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My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 - Family - Nairaland

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My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Nobody: 3:42pm On Dec 27, 2010
What do I do ladies and gentlemen? I am 32 and my original intention was to build my family at the age of 28, but my mom keeps rejecting every girl I introduce to her as my fiancee, backing it up with spiritual reasons. Left with my dad, he has no problem at all. Please I need pieces of advice on what to do.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by kieryn(f): 3:49pm On Dec 27, 2010
Does your mom still pick your clothes? Abeg it not your mom that marrying the girl, you are. If you find women that worth marrying then marry her. Your mom will be the first one to talking ab wedding arrangement and the need to buy fine lace for the wedding.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by ULSHERLAN(m): 4:15pm On Dec 27, 2010
Sit her down and ask her if she wants to marry u and if she says no tell her to let u decide for ursef if she doent wanna marry u
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Nobody: 4:50pm On Dec 27, 2010
@poster
IMHO at this rate, your best option is to ask your mum to pick a girls for you and YOU decide if they are good or not (since her opinion matters so much)
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by denitro(m): 5:18pm On Dec 27, 2010
Wow, Sorry to say this, but your post suggest that your mum
doesn't trust your sense of judgement.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Nobody: 5:43pm On Dec 27, 2010
Are you kidding me? shocked How many times have you fallen in love? I can't begin to imagine lol I don't want to be in your shoes right now.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by chika98: 5:52pm On Dec 27, 2010
Mommy's boys are just not it. I'd run like hell if I were the girls you've been introducing to her. She will also tell you how to run your home when you finally get married huh? Brilliant!
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Nobody: 5:57pm On Dec 27, 2010
Thank you all for your concern and response. Couple of weeks ago, she has been desperately asking for the name of the girl I am dating now so that she can start praying over the relationship but i refused to tell her. She has called me on phone several times regarding that but I didn't disclose the girl's name and neither of her identities. I am presently in UK and my girl is in Nigeria. She is keen to visit my family for Xmas even in my absence but  I said no because I am afraid of what my mom would say again.

Please I need to make a strong and difficult decision here. I am the first child and first son of our family and my immediate 2 younger sisters are married with 3 kids each. How do I handle this case wisely? At this stage I need experienced contributions and advice.

Thank you all
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Outstrip(f): 9:04am On Dec 28, 2010
You are not ready for marriage. That's the best advice I can give you
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Nobody: 4:28pm On Dec 28, 2010
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Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by mutter(f): 12:39am On Dec 29, 2010
Outstrip is perfectly right.
You are not ready for marriage.
Even if you have a mom, you are a man and your mom should give you that respect as a man.
Unless off cause you have been bringing home absolute "disasters" .
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by NAJALYN: 1:09pm On Dec 29, 2010
You are the first child, & your mum still treats you like a baby? You are to blame, & honestly you are not ready for marriage. If you get married, your mum will take over the running of your home. No good can come from such a marriage. Please sort out this issue between you & your mum before embarking on marriage. Its important.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by naijafrend: 11:16pm On Dec 29, 2010
@ Poster
Why dont you tell your mom that you are gay ?? grin
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by whiteroses(f): 11:21pm On Dec 29, 2010
you dont deserve the love of any woman if your mom still decides for you at 32, did you finish your pap this morning as your mum commanded grin
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by adamse(f): 11:30pm On Dec 29, 2010
whiteroses:

you dont deserve the love of any woman if your mom still decides for you at 32, [b]did you finish your pap this morning as your mum commanded grin
[/b]
lmao @comment
but seriously, at 32!! you are still afraid of wat ur mum will say.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by papaejima2: 7:08am On Dec 30, 2010
Outstrip:

You are not ready for marriage. That's the best advice I can give you

Nothing more to add.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by playmate(f): 10:22am On Dec 31, 2010
whiteroses:

you dont deserve the love of any woman if your mom still decides for you at 32, did you finish your pap this morning as your mum commanded grin

