Thanks a lot for your insightful contribution. I believe it would be helpful if you start a discussion on various options available to women on this platform. Will you consider doing it please?

sassysure:
The truth is that majority of us don't know anything about how their system works.
Aside std, if u are not sure of how your system work, please go and buy CD yourself and keep at home. Inside that part of your handbag only you have access to.

All these schools nowadays don't teach girls preventive method.


I was introduced, educated on how to play safe in junior secondary by a gyneocologist that the state govt sent to girls school in my state then. It was like further maths then. Made no sense. By senior secondary, sharp babes started teaching us in dormitory. Before we left school we became pro at reading and understanding our individual cycles.
Today, that's what I rely on as a woman with a healthy sexual appetite.

Except std, u want to go raw, learn your body. Your partner should be the type that will accept no when u say u are not free.

But oir girls, the latest fashion, gossip, is what they prefer.
I haven't seen any post since I started using this site where girls teach themselves how billings method work. Rather, they are interested in buying postinor 2.
As for raw sex, it will continue till forever.
Why not educate yourself.

I took me not less than one yr monitoring my cycle and making mistakes to learn how to use it. I don't use any contraceptive. That book is every girl's bible.

Those who do sociology and or social work use that book.
Love and life ....By l mcsweeny. I don't know if I got it right.

Hathor5:


Which is easier for you? Take responsibility for protection? Or get AIDS? And have your children all over the place?

That the babe already has?

There is nothing 3rd wave feminism would do to level the risk of males and females in sexual encounters gone awry.

Women equally contract STIs, STD's in addition to the peculiar risk of pregnancy management.

missjo:

Lol, what do you mean by coercion and manipulation and how exactly does it impact my decision to not get pregnant when I don't want to?

Your partner coercing you into having coitus & birth control failing (yes, it's not 100% effective).

You getting pregnant because your SO wouldn't marry you if you don't, thus your relationship is on the line and you're manipulated to give in.

Just trying to say, there are external factors that can impact your decision against your wishes.

Please, dear women. Let's learn to quickly perceive misogynistic and women shaming topics and not give them the attention they desperately seek.

If the op can hold one gender accountable while exonerating the other (a toddler knows it takes two people to make a baby), just know that he's not actually looking for a balanced discussion but an excuse to abuse and vilify women.

Pay him no mind. Have a good day, ladies

Childbirth places women at a disadvantage, so why would you choose not to be selfish with your body despite all the options available? The least the man can be forced to do, is pay monthly child support.

pocohantas:


I guess the point is, while it is the responsibility of both to take pregnancies- one would suffer the effect of this irresponsibility, PHYSICALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, FINANCIALLY and in whatever way we can think of.

Women need to learn to be “selfish”. Trust me, if men had wombs, humanity may have gone extinct. They are that selfish.

I hate blame games on things like this, so I am 100% selfish. The one I can do, I will do it. The one I can’t do, I will NEVER do it.

pocohantas:


I guess the point is, while it is the responsibility of both to take pregnancies- one would suffer the effect of this irresponsibility, PHYSICALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, FINANCIALLY and in whatever way we can think of.

Women need to learn to be “selfish”. Trust me, if men had wombs, humanity may have gone extinct. They are that selfish.

I hate blame games on things like this, so I am 100% selfish. The one I can do, I will do it. The one I can’t do, I will NEVER do it.

I know what the point is and I have never argued against women taking responsibility. I have argued in favor of everyone taking responsibility. There is no good reason why everyone should not. None.

JONNYSPUTE:
..ok bye. You win

No, we need to encourage women to choose better.

We lose more and we are more compelling to act as the parent. Unfortunately, it is a fact that cuts across marital status.

kneehighbootz:
Please, dear women. Let's learn to quickly perceive misogynistic and women shaming topics and not give them the attention they desperately seek.

If the op can hold one gender accountable while exonerating the other (a toddler knows it takes two people to make a baby), just know that he's not actually looking for a balanced discussion but an excuse to abuse and vilify women.

Pay him no mind. Have a good day, ladies

Spot on! And it is a systemic failure of parenting in Nigeria.
My parents NEVER for once even mistakenly instructed me about sex, apart from warning me about getting a girl pregnant. I think as a country we have to start discussing these issues openly. Some of us that are busy turning this into a gender blame trade really needs to get acquainted with the number of lives being lost to covertly procured abortion...I offer no personal opinion about the legality of abortion, except that I believe a woman owns her body and should own the responsibility of what happens with it.

liberalchick:

Most Nigerian parents fail in their duty of giving their children comprehensive sex education.

“You will get pregnant if a man touches you” is not sex education.

Edit:
Also, take your teen girl to an obgyn for contraceptives (16+).

Hathor5:


I know what the point is and I have never argued against women taking responsibility. I have argued in favor of everyone taking responsibility. There is no good reason why everyone should not. None.

Circle of influence, Circle of concern, Circle of concern.

