@Honeyzz

very well said!!!

there should be a line, a divide at that determining who and who you are responsible to, and also that people on the two different sides need to be understanding and show some compassion;

The receiver should be patient; whilst the giver should learn to communicate what  their challenges are to their people and not necessarily see them as leeches

blue-sky:

yes nigerians in the UK are stingy
If this annoys u so much, don't call them no more. I'm sure they have forgotten all bout u anyways.

All dis pple wey go London go park shit, allow me hear word, Hustler like u!!

@Elgaxton,
We are trying to have a decent discussion here and not INSULTS.
What business of it is yours if someone packs shiiiiit?
C'mon, look beyond your nose and contribute something constructive.

i think they do. it's just persistent you know. my classmate (married) and in Graduate school was just gisting me the headache she is facing from both side. last month she said she sent some money to both her mother and hubby's mother. she had saved that money to do her hair, thinking it will be enough for 3months hairdos. right now she is trying to cut off her hair no money for it, couple with she is a student. just last week her brother came back from another african country, where he has soujourned for more than four years and now asking for money to go back to school. he is over 30years old. her sister is looking for a shop and asking for money 90k, the other sister is in college and asking for money(didn't say exactly but that sister, am about to leave for school), she just sent in money to take care of the family rent.

on the hubby side, same story. brother is getting married and want money. the other one ask for money just to upgrade his store and pay for his children school fees. another extended family is asking for money to learn a trade. asked for 50k for the trade. the mother is sick and need care. the sister need help and asking that he call them.

now she is soooo tired she was telling me and i just felt pity for her.

So you see?? now her own friends in Nigeria are asking too so is her hubby's lol.

na wah oooo.

make una stop am ooo . make una no use depression kill una siblings and friends now. who go give bread then eh?

@jackal

the dude "Elgaxton" started the whole thread, so he's kinda still pissed off

i have said it, e be like say somebody or his friends just refused to send him money he asked for. abi na the phone book from UK he asked for and no get dey make am vex here

I think the reason nigerians in the UK appear stingy is that they pay tax heavily.Not saying those in the US and Europe do not,only that in the UK,to evade tax payment is tantamount to a jail term while elsewhere,its not as heavy and its evadable(if u know what i mean).

No need judging them,just call them if u can and if not,pray for them and face your own life, someday,you'll all come together with interesting stories to share wiv each other.

@elgaxton, naa bros you still dey vex ahhhh. you seem to be looking at it through black and white. sometimes you dont know people's situations. its not just about going abroad and hustling, being abroad teaches you valuable life lessons, what to do when you find yourself in certain situations. i came here in my early 20s and because of the things i've seen, experiences i've gone through, i've had to grow up so fast and think like a 50 year old. its not easy at all. we care about our people back home, but the situations we face are just too crippling. and the reason we push ourselves to work to the bones is because we know where we're going and what we want to achieve. why do you think there are so many successful nigerians in hollywood etc? na by hard work and perseverance.
so dont be too hard on them, please.

The post about the dog that works to help the owner make ends meet was just too funny to be ignored. I laughed so much I thought I would never stop laughing. I imagine how sad the dog will be waiting for his 8 or 12 or even 16 hour shift to end so he could sit or go home and sleep so as to get ready for the next day. Oh my! . Hahahahahahaha. Lord help me cause I cant stop laughing whenever I remember the story. Poor ol' dog.

@Jackal!

Dont mind my primitive outburst,

She was just too sarcastic.

@Omoge

That's all u've said about this topic, If u beg people money, well I am not in that League, I've explained my reason for this

thread but u no go hear!

@soul Patrol

Thanks!

My point is simply the mentality behind their not giving and that is "Money is hard over here"

Fine we all know european countries are kind of expensive but any man who wants to succeed should have the right

mentality towards making money and not the Lack Mentality!!

omoge:

i think they do. it's just persistent you know. my classmate (married) and in Graduate school was just gisting me the headache she is facing from both side. last month she said she sent some money to both her mother and hubby's mother. she had saved that money to do her hair, thinking it will be enough for 3months hairdos. right now she is trying to cut off her hair no money for it, couple with she is a student. just last week her brother came back from another african country, where he has soujourned for more than four years and now asking for money to go back to school. he is over 30years old. her sister is looking for a shop and asking for money 90k, the other sister is in college and asking for money(didn't say exactly but that sister, am about to leave for school), she just sent in money to take care of the family rent.

on the hubby side, same story. brother is getting married and want money. the other one ask for money just to upgrade his store and pay for his children school fees. another extended family is asking for money to learn a trade. asked for 50k for the trade. the mother is sick and need care. the sister need help and asking that he call them.

now she is soooo tired she was telling me and i just felt pity for her.

