NeoWanZaeed:




when you get married.. do your family matters like that ehn..

you would hear am..

..
besides, you think this is bf and gf matter? you are not qualified for this discussion

Ok Sir. But me I reject it in Jesus name. I won't face such in my marriage.


Shalom.

mariahAngel:

when you have issues with your husband..
dey claim I am right..
your father's house is calling be that

Brachaa:


Ok Sir. But me I reject it in jesus name. I won't face such in my marriage.

Shalom.

laughing..
it's bound to happen..it would happen..
every marriage faces issues.

NeoWanZaeed:



laughing..

it's bound to happen..it would happen..

every marriage faces issues.

I reject it!

"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". Bound to happen to you but not I, the daughter of Zion.

Case closed.

Brachaa:


I reject it!

"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". Bound to happen to you but not I, the daughter of Zion.

Case closed.

laughing. .

I hear you..

your pastor wey teach you that bible verse.

go ask him what he's facing in his marriage with your mummy G.O. or ask your mummy G.O

NeoWanZaeed:


they should help talk to him on your behalf. . at least.. they should be able to calm him down.


it's a very beautiful thing you do not have any friend..

would make everything in your marriage works fine...


friends are 99% cause of broken homes

I'm not worried about him not been calm right now or not. I want to stop this from repeating itself

Darkandbrown:

I'm not worried about him not been calm right now or not. I want to stop this from repeating itself

then solving this issue is the only way to stop this from repeating itself.

you discuss with him when he comes... that's how to stop it from repeating itself

NeoWanZaeed:



then solving this issue is the only way to stop this from repeating itself.

you discuss with him when he comes... that's how to stop it from repeating itself

Thank you for taking time to respond. I appreciate

Darkandbrown:
Thank you for taking time to respond. I appreciate

you are welcome..

Darkandbrown:
Away from home for 7months now because of covid 19. Just when I thought airports are opened I can now go home, hubby said I should give him 3 months to gather funds for a better apartment. What can I say as visa issuance is even on hold sef.
To the reason for this post,
Oga usually hangs out with his friends once in a week and gets home late, we had issue about it when I was there. And since I travelled he still continues such and when he is out he would not take my calls, my messages wont get delivered then he gets home about midnight( I know cos immediately he steps in he gets the mesages). The next day we would have issue cos obviously I was pissed my this.
Last night he did samething, we last spoke when he was at work, he responded to my messages this morning at work then he called me ( I.e he slept out). I was calm cos I didnt want to talk or react in a bad way. I asked why he didnt take my calls, oga claimed he didnt see the calls, I asked why he didnt receive my chat either and he said wifi in the house stopped working, the usual none challant respond and the obvious lie got me pissed and I told him I had to get to what I was doing and I would talk to him later. He kept insisting on the lie. I angrily said oga park well, I know what is going on and that I wasnt stupid. He ended the call, after a few minutes I was calm and thought I should call back but since then he has refused taking my calls.

You don't need anyone to tell you that your Oga has something to hide.
How could a person ask his own wife to stay back!
Do you have the key to your apartment?
Travel home, tell your hubby once you are on the way, on your arrival, get a hotel room first, then go straight home.
You are not a child.
Stop this childishness!
Don't do this if you depend on him financially!

Saintmary:

You don't need anyone to tell you that your Oga has something to hide.
How could a person ask his own wife to stay back!
Do you have the key to your apartment?
Travel home, tell your hubby once you are on the way, on your arrival, get a hotel room first, then go straight home.
You are not a child.
Stop this childishness!
Don't do this if you depend on him financially!

I need a new visa to go back.

Darkandbrown:
Away from home for 7months now because of covid 19. Just when I thought airports are opened I can now go home, hubby said I should give him 3 months to gather funds for a better apartment. What can I say as visa issuance is even on hold sef.
To the reason for this post,
Oga usually hangs out with his friends once in a week and gets home late, we had issue about it when I was there. And since I travelled he still continues such and when he is out he would not take my calls, my messages wont get delivered then he gets home about midnight( I know cos immediately he steps in he gets the mesages). The next day we would have issue cos obviously I was pissed my this.
Last night he did samething, we last spoke when he was at work, he responded to my messages this morning at work then he called me ( I.e he slept out). I was calm cos I didnt want to talk or react in a bad way. I asked why he didnt take my calls, oga claimed he didnt see the calls, I asked why he didnt receive my chat either and he said wifi in the house stopped working, the usual none challant respond and the obvious lie got me pissed and I told him I had to get to what I was doing and I would talk to him later. He kept insisting on the lie. I angrily said oga park well, I know what is going on and that I wasnt stupid. He ended the call, after a few minutes I was calm and thought I should call back but since then he has refused taking my calls.

1. Your husband has boys' night out once a week: there is nothing wrong in that, and if coming home VERY late is your concern, address that. Although hang outs within the week means coming home very late. Hangout is after work.

