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My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by SKINDOGGY: 10:35pm On Jun 08, 2020
Bro be careful with them I don't usually comment on Nairaland but u see this tread I can't keep quite. See eeh is either you go diabolic or you embrace God with prayer wholeheartedly. They may even be the one that kills your father and you will be the next target, speaking from deadly wicked uncle experience , be careful bro!

1 Like

Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by stagger: 10:35pm On Jun 08, 2020
Carchoice:
The mistake you’ll ever make in life is fighting uncles/aunties over your late fathers property. It’s not a lost battle but it’s a waste of time and resources to me.


Leave them to do their thing. It doesn’t mean you are a weakling or scared but don’t fight over property’s with them. Just don’t do it.

Surprise them on the date of the burial by showing up to pay your last respect or better still you can shun it. Your father is dead already.

Don’t fight over property o!!! If they want to take it by force. Leave it for them and work for your own. You can always do more with the life ahead of you.

They have known him to be quiet which is why all this is happening. I had already built a reputation so nobody tries any rubbish with my father's property. They can't even think it!

Meanwhile, hug God well well o. You need spiritual backup. The day I knew these things are real was a day I had to embrace one of my uncles who was known to be highly diabolic. He actually initiated the embrace, but I was wearing my Winner's mantle under my shirt sleeve, so I hugged him tightly. He released me, went into a handshake and said to me..."boy, you are a strong man!" I don't know what he felt in that embrace, and I never had the chance to find out from him. He is dead now anyway...
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by BlueAir: 10:36pm On Jun 08, 2020
grin decisive and wise.sny recommend less for op
donbachi:
Go and transfer ur late father's corpse to another mortuary or u go back to that very mortuary u deposited his body,and warn them not to release his corpse to anybody,unless u come in person.as for the shop,buy another key and lock it.while u plan for his burial..do not give room to anger and exchange of words.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Adeyeyeaki(m): 10:36pm On Jun 08, 2020
[quote author=Carchoice post=90329982]
God bless you. You said all that is in my mind. I learnt one thing during this pandemic and that is the only property you wanted to give to your children, education and the likes give them while you are still alive. I also lost my dad to cold hands of death 40days ago. I was not able to make it home for the burial, am also the first son but I think the best respect I can give him was given him while I he was alive.
Please dear, it is your live that matters now. Let the dead bury their dead....
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by mechanics(m): 10:36pm On Jun 08, 2020
Just take it easy with them o, they should have carried you along, but be that as it may, there is no issue with that.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by humilitypays(m): 10:36pm On Jun 08, 2020
ikemesit4477:
sorry to ask! How old are you! You are sounding weak! These is your right, you need to speak up to avoid had I know!
People that are not weak like MKO Abiola are showing their braveness 6ft below while some cunning politicians dedicate a day as public holiday to celebrate his foolishness for their political gains and calculations, please allow the op to be weak, you can continue with your braveness like MKO Abiola undecided

5 Likes

Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by golddare: 10:37pm On Jun 08, 2020
Aizen123:
Please I need advice. I lost my Dad over 2 months now and he hasn't been buried due to the pandemic. My Uncle's are all in Lagos and can't come back.

So after the lockdown was over we decided to go to the village.. On getting I discovered that his shop was open and all the money going into the first Uncle (first son) account.. So I called my uncle because he told me it was locked and he was saying did he need my permission before to open the shop and i decided to just control myself because i like peace and i decided to go to the house in the village...

On getting there I called my uncle and he told me the keys are with them in Lagos ... That it was waybilled and i said ok and went back with my brother and sister.

Fast forward today... I got a call from someone in the village that my Dad's burial death has been fixed and i was wowed because as the first son i haven't been told yet by my uncle's. So right now i am about acting but i need advice.

Just be careful and dont fight with them for anything even if they cheat you, focus on God and hustle legitimately, a time shall come that they will say had we know this guy will make it we wouldn't have done all these things. Remember Joseph.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by jcross19: 10:37pm On Jun 08, 2020
Aizen123:
Please I need advice. I lost my Dad over 2 months now and he hasn't been buried due to the pandemic. My Uncle's are all in Lagos and can't come back.

So after the lockdown was over we decided to go to the village.. On getting I discovered that his shop was open and all the money going into the first Uncle (first son) account.. So I called my uncle because he told me it was locked and he was saying did he need my permission before to open the shop and i decided to just control myself because i like peace and i decided to go to the house in the village...

On getting there I called my uncle and he told me the keys are with them in Lagos ... That it was waybilled and i said ok and went back with my brother and sister.

