Preamble (you can skip):
Most times ladies understand the male psychological constitution better than the men. By nature men respond with a protective and generous instinct towards ladies who are sad, in pain, or just in need. And all the ladies need to do is to simulate any of these emotional states. Beyond this, men many times feel the need to impress girls and naively believing that by impressing the girl they have a smooth in-road to their heart. This couldn't be further from the truth. Because in reality, as a Naija man you are no more than prey to the predator that some Naija babes are. You are maga and history is filled with big magas who have died, fought painful wars, and lost all because men fell for feminine intrigues. Men should start helping other men who are in need... Real men almost never ask for help (notice the adjective 'real') and when they do that their male buddies usually ignore them, but before a lousy babe mimics a sad face we are up on our feet trying to know how to be of help...


You exchange few gists and good-natured chats with some of these babes, small time and the next thing they are telling you is that,

"I'm not fine".

That's why I don't like asking a lady that I don't know well, How are you? And if I am forced to ask her out of politeness because she asks me first and she tells me she is not fine, there are million ways of ignoring that... but I never ask her,

"What is going on?"

Never. It is usually a trap. I simply immediately heap on her my own complaints...even when I know she cannot believe me.

The gist:
Few days ago a babe that only calls whenever she is in need of free medical advice, called me up on the mobile:

"Hello dear, the boyfriend of all the ladies..."

Na dem. When they suddenly start with unusual kindness and unwarranted accolades, as a man I immediately start plotting the like trajectories of the exchange.

"Hi Ngozi, this that you remember me today...it's been like how long now, 3 months right?". And now she mildly needs to be on the defensive. She needs to stutter, and in the least I have reminded her that she's not my everyday pal and she needs to be psychologically prepared for a No to a question she has not even asked.

"It's not like that... You know how the country is... How can you even know, you people enjoying life outside the country... I'm really happy for you dear."

Well, I give it to her, she's incredibly good at what she does, changing the direction of the conversation to a plain advantageous to her.

"I can't complain, but trust me the land is only greener on the other side... you guys in Nigeria have no idea how lucky you are, and how envious of you we are." Well again, two can play that game.

"That's what you all say... [1] And is that why you forgot all about me, just like that? You didn't even try to know what has been going on with me. It's really not fair you know. [2] Anyway, how are you doing over there?"

The first part ( [1] ) should ideally put me on the defensive while at the same time paving a way to what was to follow. The second part ( [2] ) was to paint her as caring, genuinely interested in my welfare but the real intent was to force me to ask about her welfare so she could have a vent for the feminine emotions she was about to simulate. Should I bite the bait? Should I selectively respond to the convenient part (the part before [1] )? Should I deflect? Should I just bring something totally different up? It's really up to me... There are a million ways to skin a cat. But my number was being roamed and I was paying for every second of the call, more than she was being charged. And the most practical way out was for me to tackle the elephant in the room head on. She seemed a little too relaxed during the call and I had a hunch that she was prepared for a long call, and no matter how much I deflected she would find her way back to her main reason for calling.

"Actually I didn't forget about you... I was passively following you on SM... I must confess you've done well for yourself." I knew it's gonna be about money this time around, not the usual free medical advice... She had once asked me for money...it was a loan for her business. I obliged her, but she took some offence when I demanded repayment telling me that I was too big to be expecting her to repay. I told her she should have said it was a monetary gift she wanted then, and not a loan. That the money I lent out to her was not personal money, but from a company account and must be repaid... That was about 3 months ago, and she was actually rude in her reaction to my attempt to reclaim the loan. I later succeeded in making her do full refund.

"I'm impressed with what you've done with your business... the glowing responses from your customers, the new products... I might even have talked about you to some friends, citing you as example of possibilities".

"Ah, my dear don't be deceived biko!" She was laughing, apparently at what she believed to be my naivety. "That's for the camera... My reality is a million times worse than what you see in those updates. You know I cannot lie to you? You know now.. Those photos were not mine... They were from my suppliers and meant to provoke commitment from my customers...And that's my problem right now..."

I knew it was about money. My intention was not to prevent her from making a request but to make her do so without the entanglement of an emotional blackmail or deception. And if I was going to be true to the masculine evolutionary development, my impulse should have led me to asking her, What problem? Tell me what's going on. But this would have lost me my advantage. But instead I replied,

"Welcome to my world! That's the paradoxical life that business people live; everyone somehow thinks you have money, while in truth you're in more dire need of cash than everyone else..."

"I tell you..." She was going to cut on. I wasn't finished though.