The only thing you can control is YOU taking responsibility for yourself sexually because in this case, YOU are at a disadvantage.

bukatyne:


That the babe already has?

There is nothing 3rd wave feminism would do to level the risk of males and females in sexual encounters gone awry.

Women equally contract STIs, STD's in addition to the peculiar risk of pregnancy management.

I am not leveling anything. I have not argued against women suffering greater risks so try again. This time leave irrelevant waves and oceans out of it. Then we can have an intelligent discussion.

bukatyne:


Circle of influence, Circle of concern, Circle of concern.

The only thing you can control is YOU taking responsibility for yourself sexually because in this case, YOU are at a disadvantage.

Are you high or something?

Sterope:
No, we need to encourage women to choose better.

We lose more and we are more compelling to act as the parent. Unfortunately, it is a fact that cuts across marital status.

@bold:

Even a woman married in all forms bears the risk of pregnancy alone.

Carrys the baby alone, enters labour room alone, bears the pain alone, nurses the child alone, deals with bodily changes alone, works on weight loss/getting back to shape alone.

Hathor5:


Are you high or something?

You tell me.

That's just sad. But then many of us have different similar examples.

sassysure:

I lost 2 people to quack abortion.

Two cool babes. The guys are busy enjoying their lives.
Women use your head, no.
He gives me money, he is caring.
He will marry me.
I will trap him with pregnancy.

And here we are.
We end up becoming bitter baby mamas or wives that are trapped the men who wouldnt have proposed in the first place if not for pregnancy. Guy will be showing you he don't want you and u are there forcing yourself on him cos you have his kid.
No dignity.

Abortion is more or less murder. Most young ladies were ignorant of the implications of their sexual adventures.

Parents are partly to be blamed for lack of sexual education. A matured lady should be responsible for herself to avoid being victimized.

Wisdom and good sense is really difficult for the simple.

Some only want the psychological victory/validation that comes from pushing the blame to men, while they conveniently ignore who suffers the real consequence.

Thanks for capturing it so perfectly.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....So which is easier for you?

Guarding yourself against this so called irresponsible men and live your full life potentials

Or Competing to be at par with them and maybe get into trouble you might regret for the rest of your life?

Do you know you can't control other people? You can't force caring on anyone? Even the law will not force 'caring' on any father. Community shaming will not work against these men in the 21st century. With supportive partners, women will still at a disadvantage with pregnancy, childbirth and childrearing.

How about we make better choices for ourselves since you can't fight against these realities.

Hathor5:


I know what the point is and I have never argued against women taking responsibility. I have argued in favor of everyone taking responsibility. There is no good reason why everyone should not. None.

Ningen:

Your partner coercing you into having coitus & birth control failing (yes, it's not 100% effective).

You getting pregnant because your SO wouldn't marry you if you don't, thus your relationship is on the line and you're manipulated to give in.

Just trying to say, there are external factors that can impact your decision against your wishes.

This is kind of the point tho.
I can't comprehend any way I could possibly get pregnant against my own wishes. I mean, it's my uterus right?

That's an odd thing to type.

I have always been impressed which how practical and wise you are in your comments. May your wisdom continue.

I am a man, and I know 100% that many men are irresponsible and all they are interested in is satisfying their sexual appetite. In fact they will promise heaven and earth just to get the tip in raw and discharge raw. As long as a woman consents to allowing that then it's not a crime even though we can to apportion blame. But in reality the woman suffers more, in fact almost exclusively. And because of that alone a woman needs to be "selfish" like you have rightly pointed out.

I can not count the number of ladies I have come across in Nigeria whose reason for getting unwanted pregnancy is simple because their men don't like to use condom. I am always always enraged whenever I hear this. And I always ask them why exactly they refused to make the use of condom the minimum requirement for sex...

Ladies need to be selfish! 100% selfish. This is not even about preaching abstinence, but safe sex.

pocohantas:


I guess the point is, while it is the responsibility of both to take pregnancies- one would suffer the effect of this irresponsibility, PHYSICALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, FINANCIALLY and in whatever way we can think of.

Women need to learn to be “selfish”. Trust me, if men had wombs, humanity may have gone extinct. They are that selfish.

I hate blame games on things like this, so I am 100% selfish. The one I can do, I will do it. The one I can’t do, I will NEVER do it.

Exactly, the stakes are higher for us. Why should we insist on making poor choices?

bukatyne:


@bold:

Even a woman married in all forms bears the risk of pregnancy alone.

Carrys the baby alone, enters labour room alone, bears the pain alone, nurses the child alone, deals with bodily changes alone, works on weight loss/getting back to shape alone.

Sterope:
Childbirth places women at a disadvantage, so why would you choose not to be selfish with your body despite all the options available? The least the man can be forced to do, is pay monthly child support.

Lol. You dey always talk your own as e dey your mind...

Justbehave:
I never knew you are this empty. S mh

Oh.

I must be an empty person, surely, for changing the narrative; blaming men and accusing them of enjoying abortion.