GBAM!! Need i say more? grin grin
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Excellent7(m): 12:37am On Jan 12, 2011
How many ladies has she picked fault with?
When next she wants to know about you next babe, be non challant and tell her it is no longer your priority. You may even tell her you dont want to think about it till you are 50. Just maintain straight face, in a little time , she will be the one calling you to show her somebody.
Another option, you can let her introduce a couple of her "spiritually compatible woman", then keep rejecting every choice and at last feign lack of interest, the woman will get more prayer topic, finally tire and hopefully let you be.
In essence just (be patient and) mirror back her actions to her on this issue, and let her realize that without prejudice you are your own man.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by queensmith: 9:00am On Jan 12, 2011
Its because you keep introducing too many girls as your fiance! she probably knows theres something wrong with you!
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by paule: 11:21am On Jan 12, 2011
queensmith:

Its because you keep introducing too many girls as your fiance! she probably knows theres something wrong with you!
GBAM!! stick with one, be focused & determined very soon the rest will be history
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Mimicole(f): 1:46pm On Jan 12, 2011
Aren't u all overlookin somtin here? There's an African proverb dt says wot an eldr sees sitting dwn we youngsters mit fail 2 see it even if we climb atop d talllest mountain. Nw most of u may ask why den is his Dad indifferent? This is because women are generally more perceptive spiritually n generally. @Poster there's a huge possibility dt all d women u've introduced 2 ur family are not just d one. Somtin similiar happened in my family a while ago dt opened my eyes, my brother-in-law probably motivated by d fact dt my husband his younger bro had beaten him 2 d marriage thingy kept presenting various chicks 2 his parents, but his Mom being a highly spiritual jim jim lol, kept rejecting dem, meanwhile his Dad was always indifferent, fed up wit d constant rejectn he decided 2 take matters into his hands(d way most of u hav advised d postr 2),printed cards etc, Anyways it turned out 2 b a huge disastr as on d day my parents in law went 2 d girl's parents hse 2 inform dem dt d day of d engagemnt as fixed by dia son will b moved till further notice as d family feels der is need 2 sit dwn and discuss wit dia son since all his deceisions on d mata hav bn witout their knowledge. Well dis is a gd explanation 2 an ordinary listener abi? guess wot? D girl's brothers n parents went livid n held d entire family hostage including dia proposed 'son-in-law' n started demandin millions of naira as ransome, stating that dt is their compensation for dumping dia daughter, Infact it was a real super story dt unfolded before dey were released. Finally d episode left d young man thanking his folks. Needless 2 say d marriage neva took place, bt imagine if it had.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Outstrip(f): 4:37pm On Jan 12, 2011
Mimicole:

Aren't u all overlookin somtin here? There's an African proverb dt says wot an eldr sees sitting dwn we youngsters mit fail 2 see it even if we climb atop d talllest mountain. Nw most of u may ask why den is his Dad indifferent? This is because women are generally more perceptive spiritually n generally. @Poster there's a huge possibility dt all d women u've introduced 2 your family are not just d one. Somtin similiar happened in my family a while ago dt opened my eyes, my brother-in-law probably motivated by d fact dt my husband his younger bro had beaten him 2 d marriage thingy kept presenting various chicks 2 his parents, but his Mom being a highly spiritual jim jim lol, kept rejecting dem, meanwhile his Dad was always indifferent, fed up wit d constant rejectn he decided 2 take matters into his hands(d way most of u hav advised d postr 2),printed cards etc, Anyways it turned out 2 b a huge disastr as on d day my parents in law went 2 d girl's parents hse 2 inform dem dt d day of d engagemnt as fixed by dia son will b moved till further notice as d family feels der is need 2 sit dwn and discuss wit dia son since all his deceisions on d mata hav bn witout their knowledge. Well dis is a gd explanation 2 an ordinary listener abi? guess wot? D girl's brothers n parents went livid n held d entire family hostage including dia proposed 'son-in-law' n started demandin millions of naira as ransome, stating that dt is their compensation for dumping dia daughter, Infact it was a real super story dt unfolded before dey were released. Finally d episode left d young man thanking his folks. Needless 2 say d marriage neva took place, bt imagine if it had.

Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Mimicole(f): 7:52pm On Jan 12, 2011
@ outstrip pls pray tell,what's d confusion abt?
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by Genius100: 2:39am On Jan 13, 2011
yadipson:

What do I do ladies and gentlemen? I am 32 and my original intention was to build my family at the age of 28, but my mom keeps rejecting every girl I introduce to her as my fiancee, backing it up with spiritual reasons. Left with my dad, he has no problem at all. Please I need pieces of advice on what to do.

Chief, next time your mama talk say God say make you no marry a particular girl, tell her to go back and pray and she should record God's voice telling her no, so you can verify that her story is true.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by oludashmi(f): 12:49pm On Jan 13, 2011
@poster
You are not ready to get married!
When you are set to, you will get married.
I also pity the innocent lady cos you have already proved that your mother will decide everything in your marital affair.


Genius100:

Chief, next time your mama talk say God say make you no marry a particular girl, tell her to go back and pray and she should record God's voice telling her no, so you can verify that her story is true.
ROFLMAO cheesy cheesy
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by icare1: 2:37pm On Jan 24, 2011
sit your mother down ask her the kind of wife she wants for u, then tell her the woman u want for your self.

if her reason for rejectio  is spiritual and very true then u have a good mother, but how spiritual are u too, so the only way u can get round it is to do you spiritual home work before u take any woman home.

but if are choice of awomen is to ensure she can contol ur wife for fear of lossing u to her, then u have a big job at hand the only woman u can marry must love ur mother and be willing to condone her or be ready to either hate ur wife after marriage or hate ur mother cos u will be force to take side except your mother is confronted with the fact that she must love the woman u want, and i bet its gonna be a long battle, cos your mother might think u want to replace her.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by afrobaby(f): 3:45pm On Jan 24, 2011
I feared being rejected by a future mother-in-law before I got into a relationship. When my fiance decided to take me to his mum, I was scared at first. I asked him what will happen if his mum doesn't like me, his response made me know he is a man and not a boy. He told me emphatically that it is his duty to decide whom he wanna marry, the duty of his mum is to advise him, not dictate, and dat was it. I met the mum and at frst, she was cold but later on , she welcomed me with her two arms. Now, I am like an egg to her because she could see it that her son loves me so much and I mean so much to him, hence, if she truly wants her son to be happy, she must treat me well cos I am her son's happiness.
So,poster, wat did u tell ur mum about this girls , ow did umake her feel abt the girls, is it like, mum, I met someone whom I think I can marry or mum, av found someone I wanna spend the rest of my life with. Let her know uve decided and concluded in ur heart that ur fiancee is the one that holds the key to ur heart.
possibly, u make her feel, if u don't like dis one, I can get another one, let her know dia is no other one except this one
Wish u luck

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Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by deniyor: 10:07pm On Jan 24, 2011
You are a very lucky man, your mum has been right all along.  Considering the way you could easily discard a romantic option your mum is not okay with shows you really didn't care about any of the ladies in the first place. Good for you, your mum was the first avenue to test your love for the ladies you have brought so far. Guess what? You failed miserably.

Now go find someone you really really care about and would die for ( spiritual or not). Then see what happens.

1 Like

Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by asha80(m): 3:42am On Jan 25, 2011
very funny.the same people will condem the guy if the guy decides to go against his mother's wishes.
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by deniyor: 4:02am On Jan 25, 2011
Why would we? At least no one would accuse him of not having balls
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by kcjazz(m): 5:17am On Jan 25, 2011
@OP

How many girls has she rejected?

And for you, what do you need in a marriage? What are you looking for?
If your current fiance meets your criteria for marriage, then make the decision. Talk to your dad to sort things out with your mum. Don't marry a person against your will even if your mum approves
Re: My Mom Says "no" To Every Girl I Introduce To Her As Fiancee At 32 by deniyor: 5:23am On Jan 25, 2011
Why would we? At least no one would accuse him of not having balls

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