Fire fire

Man TJ:

In truth no man has the right to beat his wife, but they should discover the cause of the fight
Women should should learn to respect her husband  {dt goes to both party}
Bible do not support divorce, what the woman can do is to put the heart of the man in prayer maybe satan is @ work
Both party needs deliverance from the cause of fighting
The woman should have something doing to support the family as well, because dt will earn her some respect
The woman should not be involved in extra marital affairs because man could kill because of that
The woman should not be a busy body type of woman
[b]PLS: lets respect our marriag[/b]e .

It is the belief and advice of men like you that have made many a woman die in their matrimonial homes at the hands of their husbands. I don't know how to get it into your skull that it does NOT matter what the woman does - a man should not physically abuse his wife, period. If the wife is rude or cheats, there are civilized ways to deal with the issue. Just send her packing to her father's house! You can't control what she does but you can DEFINITELY control what YOU do in response to it. A man that beats on his wife deserves to be given a thorough beating and then gang-raped in a jail cell.

Ooooh, I dare one stupid man to lay his hands on my little sister. He go see wehn!!! The thought of it just makes my blood boil!!! I will deal with him so badly, my sister and her children will be pleading with me for his life!

moremi2008:

It is the belief and advice of men like you that have made many a woman die in their matrimonial homes at the hands of their husbands. I don't know how to get it into your skull that it does NOT matter what the woman does - a man should not physically abuse his wife, period. If the wife is rude or cheats, there are civilized ways to deal with the issue. Just send her packing to her father's house! You can't control what she does but you can DEFINITELY control what YOU do in response to it. A man that beats on his wife deserves to be given a thorough beating and then gang-violated in a jail cell.

Ooooh, I dare one silly man to lay his hands on my little sister. He go see wehn!!! The thought of it just makes my blood boil!!! I will deal with him so badly, my sister and her children will be pleading with me for his life!

lol
People with brain cells are busy asking questions like:
why did the man suddenly change
why not inform elders
How long have they been married. . . bla bla
Meanwhile the woman dey chop beating dey go

semid4lyfe:

Concerned Neighbour? Hmmmm. . . . .

Not saying it ain't true but peeps come in different guises to start thread on Nairaland so I won't be surprised if all na ''bobo''

@ Ify,
off topic but shey you don sign the dotted lines?

which ones be dotted lines and who dotted the lines ni ?
I signed a longolongo line with Dayokanu.

//

chaircover:

@Imoh81 the first thing to do is to try and locate Debora's relatives. I know you say that you are only a neighbor but if you really want to save this woman's life then you have to actually do something to help her.

If you ask the kids, they may be able to give you a relatives address. Take a responsible person with you and go and speak to her relatives. The aim is for[b] Deborah to be discharged from hospital not back home but to her relatives house.[/b]

Its up to the relative to call other family members or whatever and decide how to proceed with this but first things first is to remove this woman from further danger while they decide

I know that people dont like getting involved in other peoples disputes because anything can happen but a life is at risk here and you cant just waka pass and not do anything.

@OP,This also is another way to help.I did not even Know that Deborah is hospitalized already  
The only draw backs this approach might get are:
If the relatives are poor and are getting "financial helps" from the man.
If Deborah is an only child with only distant relatives,most times those distant relatives don't wanna involve themselves.
If she married against the parents or relatives wish.

pappykay1:

heya poor  woman anyway she shlf go to alausa ask of OFFICE OF THE OPD LAGOS STATE OPD MEAN OFFICE OF THE PUBLIC DEFENDANT i think there office is@ motorway beside sevenup bottling company tollgate there office is thier nad comlain to them they will be of help for her.
thanks

Goodyness:

I think FIDA (it is an association of female lawyers) can help, don't have their contact but the nearest NBA office will be a good starting point as they should be able to provide you with FIDA's contact.

. . .Worth trying.Thanks guys.  

//

chaircover:

Ok ify lets take this step by step and I am going to try and be as careful as I am so that I am not misunderstood. I personally think that we are saying the same thing but in different ways but I will soon find out  

1. Man beats wife
2. Wife runs away/leaves/whatever to save her life

This is where I think your advice ends; apologies if I have misunderstood you.

I however want to go one step further and say

3. Is man genuingly sober (yes or no)
4a. No - the woman stays put where she is and starts to consider building her life without the man
4b. yes - Then there is a possibility of dialogue and possible reconciliation if the man shows genuine remorse and both husband and wife are counseled on how to deal with conflict, communicate etc

The question is, does step 4b mean that I am making marriage a do or die affair and once a beater always a beater.

No,Chaircover . . .I think I said much more.
3.The woman should get a job,re-discover and re-arrange her self/life as an individual.
4.If she thinks that marriage to the same man is for whatever reasons best known to her,still worth working on(This is where either Police,Family,church,NGO comes in to guide her,talk with the man etc) she can give it a try again  . . .This decision is hers alone to make.