So you see?? now her own friends in Nigeria are asking too so is her hubby's lol.

na wah oooo.

make una stop am ooo . make una no use depression kill una siblings and friends now. who go give bread then eh?

Tell your friend to screen her calls well well before answering "hello".
If you know the number of Nigerians abroad dropping dead suddenly you'll understand what I mean.
I simply will not answer,the pressure from loved ones can be overbearing.
If a man finds a wife and expects me to pay for the wedding,he must be dreaming,the most I can give is a wedding gift not sponsoring a wedding,what nonsense!

Like someone said earlier,Those of us here ought to make it clear to our relatives at home that we are also struggling like they are.
We don't do our hair weekly,have 3 cellphones and shop at designer stores only.
I have no problem saying "NO" except to my parents who incidentally never ask for anything.

blue-sky:

yes nigerians in the UK are stingy
If this annoys u so much, don't call them no more. I'm sure they have forgotten all bout u anyways.

until they start looking for someone to send over their transcript or someone to snoop on their intended wife

babyosisi:

until they start looking for someone to send over their transcript or someone to snoop on their intended wife

Thank You o!!

babyosisi:


I have no problem saying "NO" except to my parents who incidentally never ask for anything.

Shikina!!!(hausa)

Simple smart Reply!!

God bless u jare!

@elgaxton, i see youbacktracking again o. one minute you dey sympathise, another minute you self dey join to attack. which one you dey now, bros

soulpatrol:

@elgaxton, i see youbacktracking again o. one minute you dey sympathise, another minute you self dey join to attack. which one you dey now, bros

How? I simply agree with Babyosi on her ground to say no to whoever, no be by force!

@uk peeps

It will appear that most of you grew up with people who are famished, beggarly and maybe you were once doing the same but now levels have changed and you can no longer cope with their subaltern position. I wonder if you go tell every tom, dick and harry your number, i wonder how just one person will claim to receive 20 calls a day from different people, all with the intention of begging if the person was never like them (birds of a feather, , ).

Beyond my wonder, i have this to say that to some of us, travelling to uk is not really success but it will appear that all the people you seem to know sees you as a success just because you travelled to the uk. What happens to the saying that real success always have a successor, why don't you just help someone and I really mean someone and let the world around you feel your impact.

Stingy to your friends, your siblings, your parents and even yourself and you say it is not easy over here and that's why it aint  really getting easy!!!

soul, the guy just dey do one kin  

yes that dog posting that worked for his master sure was hilarious. but true, dog got to work and only for someone in nig to ask the lady for money, you see  

yes oo Osisi, it was sooo shocking and well, all i could do was listen to her and share mine cuz i know we all in same shoe though hers kinda worst. she told me that 2years ago, the inlaw had a girlfriend who gave birth for him and he called to inform them in UK that his gf don born and asked for money by saying 'baby go chop' lol. Her hubby was trying to put money together and she was so mad that he had to drop the idea. that was 2years ago. now he is getting married and asking for money from his sibling in UK. abegi o.

Note: my friend allowed me to share her story. i told her i will pass along advice. so am going to post the url to her, thanks for your idea  

you just have to sit with your friends over coffee or a meal and hear funny thing  

i am very sure people abroad help a great deal (i have to use myself to measure others that they help). the point is the DEMAND is just tooooooooo much. If you do for this person, they will hear and pester you.

the thing here is not the asking but the asking don pass power and our friend dey complain say his friend no return his call, friend wey don run for cover 

omoge:

i am very sure people abroad help a great deal (i have to use myself to measure others that they help). the point is the DEMAND is just tooooooooo much. If you do for this person, they will hear and pester you.

the thing here is not the asking but the asking don pass power and our friend dey complain say his friend no return his call, friend wey don run for cover

I no know wetin u dey talk o

Omoge, I said i no disturb person o! You no dey hear that one @ all.

Although monkey must answer him name now!

monkey no answer him name if another monkey dey call am  nowadays o maybe another monkey wey no expect anything will be the best one that monkey go ans 


I no know wetin u dey talk o

Omoge,  I said i no disturb person o! You no dey hear that one @ all.

