When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past - Romance - Nairaland
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| When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by funloving(m): 10:21pm On Feb 01, 2006 |
Hi folks, If something happened in your past that is "not too nice" and you are now in a new relationship when will be the best time to tell your new partner about the past event ? First,second date ? Three months later ? or never ? If you say "never" give your reason(s) Remember telling or not telling could have positive or negative repercussions on the relationship and "the timing of your disclosure" matters alot in your relationship Heard something like this on radio and it really intrigued me because I believe some people could be in a situation similar to this |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by cheekee(f): 10:27pm On Feb 01, 2006 |
mmmmmmmmmmmmmhh!!!the sooner the better  it's good to get the past behind you and be free in your new direction...to break free you better say it as soon as possible to avoid any misunderstandingz!!!! |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by thupsie(m): 11:47am On Feb 13, 2006 |
I will surely tell her the past immediately, after i have passed on  you should know what i mean? |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by cheekee(f): 6:58pm On Feb 13, 2006 |
yap, thats the right thing to do, |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by Rhodalyn(f): 5:34pm On Feb 20, 2006 |
u tell him when u understand each other better but it shdnt be on a 1st date n it shdnt be 2ooo late u don't want 2 scare him away do u? |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by chrisd(m): 6:16pm On Mar 09, 2006 |
If it's not going to kill him, or have a kid hidden somewhere, I see no point. We are not expected to divulge everything about ourselves. |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by chrisd(m): 6:20pm On Mar 09, 2006 |
Normally when a woman begins to talk about her past I leave her immediately. Is like looking for grain of sugar in the bag of salt. Girls with miserable faces or they’re all sort of damaged you know what I mean like old fruits, like old peaches going bad, not fresh even the young ones, is that it, yes? You wouldn’t put your hand in a rotting bag of peaches, would you, no? 1 Like |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by papermoon(f): 2:59pm On Mar 11, 2006 |
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| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by mamaput(f): 3:43pm On Mar 11, 2006 |
If you want my future forget my past. I cant come closer to a man that wants to know . but then i say what i have to say at the start. (i may y it in a way that the guy is not too sure if am joking or not) |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by chinani(f): 2:53am On Mar 12, 2006 |
i think a person to talk about the past when they feel comfortable. DEFINITELY NOT the 1st or 2nd date. some people perfer not to talk about the past, but if it's important to that person then they should decide before hand. i mean, EVERYONE HAS A PAST, so why be ashamed? a few years ago i was watching a drama about a rich, fictitious family on TV. the daughter (heiress) was engaged. her father asked said to her, "think of the worst thing you can think of about your finance." the girl thought and said "OK" then the father said, "now, if it were true, would you still want him?" she said "yes" so the father said "well then you should get married to him." my point is that if you love someone then knowing that he/she used to be a stripper, or was raped, or accepted money for sex, or is a recovering drug addict isn't going to stop you. love may not be blind but it's kind of deaf & dumb at times. now, if you're just playing games, then make a quick exit. I'm the type of person who likes to know a person's past. but, to date, I've NEVER asked. i want a person to FEEL like sharing. perhaps one day i won't, perhaps, never. but, what is meant by "past"? does this mean sexual partners/Exes? or just life experiences? |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by rikkyjen(m): 4:36am On Mar 12, 2006 |
Tell him in the heat of love-making  |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by Shannon(f): 5:37am On Mar 12, 2006 |
I don't think there is a specific time table for revealing things about your past. I really find that it is more important to feel comfortable with the person than it is to worry about what you may or may not reveal. Plus, if he can't deal with you having some bad stuff in your past than he's not really worth it in my opinion. It comes as a package deal, your past is your past no matter what and you can't go back and change it no matter how much you want to. If he's actually serious about you than he will accept whatever has helped shape you in to who you are today. In reality that's all our past is, a series of events that made us who we are today. |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by chinani(f): 5:49am On Mar 12, 2006 |
