believe in sugar coating anything and would rather people tell me exactly what turn them off rather than coming up with generic excuses( i guess we are different). i doubt that whatever they tell me is something i didnt know about myself, and if it is then it will help me make it better.

point in hand: many people have no idea their mouth stinks or that they have bad body odor. the ONLY way to help these individuals is to tell them directly about WHY you are not attracted to them rather than giving them the generic excuse BS(you are not my type bla bla bla)

Hiya peeps!!! Compliments of the season all. Just browsing through nairaland again after a while and was kinda attracted to the post cos am as GUILTY as HELL of it. I actually thought the poster was referring to me to me cos I made a comment like that about someone who truly admires me, Sorry. But come to think of it: It is basically individual differences. I can't like what you like simply because am a black woman. By 'Black' I mean: Whites n BlackS. Am light chocolate and not so down with very fair guy but men, i cant fit manage skin DUDU, no be say anything. IT IS JUST ME and for all those that are ready to criticize us, pls note: U R U AND I AM ME, Kabish?
I recall snapping with him one time and my frds could only make out his dentition cause it was kinda dark!!! What do you say about that then? I never imagined having anything to do with him but I sincerely do not know how it happened but he ended up becoming the best thing that has happened to me in long while, LOL!!!

Once again, Mr BrownJay, I did say it must be that Nigerian thing and I digressed.

MRbrownJAY:

@mrs eve and Livedit
yes of course people should use tact to voice their preferences but SHOULD voice them.
if a person doesnt like dating dark skinned people, he/she has the right to stand by that and say it. its not like dark skin people(or whatever) people believe that everyone is turned on by their looks.

as for rejection, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, its part of the dating life. i DO NOT believe in sugar coating anything and would rather people tell me exactly what turn them off rather than coming up with generic excuses( i guess we are different). i doubt that whatever they tell me is something i didnt know about myself, and if it is then it will help me make it better.

point in hand: many people have no idea their mouth stinks or that they have bad body odor. the ONLY way to help these individuals is to tell them directly about WHY you are not attracted to them rather than giving them the generic excuse BS(you are not my type bla bla bla)

Pardon me Mr.BrownJay but what's wrong with telling someone that you are not my type.  Isn't that what you feel and saying anyway when you are "rejecting" them?? I believe in getting right to the point and tell someone so that they are not left wondering what it is.  Now, if after you TELL them that you are not interested and they are persistant, then you can kindly elaborate WHY you are not interested.  You are right to a point. Some people you have to be "blunt" with. Those are the ones who is walking around as you say "smelling" and don't care. But I feel, out of RESPECT and integrity, what's the point of telling x: "you are a fat, ugly smelling, bad breath, bow-legged, cross-eyed loser" and not worth a hill of beans that's why I don't want you?  It takes ALOT of guts and courage to ask someone out. Yes, rejection is apart of life. But just to be cruel.  There ain't no excuse for that no matter how you slice it.

Everyone is entitled to their own preference.  
A close friend  of mine was previously approached by a good looking man (she is caramel in complexion) she later asked me "what I'm I going to do with such a dark man"?? I reminded her that her own boyfriend wasn't light in complexion either and yes there were many things to do with this brother lol she just rolled her eyes and kissed her teeth at me I couldn't stop laughing.
Just like we have selective hearing sometimes we also choose what to see

livedit:

Pardon me Mr.BrownJay but what's wrong with telling someone that you are not my type.  Isn't that what you feel and saying anyway when you are "rejecting" them?? I believe in getting right to the point and tell someone so that they are not left wondering what it is.  Now, if after you TELL them that you are not interested and they are persistant, then you can kindly elaborate WHY you are not interested.  You are right to a point. Some people you have to be "blunt" with. Those are the ones who is walking around as you say "smelling" and don't care. But I feel, out of RESPECT and integrity, what's the point of telling x: "you are a fat, ugly smelling, bad breath, bow-legged, cross-eyed loser" and not worth a hill of beans that's why I don't want you?  It takes ALOT of guts and courage to ask someone out. Yes, rejection is apart of life. But just to be cruel.  There ain't no excuse for that no matter how you slice it.

have to use my alter ego, (Nairaland just banned me. . . . . . . .again for no reason!)

you are not my type is too broad and not really the truth. that person has to know the EXACT reason in order to "maybe" work on what is driving some men away (especially if they are the one she is searching for) . . . . . .

so, as much as we are saying the same thing, if i am not attracted to big/dark or whatever women, i will let that girl know exactly that so there is no misunderstanding WHY i didnt want to be with her.
i would say:"babe i am sorry, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you as a person but i am not comfortable dating a big/dark or whatever girl".
if that girl turns around and is shocked by my comment then thats on her, i doubt she just realized that she was "big/dark or whatever" or that being that way is a big deal (other than each and everyone's  preferences, of course).

as for people who have problem such as smelly features, i wouldnt even wait for them to ask me out as i would be direct in telling them that they have a strange smell oozing from whatever part of their body and then continue by offering some solution. how can we even help them solve their "problem" if most people are too scared to even talk about it?!

MRBrownJ:

have to use my alter ego, (Nairaland just banned me. . . . . . . .again for no reason!)

you are not my type is too broad and not really the truth. that person has to know the EXACT reason in order to "maybe" work on what is driving some men away (especially if they are the one she is searching for) . . . . . .

so, as much as we are saying the same thing, if i am not attracted to big/dark or whatever women, i will let that girl know exactly that so there is no misunderstanding WHY i didnt want to be with her.
i would say:"babe i am sorry, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you as a person but i am not comfortable dating a big/dark or whatever girl". <<I can respect that, straight and to the point. [/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/color]

if that girl turns around and is shocked by my comment then thats on her, i doubt she just realized that she was "big/dark or whatever" or that being that way is a big deal (other than each and everyone's preferences, of course). (then that's when it STILL boils back down to my point, you are not my type period)[color=#770077]

as for people who have problem such as smelly features, i wouldnt even wait for them to ask me out as i would be direct in telling them that they have a strange smell oozing from whatever part of their body and then continue by offering some solution. how can we even help them solve their "problem" if most people are too scared to even talk about it?!

(agreed, I would let them know to. Like I said, it's not always what you say, but how you say it. Some people you have to be blunt, but even still say it with tact instead of coming off looking like the a-hole is all I'm saying)

I hope all the people harping about personal preference would have the same thought when a thread comes up about something else

I remember a topic like that previously and people chose to disregard another guys personal preference