"You have no idea how many financial institutions I had called just over the past few days trying to secure fund for some business. It got so bad I dipped into my saving and emptied it all. To the last kobo!"

"Hmmm. I was at your office here on Tuesday, it was so very busy... You seem to have high customer traffic every single minute of the day now, I had to wait for about 10 minutes to be attended to." Omo ake! The message was clear, Last kobo kwa, with all the patronage at your office.. This is entitlement at its peak. She actually expected me to take company money and hand over to her. As usual, your needs as a man don't to such ladies... That's why I have called men prey and these ladies the predators. Predators never waste their time bothering about the utility value of their prey; predators are only concerned with their own stomach.

"Yes, you're right... Things get really busy these days, but it's mostly a fall out of the lockdown..."

"I am sure if you really want to lend a hand, you can still help me." That was from her.

"Sometimes you want to help and you're simply not in the place to do so. I told you my savings is gone, and I may not get it back anytime soon."

"What if I'm your girlfriend? Or your sister? Ehn?"

"Well we both know you are not my sister... (laugh), and I don't have a girlfriend." It's time to deflect and cut the call short. "By the way, what about your fiance? How come you didn't ask him for such money?"

"Hmm. I can't ask him now." But you could ask me right? I thought to myself, what a curious creature. "He is trying to reposition his business, and it is taking a lot of money to do so. For the past few months now I haven't taken kobo from him."

"Pele... I know what that feels like. Pele. I really wish I could be of some help... maybe next time. Promise you I am going to see what I can do next time. You hear?"

"Na wa o. You are really my only hope." This should have provoked an outburst of anger from me, but that's another trap. Never get angry. At least never show anger. Anger is generally expensive while dealing with ladies like this; you often have to apologize with some sort of money regardless of who is at fault. I needed to contain my feelings.

"It happens. But I must say as a business lady you have to normalize taking loan from banks". I knew should would fall for my trap here. I so desperately wanted her to.

"Ah! Bank loan!?? You want to kill me? Where will I get the interest from? It is better to take it from you."

"Where will you get the interest from? What about the hair and fashion products you sell? Don't you make profit from those?" Of course she does. "So... see life o! You actually plan to take my own money, use it to do business, make profit on it, and then return my money whenever you like, or even get angry if I make the mistake of asking for repayment... The same money I could have put into different investment and earned profit on.... So in all of this what would be my own gain?"

She laughed, it was a difficult laugh but I knew my points were perfectly understood.

"Can't you do it for God, and for friendship?"

"Why you're busy sparing your fiance, your parents, and your own comfort, you want me to do it for God and for friendship?. Amazing! I always knew you were a funny girl sha. Me I don't have that kind of money o. Maybe one day I will, but not anytime soon."

"It is well."

"Yes it is well. I really have to go now. I have already been charged too much for receiving your call. My regards to Richard. See you around." Okay, I cut the call, and that was a little rude.

Final comment:
Ngozi is not her real name. There is no lesson to learn here other than to encourage men to stop blaming ladies that they willingly hand over their money to. You are in full control of your own resources. You should understand that it is all a game. You are the prey, and they are the predators. Interestingly we increasingly have situations where the man is the predator and the lady is the prey... It really is a mad world...

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow...

You are invited to listen to Mad world Gary Jules.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa-ae6_okmg

I am following this.

More grease to your elbow, bro
Following....

nice one op....i learnt something new

what are the two people above me following........gist wey don finish

I wonder too o.

iloveojonime:
nice one op....i learnt something new

what are the two people above me following........gist wey don finish

Instead of all the story a plain no is the best

hashtagged:
Instead of all the story a plain no is the best

There’s nothing wrong in giving a lady money as long as it’s genuine and such lady has been sincere. Same applies to a guy too.

However if I sense entitlement mentality, I owe u no explanations or this talk talk, it’s simply “I don’t have” any yarns you say after that will be ignored.

You’ll be hearing talks like “I can’t believe you don’t have so so amount in ur account”. I won’t even talk u out of it I’ll simply ignore.

ladies are very good at emotional blackmail,guilt trip you into gloanig her your last saving and expect you not to ask for it back.

Whenever I meet a girl, I tell her U am not working, or a private school teacher. This way they do not expect much from me. the good diggers leave me early on. The others keep calling me one month to month end to ask for something. I quickly tell them My parents borrowed money to pay me through school and I am repaying the depth.

always appear broke when you are around girls. modest apartment, modest cloth etc.

They have nothing to contribute to my life apart from their V spot .

