pmoye:
This is advice is really for Nigerian ladies. Please and please do not marry a man that is not rich. Your very life will depend on it. You heard me... How long you live as a woman may well depend on how rich your husband is. This may seem like an over-generalization, but a very needful one. Quite a troubling percentage of Nigerian men can not handle a woman who is more financially buoyant.
person earns, because I believe thfinancially. That the home should be planned like a company with budgets, financial p

I have seen women who have die
Thank u very much for this, I tot I was rude until I read this

The poorer the man, the more wicked, the more angry, and the more deadly he generally is in Nigeria. Do not let any man or any woman convince you to marry for love. There is no such thing as that, just a queer surge of hormones that makes you think you are in love. If you marry a poor man for love, hunger and suffering will soon reset your thinking, and by then most women feel too culturally compelled to remain with the toxin of a husband they have. Take a cue from evolutionary development in animal kingdom generally where females select the most suitable male for mating.

Do not simply believe in a man's future plans and dreams. If he doesn't have money now, he is not ready to be a husband. No matter how much you think you love him, treat him like the case of AS genotype (yours) marrying an SS genotype (his). And this is something I respect some Igbo men for. They will never think of marrying a woman unless they are economically ready.

If he is earning N30,000, or N40,000 or N90,000 per month he is not ready to marry. These are just examples from posts I have seen around here. Do not be fooled, the amount on the payslip is not always available for taking care of the home. But that's the talk for another day.

Some of us are probably never going to get married, I personally find it very scary to read about how men because of poverty increasingly turn against their wives in marriage... I may be too traditional though, because I do not fvcking care the money the wife is bringing into the house. Her role as a mother and a wife is already supremely more than you need to compensate for as a man. If you are a man, do not get close to a man when you are still poor. It is wickedness. It is dishonesty. It is crime against humanity. Do not sell her a future hope of becoming a pastor and other popular silliness.

Marrying a lady when you cannot completely and single-handedly take care of her is gender violence. Stop it.

pmoye:
This is advice is really for Nigerian ladies. Please and please do not marry a man that is not rich. Your very life will depend on it. You heard me... How long you live as a woman may well depend on how rich your husband is. This may seem like an over-generalization, but a very needful one. Quite a troubling percentage of Nigerian men can not handle a woman who is more financially buoyant.

Ideally it shouldn't matter how much each person earns, because I believe that the husband and the wife should be one financially. That the home should be planned like a company with budgets, financial planning, sound auditing and all... But from the much we have seen around the average Nigerian family is far from this ideal. We often have what increasingly looks like a union that appears more to serve a cultural/societal expectation, a union that is sustained just so that the society can think you are happily married, while between the man and the wife it is more like between US and China, between Northern and Southern Nigeria, a perpetual cold war and bitter jostling for resource allocation and control.

I have seen women who have died because the husbands couldn't afford antenatal care and used ego-motivated argument to keep the women from accessing timely medical care... And of course, few years or even months after that those wicked men would later bring in other wives into the house.

The poorer the man, the more wicked, the more angry, and the more deadly he generally is in Nigeria. Do not let any man or any woman convince you to marry for love. There is no such thing as that, just a queer surge of hormones that makes you think you are in love. If you marry a poor man for love, hunger and suffering will soon reset your thinking, and by then most women feel too culturally compelled to remain with the toxin of a husband they have. Take a cue from evolutionary development in animal kingdom generally where females select the most suitable male for mating.

Do not simply believe in a man's future plans and dreams. If he doesn't have money now, he is not ready to be a husband. No matter how much you think you love him, treat him like the case of AS genotype (yours) marrying an SS genotype (his). And this is something I respect some Igbo men for. They will never think of marrying a woman unless they are economically ready.

If he is earning N30,000, or N40,000 or N90,000 per month he is not ready to marry. These are just examples from posts I have seen around here. Do not be fooled, the amount on the payslip is not always available for taking care of the home. But that's the talk for another day.

Some of us are probably never going to get married, I personally find it very scary to read about how men because of poverty increasingly turn against their wives in marriage... I may be too traditional though, because I do not fvcking care the money the wife is bringing into the house. Her role as a mother and a wife is already supremely more than you need to compensate for as a man. If you are a man, do not get close to a man when you are still poor. It is wickedness. It is dishonesty. It is crime against humanity. Do not sell her a future hope of becoming a pastor and other popular silliness.

Marrying a lady when you cannot completely and single-handedly take care of her is gender violence. Stop it.

bukatyne:
Money has wings.

The person who is rich today can become poor/broke tomorrow and vice versa.

Rather than this skeletal approach, why don't we dig to see what's wrong with the Nigerian family system and correct it?

