Advice Needed - Romance - Nairaland
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Advice Needed! How Do I Help My Partner?? / How Do I Make Her Understand. Advice Needed / My wife Or her friend who should I consider 1st? pls matured advice needed (2) (3) (4)
| Advice Needed by ptaller(m): 6:58pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
Please my fellow Nairalanders I need your advice before making a decision. I started dating a virgin lady last year and ever since then things have really been good between us. I'm based in Lagos while she was doing her N Y S C in Delta state. The relationship was going fine and she was supposed to complete her N Y S C on 10th of February, but prior to the said date I noticed some changes in her behaviour. Like whenever I tried calling her irrespective the time of the day, her phone is always busy and whenever I ask whom she was talking to, she'll just tell me not to worry that it's just a fiend. It got so bad that I wasn't comfortable with it and start to suspect she was double dating. There was no way I could confirm that and she was beginning to change from her being caring to been careless about me. So I couldn't take it any longer, so I sent her a text that the best thing for us would be to pause the relationship and talk about it when she gets back to Lagos. That was on Saturday, on Sunday she called to confirm what I said and I said yes that we could talk about it when she returns. But to my surprise she came to Lagos on Wednesday and didn't even call me, I called her today only for her to tell me that she came back on Wednesday and the way she was talking she wasn't really interested in seeing me again, she was acting as if the Text message message I sent meant we should quit the relationship. My question is, should I explain the reason why I sent her such text or I should just allow her to be as if seems to me that she's found someone else. I strongly believe that the best way for a man or woman to break his or her own heart is by forcing yourself on somebody. You don't make someone your priority when you are their option. Do you think she is double dating? Please be gentle with me. Thanks and God bless. Abbey |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 7:18pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
The saga of a long distance relationship. Nor be small thing  You really wanna hear the honest truth? You both are not capable of handling a long distance relationship. Do not push things. On the other hand, you could call her and ask her why she refused to see you. In a relationship, one person have to come down for their friend you know  Two captains can not ride the same boat. |
| Re: Advice Needed by 190: 7:25pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
I keep saying it when a lady leaves for NYSC you have lost her, the ratio of women who scale through is 98:2 My 3 older friends all lost their Girlfriends last year to NYSC to abuja men despite they were already working at reputable places, yet that couldn't stop these ladies from sleeping with camp commandant's, fellow corpers and house of reps and senator's I saw everything myself, My only advice to any one out there is if your lady is going for nysc, Get some water,Wash your face and tell her Safe Journey if she return's untouched go to a church and do thanksgiving!!  Poster forget about her, she's gone see this link for more info, https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-30115.0.html |
| Re: Advice Needed by naijafrend: 7:28pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
She may be in another relationship or she may not be. You should have had a word with her before concluding anything. Any sane person in her shoes would have thought that you wanted to call it quits. Imagine, if she had been really talking to a friend and she gets your text , isn't it only natural to think that way? You should obviously meet up with the woman and explain your reasons for doing so. Btw, it was very childish to conclude that she could have been cheating on you just coz her phone was constantly busy ! |
| Re: Advice Needed by MMM2(m): 7:32pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
if u don fuc-ker her let her go, but if u have not done try fu-ck then discarge her. |
| Re: Advice Needed by 190: 7:34pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
naijafrend: why would her phone not get busy when shes receiving important calls from men Never trust a woman Its in the koran!! |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 7:48pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
Its a pity. Broda move on. U've lost her. |
| Re: Advice Needed by naijafrend: 7:54pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
190:  |
