Hi everyone pls help me make sense of this. I'll just summarize it pls.
I and my boyfriend have been having issue for like months now , he's been acting aloof and all I asked severally he makes excuses, eventually towards d end of last month I was able to get him to open up and he mentioned something about meeting a certain mallam who said we're toxic together and dat we should be open to someone else.
We discussed dat and decided to pray on it, I did, the report are that were good together.
I told him he didn't really seem to believe it, was still cold n all around dat last month still we broke up a week after one man we both know intervened and we reconciled
He, I mean my boyfriend now mentioned things about getting angry quite easily and using words dat doesn't go down well with him and all dat, we fixed things Sha and for about 3 weeks now we've been cool and all but I noticed he stills holds back a little.
One thing though is he claims he loves me bla bla
So today I read a piece about a guy and his girl dat he had to let go of because he wasn't financially stable as at den but dat he's okay now and wants her back.d girl begged to stay but he insisted she left and now he wants her back but doesn't know how to go about it.
So I called him and we talked about it.
Only for me to find out that he's still holding on to past complains, specifically,religion and d behaviours he talked of even though it's no longer there. Now my confusion is , is it really fear of what he might have been told and according to him such behavior cannot be changed or he has an agenda he's just not saying?
That's what I've been confused and bothered about.
This is someone that always emphasized on religion and ethnicity not being an issue at all only for him to turnaround and keep saying they're issues now that back den we were younger and in school.
I forgot to mention this is a relationship of 4 years plus.

He has met someone of same religion and ethnicity..no dey worry ur sef.

donbachi:
He has met someone of same religion and ethnicity..no dey worry ur sef.

What do u suggest I do?

Wendybrown:


What do u suggest I do?

give him space for now.maybe a week or 2,and see how he will react.

donbachi:
give him space for now.maybe a week or 2,and see how he will react.

Alright. Thank you for your time.

The issue called love is crazy.. but since u said uve been together for 4 yrs, try explaining everything again to him then give him his space, if he wants u he will reach out, if nt just move on

Simieoni2:
The issue called love is crazy.. but since u said uve been together for 4 yrs, try explaining everything again to him then give him his space, if he wants u he will reach out, if nt just move on

Thank you. I've actually done that over and over again he's still adamant.

Wendybrown:


Thank you. I've actually done that over and over again he's still adamant.

My dear move on, its going to b hard. Yes i knw , its safe for ur mental health

Simieoni2:

My dear move on, its going to b hard. Yes i knw , its safe for ur mental health

Thank you for your time.

When a person has made his or her decision to let you go, never try to change it, you irritate him or her more. Op give him some space, learn to live without him ,he is gone.

Palema007:
When a person has made his or her decision to let you go, never try to change it, you irritate him or her more. Op give him some space, learn to live without him ,he is gone.

With no hope of return? I actually do love him very much

Wendybrown:



With no hope of return? I actually do love him very much

Sister I know you do, I breaks me to see you in pains but the reality is He may not be Back. If at all he will, it may be with some baggages. I'm very sorry you are going through this right now but you just have to forge on, focus on your life and make it better. Sorry.

Palema007:
Sister I know you do, I breaks me to see you in pains but the reality is He may not be Back. If at all he will, it may be with some baggages. I'm very sorry you are going through this right now but you just have to forge on, focus on your life and make it better. Sorry.

ummm.. thanks.

Inter-religious and inter-tribal relationships wahala.

If he starts acting irritated around you, let go and move on. Dragging it would only deepen the hurt.