Fast forward today... I got a call from someone in the village that my Dad's burial death has been fixed and i was wowed because as the first son i haven't been told yet by my uncle's. So right now i am about acting but i need advice.
what they did is bad! but they have seen you as a little boy who will not contribute penny in the funeral , all the expenses they are going to make and they make used of the opportunity to liquidate if they are not faithful with their dealings in your father's properties!!!. in all they see you as little boy that can't the matter. but their mistake is that they could have notified you the date.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by ebig21(m): 10:37pm On Jun 08, 2020
Oga get a lawyer to get an injunction restraining your uncle's from burying your father if you don't like the date, know that in Igbo land customarily anybody that buries someone has a say in his property, get a restraining order for them not to trespass into your father's property, that if after dialogue has failed, that's after you have gone to report to your Umunna,

Take a drink to your Umunna. it's called idu Nye mmanya ummuna, and report your uncle's, that you don't like the way they are handling your father's burial.
Shalom

3 Likes

Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Ohizman73(m): 10:37pm On Jun 08, 2020
Aizen123:
I've asked them and he said he didn't need my permission to open the shop and asked what can i contribute for the burial...hence i am a final year student and above 24yrs. My mum is not around.. normally i would have acted but i just want to follow them with wisdom


Before i contribute i want to ask you what exactly and specify precisely what you want to be adviced on.this is another controversial matter as one or two matters that came up on this forum. which did bothered on internal family issues which hover around tradition and modern day practicies.As the one which somebody claimed his late uncles wife wanted him a nephew to cohabit with him for the sole purpose of child bearing. I did contribute extensively and i was given acknowledgement on the advice i gave.it also brought about so much controversy ,insults and whatso ever. Then secondly some of the OP seem to be taking the interests of the contributors for granted.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by tatax(m): 10:38pm On Jun 08, 2020
Dear OP... people who are advising you to let go of your father's properties are not serious.. Don't disappoint your dad by letting those evil brothers of his reap where they did not sow. You seem to me as a weakling. At 24, you are a man and must know how to use diplomacy to fight, the onus is on you to protect your siblings so you should man up and take responsibility. Battles like this are won not by your fist but by your brains.The biggest test of your maturity is now and what you do now determines how you and your siblings will be treated going forward by your uncles.

The potent way to win cases like this is to escalate it. Make it known to the whole community what they are doing. I believe you are educated, now compose a good letter and make even exaggerations in the letter, copy a good lawyer who is already on standby and ready to follow it up if need be and peaceful negotiations fail, copy your community head or king, copy your local security in your community, copy your uncle's pastor if they have one or whoever they respect, copy your kindred, copy your dad's friends they know of, copy the youth leaders in your community, copy your own pastor and the social group you belong to, copy the Nigerian police in your state and in your local community.

Very important! Make sure your uncles know you copied this letter to those people I mentioned and also make sure the people you copied acknowledged it.

Then sit down and wait. They will call you to negotiate.. Make sure negotiations is on your terms and they speak to you through an elder not directly - you will need few community elders to your side. What you have done is to turn on the heat on them and will an advantage to your side during the negotiations.. You have also by escalating it through the letter succeeded in insuring your life so that whatever happens to you, it's on them and people will hold them responsible. It will restrict them in a way incase they planned evil on your life. Now, if they fail to adjust, your lawyer will take it up - a good lawyer knows what to do in this case. Except there are things you didnt tell us, I'm talking based on the facts you gave and I believe this will help.

Don't forget to at this point be very sensitive, careful and prayerful. Don't fight!! I repeat don't fight and please be respectful to them. Don't show them you are angry or show your emotions, it makes you unpredictable. Know when to eat and who gave you what you ate.

Your dad is late now. I'm so sorry about that but it's time you be a man and protect your family.

6 Likes

Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Exmilitant(m): 10:38pm On Jun 08, 2020
Most first sons are not smart and coordinated. They found a weakling in you thats why they arrange your father's burial without your consent. A niggar who lost his dad should be up and about especially if the said dad has some coins stashed somewhere. You slept on bike using lockdown as an excuse. Instead of being grateful that stress was relieved off you, (financial stress inclusive) you are coming out here to complain. You no go wake up?

2 Likes

Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by oluplus(m): 10:40pm On Jun 08, 2020
ursullalinda:
Your mum has to get involved .........
at least you need an insider who is also an elder ...........to direct you on who and who to meet.......It's not a small battle oh.......but God will see you through.......May God save us from greedy family members.
The same battle can be avoided by playing mumu role.
Op, be careful o. Those uncles are just wicked
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by intruder15(m): 10:40pm On Jun 08, 2020
Aizen123:
Please I need advice. I lost my Dad over 2 months now and he hasn't been buried due to the pandemic. My Uncle's are all in Lagos and can't come back.

So after the lockdown was over we decided to go to the village.. On getting I discovered that his shop was open and all the money going into the first Uncle (first son) account.. So I called my uncle because he told me it was locked and he was saying did he need my permission before to open the shop and i decided to just control myself because i like peace and i decided to go to the house in the village...