Shannon: @ shannon well said! |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by Memunah(f): 11:37am On Sep 26, 2006 |
when the relationship is getting stronger before signing the dotted lines, |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by lovestinks(f): 5:56pm On Sep 27, 2006 |
the earlier the better, get obstacle off the way, |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by trendy(f): 12:35pm On Nov 20, 2006 |
i personally think that the best time, is from the begining! so he either accpet you for it or leave you for it! if he leaves you for telling him a secret from your past then he is not meant for you! |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by Eurphoria(f): 5:12am On Nov 21, 2006 |
A secret form the past? yeah we all got a few, the best time to tell partner? Never. What happened in the past stays in the past. I live by that. |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by Mystique(f): 2:37pm On Nov 21, 2006 |
Hmmmm, If you told him, then it would no longer be a secret would it  |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by Nobody: 7:49pm On Nov 22, 2006 |
[b] it is very dicey,it depends on type of person u are dealing with ,a male friend of mine seperated from his fiancee b/c she didnt disclose to him that she had a baby girl as a teenager,said if she can hide such a thing from him there might be more suprises ahead .In the other hand, u can scare some people away by telling them so carefully study him/her,ask him questions related to your problem and know his/her reaction and answers,or in a funny /joking way.if u did it and he/she leaves,then he/she is never meant to be yours.if the person realy loves u ,he/she will stay against all odds.[size=12pt] |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by Ameena(f): 2:44pm On Nov 23, 2006 |
MY DEAR, NEVER!!! wHY WUD I DO DAT. Except ofcourse, i forsee danger in future |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by anon101(f): 2:54pm On Nov 23, 2006 |
cannever tell my b./f about my past,,,,,i rather grow old with it not even at gun poing |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by khuna(f): 3:19pm On Nov 23, 2006 |
When you are sure that you understand him and he does understand you because a relationship without understanding is like a grain of sugar in a bag of salt |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by ThoniaSlim(f): 7:48pm On Nov 23, 2006 |
in the beginning |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by CrazyMan(m): 8:05pm On Nov 23, 2006 |
I think it's when you meet each other for the first time. |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by kkutecolo(f): 1:21pm On Nov 24, 2006 |
i dont agree wid u crazykid. first time, hell no! u tell him/her at the beginning wen u guys are used to each other's company. Shannon: well put shannon,i totally agreee |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by harvey(m): 5:21pm On Nov 24, 2006 |
when u know u have gained her trust. |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by MP007(m): 7:05pm On Jul 30, 2007 |
from experience, plz dont tell it all, dont! |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by damkollins(m): 10:22am On Jul 31, 2007 |
It depends on the relationship you found yourself.Some people think it should be when you have gain the trust of your partner but you just have to understand the kind of relationship you are and the type of past you are sharing.How do you tell a girl that her Elder sister is your Ex? For me,my past was know to my partner at the beginning of our relationship likewise hers also.believe it or not,It has save us a lot in the relationship coz she knows me already.I remembered a time i even called my ex on phone and connected my partner (on conference) so she could hear our discussion without my Ex knowing it! This may not be possible in other relationships so it's about studying the relationship to know what to do. |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by iice(f): 11:28am On Jul 31, 2007 |
damkollins: Word! Not all relationships can sustain skeletons |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by Macutie(f): 11:50am On Jul 31, 2007 |
If its something that would affect her, its better u say it soon cos if u say it later she wont appreciate it. But if it has to do with you and how u lived ur life bla bla bla, you first have to gain her trust then when u are sure she wont fret u can tell her! Cos then u'l just hold each other cry and she'l probably tell u everything would be fine! Be good man |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by mishoo(m): 12:15pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
Macutie: My mind Exactly !! You just took it out of my hand !! |
| Re: When Is The Best Time To Tell A New Partner A Secret From Your Past by Macutie(f): 12:47pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
Glad 2 be of assistance. |
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