NO LOVE IN MY HOME (Advice pls)

My name is precious( wrong name). Opened this acct to go strictly anonymous. All kinda comments are accepted, good or bad. All I need is great advice pls. This is gonna be a little long story but pls bear with me.

I was born and raised in port Harcourt but moved down to Kano 2013. My dad is never home 'cause he works in the USA. So, believe me when I say I hardly know my dad. Comes home once a year sometimes once in 2 years. So, it's been just my mom all along. He's the very protective type not minding the fact he's never home. Especially since I'm his only daughter. Thing is I've never had my freedom, always indoors 24/7. Childhood memories are also boring asf, just the ones from school that's all.
Being in the USA, my dad is the type that loves to flex and chill a lot. Gets me nice clothes and all that. When we moved to Kano, he decided to open a clothing business for my mom with the capital of 4M. He agreed and had it done.

Along the way, they began to have issues 'cause my dad kept claiming he's the owner of the shop and wants all sales made to go to his own acct. My mum disagreed 'cause she was like even a sales girl gets her own salary. The agreement they made was that she's gonna send the money from whatever sales to his account while he pays her monthly for looking after the shop and selling the materials. Not minding the fact she's his wife o. They ran that way for months till my dad stopped paying her. She complained about it 'cause this man doesn't give her own personal allowance even as his wife. The shop was closed down for months.

He finally came back to Nigeria, my mom got pregnant but lost the baby to miscarriage. Just a month after, my dad married another wife. Even me as his daughter kept pleading on whatever issues they have and to resolve it but no. It was as if he was under voodoo. My dad is 50 and the lady he married is just 23.His first son is 25,imagine.

I asked my dad why he did all that but he told me was that my mom is proving stubborn. Fine, so thing is his family were super happy he got married to another 'cause he finally married their tribe. The young lady he married is igbo and my mom is Hausa. There's no single person from my dad's who likes my mom plainly because she's a muslim and not their tribe. We're Christians

In just one week of marriage, he already gave the new wife a car and also opened a shop for her. All this while, he stopped eating my mom's food. Claimed she should only prepare food for us her kids. And so it was
He travelled again after spending a good whole year at home with us (for the very first time) to stay with his new wife. When he got married to my mom,he got her pregnant and left the following month. So, he never stayed with my mom. But when he got married to this one, he stayed with her for a year.
He left again before the lock down while his new wife was pregnant. Before then, he was closed to divorcing my mom. That's just like some months after he got married to his new wife. My mum stood her ground that she's going no where so, my dad and one of his brothers went all the way to Jos to go talk to her parents. By the special grace of God, they didn't get divorced.

He travelled leaving my mom with no cash and no business. He never calls us, even we the kids. My mum collected goods on credit and is even currently planing to take a loan just so, she could feed her 4 kids. The other wife's business also fell. She finally gave birth to a baby girl and also always kept complaining that my dad never calls her. My mum would only laugh and tell her that's the way he is. The new wife would go to her parent's place to ask for cash sometimes be in tears and be like what kinda marriage is this? My dad only called my mom once ever since he left early this year just to inform her that his new wife had given birth and that was it. Today is October 10th,my dad never called my mom nor we the kids. He called once on sallah day ranting and asking why we the kids never called him. Someone that doesn't send us cash, abeg how are we gonna get money for airtime and all that. With the little money I could get, I'd always send a vn via WhatsApp to always check on my dad but he never replies but reads the msg. I stopped checking on him.

The new wife keeps complaining on how she's gonna live with her lil baby and still calls her bf secretly saying she's fed up with the marriage and would like to see his face. She claims the marriage was all a rush and never knew all that glitters wasn't gold.

We always have light issues 'cause we use a prepaid meter and we always gotta recharge. Since my dad doesn't send money home no one wants to buy including one of my eldest cousin who my dad asked to begin to stay with us as a watch on the house ever since he got married to his new wife 'cause then, both my mom and the new wife always beefed each other. But they all good now
So, once a while it's gonna be this my elder cousin to buy the Nepa bills. Though, my mom was buying ever since my dad travelled not minding that she wasn't receiving money. She was also feeding this 21 yr old cousin of mine all through but stopped when things got really hard.

We had water issues since we had no light. So, we went to the next compound to fetch water, immediately that night my dad called and had someone give us 36k to keep for the light bills just so he could save his name outside. My younger sister stopped school recently and attend a home library Islamic school which one of my uncle's own. Since it's family related, it's gonna be easy for her to sort.