But the OP is a genius because his narrative is against women. Thank you for seeing the light!

Sterope:
Do you know you can't control other people? You can't force caring on anyone? Even the law will not force 'caring' on any father. Community shaming will not work against these men in the 21st century. With supportive partners, women will still at a disadvantage with pregnancy, childbirth and childrearing.

How about we make better choices for ourselves since you can't fight against these realities.

FIRST OF ALL, I have not argued against women taking responsibility so why are you telling me all this?

You are all quick to take irresponsible men as an example. What about responsible guys? What about those guys who get trapped by women with pregnancy? Didn't these girls tell them they were on birth control? An irresponsible guy will not give a damn but a responsible guy will suffer the consequences because he has a conscience. And again anyone can get HIV or some other disease. The reason that women can get it more easily will not help any man who gets it. Will he say "I thought only women can get HIV"? Abeg!


And you can force a father to take financial responsibility for his child, many countries actually do because they have gone beyond useless discussions about "who will suffer greater consequences" and made the child's welfare top priority.

EVERYONE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE WITH SEX.

Just because I can't force everyone to be responsible, does not change the rightness of the message.

Why we even have to discuss something as simple as ABC is

pmoye:
Spot on! And it is a systemic failure of parenting in Nigeria.
My parents NEVER for once even mistakenly instructed me about sex, apart from warning me about getting a girl pregnant. I think as a country we have to start discussing these issues openly. Some of us that are busy turning this into a gender blame trade really needs to get acquainted with the number of lives being lost to covertly procured abortion...I offer no personal opinion about the legality of abortion, except that I believe a woman owns her body and should own the responsibility of what happens with it.

That’s just it, the sexual foundation is faulty. As a result we have young women with compromised fertility and life because of illegal abortion, we have unplanned children that causes a burden on our society, we have an abhorrent rape culture. No one is untouched, we ALL suffer.

But but but... it’s only ‘wayward’ women that suffer, as if.

Misogynistic indeed... you're finally giving vent to your personal hatred of me.

But then you have been noticed. You can not return to where ever you emerged from until next time there's another opportunity to post without sense.

kneehighbootz:
Please, dear women. Let's learn to quickly perceive misogynistic and women shaming topics and not give them the attention they desperately seek.

If the op can hold one gender accountable while exonerating the other (a toddler knows it takes two people to make a baby), just know that he's not actually looking for a balanced discussion but an excuse to abuse and vilify women.

Pay him no mind. Have a good day, ladies

FIRST OF ALL, we are saying men cannot be forced to take responsibilities so women should make better choices. How many responsible guys are out there? Are they going to experience significant changes to their body? Is their job/school going to suffer as much? Is finance everything there is to child-rearing?

Hathor5:


FIRST OF ALL, I have not argued against women taking responsibility so why are you telling me all this?

You are all quick to take irresponsible men as an example. What about responsible guys? What about those guys who get trapped by women with pregnancy? Didn't these girls tell them they were on birth control? An irresponsible guy will not give a damn but a responsible guy will suffer the consequences because he has a conscience.


And you can force a father to take financial responsibility for his child, many countries actually do because they have gone beyond useless discussions about "who will suffer greater consequences" and made the child's welfare top priority.

I never knew I would see the day where telling women to be sexually responsible as they bear most of the risks is 'against women.'

Nwagnu, keep opening your legs and getting pregnant or popping pills.

Sterope:
Childbirth places women at a disadvantage, so why would you choose not to be selfish with your body despite all the options available? The least the man can be forced to do, is pay monthly child support.

Child support of N2 or worse case, ruining the life of the man in the West.

The woman still bears the risk nonetheless.

Hathor5:

EVERYONE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE WITH SEX.

Just because I can't force everyone to be responsible, does not change the rightness of the message.

Why we even have to discuss something as simple as ABC is

You told no lies, I don’t know why some people are having trouble comprehending.

We need to stop our society’s narrative of “women only suffer the fallout of irresponsible sexual behavior” because 1. It’s not true. 2. Imagine if we maintain the same energy on men, the importance of safe sex and taking financial responsibility for any child borne out of such behaviors, we would have twice the intended effect.

Sterope:
Exactly, the stakes are higher for us. Why should we insist on making poor choices?

Because we are the same as men and everyone MUST be FORCED to bear the choices of their actions.

It is amazing how you managed to give the discussion a moral hue.
Also expanding the consequences of abortion from the immediate effect on the person who got pregnant to secondary and tertiary effects on the society... Yes your points are valid here and without invalidating what primary consequences are on the woman (abortion/unwanted pregnancy).

Even with respect to wanted/planned pregnancy the woman carries personal risks that no sophisticated arguments will lessen.

liberalchick:

That’s just it, the sexual foundation is faulty. As a result we have young women with compromised fertility and life because of illegal abortion, we have unplanned children that causes a burden on our society, we have an abhorrent rape culture. No one is untouched, we ALL suffer.

But but but... it’s only ‘wayward’ women that suffer, as if.