| Re: Advice Needed by Odunnu: 8:21pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
I guess we should blame MTN for introducing 'magic number' registration. I think thats what your gurl is enjoying that makes her line always bzy. It will save you emotional trauma if you meet and talk over/about it. No crime in fighting for what you want. |
| Re: Advice Needed by Ivynwa(f): 11:01pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
@Poster You've got a pretty head on your shoulder but some times assumptions lead one to wrong conclusions. Why don't you have a tete-a-tete with her so you two can decide for yourselves. 190: Nnaa, I didn't know you are such a good boy that you know your korans. . How do you do that and still get to socialize with us all in Nairaland, you are so versed Baby.  |
| Re: Advice Needed by livedit(f): 11:29pm On Feb 18, 2011 |
I'm almost inclined to agree with the others. The fact that her "behavior" changed so suddenly and you claimed that you no longer became a priority in her life raises some serious red flags. We can all assume maybe she has something going on in her personal life, school or social life as to why she distant herself from you. But what really draws some pertinent suspicion is the fact that she arrived earlier and didn't even tell you she was there. You can try calling her or meeting with her to explain to her how you feel about this whole situation to get this off your chest and find out her real feelings about you and her. But to me, I wouldn't advise going into this thinking anything will change or get better. Because to me, it seems she has made you apart of her past. When someone is important to you, you will find some kind of time to keep in touch with that person. Especially, if you are in a relationship together!  I would take what she said: not to worry, that she was talking to a "friend" with a grain of salt. Her actions are saying something totally different. I'm not saying you shouldn't try talking to her because it seems that you do care for her, but in my opinion, I think you may need to move on and chalk this up to a learning experience when engaged in a long distance relationship. But like I said, you never know. All we can do is assume what's going on in her head, it is YOU that need closure to find out what her deal is or if you just want to let sleeping dogs lie and move on with your life. |
| Re: Advice Needed by ptaller(m): 10:12am On Feb 19, 2011 |
Hey my fellow nairalanders. Thanks for the contributions, I really appreciate everything said and would try calling her, get to see and would keep you guys updated. Thanks all and stay blessed. Abbey |
| Re: Advice Needed by koolchicco: 10:48am On Feb 19, 2011 |
190:  Bhahahahahahahahaha. |
| Re: Advice Needed by Ladyjide(f): 11:02am On Feb 19, 2011 |
190: Now this is the funniest thing I read in a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Re: Advice Needed by Goldieluks: 11:04am On Feb 19, 2011 |
190: Pmsl. |
| Re: Advice Needed by Ivynwa(f): 1:44pm On Feb 19, 2011 |
Sometimes people are better off with directions so that they can make up their mind for themselves and not conclude from their assumptions. I have seen a young chap that concluded that his fiance was doing some wrong he was not sure of just because 3 or 4 nairalanders agreed with him, I have even seen one that jilted his gf just because a nairalander that knows the girl's family bad talked the gf's sister. |
| Re: Advice Needed by 190: 2:08pm On Feb 19, 2011 |
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| Re: Advice Needed by ZIMDRILL(m): 2:16pm On Feb 19, 2011 |
ptaller: whats this obsession with a girl being a virgin ? and most of the time her status got nothing nothing to do with the story being told why volunter information when not asked or it is pride to say you found one ? |
| Re: Advice Needed by ptaller(m): 5:55pm On Feb 19, 2011 |
ZIM DRILL:@Zim It's nothing special about her being a virgin and neither do I want people to know that I've found one. But I think it's right for people to get the true picture, so that they could know how to advice. Thanks all the same. M M M: @ M M M I've not slept with her, and to let you know; it's about fucking her, I've been a very bad boy and of late I decided to let go of all those bad ways and I've been trying to be one woman guy, coz I wouldn't want to fornicate when I get married which was why I really want to get it right before getting married. The reason why I came here was to have somebody to pour out my mind to. I'm a guy that doesn't discuss my relationship with a friend. I wouldn't want any friend or relatives to have any wrong impression about my woman. I appreciate all your replies Thanks Yall, Please keep it coming |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 7:05pm On Feb 19, 2011 |