I've cried to my dad, kissed him a mil times, told him how much I love him but no, he listens to no one.He just neglects us, I'm so fed up and feel for my mum every day. What do I do to bring back love to my family as a their child? I need advice pls

@mynd44
@lefulefu29
@airforce1
@iLegendd27
@lalasticlala
@Righteousness89
@Dominique
@Ishilove
@zzor
@virginprincess
@petyprincess
@nwaAmaikpe

Fuji house of commotion
I will contribute when am fully awake.
Have been in this type of scenario, even worse so I can feel your pain..
Will let you know how you guys can liberate yourself.
Atleast your father didn't use your name for his business while owing hundreds of people and the curse, the swear,the bondage those owed did was telling on you cos they believed he used his name for business and believed the curses and all will affect him not knowing they are channeling to a wrong person...

My sister, things are happening in the world that are beyond ordinary..

A day is coming I will share my family story with nairaland and I won't hold back anything.
WE FIRST BORN FIGHT ALOT OF BATTLE IN LIFE..

If your old enough.....totally forget him..get a job.nomata how little. And u guyz start a life without him...did you guyz inform your dad about your younger sis Islamic school enrollment..?

Another trouble loading. trust me,he will frown vehemently at it!. With the way Islam is heading image wise, its hard for a Christian man to tolerate his daughter into the religion.

But in all, get a job ,support ur mom for a biz,that way u will make headway

I dont see ur dad changing any time soon.Best thing to do is to help your mum start a small business so she could support her children n act as if ur dad never existed. Suprise ur dad by doing something to ur self either by learning a skill,going to school etc.Believe me he will realize his mistakes one day but might be too late for him.Stop asking him for money n trying to make peace ,go make a name for urself.Its going to be very tough but u can do it.

preciousjewel01.. U r seeking for advice and u tagged airforce1 and ilegend..

No wonder your dad married a lady of 23 years...

Don't tell me u secretly admire airforce1 and ilegend... Seems u might end up like ur dad 2nd wife who taught all that glitters is gold..

U didn't see better people to mention like Dominique, Ishilove, imalma1, Pocohantas, gboyegaD, UDUJ...

Or even try mention these one, atleast their head still correct small (Amatarasha, fati2001, Zzor, denique, virginprincess and their fellow noise makers ?)


I see you ending like ur Father 2nd wife if u think airforce1, ilegend will give u a better advice

[quote author=Preciousjewel01 post=94786736]NO LOVE IN MY HOME (Advice pls)

My name is precious( wrong name). Opened this acct to go strictly anonymous. All kinda comments are accepted, good or bad. All I need is great advice pls. This is gonna be a little long story but pls bear with me.

I was born and raised in port Harcourt but moved down to Kano 2013. My dad is never home 'cause he works in the USA. So, believe me when I say I hardly know my dad. Comes home once a year sometimes once in 2 years. So, it's been just my mom all along. He's the very protective type not minding the fact he's never home. Especially since I'm his only daughter. Thing is I've never had my freedom, always indoors 24/7. Childhood memories are also boring asf, just the ones from school that's all.
Being in the USA, my dad is the type that loves to flex and chill a lot. Gets me nice clothes and all that. When we moved to Kano, he decided to open a clothing business for my mom with the capital of 4M. He agreed and had it done.

Along the way, they began to have issues 'cause my dad kept claiming he's the owner of the shop and wants all sales made to go to his own acct. My mum disagreed 'cause she was like even a sales girl gets her own salary. The agreement they made was that she's gonna send the money from whatever sales to his account while he pays her monthly for looking after the shop and selling the materials. Not minding the fact she's his wife o. They ran that way for months till my dad stopped paying her. She complained about it 'cause this man doesn't give her own personal allowance even as his wife. The shop was closed down for months.

He finally came back to Nigeria, my mom got pregnant but lost the baby to miscarriage. Just a month after, my dad married another wife. Even me as his daughter kept pleading on whatever issues they have and to resolve it but no. It was as if he was under voodoo. My dad is 50 and the lady he married is just 23.His first son is 25,imagine.