I give to guys easily
girls..noooo

Funny read, this actually made me laugh.

You are very correct. Emotional blackmail is their turf, and a lot of times it stems from entitlement mentality. Some of them even call it beauty privilege. They expect that men should somehow be responsible for their comfort... Yes, the men in their lives should be. Their fathers, brothers, and husbands... and no more.
It still beats me the audacity some Nigerian babes have, asking a guy they are just meeting for cash. Generally no matter how pretty or good you are as a lady the moment you open your mouth to ask me for money, that's the end. I just believe it is ladies with the worst kind of moral constitution that ask guys they are just meeting for money... To worse it if you tell them No they will somehow spin it to seem as if you are the one that is stingy, while ignoring the fact that they lack manners and home training for asking guys they just met for money.

We men have our own kind of entitlement though, but it is easier to manage than the one from ladies. If you tell a male friend or man that you don't have money, nothing spoil, life go continue sha between the two of you. Men are that simple.

saintvc:
ladies are very good at emotional blackmail,guilt trip you into gloanig her your last saving and expect you not to ask for it back.

Whenever I meet a girl, I tell her U am not working, or a private school teacher. This way they do not expect much from me. the good diggers leave me early on. The others keep calling me one month to month end to ask for something. I quickly tell them My parents borrowed money to pay me through school and I am repaying the depth.

always appear broke when you are around girls. modest apartment, modest cloth etc.

They have nothing to contribute to my life apart from their V spot .

I give to guys easily
girls..noooo

Interesting write up

Just a two letter words, N O, is what took you 5k words to transcribe? What happens if you want to make a three word statement?

Walk:
Just a two letter words, N O, is what took you 5k words to transcribe? What happens if you want to make a three word statement?

He dey pain this one oo.. Una scope don cast. Me don dey wise up. For better for stay for worse for go attitude go soon vanish. What a lazy lady can do a sharp street guy can do better. Two can certainly play this game. Nice write up bruv. Nicely crafted. You have a gift.

I simply say NO.

"Eyaa. NO"

I no be your papa

I have learnt the hard way not to give girls money so that they will like you.

saintvc:
ladies are very good at emotional blackmail,guilt trip you into gloanig her your last saving and expect you not to ask for it back.

Whenever I meet a girl, I tell her U am not working, or a private school teacher. This way they do not expect much from me. the good diggers leave me early on. The others keep calling me one month to month end to ask for something. I quickly tell them My parents borrowed money to pay me through school and I am repaying the depth.

always appear broke when you are around girls. modest apartment, modest cloth etc.

They have nothing to contribute to my life apart from their V spot .

I give to guys easily
girls..noooo

Someone passed by us just now he's an elderly man
And he's looking at us like we have no future cause we are all drinking origin early in the morning but who cares ?
I wish you're with us so we go gather stone and reason together you made a whole lot of sense man

Girls before you ask a guy for money ask your fellow friends first their reaction will determine if or whether you can ask a guy or not
Thank you

Ahahaha. Abeg share that origin reach here. That's much better than taking some piss-like coffee in the morning.

ZINIBANKS:

Someone passed by us just now he's an elderly man
And he's looking at us like we have no future cause we are all drinking origin early in the morning but who cares ?
I wish you're with us so we go gather stone and reason together you made a whole lot of sense man

Yes... In fact, I could write a whole novel or play on NO, and money will be made on it while you're busy crying here like anyone gives a f.uc.k which part of the dinosauric past you crawled out from.

By the way, happy birthday. I noticed you just 'joined' Nairaland on 26th of this month.

Walk:
Just a two letter words, N O, is what took you 5k words to transcribe? What happens if you want to make a three word statement?

My brother, I completely agree, NO would work when the ladies in question come out plainly. Guys are the ones that go straight to the point in making request... The ladies that do that are still newbies in the School of Entitlement. But some of them have gone so much sophisticated that they couch their request in emotion-laden vessels... Have you heard things like?

"Dear, I'm not fine!"
"Sweetheart, I'm really not happy!"
"Babe, I'm fed up with my life!"
"Honey, I think I am a failure!"

All these endearing words-prefixed statements might mislead a man to even think the lady is already dating you in her mind, and seeing you as the boyfriend. Don't fall for it. They are to invoke pity in you... Once their hooks are firmly inserted in your heart, they twist them and before you say Jack Orijin, you have become ATM.

You are very luck my brother, you seem to have ladies that come straight with their request for cash. Most of the ones I meet are those that weaponize emotions to turn you to their maga...

Rhaspody:
I simply say NO.