How many men are rich in Nigeria?

What happens if all that made a man 'the head' was money and he loses it ten years into the marriage; should his wife get a divorce?

omoyankee3:
Two things a man should have before getting married; a good paying steady job and an apartment/house (owned or rented). Apart from his personality, those are the basic things a woman should look out for in a potential spouse.

emmaodet:
Also, no woman is doing a broke man favour by marrying him.
Whether women decides to marry poor or struggling men or not, most ladies too will be broke if they stay on their own.
Have seen it a lot. A lot of aunties or sisters on the street stay in one room with many ladies, all struggling together.
If they had married 5-10 years ago, they would have put the blames on men for using marriage and poverty to cage them and not realise their dreams blah blah blah but here they are, 10 years down the lane alone with no excuse of a baby or a man slowing them down yet wallowing in poverty.
If only a lot of poor and struggling men also know the kind of favor and grace God is giving them by allowing women to avoid them, they all will be dancing.
Now, let us imagine a struggling man earning 50k per month without any unnecessary baggage of women...

emmaodet:
Which brings us to the question - why are we empowering women when they won't/are not meant to co-finance the family?
Why blocking the jobs and slots to be taking by men who are eager and ready to raise a home and family when we constantly scream and shout about women empowerment.
A lot of ladies are working with shell, mobil, total, nnpc, cbn, immigration, custom to name a few who are blocking able bodies men from accessing these jobs and settle down.
You may be opportuned to be doing fine and think others are but that is very very wrong, a big human error for that.
The world is being run by a system and whether you like it or not, let all men hustle from now till 2050, only around 3% will be wealth, 20-30% in the middle class and remaining in the struggling class.
Having an egg as a womb is no more enough in this century or age, all hands must be on deck else you can stay alone, dem no dey arrest person for that.
Let me tell you how money works if you don't - money is just like school or exam.
If all nigerian student decides to be serious and reading vigorously and all pass jamb let say 290/300(though not possible), then automatically scores won't be used again as a yard stick rather other criterials.
If all men are given 100m each today, that money automatically becomes useless because 100m from 100m people will be chasing the same bread, land, car etc and automatically that bread will become 200m per one, that car will become 10b per one and the system will reset itself back.

CorperKola:

What is their goal?
Their goal is to reduce the current uncontrolled growth of human population.
And people should really be worried, there was a period of 30 years in the late 20th century when human population doubled. You dont need a prophet to tell any ody that if we keep that up. Trouble is brewing.
More people will lead to chaos generally, and increased competition for resources. Life just becomes harder and more difficult
The central theme of economics is that resources are limited.
Lets use Nigeria as an example. For instance people of the 1950s to 1970s set used to say jobs were waiting for them by the time of graduation. And things were generally better, why??
The number of qualified people was not up to the number of jobs available. How many nigerians had a university degree then.
Now even some animals and babies inadvertently have degrees.
It has security implications too, no police force can be effective when there is a large expanse of land to police and bandits attack in hundreds and have unemployed millions of men to recruit from.
Empowered women will delay childbearing, females used to marry by 18 years back in the days now everywhere is littered with 30yr old women with bsc,msc mba and no viable marriageable men.
So these people know exactly what they are doing.
Population must be controlled one way or the other

SeaTrade:
Clear signs of a person who has never made money on her own.
Not everyone is into paid employment,
A single wrong business decision can break any bubbling entrepreneur or trader.
Business na gamble,people that were doing so well as traders made just one wrong decision by taking risk of buying a new product,product arrive very well but it doesn't sell.Yoy will have goods but zero cash.
When you ply roads and see trucks that burnt completely laden with goods,do you think those properties belong to spirits?
What of contractors that used their money,do government contract and FG or his patron never pays?
Money is very volatile,reason old men always advise young ones to plant money on the ground(build house).

emmaodet:
Which brings us to the question - why are we empowering women when they won't/are not meant to co-finance the family?

Magnoliaa:


I get your point, and what you're saying is far from what I had in mind and doesn't even invalidate it. Inspite of everything you've said here, there are some 'constants' about money.

Why do you think the term financial stability is a thing? You can grow wealth. If you made a bad decision that made you lose money, that's on you. If you're ignorant about how business works and don't save money, it's all on you. Are there times where the economy or circumstances beyond your control can work against you? Sure. But those cases are not what I'm talking about.

Becoming rich is not a thing of luck or shuffling where the elements will put people together in some casing, shake them, then pick out one random person to bless with money. It is NOT out of your control in that sense.