I asked my dad why he did all that but he told me was that my mom is proving stubborn. Fine, so thing is his family were super happy he got married to another 'cause he finally married their tribe. The young lady he married is igbo and my mom is Hausa. There's no single person from my dad's who likes my mom plainly because she's a muslim and not their tribe. We're Christians

In just one week of marriage, he already gave the new wife a car and also opened a shop for her. All this while, he stopped eating my mom's food. Claimed she should only prepare food for us her kids. And so it was
He travelled again after spending a good whole year at home with us (for the very first time) to stay with his new wife. When he got married to my mom,he got her pregnant and left the following month. So, he never stayed with my mom. But when he got married to this one, he stayed with her for a year.
He left again before the lock down while his new wife was pregnant. Before then, he was closed to divorcing my mom. That's just like some months after he got married to his new wife. My mum stood her ground that she's going no where so, my dad and one of his brothers went all the way to Jos to go talk to her parents. By the special grace of God, they didn't get divorced.

He travelled leaving my mom with no cash and no business. He never calls us, even we the kids. My mum collected goods on credit and is even currently planing to take a loan just so, she could feed her 4 kids. The other wife's business also fell. She finally gave birth to a baby girl and also always kept complaining that my dad never calls her. My mum would only laugh and tell her that's the way he is. The new wife would go to her parent's place to ask for cash sometimes be in tears and be like what kinda marriage is this? My dad only called my mom once ever since he left early this year just to inform her that his new wife had given birth and that was it. Today is October 10th,my dad never called my mom nor we the kids. He called once on sallah day ranting and asking why we the kids never called him. Someone that doesn't send us cash, abeg how are we gonna get money for airtime and all that. With the little money I could get, I'd always send a vn via WhatsApp to always check on my dad but he never replies but reads the msg. I stopped checking on him.

The new wife keeps complaining on how she's gonna live with her lil baby and still calls her bf secretly saying she's fed up with the marriage and would like to see his face. She claims the marriage was all a rush and never knew all that glitters wasn't gold.

We always have light issues 'cause we use a prepaid meter and we always gotta recharge. Since my dad doesn't send money home no one wants to buy including one of my eldest cousin who my dad asked to begin to stay with us as a watch on the house ever since he got married to his new wife 'cause then, both my mom and the new wife always beefed each other. But they all good now
So, once a while it's gonna be this my elder cousin to buy the Nepa bills. Though, my mom was buying ever since my dad travelled not minding that she wasn't receiving money. She was also feeding this 21 yr old cousin of mine all through but stopped when things got really hard.

We had water issues since we had no light. So, we went to the next compound to fetch water, immediately that night my dad called and had someone give us 36k to keep for the light bills just so he could save his name outside. My younger sister stopped school recently and attend a home library Islamic school which one of my uncle's own. Since it's family related, it's gonna be easy for her to sort.

I've cried to my dad, kissed him a mil times, told him how much I love him but no, he listens to no one.He just neglects us, I'm so fed up and feel for my mum every day. What do I do to bring back love to my family as a their child? I need advice pls

@mynd44
@lefulefu29
@airforce1
@iLegendd27
@lalasticlala
@Righteousness89[/quote

These are my comments:

1. There has been lost love between your mom and dad even before you people were born. It might be due to unfaithfulness from either party.

2. Your dad has a bad home-omen, as in a neglecting attitude to family responsibility. No one can change it.

3. He may have committed himself in a family way over there (abroad), such that he can not be seen communicating on the phone. (Perhaps the oyinbo family may sue him to prison)

4. Your dad may be very broke.

5. There has been hatred from his family over you people for long. And that must have caused or started from your mom's attitude.(he once told you that your mom is a stubborn woman....first impression will last for long)

Lmao.. Now I know this is fiction. Bye

How old are you precious and where is your present location?

You didn't call me on this thread so I'm not giving you my advice goodbye.

ahhhh when u think ur own problem is d worst boom�another creature shows up with her's,well dear i understand ur ordeal but d only solution now is prayer,u need to pray more for ur dad...

Op
Ur article drew tears from my eyes.

It's most likely ur father has another family in the US.
How old are you?
You have to get something to do no matter how small to support your family and yourself.
Ur mum's children are the only husband ur mum has for now. Try and be united and help your mum.
Ur mum should also try out something to sustain herself. She should pray for her husband but not look unto him.

Ur dad will definitely come home to roost someday but before then, let him meet ur mum and her children as better people that he didn't support.

I believe you can do it and I sincerely believe I will hear better situation report concerning u and your family in no distant future. .