2. I don't understand the drama of your husband going incommunicado when he is hanging out with his friends. Were you fond of calling him continuously to ask where he is? Even if yes, he ought to give periodic updates like 'we just left the bar, I am on 3rd Mainland, I just passed Lekki Toll gate' bla bla. Radio silence and him resurfacing afterwards doesn't cut it.

3. Why is your husband changing apartments? What's wrong with the old one? If all is well, shouldn't he be more concerned seeing you than changing apartments you already know?

4. You need to know how to engage your husband in a way you don't become the offender since he is manipulative. Or you could apologize for the way you made him feel (not your actions) and continue on your point till you get satisfactory answers.

I think you should storm Nigeria as soon as you get a visa.

Prepare your mind for any eventualitu, your husband doesn't seem vested in your marriage and happily living single. Your absence is also a convenience for him to do whatever he is doing.

That 'whatever' is what you have to look for.

Goodluck.

Brachaa:



Ok Sir. But me I reject it in Jesus name. I won't face such in my marriage.


Shalom.

Amen.

NeoWanZaeed:



laughing..

it's bound to happen..it would happen..

every marriage faces issues.

Just like life, marriages would have challenges which is different from discomfort borne our of someone's misdeeds.

'Nigerian' marriage issues are different sha.

Brachaa:


I reject it!

"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". Bound to happen to you but not I, the daughter of Zion.

Case closed.

I join you in prayers.

Amen.

bukatyne:


Just like life, marriages would have challenges which is different from discomfort borne our of someone's misdeeds.

'Nigerian' marriage issues are different sha.

lol... e no different.. na so e dey everywhere in the world o

bukatyne:


Amen.

bukatyne:


I join you in prayers.

Amen.

Thanks dearie for the corporate agreement.

God bless you.

Darkandbrown:

Sad reality.

Did he keep late nights before marriage? If yes, don't expect him to change now. However, you can suggest other stress-relieving methods rather than taking away his only source of relaxation.

bukatyne:


1. Your husband has boys' night out once a week: there is nothing wrong in that, and if coming home VERY late is your concern, address that. Although hang outs within the week means coming home very late. Hangout is after work.

2. I don't understand the drama of your husband going incommunicado when he is hanging out with his friends. Were you fond of calling him continuously to ask where he is? Even if yes, he ought to give periodic updates like 'we just left the bar, I am on 3rd Mainland, I just passed Lekki Toll gate' bla bla. Radio silence and him resurfacing afterwards doesn't cut it.

3. Why is your husband changing apartments? What's wrong with the old one? If all is well, shouldn't he be more concerned seeing you than changing apartments you already know?

4. You need to know how to engage your husband in a way you don't become the offender since he is manipulative. Or you could apologize for the way you made him feel (not your actions) and continue on your point till you get satisfactory answers.

I think you should storm Nigeria as soon as you get a visa.

[s]Prepare your mind for any eventualitu, your husband doesn't seem vested in your marriage and happily living single. Your absence is also a convenience for him to do whatever he is doing[/s]

That 'whatever' is what you have to look for.

Goodluck.

You don't need to put negative thoughts in her head. The man has always been a nightcrawler even while with her. Moreover, the moving thing isn't a biggy, it's understandable. It's not nice to put thoughts in her head.

Nooil:


Did he keep late nights before marriage? If yes, don't expect him to change now. However, you can suggest other stress-relieving methods rather than taking away his only source of relaxation.

I didnt notice such as it was a long distance relationship. Although I dont have a problem with is outing as long as he returns home before midnight.

Darkandbrown:

I didnt notice such as it was a long distance relationship. Although I dont have a problem with is outing as long as he returns home before midnight.

Do you have children yet?

Nooil:


You don't need to put negative thoughts in her head. The man has always been a nightcrawler even while with her. Moreover, the moving thing isn't a biggy, it's understandable. It's not nice to put thoughts in her head.

I am not putting thoughts in her head, I try not to do that when commenting if there is no cause for it.

I summarized what her husband's different actions in her post translate to.

Hang out with the boys is not bad; going incommunicado when hanging out can be addressed, him wanting to remodel the house/get a bigger place is commendable, Not reaching out to her can also be addressed.

Doing everything at the same time?

bukatyne:


I am not putting thoughts in her head, I try not to do that when commenting if there is no cause for it.

I summarized what her husband's different actions in her post translate to.

Hang out with the boys is not bad; going incommunicado when hanging out can be addressed, him wanting to remodel the house/get a bigger place is commendable, Not reaching out to her can also be addressed.

Doing everything at the same time?

Op is acting like his mother and too controlling. Local man is fed up and doesn't care anymore. In his mind, he is like let this woman carry her wahala and go. I'm done explaining

My advice to op is to stop giving him close marking. These are things parents do that even annoy their children.

He is not a child. He is an adult with a conscience who knows the consequences of his actions. Let him be for two weeks and watch his attitude.

