VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

All relationships he should spend his money and you spend yours.....write down all you have borrowed him and remind him always

crackkhaus:

Deny it? Lmao.. Far from it.

Getting you to expose your psyche which is in fact the psyche of a lot of you, was simply to let the readers know that women like you who still complain of being taken for granted and subjugated by men, should NEVER be taken seriously because you deserve it.

You can't decide to remain perpetually on the receiving end of a man's finances because he is a man and you're a woman, and still expect to be respected as a human being or treated as more than property.

Na una dey do una self...

I can't keep quoting you man . I hardly comment here but you got me 3 straight already with your unforeseen jabs

She gave the lady a good advice thou but just, it shows how much it ain't "do unto me what I do unto you" for her. Tit for tat is a crime in Nigerian women's world.

my dear,the way of God can never be the way of man. that is why i do tell people that God has no common sense. Because God most times doesnt think or reason the way man does. the advices given above may look logical and reasonable,but does God look at it that way?. Yes, you have assisted and borrowed him money severally before, and the possibility of even getting it back is shallow. good of you. dont forget, you are touching lives of people(your in-law to be) because bible says, he that watereth, shall be watered back in due season. It is God that giveth strength to get wealth. for by by strength shall no man prevail. it is God that maketh rich and adds no sorrow. The little assistance you are doing now could blossom to a greater dividend for you, your children and husband tomorrow. because God is the rewarder of those who diligently seek him (by giving). this is spiritual and mysterious, a carnal man can never understand this scenario because to him, it makes you look stupid and foolish. Now, let us interpolate the scenario. supposing you are in his shoes and he is in your shoes. He dishes out monetary assistance to your poor family and siblings, what will you be doing? wont you see him as God sent angel? wont you be praying for more of God's blessing and protection on him? i am sure, your family can never forget the labour of his love. Even God will have no option but to continue to answer all the prayers offered on him. dont forget, Love covers multitude of sins. let your love towards him cover all his shortcomings. mark my words, if u took this advice, tomorrow,you will be a hero, he will announce u to world as a proud virtuous woman because you are model, and you will be glad u did. plsss, dont be weary in well doing, because after a certain time, u shall receive the reward thereof. my dear, be foolish now, for greater reward and blessings tomorrow. my 2 pence, plsss

bukatyne2:


Hmmmmm, you have a great point there.

Thanks mi Lady

hennylove:
you don't have to ask but a responsible man will never depend on a woman's money. The man's responsibility is to cater for the woman. And anything the woman does is extra for him

oiiiiin. Wake up. This is 21st century and stop living in the past. Now, real girls share the bills with men when they are taken out on a date

sassysure:

Don't take these people serious
Haba

The gal may be 14yrs old with phone forming big babe.

That's the only way I don't burst when I read some posts here.
If u see the pictures and age of these people, u rather respect yourself. Some are yet to write weac .

And just when I thought @crackkhaus finished work, med o

Ishilove:
Chai! May God deliver us from shameless men who see nothing wrong in borrowing from a woman without repaying.

See, if I were you, talk to your legs otherwise you will just get old before your time if you make the mistake of marrying him.

But it's normal for a woman to borrow and not pay back and they are not shameless.

Op I know u are lying but continue

Harllaby:

Imagine. But ladies can ask for money from guys 24 hrs into relationship abi?

Lol, this thing has happened to me b4, I ask a girl out she agreed and barely 24 hours she's asking me to borrow her 5k, I just lied to her and ended the relationship immediately.

hennylove:
you don't have to ask but a responsible man will never depend on a woman's money. The man's responsibility is to cater for the woman. And anything the woman does is extra for him

Women are just confuse abeg, una nor know watin una want.

So if I say a woman's duty is in the kitchen and the other room, u will be cool with that?

SweetCunt97:
I was once in this boat once upon a time, I chose to dive into the sea abandon ship... I hate stress in my life abeg. This one siblings reach 9 sef but he had a good job as a banker then sha... Salary no dey reach half of month e don finish.

Abeg parents should stop popping out many kids and stressing firstborns o.

You? You used to beg online. Wow, storylines truly change

Run, I say run for your dear life, such men are ingrate and he will bring you down and won't let you achieve any good thing in life..the earlier you run the better

What are his potentials?

Does his action shows he's comfortable with his current situation?

Does he has plans ( business or career)??