Must is always be money, money etc everyime . This post made me laugh, you say they shud marry money right. Ok
But I will advise females out there, marry a guy/man with Vision. (Believe me, anything you can control has become possessed and obsessed).. ppl's obsession towards money is really getting out of hands
If you marry money, HV you forgotten money varnishes.
But vision never dies, if the Vision is sharp enough, it will even bring more money.
You don't even care if the guy has no sense of respect, no intelligence, nothing nothing.. all you care about is money .
HV you written off yourself that u can't make it??.
Pls, change that mind set, there is more to life than money you are shouting

bukatyne:
Money has wings.

The person who is rich today can become poor/broke tomorrow and vice versa.

Rather than this skeletal approach, why don't we dig to see what's wrong with the Nigerian family system and correct it?

How many men are rich in Nigeria?

What happens if all that made a man 'the head' was money and he loses it ten years into the marriage; should his wife get a divorce?

emmaodet:
Which brings us to the question - why are we empowering women when they won't/are not meant to co-finance the family?

Why blocking the jobs and slots to be taking by men who are eager and ready to raise a home and family when we constantly scream and shout about women empowerment.

A lot of ladies are working with shell, mobil, total, nnpc, cbn, immigration, custom to name a few who are blocking able bodies men from accessing these jobs and settle down.

You may be opportuned to be doing fine and think others are but that is very very wrong, a big human error for that.
The world is being run by a system and whether you like it or not, let all men hustle from now till 2050, only around 3% will be wealth, 20-30% in the middle class and remaining in the struggling class.

Having an egg as a womb is no more enough in this century or age, all hands must be on deck else you can stay alone, dem no dey arrest person for that.

Let me tell you how money works if you don't - money is just like school or exam.
If all nigerian student decides to be serious and reading vigorously and all pass jamb let say 290/300(though not possible), then automatically scores won't be used again as a yard stick rather other criterials.

If all men are given 100m each today, that money automatically becomes useless because 100m from 100m people will be chasing the same bread, land, car etc and automatically that bread will become 200m per one, that car will become 10b per one and the system will reset itself back.

SeaTrade:
Becoming rich is all about strategic positioning and a huge deal of luck.
You can't plan your way through everything in business, sometimes,infact most times,big breaks come via luck.
I know very well what I'm saying.
There is no constant or financial stability amongst entrepreneurs.
Most of their finances revolve around their businesses and as such have very low disposable income,
And some other times,their risk taking venture gets sour and they lose everything.
Financial stability can only work on paid employment people or old people on fixed income and retirement packages.

Magnoliaa:


I get your point, and what you're saying is far from what I had in mind and doesn't even invalidate it. Inspite of everything you've said here, there are some 'constants' about money.

Elporo:
Wealth is a dance, the more mistakes you make, the better you get at it.

Nothing constant about money except the pursuit of it. If one were to pursue wealth consistently, eventually he will get it. Because at that point he has so many mistakes. I am talking about paying tuition (learning process).

You assume there is a straight path. I would be wary of such

Magnoliaa:


[color=#770077]Okay. I'll concede and say that he is right with the part where he said I haven't started making my own money. So I guess he has the edge of experience there. And it is true for him, and probably you.

Elporo:


I read everything . Your writing skill attests to you how much you read. One can only write well, by reading well.

You said a lot and have so many questions; many you never asked, I however found them lurking within your paragraphs.

The principle for wealth; true wealth where you (the boss) works like an ant but eat like an elephant is this:

You find something people want and build a wall around it; put a small door at the center then charge an access fee. Every business, every hustle is built on a variation of this model.

If you really want to figure this "Money game" from the fundamentals (no fluff no filler) - get a copy of Adam's Smith's; The Wealth of Nations.
It is a dense book, however. Nonetheless, should you get through half of it; you should begin to understand.

With that I leave you with my favorite quote from Adam Smith:
The chance of gain is by every man more or less overvalued and the change of loss is by most men undervalued.

This position was re-echoed "in a manner of the way" by Aliko Dangote in an interview, where he spoke about his near collapse when going into the cement business.

Other interesting books
- The Richest Man in Babylon
- An introduction to decision theory (I assure you don't know how to make good decisions)

bukatyne:
Money has wings.

The person who is rich today can become poor/broke tomorrow and vice versa.

Rather than this skeletal approach, why don't we dig to see what's wrong with the Nigerian family system and correct it?

How many men are rich in Nigeria?

What happens if all that made a man 'the head' was money and he loses it ten years into the marriage; should his wife get a divorce?

bukatyne:


Anu,

I have seen enough to know that having money is not static or money without vision is temporary.

A man with vision you can key into is key. Pun intended.

I have seen people move from earning peanuts to earning millions in a space of few years and from a lot to hustling for crumbs in a space of years.

descarado:

Lady buka, hope all is well with you and yours?