Need Advice With My Nigerian Man - Romance - Nairaland
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| Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by JamRock88(f): 1:39am On Mar 05, 2011 |
I'm in need of help. I'm 22 born and raised in america and my boyfriend of only a couple months (like 7) is Nigerian (Igbo) he was born in georgia but goes back to Nigeria often. I'm having problems giving him all of my trust. When we first met I could see that he had an eye for women, he was always flirty and very attentive to a lot of the girls he met when I would invite him to different socials and gatherings. But when we were together he would show much affection and proved to me, to be very in-tune to learning more about what I like. He recently went and got out of jail and started living with me. For the first few months things were great but I started to get suspicious that he was trying to know other women, now before we started spending so much time together (and living together) this didn't phase me much, but now it seems that it bothers me a lot more. I've become insecure, irrational, and erratic. I know he doesn't like this but I can't for the life of me figure out where or why this behavior has come about. He's told me that he loves me and I do believe him but I don't know how to stop this behavior and I fear that if I don't he'll leave me, and this is something I don't want because I have come to know and love just about everything about this man. He's expressed to me several times that this would make him want to leave and right now we are 'taking a break' to give each other space and I fear that this is just leading to us breaking up. What should I do if there's anything I can do at this point to keep him? And what can I do myself to reassure myself that he can be trusted? I pray for both of us everyday, I want to be with this man and its killing me just to be away from him right now but I feel that this time apart will be better for us. Nairaland what should I do? |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 1:44am On Mar 05, 2011 |
Jam_Rock88 are you Jamaican? anyway. . .based on he way he acts he seems immature and no ready to commit. He may have feelings for you but I don't think he is ready to let go of some of his bad habits and ways. You two need some 'heart to heart' conversations and compromising. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by MrsChima1(f): 1:49am On Mar 05, 2011 |
Additional to what my sis said you have to understand that not all men that enters relationship are ready to deal with the nitty gritty of relationship if you get my drift. Those type of boys like to have their cake and eat it too. So basically what you are at this moment is a gas station and not a higher institution. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by JamRock88(f): 1:51am On Mar 05, 2011 |
Yes I am Jamaican, lol. Thank you for the advice ladies! |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by MrsChima1(f): 1:56am On Mar 05, 2011 |
Ahhhhh damn! My sis found her native! glitty glatty! |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 2:35am On Mar 05, 2011 |
@op you sound more like a Christian hmm  , so pray over it and follow your heart. But Igbo's are good people and very creative and hardworking. Is your life so make the wise decision and Goodluck |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by MrsChima1(f): 2:38am On Mar 05, 2011 |
Poster, He is jehovah Witness so he knows. I saw him knocking on my window holding a five months old Watch Tower publication. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 3:23am On Mar 05, 2011 |
Mrs, Chima: Has tenido relaciones sexuales hoy en día? Yo no lo creo porque el sonido caliente |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by MrsChima1(f): 7:35am On Mar 05, 2011 |
Por que estas estrometida? |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 8:12am On Mar 05, 2011 |
 |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by obowunmi(m): 9:13am On Mar 05, 2011 |
@OP: ure dating a jailbird and ex-prisoner ? --- goodluck! |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Blazay(m): 10:53am On Mar 05, 2011 |
There we go again.  Me sef taya for these American women sha. Are their own men so baaaaad that they have to date 'foreigners'? I would do no such thing. They dun even know 'ow' to phock too good. So, what exactly is the attraction? An Igbo one for that matter?  Poor taste! I pray for both of us everyday, I want to be with this man and its killing me just to be away from him right now but I feel that this time apart will be better for us. Nairaland what should I do? See as woman go take her own hand cuss herself and her unborn children?  Wharra pre-occupation at ONLY 22 years old. Fasting and praying to be with one 'lowlife' of a dude on the cyber airways. Efen if na h-in[b] h[/b]-invent "FaceBook"?  E come become one ye-ye, 'Okoro' wan(not even an Yoruba wan, wey sabi book like Becomrichn? witi fine-fine map! ) way nor get work and dey sleep for jail as 'naturalized citizen'? Tenk God for old age. Jam_Rock88: Sorry, you are not a Jamaican. You were born and raised in the US. Jamaicans are not this 'slow'. You parents are Jamaicans not you.  Unless the world is coming to an end. . .I have never met a 're-tarded' Jamaican. Even the ones born and bred in the UK. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by deniyor: 11:24am On Mar 05, 2011 |
^^^^ |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 1:33pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
Blazay: Um, I too was born in the U.S. but to both Jamaican (mom) and American (dad) parentage, and I'd be damned if someone tell my patois speaking, rice and peas/ salt mackrel and boiled banana cooking, bad temper having self that I am not Jamaican. Leave her alone. Jamaicans love us JaMericans. Why the need for the insults in the first place? Jam_Rock88, (yuh kno seh) SHOULD you stay on here ^^^ fuckry like that is what you should expect. BTW you kno fi chat patois? (can you speak patois?)  As for what Chima told you, she is spot on! No disrespect but some times men behave like boys (cough: Blazay ) and if they are not ready as I said, they will act like it. Just talk to him.  btw I am noticing a trend of Jamo chick dating African men. Is it just me? My cousin just had a baby girl with a Ghanaian and two of my friends are dating Nigerian Americans.  and they are just a few exs.lmao@ Chima. Girl I have both sides on here Jamaican and American |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 1:42pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