I was not there when they started their marriage and i definitely(God Forbid) would not be the one to tell anyone to get a DIVORCE,If you talk abt separation,Yes I preach that 24/7 . . .when the kitchen is too hot,even a baby knows the best thing to do is to step out first,get some fresh air,cool your head then decide if whatever u left on fire in that kitchen is worth going back to check on.

//

In addition to what some posters have written(specially @Ifyalways)if it is true what the OP reported,then the husband needs to ba called to order,he needs some counselling and anger management sessions.Where is the love he had for the wife,if he had 5 children by her,then surely they must once have been an item.Please peeps offer advice.

@OP

Pls go out of your way to befriend the man,slowly work your way into him to loosen his guard,then tell him the home truth,you just might be the angel God has sent to save that poor woman from being killed.Please think about this and act

Call ministery of women affairs and poverty alliviation on 017617508

That is if this is happening in Lagos state.

All the best

It's quite easy for us to pass judgment and say "she should leave him" amongst others. However, numerous people have contributed some sensible points like she's a mother with kids, a housewife at that. No one deserves to be abused (physically, emotionally etc). However, it's no new knowledge that such a lady would only leave when she finds the inner strength to do so.

A woman like that would snap back in time but it's a matter of when and hopefully, it's not too late. You can do whatever you can as a friend, even to the point of going to her home and moving her out but until she's ready to move on personally, she'll be right back to the abusive husband.

Perhaps, this also drives a point home to ladies. NEVER depend on a man. I can't emphasize this enough. If she were not a housewife and had something going on for herself, perhaps it would make the transition especially in the financial realm much easier for her. She needs to work on getting on herself together if not for herself, for her children.

Unfortunately, like majority of victims, they don't want to hear or see the truth. Be a friend, support her, be there when she needs you as she might see you as the enemy instead of her abuser.

Hope your friend seeks help and finds it within her to get out of this situation before it gets worse.

FIDA will definitely help out & dey handle a lot of pro bono cases 2 in case she is broke. She should not under any circumstance endanger her life in d name of marriage. Am not in support of divorce bt it will save her life den its a lesser devil. Her kids needs her so does d society even if her husband does not.

FIDA will definitely help out & dey handle a lot of pro bono cases 2 in case she is broke. She should not under any circumstance endanger her life in d name of marriage. Am not in support of divorce bt it will save her life den its a lesser devil. Her kids needs her so does d society even if her husband does not. As 4 us Ladies, never marry a man dat has no authority figure in his life, s.one he listens 2 & respects a lot & be useful 2 ur self ( never knew dat bin a housewife is still fashionable in some ladies lives!)

here is another link to Project Alert Josephine@projectalertnig.org

someone told me of how they helped women in similar situations.

Violence against women should be totally discouraged.

i tire for african men oooooo.

they both need deliverance from curse of fight and didnt they get married in the church

mkpuluma:

here is another link to Project Alert  Josephine@projectalertnig.org

someone told me of how they helped women in similar situations.

Violence against women should be totally discouraged.

i tire for african men oooooo.

Violence against women is not limited to African men only. It is a global phenomenal.

Go check info about Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen .They both have history of Violence against women.

So stop been a stereotype.

Violence against women is not limited to African men only. It is a global phenomenal.

Go check info about Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen .They both have history of Violence against women.

So stop been a stereotype.


na so i pain u reach?

anyway thats your headache.

mkpuluma:

na so i pain u reach?

anyway thats your headache.

You don come again with you wahala ooo.

No let my madam vex oo

You don come again with you wahala ooo.

No let my madam vex oo


who be d madam?

hope say u no dey beat am o like Deborah's husband.

naa

If she catch me dey yarn u online na serious kasala be dat.

i beg o

i no wan cos wahala.

all the best.

No prob;em ,

I i know how to delete browsing history.

You see, no be only man dey beat him wifee. Some women fit kill their hubby with just one blow.

Spousal abuse knows no race or sex.

You see, no be only man dey beat him wifee. Some women fit kill their hubby with just one blow.

Spousal abuse knows no race or sex.

thats true but violence against wives/women seems to be more common.

You're the closest confront the husband, what nonsense

emmatok:

Violence against women is not limited to African men only. It is a global phenomenal.

Go check info about Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen .They both have history of Violence against women.

So stop been a stereotype.

see your life?

mkpuluma:

Violence against women is not limited to African men only. It is a global phenomenal.

Go check info about Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen .They both have history of Violence against women.

So stop been a stereotype.


na so i pain u reach?

anyway thats your headache.

LOol, u be big olodo, oluku, olu duede, akpalakpa