On getting there I called my uncle and he told me the keys are with them in Lagos ... That it was waybilled and i said ok and went back with my brother and sister.

Fast forward today... I got a call from someone in the village that my Dad's burial death has been fixed and i was wowed because as the first son i haven't been told yet by my uncle's. So right now i am about acting but i need advice.

Let me guess, you are from the east.

If you are from the east, report your uncle to your kingsmen or the king. Let their decision prevail. Uncles can be dramatic Sha.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Goalnaldo(m): 10:41pm On Jun 08, 2020
idonhammer:
Op, is your mum still alive?if yes, then she needs to call umunna asap. You also need to fortified yourself spiritually because our people say that if a child insists on knowing what killed his Father, what killed his Father will kill him.
it's about time they change this parable. At times a child may know what killed his father and conquer that same thing.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Owuamanamifechi: 10:41pm On Jun 08, 2020
Because you no get money

1 Like

Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by humilitypays(m): 10:41pm On Jun 08, 2020
Aizen123:
Please I need advice. I lost my Dad over 2 months now and he hasn't been buried due to the pandemic. My Uncle's are all in Lagos and can't come back.

So after the lockdown was over we decided to go to the village.. On getting I discovered that his shop was open and all the money going into the first Uncle (first son) account.. So I called my uncle because he told me it was locked and he was saying did he need my permission before to open the shop and i decided to just control myself because i like peace and i decided to go to the house in the village...

On getting there I called my uncle and he told me the keys are with them in Lagos ... That it was waybilled and i said ok and went back with my brother and sister.

Fast forward today... I got a call from someone in the village that my Dad's burial death has been fixed and i was wowed because as the first son i haven't been told yet by my uncle's. So right now i am about acting but i need advice.
Don't fight....you are still young, focus on your future.....no matter what they do today, I assure you, your tomorrow will be better than your today.


You will remember their actions of today in future and smile because they will be poorer while you will be far better of than them and any of their children that supports their action of today.


Don't listen to anybody telling you to fight for your right....you are young and still schooling, you don't have the financial muscle and connection to fight with them now.....allow nature to fight for you....keep your hands completely clean.


You can go on the date they fixed to pay last respect to your late dad, and after that, leave....good enough you don't reside in the village with them....so go back to where you and your siblings reside and cut them off and focus on your life.


You also need to be very prayerful because you have bad uncles around you from this singular case. Run to God!

1 Like

Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by GAZZUZZ(m): 10:42pm On Jun 08, 2020
Aizen123:
Please I need advice. I lost my Dad over 2 months now and he hasn't been buried due to the pandemic. My Uncle's are all in Lagos and can't come back.

So after the lockdown was over we decided to go to the village.. On getting I discovered that his shop was open and all the money going into the first Uncle (first son) account.. So I called my uncle because he told me it was locked and he was saying did he need my permission before to open the shop and i decided to just control myself because i like peace and i decided to go to the house in the village...

On getting there I called my uncle and he told me the keys are with them in Lagos ... That it was waybilled and i said ok and went back with my brother and sister.

Fast forward today... I got a call from someone in the village that my Dad's burial death has been fixed and i was wowed because as the first son i haven't been told yet by my uncle's. So right now i am about acting but i need advice.

How old are you
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Vicas2000: 10:43pm On Jun 08, 2020
Aizen123:
Please I need advice. I lost my Dad over 2 months now and he hasn't been buried due to the pandemic. My Uncle's are all in Lagos and can't come back.

So after the lockdown was over we decided to go to the village.. On getting I discovered that his shop was open and all the money going into the first Uncle (first son) account.. So I called my uncle because he told me it was locked and he was saying did he need my permission before to open the shop and i decided to just control myself because i like peace and i decided to go to the house in the village...

On getting there I called my uncle and he told me the keys are with them in Lagos ... That it was waybilled and i said ok and went back with my brother and sister.

Fast forward today... I got a call from someone in the village that my Dad's burial death has been fixed and i was wowed because as the first son i haven't been told yet by my uncle's. So right now i am about acting but i need advice.

Some people will ask you to fight "for your right". But trust me, in this situation, I will advise you not to.

There is a Yoruba Adage that says "Ti owo e o ba te eku ida, ma beer iku to pa baba e". In crude translation, it means...If you are not in a position of power, do not challenge the people that kill your father"

You are a young man, with your life ahead of you. Do not fight or drag your fathers properties with your uncles. Most of these uncles have nothing to lose and will go to ANY length to get what they want.

You have a future, where you will make 50 times more than your dad made in his entire lifetime.