You guys have seek the intervention of God cos he is the only one who can help at this critical moment. Go meet ur pastor or priest for an advice also remember to pray with your family very often. When next ur dad visit make sure u ask him to join u in prayers. Just do this and one day you will see a change in ur family.

You don't have expect miracle to happen immediately. There's a mental endurance and peace of mind prayer brings to oneself. There's power in prayer and u have to continue praying all the time. Please dont be anxious with ur prayers expecting something to happen immediately cos it don't work that way. Keep praying with ur family and trust in God. Make sure you read ur Bible all the time. A family that prays together stays together.

Don't forget to ask ur dad to come join u in prayers however u can make that happen. He also need it

You are one of the NL vagina people that always spit trash about men and calling them names like; men are dogs, men are scum, men are this and men are that.

You cannot hide your identity, I know who you are....

You are a feminist now, ask your Co feminists that you mentioned above to give you advice....let us see the solution they can come up with.

mosdii:
You are one of the NL vagina people that always spit trash about men and calling them names like; men are dogs, men are scum, men are this and men are that.

You cannot hide your identity, I know who you are....

You are a feminist now, ask your Co feminists that you mentioned above to give you advice....let us see the solution they can come up with.

You are mad

Your mum is a Muslim and Dad am Igbo Christian

Interesting, How did the marriage happen?


Your dad from ph and mom from jos

Your all living in Kano

Start sellin kwosé and u go de see small small money nah

mosdii:
You are one of the NL vagina people that always spit trash about men and calling them names like; men are dogs, men are scum, men are this and men are that.

You cannot hide your identity, I know who you are....

You are a feminist now, ask your Co feminists that you mentioned above to give you advice....let us see the solution they can come up with.

Be reasonable for once bruv

Hello dear, are you done with school or yet to start??

How old are you?

Where in Kano do you stay?

i can't even imagine how you feel, so sorry you are passing through this at a young age

..

If i am going to be honest with you ,in my own humble opinion without being sentimental of course, without offending anyone who thinks differently from my own point of view,but also by looking into this matter in distinctive perspective ,i would like to say i have nothing to say.

Keep on praying...

Temitopemo6e6:
If i am going to be honest with you ,in my own humble opinion without being sentimental of course, without offending anyone who thinks differently from my own point of view,but also by looking into this matter in distinctive perspective ,i would like to say i have nothing to say.

Becareful.... I just wasted seconds of my life anticipating your contribution....

In as much Orphans live well, you can do better with or without him.

I promise he will regain his sense and come crawling at your feet.

In this life, problem no dey finish. Just accept it as it is.

Its up to you to be responsible to your children, give them the love you were not given and live a good life.

Preciousjewel01:
NO LOVE IN MY HOME (Advice pls)

My name is precious( wrong name). Opened this acct to go strictly anonymous. All kinda comments are accepted, good or bad. All I need is great advice pls. This is gonna be a little long story but pls bear with me.

I was born and raised in port Harcourt but moved down to Kano 2013. My dad is never home 'cause he works in the USA. So, believe me when I say I hardly know my dad. Comes home once a year sometimes once in 2 years. So, it's been just my mom all along. He's the very protective type not minding the fact he's never home. Especially since I'm his only daughter. Thing is I've never had my freedom, always indoors 24/7. Childhood memories are also boring asf, just the ones from school that's all.
Being in the USA, my dad is the type that loves to flex and chill a lot. Gets me nice clothes and all that. When we moved to Kano, he decided to open a clothing business for my mom with the capital of 4M. He agreed and had it done.

Along the way, they began to have issues 'cause my dad kept claiming he's the owner of the shop and wants all sales made to go to his own acct. My mum disagreed 'cause she was like even a sales girl gets her own salary. The agreement they made was that she's gonna send the money from whatever sales to his account while he pays her monthly for looking after the shop and selling the materials. Not minding the fact she's his wife o. They ran that way for months till my dad stopped paying her. She complained about it 'cause this man doesn't give her own personal allowance even as his wife. The shop was closed down for months.

He finally came back to Nigeria, my mom got pregnant but lost the baby to miscarriage. Just a month after, my dad married another wife. Even me as his daughter kept pleading on whatever issues they have and to resolve it but no. It was as if he was under voodoo. My dad is 50 and the lady he married is just 23.His first son is 25,imagine.

