SmileDance:
well, its my opinion tho but there are still ways to manage the situation without the op appearing to be weak, the op can change the younger kids school and explain to his wife that he's doing it for peace to reign, trust me its not easy as a woman not to feel jealous in cases like this. Personally I won't marry a single father because I don't like trouble in my life.

fuzzywuzzy:
The most irritating thing about Male hypocrisy is that should the tables be turned their brains would start functioning and they will tell the truth.

If a woman was openly treating her out of wedlock child better than her husbands child and telling her husband she would treat him better when he is older the fools supporting OP with stupid epistles would sing a different tune altogether.

Men are so selfish and self centered its irritating honestly.

hasyak:
I totally understand your position, 2 years old, what are they really teaching them in school, most can hardly Express themselves, ideally, they should be at home playing, instead of wasting money just to belong,

They will never understand, if money isn't a big issue, for the sake of your daughter's sanity and safety, and peace to reign in your house change his school.

But if money is an issue and can you can protect your daughter from their weakness, then stamp your feet

RisenPhoenix:


Not that I would have dignified your unreasoning rant with a proper response, but you impugned my integrity. For the records, if my sister came to me with this kind of objection about her husband and his child from another wife, I will rapidly blast that stu.pid shit out of her head, and if I see any signs of her victimizing that small girl, which you seem to believe is reasonable; I will personally introduce him to the lawyer that will help him divorce her; and I'll be his witness.

And there is nothing wrong with putting a 2 year old child in a government school. It is the same ABC they will teach him. All nursery schools have practically the same 'curriculum'. The op even tried for putting him in a good school.

And yes, if a woman knows that she is too wicked to care for another woman's child objectively, she should stay off any single dad and his money that she made up her mind to eat when she married him.

RisenPhoenix:


It takes 5 minutes if everybody is ready to agree with the decision taken. It takes weeks, months or forever if they must reach a consensus before acting. If everyone is already in agreement with thr other's decisions, then there is no need for consultation, especially in issues that concern only one party. In this case, do you think the op's wife would have agreed if he had taken her opinion first? So this whole issue of consulting is academic. He is the man. He has the right to run the household as he sees fit. If she does not trust his capability to do so, then she had no right to agree to marry him.

As for informing after taking the decision, I am absolutely ok with that, and I presume that the op informed his wife. It was still better than letting her find out by herself, because knowing women, she will probably have started wondering what else he is 'hiding' from her and letting her imagination run haywire. But objectively speaking, just look at the outcome in this case. Telling her; whether before or after taking the decision; would have made no difference here. She would still have felt jealous and taken it out on the girl.

Belafonte:


You’re not even the wife and you’re ready to burst an artery. How is the OP treated his first daughter better than the 2 year old?

If this topic furthers your opinion on the selfishness of men, God help whoever marries you.

RisenPhoenix:


@bolded. Explain this to the op's wife. She's the one who is trying to force and blackmail the op to put their son in the same school with his daughter and needlessly spend the extra money, or else...

Being on the same page does not necessarily translate into undergoing a lengthy bureaucratic procedure before decision making; especially when women think with their emotions. I am a better decision maker than my wife; hell, I make a living out of decision making If I require her input in a decision that directly affects her I would always ask. However, this is hinged on the fact that she gives sensible reasons for her responses and advice; other than petty jealousy and other unproductive emotion. Once I suspect that the above two are her main decision making criteria, I will stop seeking her input.

ImaIma1:


But she has a point.

If a woman had come here with a story about how she upgraded her daughter that she had before in one way or the other, leaving the kids from her present husband out, would the guy take it? Even if it is for supposed good intentions.

And won't the guys on this forum be blaming and back lashing her for not letting her husband know?

It's common in this forum.