ptaller: *sighs heavily at bold*, now i know why you gave us the virginity info, you have been a bad boy, found a virgin and now she is misbehaving, maybe its time to get the reward of being a bad boy, who knows? But seriously dont be so quick to act on assumption, as someone said earlier, it could be the ' MTN magic no" thing,(thats if she uses MTN). my best friend and i talk for hours cos we are not together and a number of calls wait during our conversation. She could be going through a lot of personal issues. who knows? She might have found someone else, who knows? Just find time to see her and talk,you ll definitely get an answer (directly or indirectly) goodluck  |
| Re: Advice Needed by livedit(f): 1:12am On Feb 21, 2011 |
Ivynwa: Livedit always encourage people to make their own decision when it comes to any dealance with their lives. I, for one do not let any one dictate to me what I should do about my life. As livedit will do what she feels is right for her. Any advice/opinions I give on these boards are just that. Opinions/advice. I'm assuming no one who comes to these boards will actually let a complete stranger(s) dictate how to run their lives. I welcome all comments and advice, but in the end, it is the person who has to make up their mind and make that choice. I'm a realist and don't believe in playing games with people's heart. I'm going to tell it like it is. I feel, if somebody is not feeling you anymore or what have you. Then tell me, why waste this persons time playing games. Life is too short as it is. And time is one thing you can not get back. I'm sure more has went on more than what the posters who comes to these boards. For we are outsiders looking in. I read the facts and then my comment is from what I personally interpret from what they posted. I could be wrong or misinterpret what the poster wrote that is why I always encourage people to pray because you can't ever go wrong with God for he knows all and knows what's best for his children. My apologies as livedit can not just only give advice. As she can't help but to voice her opinion(s) too!  |
| Re: Advice Needed by MrsChima(f): 1:53am On Feb 21, 2011 |
Well, let me be as blunt as possible swiftly. [size=22pt]She is not into you. You can do better. [/size] |
| Re: Advice Needed by Dsense(m): 3:41am On Feb 21, 2011 |
Op. CHIMA IS RIGHT |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 3:43am On Feb 21, 2011 |
190: It's amazing how some ppl can be so hypocritical. They 'this-grace' women but get mad when men are being called out. |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 6:19am On Feb 21, 2011 |
she came to lagos and didn't call you? A woman seriously inlove will wanna seriously know why her fiance is ''pausing'' just like that, sounds like she's not in a hurry to find out. My advise to you is ''Ignore her'' nt tellling you to like rush off the relationship,just telling you to ignore her |
| Re: Advice Needed by 190: 9:56am On Feb 21, 2011 |
^^ thats my jenny aka watery sperm shes 100% rite again |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 10:22am On Feb 21, 2011 |
i dnt like it wen a guy fails to understand a woman. They (females) are very active wen u mean alot to them. Since she don dey blank u,my guy do d same 2her, PERIOD!. If she really nids u,b4 she leaves delta 2 eko she for halla ur number. I nor sabi dull wit woman like dis oh, kai |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 10:41am On Feb 21, 2011 |
She may be seeing someone else, she may not be seeing anyone. she came into town and did not bother to call you? ladies hardly treat guys they are into so shabbily. Better you ignore her cos she is not into you. |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 11:54am On Feb 21, 2011 |
ptaller: Lol, so u know what Nairalanders are up to?  Anyway i'ld advice u to get her sat down, talk to her bout her upspringing attitude, ask her if she've got a new Man then ask her if she Stil Loves You. . . If she tells u that she stil loves u but have gotten a man, plz part wiv her n deal wiv your feelins but if she tells u that she haven't got a new man but doesn't feel your love anymore, plz try n get her seduced then plz Bleep her, she Certainly will re-ignite her love 4 u. If You aint satisfied with ma answer, plz poke me on F.b. . .i'ld deal wiv the pains! |
| Re: Advice Needed by obowunmi(m): 12:58pm On Feb 21, 2011 |
@OP -- how do you know she's a virgin ? |
| Re: Advice Needed by ninob1(f): 1:54pm On Feb 21, 2011 |
obowunmi: i know someone was gonna ask this qweshion |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 2:28pm On Feb 21, 2011 |
^ And i knew sumone was goin to follow up the Que |
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