I asked my dad why he did all that but he told me was that my mom is proving stubborn. Fine, so thing is his family were super happy he got married to another 'cause he finally married their tribe. The young lady he married is igbo and my mom is Hausa. There's no single person from my dad's who likes my mom plainly because she's a muslim and not their tribe. We're Christians

In just one week of marriage, he already gave the new wife a car and also opened a shop for her. All this while, he stopped eating my mom's food. Claimed she should only prepare food for us her kids. And so it was
He travelled again after spending a good whole year at home with us (for the very first time) to stay with his new wife. When he got married to my mom,he got her pregnant and left the following month. So, he never stayed with my mom. But when he got married to this one, he stayed with her for a year.
He left again before the lock down while his new wife was pregnant. Before then, he was closed to divorcing my mom. That's just like some months after he got married to his new wife. My mum stood her ground that she's going no where so, my dad and one of his brothers went all the way to Jos to go talk to her parents. By the special grace of God, they didn't get divorced.

He travelled leaving my mom with no cash and no business. He never calls us, even we the kids. My mum collected goods on credit and is even currently planing to take a loan just so, she could feed her 4 kids. The other wife's business also fell. She finally gave birth to a baby girl and also always kept complaining that my dad never calls her. My mum would only laugh and tell her that's the way he is. The new wife would go to her parent's place to ask for cash sometimes be in tears and be like what kinda marriage is this? My dad only called my mom once ever since he left early this year just to inform her that his new wife had given birth and that was it. Today is October 10th,my dad never called my mom nor we the kids. He called once on sallah day ranting and asking why we the kids never called him. Someone that doesn't send us cash, abeg how are we gonna get money for airtime and all that. With the little money I could get, I'd always send a vn via WhatsApp to always check on my dad but he never replies but reads the msg. I stopped checking on him.

The new wife keeps complaining on how she's gonna live with her lil baby and still calls her bf secretly saying she's fed up with the marriage and would like to see his face. She claims the marriage was all a rush and never knew all that glitters wasn't gold.

We always have light issues 'cause we use a prepaid meter and we always gotta recharge. Since my dad doesn't send money home no one wants to buy including one of my eldest cousin who my dad asked to begin to stay with us as a watch on the house ever since he got married to his new wife 'cause then, both my mom and the new wife always beefed each other. But they all good now
So, once a while it's gonna be this my elder cousin to buy the Nepa bills. Though, my mom was buying ever since my dad travelled not minding that she wasn't receiving money. She was also feeding this 21 yr old cousin of mine all through but stopped when things got really hard.

We had water issues since we had no light. So, we went to the next compound to fetch water, immediately that night my dad called and had someone give us 36k to keep for the light bills just so he could save his name outside. My younger sister stopped school recently and attend a home library Islamic school which one of my uncle's own. Since it's family related, it's gonna be easy for her to sort.

I've cried to my dad, kissed him a mil times, told him how much I love him but no, he listens to no one.He just neglects us, I'm so fed up and feel for my mum every day. What do I do to bring back love to my family as a their child? I need advice pls

@mynd44
@lefulefu29
@airforce1
@iLegendd27
@lalasticlala
@Righteousness89
@Dominique
@Ishilove
@zzor
@virginprincess
@petyprincess
@nwaAmaikpe

Just leave him and focus on your self and your mum a time will come and he will look for you people then you guys will pay him in his own coins

Minsk24:


Becareful.... I just wasted seconds of my life anticipating your contribution....

what i do

Op, Ur Dad Is Wicked 4 Not Giving Ur Mother D Shop Or Business As Her Own. I Didn't Ur Long Epistle To D End. However, I Would Advise Dat U Shouldn't Bother Urself Abt Ur Fathers Behaviour Cuz, It's His Money Dat Is Intoxicating To Behave Dat Way. He Feels He Is Untop Of D World & He Can Do Whatever Dat Pleases Him. Let Ur Mother Get A Job Doing & U Should Also Assit Ur Mother With D Little U Av. As 4 Ur Father Will Come Back To His Senses But By Den It Might Be Too Late 4 Him Cuz, He Would Regret His Actions Bitterly.

Sorry to hear dearie. This is the same situation in my house, only difference is that my dad is living in a different state with his other wife.
I've seen that there's little or nothing one can do in these situations.
No one should even mention prayers cos we've been doing that for over a year. Didn't work