"Eyaa. NO"

I no be your papa

I have learnt the hard way not to give girls money so that they will like you.

Long story.

Simple “No I don’t have. Sorry.” Is that what you can’t say? Are you afraid of her?

If you toast woman like this, or even show the slightest interest in them, they somehow think they can share their financial problems with you. Why? So the fact that I chyked you is leverage?

Lending money to ladies is tricky. Some look responsible and serious but won’t pay back.

If you want to dash them. That’s good. Being generous is nice. But I believe these babes wouldn’t help if you really needed their help.

Guys, NO is not a difficult word to tell women.

pmoye:
My brother, I completely agree, NO would work when the ladies in question come out plainly. Guys are the ones that go straight to the point in making request... The ladies that do that are still newbies in the School of Entitlement. But some of them have gone so much sophisticated that they couch their request in emotion-laden vessels... Have you heard things like?

"Dear, I'm not fine!"
"Sweetheart, I'm really not happy!"
"Babe, I'm fed up with my life!"
"Honey, I think I am a failure!"

All these endearing words-prefixed statements might mislead a man to even think the lady is already dating you in her mind, and seeing you as the boyfriend. Don't fall for it. They are to invoke pity in you... Once their hooks are firmly inserted in your heart, they twist them and before you say Jack Orijin, you have become ATM.

You are very luck my brother, you seem to have ladies that come straight with their request for cash. Most of the ones I meet are those that weaponize emotions to turn you to their maga...

thats why I always reply them with ''eyaa''

In the old days in school, hanging out with some girl around lunch time.

Me: girl, are you hungry?
Girl: (trying to be coy) not really
Me: ok. Wait for me, I'm going to the canteen to eat. I'll meet you here when I'm done.
Girl: (surprised pikachu face)

2nd day
Me: gurl, are you hungry?
Girl: (remembering the previous day) yes oh. I am quite hungry
Me: ok, go to the canteen, I'll meet you here when you get back.


There are many ways to skin a cat.

Rhaspody:


thats why I always reply them with ''eyaa''

Wicked!!!!!!!!!! Pity someone's daughter now....

LewsTherin:
In the old days in school, hanging out with some girl around lunch time.

Me: girl, are you hungry?
Girl: (trying to be coy) not really
Me: ok. Wait for me, I'm going to the canteen to eat. I'll meet you here when I'm done.
Girl: (surprised pikachu face)

2nd day
Me: gurl, are you hungry?
Girl: (remembering the previous day) yes oh. I am quite hungry
Me: ok, go to the canteen, I'll meet you here when you get back.


There are many ways to skin a cat.

LewsTherin:
In the old days in school, hanging out with some girl around lunch time.

Me: girl, are you hungry?
Girl: (trying to be coy) not really
Me: ok. Wait for me, I'm going to the canteen to eat. I'll meet you here when I'm done.
Girl: (surprised pikachu face)

2nd day
Me: gurl, are you hungry?
Girl: (remembering the previous day) yes oh. I am quite hungry
Me: ok, go to the canteen, I'll meet you here when you get back.


There are many ways to skin a cat.

watin the babe do u personally ?.

you just they give the babe lamba make u fall her hand ...

Hahahahahah

LewsTherin:
In the old days in school, hanging out with some girl around lunch time.

Me: girl, are you hungry?
Girl: (trying to be coy) not really
Me: ok. Wait for me, I'm going to the canteen to eat. I'll meet you here when I'm done.
Girl: (surprised pikachu face)

2nd day
Me: gurl, are you hungry?
Girl: (remembering the previous day) yes oh. I am quite hungry
Me: ok, go to the canteen, I'll meet you here when you get back.


There are many ways to skin a cat.

LewsTherin:
In the old days in school, hanging out with some girl around lunch time.

Me: girl, are you hungry?
Girl: (trying to be coy) not really
Me: ok. Wait for me, I'm going to the canteen to eat. I'll meet you here when I'm done.
Girl: (surprised pikachu face)

2nd day
Me: gurl, are you hungry?
Girl: (remembering the previous day) yes oh. I am quite hungry
Me: ok, go to the canteen, I'll meet you here when you get back.


There are many ways to skin a cat.

Chai! This kain cruise ehn!

ZINIBANKS:
Girls before you ask a guy for money ask your fellow friends first their reaction will determine if or whether you can ask a guy or not
Thank you

u mean they should ask their fellow female friends?

Exactly

lefulefu:
u mean they should ask their fellow female friends?

ZINIBANKS:
Exactly

ok ooooo
its like u no sabi women again