My advise....go for your dads burial. If you can get your village head to intervene, get them to mediate on your behalf, but do it amicably. If they decide to do things behind your back, don't even fight it...just go to the burial, greet them properly, pay your last respect to your dad and leave the venue.

Don't let some "village people" use your life to play Kalo Kalo.

4 Likes

Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Dname: 10:45pm On Jun 08, 2020
Fight them or show a bit if resistance to them. because all they are after is really yours! It's like a bully. They love easy targets! They might ( Uncle (s) them) might claim hurtful things to you. But if you resist them now, they'll be careful to clamore for things that are rightfully yours. You got to fight. If they respect and love you, they'll carry you along. But the sidelined you! That's a sign. Be careful though
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by GAZZUZZ(m): 10:45pm On Jun 08, 2020
hardbody:


Make a self assessment. If you can bury your dad without their financial input, then call the shot, its your call. But if na dem go shoulder the financial responsibility then just humble yourself and let them do your work for you. You can engage the village elders on the properties of the departed.

24 year old without a job, still in school.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Crochet: 10:45pm On Jun 08, 2020
Hmmm
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Nobody: 10:46pm On Jun 08, 2020
Aizen123:
I don't think this will be possible...Asin moving his corpse

aren't you the next of kin

and who took the body there in the first place
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Sweeetheart(m): 10:46pm On Jun 08, 2020
in any action you will take, make sure your instinct guide you. who know how your dad died, what if is not natural?



don't let their overzealous and mischief act make you do something that will make them to be pursuing you spiritually



involved an elderly person, tell them about the date fixing and it should be resolved without exchanging of words for the sake of you and your siblings
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Nobody: 10:47pm On Jun 08, 2020
Don't ever fight them. They will kill you off.
Go and pay last respect to your dead father. No noise, no fight.
Be a spectator.
When u wanna leave, take some sand from your dad's grave and pray onto it. Blow it and clean your hands and off you go. Forget about them and see nature visit them one after the other. As long as you were a good son to your dad. Let the land fight for you, okay.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by grandstar(m): 10:47pm On Jun 08, 2020
Remember your father is dead. You are alive. Jehovah is the God of the living and not of the dead. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

What your uncles did is bad but can you let it slide? They too will soon go. Don't lose sleep over people who will be gone soon. They will get served at the proper time. At least, you know what they are capable of.

Please secure your dad's assets. They are for his offspring who are alive. Your living well now that he is dead would what will make him happiest and not his burial. Greedy uncles will eye them. Anyway, apply wisdom how you secure his assets. Try and avoid rancor before the burial.

"His first son this or that" should have its place. Though important, pride can lead to shipwreck. See your role as a servant role and not a master role. Cloth yourself with Solomons lowliness of mind and wisdom and then you will be lifted up as he was.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by godwinusen: 10:48pm On Jun 08, 2020
INVOLVE A LAWYER AND ALSO INVITE THE POLICE TO INVESTIGATE YOUR FATHER'S DEATH,CHANGE THE BURIAL DATE,MY BRODA FIGHT HARD B/COS IT IS BETER TO DIE FIGHTING HARD FOR A COURSE THAN TO LIVE A COWARD.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by lilyheaven: 10:48pm On Jun 08, 2020
Foodqueen:
Leave the shop for them.

Whatever is not work for, never last for long. They will squander the money, and go poorer.

If they didn't tell u d date of the burial, don't ask just go there the day of the burial and act cool. Leave immediately after d burial.


Their life will never remain the same again.
You spoke my mind
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by WelcomeToBiafra: 10:49pm On Jun 08, 2020
Aizen123:
I don't think this will be possible...Asin moving his corpse

Take advise from that submission. Register your dad's corpse, give a very serious warning your dad's corpse goes nowhere without your signature and presence.

Don't do things in anger. If you have what it takes, lock them all up. Change all the access entrances. With code/wisdom and understanding.



Nigerian uncles are criminals, evil.

Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Dbeautyy(m): 10:49pm On Jun 08, 2020
Matthew 10:16
King James Version
16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.[b][/b]
I wish i could speak with you, but this scripture above is enough to instill wisdom into you. Seek wisdom on how to go about it. You know your background better than any of us here.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by idonhammer: 10:52pm On Jun 08, 2020
Gbamsolutely!

Goalnaldo:
it's about time they change this parable. At times a child may know what killed his father and conquer that same thing.
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by iukpe: 10:52pm On Jun 08, 2020
How old are you and what do you do? Good question because it's good to assess what you can do and how best to go about it.
You already have the most thing you need, being conscious that you ought to be carried along by your uncle.
How involved is your mother in all arrangements?
Let your uncle know he ought to show some regard for you if you're not a minor. His response will point a finger in the direction things should go from now on. Be prayerful and careful. Don't be violent don't insult anyone. Identify who is on your side.

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