Although monkey must answer him name now!

na wetin make you dey vex then? just say he no call you back? why is it important that he should? afterall he get friends wey close near am, he may get girlfriend or babe/wifey wey need am more than you need him, maybe he work long hours, so think well and try to understand. and again, get new friends and try to release your abroad friends 

I know I'm jumping in the middle of the conversation here but didn't we all while in Nigeria think that life was all rosy in the west?
There are tons of Nigerians that live much better than some of us here.

omoge eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
na you dey get bad mouth so?
I'm trying to change ooooo
don't corrupt me lol

I read the tread with lot of interest.  The whole issue make me sad, some comments are funny while most are facts from both side. About 12 years ago we discussed This issue in New York " why those naija guys in UK are stingy, while naija babes over there are just the opposite" I guess no one can really tell ! You have to go to London to see for yourself! whatever the situations is only God knows. is not like we don't pay tax here( North America). we do have bills to pay too just as much as you guys do in UK. Nethertheless the question to the topic still stand? ( I know there got to be a reason for everything, the studies shows that 90% of UK based naija are just OK to take care of themselves and not others hencefort making others think they are stingy). Other European based naija are somewhat better respond to their fellow naija at home. I don't have to tell you about north American based naija, you no the deal !!!

Please note that there are many naija at home that are far doing better than those in abroad. Stop the "naija at home are beggers talk" A decade ago my brother in-law in naija  gave me $1000UDS when he found out that I wanted to relocate from USA to Canada. I don't even ask him! This was some one I gave nothing but true friendship / in-law relationship to.(his sudden death still piss me off.)

I have a high school friend that calls me every week from naija, Just last week I had to apologized to him for never the one that call him. I made him understand my time management, and gladly appreciate his comprehension on the issue. Trust me, he never ask for anything, he just want to talk about old time and my well being. Now this is a friend.

OTH(on the other hand) The last time I went to Lagos, my very best friend (who I I've help in many occasions to contributed to his uni. ed. when I was still in naija) just ditched me for disouraging him not to rely on his big brother who won visa lottery to USA 2 month earlier for every little thing. up to now i didn't know what i did wrong to him. I gave him the very best of true friendship.

I guess what I M trying to say is although there may be some guys that always seems to call and beg for money but not every old friend in naija do that. There are some that can even help you out financially in respective where you live, however those UK based naija should have the courage to responce to some true friend calls and tell them the way it truly is with them.

@ babyosisi, na so we see am o

my sister, how you dey?

enjoying the summer weather right?

[color=#006600][/color]

very rite we all this is true of nijas in UK. i av a whole lot of my relations in UK, but i don;t even give a damn about them all.

i wonder o communication is very essential o, because you dont know what might happen tomorrow. and tomorrow is not even ever promised. this thread is even making me want to call everybody i care about and ask about their well being because time is so precious, especially when it is long distance. even if they ask me for money, imma just tell them my financial situation and its left to them to understand. but please, whenever you have the time, call a friend up and say hi. you never know when YOU in the UK/US/Canada might need their help. biko, thank you

_{going through dusty old address book to call her peeps up}

well, if u dnt have somthing to give,is that supposed to categorise u as stingy.i do know that some people that travel abroad have problems abt their immigrant status for so many years b4 they stabilise.so with this kind of headache coupled with the ever present threat of being deported and also  not being ablr to get a good job cos of ur status,u expect the person to send money home.its almost impossible.u work so hard bt tax takes everything away.u can hardly survive and u cant even call home for help.u r OYO.think people need to understand that trying to make a living in nigeria is almost the same as trying to make a living in the uk except some diffrences and bsides u are a second class citizn without all the benefits of being a citizen,therefore life is more difficlt.and u and i know u cant star complaining hw difficult life is cos b4 u left u had already made mouth of what u will do and wont do.

though some people might be a little tight fisted,economic difficulty will make them more tight fisted.of course all this would not happen if the person is involved in anything illegal.

so,i do belief people should expect occasional help or gifts just like it will be if they are in naija.
i do have a lot of friends and relatives abroad bt i dnt bother them except on occasions i need their help on info or something that is ot readily availabe in naija.

i also do have an issue with people that refuse to acknowledge people that help them and assist them in times of difficulty,if u r in a position to do it,just do ahead and do it.
for this same reason i always say never expect to get something in return for helping somebody,that way, u wont be dissappointed.cheers

Na wa for you, Thread starter!
Why you still dey vex for U.k peeps. . .anywayz, I wouldn't blame you! I pray you come over here and see things for yourself. . . .

una no go kill me at all.
una no go kill me with laughter

i be like say things no too easy anywhere.
even dog dey work for US.

after reading through all the accusations,
i have decided to send 20 pounds to each of my friends.
but my landlord has to wait. i won't be able to my rent this month.

@azorjiu. and you know say na for outside you go sleep right? continue being a good samaritan until they suck you dry! i don try am before. i send money to a very good friend of mine, all in the name of helping, at the end of the day i discover say money no dey in my bank account anymore. had to do some unplanned fasting till the next paycheck!