It's not like he wasn't going out when she was around him. He has nothing to hide except there is something op isn't telling us.

Darkandbrown:

I need a new visa to go back.

Do you need permission to get a new visa?
You mean to go back abroad?
I don't get.

You know what's up but you don't want to say it out.
You know what your real worry is
Good luck ma.

mariahAngel:


Trust your intuition.
He's using reverse psychology on you.
Stand your ground until you both talk about and resolve the issue(s).

confirm he is guilty of something.

Karleb:
What is wrong with an adult keeping late nights?

You guys would want to turn an adult into a baby.

How late is "too late" in your own understanding?

oseoji:
You know what's up but you don't want to say it out.
You know what your real worry is
Good luck ma.

Thank you!!! Thread close.

Except you suspect or think he is cheating on you, I see nothing wrong in him hanging out once a week.

And I think you are more worried about what he does while he is out that makes him incommunicado. You think he is unfaithful, there lies the main gist. Just find a way to get home as soon as you can and hash things out

Nooil:



Do you have children yet?

No

Darkandbrown:

No

I'm sorry, I just realized I shouldn't ask that question. Thank you for even bothering to answer. But please, try and give you husband space. He has already figured out you keep calling at that hour to monitor him. And he is pissed, perhaps the reason why he refused to pick your calls.

Just let him be for some weeks. Some women's husband will not only come back at midnight, they will come back home drunk and beat the living day out of her.

Yes, you should be worried that your husband is staying out at midnight. But one, he does it once a week, it's not like it's a daily occurrence. Two, he is out with friends, people you probably know before getting married to him. Three, he comes home every night, save for that one time he didn't (so you assumed). There is a possibility the wifi story is true.

Try and get busy, so he is not all you occupy your mind with. He is probably seeing you as a nagging woman and it's beginning to irritate him.

If you want him to give up his weekly pleasures, you can as well suggest another activity for him. If you have the money, do him the pleasure of registering him to a golf club or something. Don't just tell him to do something and you're not providing an alternative.

Moreover, let him be a man. Stop babysitting him. It's these things women do to emasculate a man. Small time, estrogen will full his body, he will start developing big stomach and breast, his d**k will become smaller and his prostate will start enlarging. He will now find it difficult to go out and hustle for the family. Don't emasculate him.

If hanging out with his friends will give him his weekly testosterone boost, allow him. If you're scared of midnight issues, find a reasonable manly alternative rather than becoming a nagging wife.

Also, find happiness in yourself. I mean, your husband should be the one worried that his beautiful wife is all by herself!

Practise self-love. Take care of your health, take more cloves to calm your nerves and prenatal vitamins. Don't disturb your fragile heart with thoughts of your husband cheating. You deserve happiness not negative thoughts.

Nooil:


I'm sorry, I just realized I shouldn't ask that question. Thank you for even bothering to answer. But please, try and give you husband space. He has already figured out you keep calling at that hour to monitor him. And he is pissed, perhaps the reason why he refused to pick your calls.

Just let him be for some weeks. Some women's husband will not only come back at midnight, they will come back home drunk and beat the living day out of her.

Yes, you should be worried that your husband is staying out at midnight. But one, he does it once a week, it's not like it's a daily occurrence. Two, he is out with friends, people you probably know before getting married to him. Three, he comes home every night, save for that one time he didn't (so you assumed). There is a possibility the wifi story is true.

Try and get busy, so he is not all you occupy your mind with. He is probably seeing you as a nagging woman and it's beginning to irritate him.

If you want him to give up his weekly pleasures, you can as well suggest another activity for him. If you have the money, do him the pleasure of registering him to a golf club or something. Don't just tell him to do something and you're not providing an alternative.

Moreover, let him be a man. Stop babysitting him. It's these things women do to emasculate a man. Small time, estrogen will full his body, he will start developing big stomach and breast, his d**k will become smaller and his prostate will start enlarging. He will now find it difficult to go out and hustle for the family. Don't emasculate him.

If hanging out with his friends will give him his weekly testosterone boost, allow him. If you're scared of midnight issues, find a reasonable manly alternative rather than becoming a nagging wife.

Also, find happiness in yourself. Practise self-love. Take care of your health, take more cloves to calm your nerves and prenatal vitamins. Don't disturb your fragile heart with thoughts of your husband cheating. You deserve happiness not negative thoughts.

He does return home drunk after these outings and doesn't realise what he does afterwards.
He might get back and dose off on the couch, one time he came back like that and almost raped me, I ran to the bathroom as that was the only place I could lock. I slept on the bathroom floor that night. By morning when his eyes are clear he would start begging.
Sincerely I didn't see this while we were dating else I wouldn't go further. I'm not trying to control him, I just wish he would do better.

Thanks for your advice, I will do just as you said. Sorry I had to type all this, I just had to let it out.