What do you want??

As a man, I will advise you to take a walk

At 24 you have lent him money.. 500k

As long as he continue to support his shameless elders ones forget your relationship exist

What are his plans for you

Sit him down to plan a chart

If by the end of the first quarter, there seem to be no improvement


Sister take a walk

IYANGBALI:
oiiiiin. Wake up. This is 21st century and stop living in the past. Now, real girls share the bills with men when they are taken out on a date

there is nothing like the 21st century. There's a role assigned to each gender and each gender should do his responsibility accordingly and as I said anything you do aside your role should be extra and not entitlement. So are you okay with the fact that this OP is automatically the bread winner even before marriage. Mind you am married over 10yrs and working as well and contribute financially for the well being of my family. But I cannot advise my younger sister to marry such a man. Thanks

Sister I'd advise you to weigh your options, if marrying him will better your life do so , if not run. Marriage is for life oo. Before then talk to him seriously, then from his response, follow your heart as God leads you.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

Nairalandmonika:

Women are just confuse abeg, una nor know watin una want.

So if I say a woman's duty is in the kitchen and the other room, u will be cool with that?

are you saying that she should go ahead and marry him? Will you sincerely advise your sibling to marry such a man?

please can i get your number...we need people like you in our society

DonMustafa:


Poverty stricken comment. You must benefit something in return. Hungry and poor always check what they are benefiting.

Op, walk away on time from this relationship. You will grow old. The guy does not love you. You are loving him out of pity. Walk away. Save your sanity

If in your simple mind, benefit only means financial, then I'm sorry, there's really nothing I can do to help you.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

Young lady there is nothing wrong with marrying someone who is the 'bread winner' of a family, whatever that means in this context but it would be a mistake to marry someone who is immature. I won't advise that you stay with him or leave him but I strongly suggest you read the signs and make your decision knowing fully well that YOU CHOSE YOUR PATH. Before you is hot or cold...make your choice.

Simple advice sister. What you are tolerating today, can you tolerate it for the rest of your life in marriage? if yes then go on. if no then break up..very simple. what you ignore today will haunt you tomorrow

What is in this guy that at 24 you're borrowing him N500K knowing he won't pay back? are you jazzed? you better wake up, collect your money back and move on

I understand your plight. You can help him by refusing to lend him money. This will make him wake up. Unless he says no to them and stands his ground, it will not stop even if he becomes 80 years old. They will keep coming.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

God bless you for speaking from this perspective.

princepalace:
my dear,the way of God can never be the way of man. that is why i do tell people that God has no common sense. Because God most times doesnt think or reason the way man does. the advices given above may look logical and reasonable,but d
oes God look at it that way?. Yes, you have assisted and borrowed him money severally before, and the possibility of even getting it back is shallow. good of you. dont forget, you are touching lives of people(your in-law to be) because bible says, he that watereth, shall be watered back in due season. It is God that giveth strength to get wealth. for by by strength shall no man prevail. it is God that maketh rich and adds no sorrow. The little assistance you are doing now could blossom to a greater dividend for you, your children and husband tomorrow. because God is the rewarder of those who diligently seek him (by giving). this is spiritual and mysterious, a carnal man can never understand this scenario because to him, it makes you look stupid and foolish. Now, let us interpolate the scenario. supposing you are in his shoes and he is in your shoes. He dishes out monetary assistance to your poor family and siblings, what will you be doing? wont you see him as God sent angel? wont you be praying for more of God's blessing and protection on him? i am sure, your family can never forget the labour of his love. Even God will have no option but to continue to answer all the prayers offered on him. dont forget, Love covers multitude of sins. let your love towards him cover all his shortcomings. mark my words, if u took this advice, tomorrow,you will be a hero, he will announce u to world as a proud virtuous woman because you are model, and you will be glad u did. plsss, dont be weary in well doing, because after a certain time, u shall receive the reward thereof. my dear, be foolish now, for greater reward and blessings tomorrow. my 2 pence, plsss

jaksmillioniar:
I Neva know who u are so get lost

I forgot, you have the brain of a 2 week old baby. You are excused

If stress start showing on your face you'll look 33...
In all sincerity it's a shame for a man that age to ask you for money like you're his father... That's the height of IRRESPONSIBILITY which may likely CONTINUE IF you tie the knot.

Sweedy walk away now that you can... He's not yours