i must say i do wonder why nigerian women arent as into non-nigerian dating as nigerian men. yoruba women in particular. the ratio is so low. it's like for every nigerian woman who dates a non-naija male, there are at least 50 nigerian men with non-naija females. going by ethnicity, for every yoruba woman in a relationship with a non-yoruba, there will be at least 60 yoruba males dating non-yoruba females. very strange fact and i was thinking about this the other day and wondering why it was so. why dont they tend to find males of other nationalities and ethnicities attractive enough to marry? just my opinion btw. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by xxTosinvillexx: 3:18pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
^^Yoruba women loves their men so much, hardly before you can see them married to some other tribes not to talk of race/nationalities lol |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by MrsChima1(f): 3:58pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
xxTosinvillexx: It all about how they were raised. They were raised to be with Nigerian men and continue the lineage. However, Nigerian men are branching out and tasting other "meat" dishes. It boils down to this: Nigerian men will do what they want to do and Nigerian women will do what they want. Simple as that. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 4:08pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
@Chima, right on! I was going to explain but nah. I'm not in the mood for "don't refer to me. . .you're Jamo'' Tpiah bull. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by MrsChima1(f): 4:13pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
I see JEALOUSY flaring amok thieves. If Igbo men are such low class or a "bad taste" as one stated then Yorubas men are whoremongers. They are some of the biggest whores I ever seen and do not have shit on ashawos. IF we are going to list everything we feel "wrong" with a tribe then be honest about the shit your tribe do and other tribes. Last time I checked all of yall bleeped up. One more thing, a poster said that why are American women running behind Nigerian men? A huge percentage of American women that ARE BLACK do NOT run behind Nigerian nor AFrican men. If a black woman was to leave her "brother", she will go to an OYINBO man before she would any other race including African men. Majority of the American women that are married or dating African men are OYINBO. The hype in the OYINBO community is that AFRICAN MEN ARE ENDOWED and exotic for the reasons why they are most likely to accept illegals and refugees. NOT ALL AMERICAN WOMEN are into illegals and refugees. SOME OF US actually check for that GREEN CARD or SOCIAL SECURITY card. Now the IGBO that the OP is dating or running behind could be Nigerian American. Not all Africans are American citizens through marriage scams, lottery visas, and refugee statuses. Lack of knowledge is against the law. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 4:14pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
Mrs, Chima: *cough cough* CHIMA I AM ''NO' MO GOOD'' you have killed me with this whole reply!!!!!! |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by MrsChima1(f): 4:17pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
Ms. Dark, They ain'r ready. I got a feeling "that post" will be deleted. Not surprised. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 9:27pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
Mrs, Chima: lol im surprised you haven't been attacked yet sis |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by MrsChima1(f): 9:30pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
The truth is disabling them. Give it time. They are on the way to the battlefield. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 11:20pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
xxTosinvillexx: really strange. it's not necessarily because they love their men so much, imo. i'm wondering if it dates back to the yoruba civil wars when the number of men was most likely decimated and at an all-time low. be that as it may, about maybe 90% of the time, a yoruba woman's first choice of partner would be a yoruba man. i'm trying to see which other cultures have something similar. do they not like variety or what. Mrs, Chima: they arent necessarily raised to be with nigerian men, otherwise the same would apply to the naija men themselves. it's just something i find interesting and this may likely change in the future anyway, since more nigerian men are becoming permanently diasporan. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by MrsChima1(f): 11:32pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
tpiah!: We both know that how Nigerian women are raised is COMPLETELY different than how Nigerian men are raised. When I was vacationing in Nigeria and invited to one of my friend's party. A Ghanian man and a Nigerian man was having a "discussion" and it was heated. They were discussing the "theory" concerning women and how they are raised. Mind you the men that were supporting the Nigerian man surprised me because I have always said that just because one person express this way doesn't mean that all feel the same way. The Nigerian man said that boys are place above the MOTHER in the family and are held in such reverend position. I was like the hell? You should have seen my face and I wanted to say something but Mr. Chima had me on lock down. The Ghanian man was like the woman is respected in Ghana and I believed him because when I was in Ghana if a man so much disrespect a woman the men will "rush" the man. However, I can't say the same for Nigeria. It has a lot to do with how one are raised and women are taught to be loyal regardless even a Nigerian woman told me when I asked her why do you guys put up with the bullshit. She responded saying that is how it is. She did mentioned that when a man divorce a woman that she is left with nothing. I then knew why majority of the women put up with the arseholes. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Nobody: 11:45pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
^^you do have some points. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by obowunmi(m): 11:59pm On Mar 05, 2011 |
See how Blazay finish am finish. |
| Re: Need Advice With My Nigerian Man by Melahou(m): 4:29pm On Mar 08, 2011 |
dat man is not ur man, he does respect or deserve u. u shd not kill urself over him. |
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