Mrperfecto:
I have 3 wonderful children 9,2, 5 months. My first daughter is from my previous relationship. I recently changed her school to an expensive one 50k more than her old school. My son still attending the old school which is a good school with expensive fees too. My wife is not happy and accused me of loving my daughter more than her kids. I love my children equally and told her I don’t see the point of changing his school Now , he is only 2 in primary one and has promised to change him to the new school when he is in primary one. She has been acting funny and treats my daughter like her worst enemy , which I reported the matter to her mother. She supported my wife and said I should change his school for peace to reign, I was shocked I taught she would talk to my wife and makes her understanding instead she sided her. Anyways I still stick to my decision of not changing his school and my wife is still mad. Is it worth it to move him school ? I hope I’m not wrong with my decision ?

EliteDude:
Wow...didn't you see any sign that your wife might not be comfortable with your daughter before marriage?

frozen70:


That alone won't even stop him from marrying her if she is not comfortable with his daughter

If she Can't cope she can as well leave and her mother will come in

EliteDude:



Why do petty and non essential issues hamper marriages?

frozen70:


That's why us called marriage, where women feels that they should be given fair hearing and consideration

EliteDude:


I dont understand, can you rephrase that?

frozen70:


Don't worry, whw you get married you will experience better and get the logic well

Ginaz:
Oga if you think people here would side with you and call your wife names you are wrong . Clearly what you did asassa unfair somehow sha, you should have discussed it with your wife first before taking the step you did.

Nobody is saying you shouldn’t take good care of your daughter but then it’s not easy for your wife too. Try to calm her down oga... you didn’t try at all.

Mrperfecto:

Well in that case I know what to do. My daughter comes first she will stay and I will send my wife back to her parents

freecocoahubby:


This right here is a MAJOR sign that your wife has mental issues and will potentially abuse your daughter in your absence!

I mean what right thinking human would treat a little kid as their "worst enemy" for a decision her father made? Smh.

cococandy:


Sigh

Troll. Should have known. Probably isn’t even married.

Belafonte:


This is not true. Men have been lambasted when they have clearly erred or been unreasonable. The man with the wife found with mycoten cream readily comes to mind.

There is no reason a 2 year old should even be in school talk less of increasing his tuition fees by a whopping 50k because of mere jealousy. If he really needs that change of institution, the wife should have made that request before his step sister’s school was changed. Moreover, the OP has assured her her son’s school will be changed when he graduates. What more does she want? So, when he starts buying her sanitary pad, he must buy for her son? Is that not madness?

He doesn’t need it and she’s doing this for purely selfish reasons. This is how parents cause strife between siblings.

Amya:


Like I seriously can't believe what some women are writing on here. How in the world can a woman feel jealous that a 9 year old (almost in secondary school) and her two year old kindergartener isn't in the same school. And I see many women siding with her.

Isn't he just 2 years old? or am I mistaken? And the guy even promised to change his school when he gets to primary 1 and this woman is still acting out. Wow. Did she feel the need to change his school before then or she's putting her 2 year old in competition with a 9 year old? And people keep justifying the nonsense? That woman isn't a nice woman if something like this is distressing her.

If both kids were in the same age range, I'd have accused the man of favouritism, but they aren't even close in age. See what's disturbing this woman. We we women we have wahala sha...

Ibeze:
Don't change your position or your wife and her mother will believe you can always be made to change your mind, when she acts funny.

Mrperfecto:
She lives with me

Mrperfecto:

To be frank with you I had no issue with her old school she started there since nursery2 until she left in primary 5. My elder sister enrolled her kids at the new school last year and I just like everything about this new school and because I could afford it that was why I have changed her. The amount that I’m paying for her in primary 5 it’s very fair to me but for a 2 years old I think it’s waste of money. It’s not like my 2 years old will be at the old school forever , like I said earlier I promised my wife that he will join his sister when he is in primary one but my wife still not satisfied with my decision.

dominique:
You have started sowing seeds of resentment in your wife towards your daughter by placing the girl in a more superior school to your other kid. If the girl was her biological daughter, she would have understood but she's not and there's no way she won't think you're giving your daughter unfair preferential treatment. Sadly it's the little girl that will suffer for this not you